To Cry Or Not To Cry?

13 Apr 2007

I dont know why but I was thinking about crying :doh: ( not actually crying myself just in general).
I have a female friend who just cannot cry, she refuses to cry about anything, she hates to show her emotions, but then I also have a male friend who cries at the drop at a hat, especially after watching sad films and tv programs. (the big wuss) wink

I have noticed that my male friend does seem a lot more relaxed in life. Has that got anything to do with crying dunno

I personally can get choked up just watching the adverts on tv :shock:
I need a good cry now and again and I always feel a release a day or so after and that much happier, and I dont think its about feeling down. Do you think its like other frustrations ie sexual( relieve yourself), anger ( screaming your head off), in a way that, get it out of your system and you'll be ok?
So I guess what im saying is, do you love a good cry, whether your male or female?
Do you hate to show the softer side of your personality?
Does crying make you feel better or worse?
Does your or other peoples crying make you feel uncomfortable?
What sets you off the most?
Are you a big cry baby? :giggle:
Louise xx >>>>>>>>off for a good cry, be back in 10 minutes lol

13 Apr 2007

Quote by louise_and_joe
So I guess what im saying is, do you love a good cry, whether your male or female? Sometimes but other times its damned annoying
Do you hate to show the softer side of your personality? Yes
Does crying make you feel better or worse? Usually better but not always
Does your or other peoples crying make you feel uncomfortable? No not at all
What sets you off the most? Anything at the moment

13 Apr 2007

I hardly ever cry... ever!
But yesterday I was visiting my Nan in hospital and when it came time to leave I just started welling up! :shock:
I sat and took some deep breaths because I didn't want my Nan to twig that I was getting upset. Mrs Kiss went to get up and come over to me but I gestured for her not to as it would have made me worse.
I managed to pull myself together and tell my Nan that we were leaving etc but as soon as I walked out of the ward I just started blubbing again. I desperately tried to hold it in but I did one of those uncontrolable sobs that you just can't supress.
Anyway I got outside and had a good sessions of bawling my eyes out but I felt much much better afterwards.
I tend to bottle things up, I hadn't cried since she had the stroke on Monday but I knew I kind of needed to and it just got to the point where I couldn't supress it.
I think it's healthy for people to cry now and again, even men.

13 Apr 2007

Quote by Kiss
Mrs Kiss went to get up and come over to me but I gestured for her not to as it would have made me worse.

I find I cry more if someone is nice to me, why is that?
Ian knows not to hug me when I'm upset because the tears flow more confused

There is someone on SH that has in the past told me off for crying on the phone, I just can't help it at times rolleyes

13 Apr 2007

At my Grandads funeral, my Dad and I were crying. I went to hug him and he pushed me away. I was only 14 at the time and I couldnt understand why he did that. Now I know that it would have made him feel worse and I understand sad

though I could have done with the cuddle at that time.
Louise xx

13 Apr 2007

Quote by louise_and_joe
So I guess what im saying is, do you love a good cry, whether your male or female? i hate it because the tears flow too easily if i don't try not to let them
Do you hate to show the softer side of your personality? Yes
Does crying make you feel better or worse? usually no different the problem be it saddness or happiness is still there
Does your or other peoples crying make you feel uncomfortable? Not uncomfortable as it sometimes starts me off especially women crying
What sets you off the most? Kindness more than sadness

13 Apr 2007

Quote by louise_and_joe
So I guess what im saying is, do you love a good cry, whether your male or female?
Do you hate to show the softer side of your personality?
Yes it makes me feel vulnerable, my crying is a very private thing and i am guilty of pushing people away so i dont cry more, but on saying that, i can watch a film etc and cry quite openly
Does crying make you feel better or worse?
In general i would say better, it is a tension release, even if it does not make whatever better, it kinda leaves a bit of room to carry on with things.
Does your or other peoples crying make you feel uncomfortable?
No not at all, even though i'm very private with mine i do believe it is a good release.
What sets you off the most?
Generally family problems, which can range from a death to a minor disappointment and i feel sad for that person. It depends on my mood though also, for instance my gran who has passed, i can talk about her openly then other times i cry just at the thought..
Are you a big cry baby?
No, for myself, most people never see me cry; i'm generally the strong one that fixes - also at times i dare not cry for fear of never stopping, so i push it away. Give me a good weepy film though and i'll be fighting you for the tissues
Louise xx >>>>>>>>off for a good cry, be back in 10 minutes :lol:

13 Apr 2007

Quote by louise_and_joe
So I guess what im saying is, do you love a good cry, whether your male or female? I havent cried in a couple of years, I've never really liked to cry and the fact that i didnt cry at my nans funeral last year made me feel like shit. I went off and i played hockey instead, thats always been my way of dealing with emotion.
Do you hate to show the softer side of your personality? As a few members on here will now i HATE showing off my softer side, it comes from growing up in a house full of women i think, i was the man i always felt as though i should be putting a brave face on things
Does crying make you feel better or worse? Its been so long i dont remember
Does your or other peoples crying make you feel uncomfortable? I dont like hearing people i care about cry, i heard my older sister cry yesterday (trust me she had reason to)and i had to get somewhere i couldnt hear her, i think it was because i couldnt do anything about it. I always feel better when i know i can do something about whats making a person cry, thats something i need to STOP doing as well
What sets you off the most? I dont remember
Are you a big cry baby? nope :giggle:

Its also a guilty secret of mine that the reason i didnt go to the funeral of my brothers mum (half brothers) was because i couldnt stand to see/hear my brothers cry.

