This may not be easy for most. I took my Wife to Chameleons (Darlaston) literally just so that I could experience the environment, not wanting or expecting either of us to play with others, just to watch.
On that first visit, we watched others in action, it was good. In the bar area we talked to a chap most of the evening.
On the second visit, much the same and surprisingly we chatted with the same chat for most of the evening.
I think that it was after the fourth visit, we were driving home and I said, did you enjoy this evening. She replied that she did and that she could see the chaps cock whilst he was chatting. I replied "So What?" and she replied that it looked quite nice. I cannot explain it, previously I never had thoughts of her playing with anyone else, but that statement gave me an instant erection.
So after discussions, on the next visit we went to a room, they massaged one another and she gave him a hand job. Next visit, it was the same but ended with a blow job. Next visit it was the same, but she climbed on his cock.
The feelings going through me were indescribable, on one hand I wanted to punch his lights out, but on the other hand I was sat there with an erection, the likes that I hadn't had in years!
To put my cock in afterwards was undescribable and that man became our regular buddy for over a decade.
This may or may not help others, but we had zero thought about involving sex with others, it just happened due partly to the environment that we were in. But when it did happen, it was the most amazing thing ever. It might be important to stress here that I (the Male) never ever play with others, so the Wife is quite secure in that sense.