13 Apr 2007

Quote by louise_and_joe
I personally can get choked up just watching the adverts on tv :shock:
So do I - particularly the NSPCC or animal welfare ones
Do you think its like other frustrations ie sexual( relieve yourself), anger ( screaming your head off), in a way that, get it out of your system and you'll be ok?
Yes, I think there's an element of that - depends why you're crying though.
So I guess what im saying is, do you love a good cry, whether your male or female?
Wouldn't say I love it.
Do you hate to show the softer side of your personality?
No. Doesn't happen often though!
Does crying make you feel better or worse?
Depends. If I'm mad it makes me feel I'm sad/been arguing it gives me a headache.
Does your or other peoples crying make you feel uncomfortable?
Not really - except they might think I was upset when I'm crying in temper. Other people's crying doesn't make me feel uncomfortable though.
What sets you off the most?
Girly films. Temper. Arguing (so temper!)
Are you a big cry baby? :giggle:
No.

13 Apr 2007

I went for about 8 years without crying but my emotions just manifested themselves in outburts of anger.
Last year I cried properly and I haven't had an anger outburst since. It all comes out eventually in whatever way is the easiest way for the mind to cope with.
I know now that crying is a far more immediate and effective way of expressing emotion so now I find myself welling up fairly constantly... thank god I can wear dark glasses without too much attention in these brighter days!

13 Apr 2007

im not some who would cry. I have a strong personality and would always be there to help people who need to cry. But in the last few months that has changed, I have realised that sometimes you need to, holding it in is not good for you but my circumstance are different now.

13 Apr 2007

I'm afraid I'm crying at the drop of a hat lately :cry: It's my hormones and for no reason whatsoever, I'll be in a pool of tears in minutes.
I do cry easily anyway but this week it's worse than normal :cry:

13 Apr 2007

Quote by Sassy-Seren
I'm afraid I'm crying at the drop of a hat lately :cry: It's my hormones and for no reason whatsoever, I'll be in a pool of tears in minutes.
I do cry easily anyway but this week it's worse than normal :cry:

:therethere: thinkin of you hun xxx

13 Apr 2007

Quote by louise_and_joe
I
I need a good cry now and again and I always feel a release a day or so after and that much happier, and I dont think its about feeling down. Do you think its like other frustrations ie sexual( relieve yourself), anger ( screaming your head off), in a way that, get it out of your system and you'll be ok?
Yes
So I guess what im saying is, do you love a good cry, whether your male or female?
Yes
Do you hate to show the softer side of your personality?
Yes
Does crying make you feel better or worse?
Better.. sometimes (if grieving .. no)
Does your or other peoples crying make you feel uncomfortable?
A little yes
What sets you off the most?
Are you a big cry baby? :giggle:
No

I rarely cry in front of people, I'll be damned if I will show that side of me, don't ask me why I just won't. My true friends have seen me cry and so has Jay at my Grandparents' funerals. My daughter has not seen me cry, she doesn't need to.
If I feel it's coming on, I'll go off into a room on my own and sob, I won't try and keep it in as it makes you feel worse.
:cry:

13 Apr 2007

Despite going through a whole load of shit lately, I've remained (almost completely) dry eyed. Part of the reason, I think, is that Mr W is a cryer- and one of us has to keep it together.
I'm not a talker though either. Mr W can talk the proverbial hind legs off a donkey- he will just spill his innermost for hours on end. I simply don't have the energy to. Even if I did have, im not sure I'd have the inclination- im an intensely private person I guess. dunno

13 Apr 2007

Quote by louise_and_joe
I personally can get choked up just watching the adverts on tv :shock:

Me too
So I guess what im saying is, do you love a good cry, whether your male or female?

Sometimes it's just needed
Do you hate to show the softer side of your personality?
Not really
Does crying make you feel better or worse?
Usually better
Does your or other peoples crying make you feel uncomfortable?
No but it can set me off as well
What sets you off the most?
Temper tears
Are you a big cry baby? :giggle:
Not really ;)

13 Apr 2007

Quote by Ukwineman
im not some who would cry. I have a strong personality and would always be there to help people who need to cry. But in the last few months that has changed, I have realised that sometimes you need to, holding it in is not good for you but my circumstance are different now.

I don't see a correlation between a strong personality and whether they cry or not. I think teh ability to show your feelings and deal with situations is a far better marker than crying. I think it takes great strength to cry when you need to.

Quote by jaymar
My daughter has not seen me cry, she doesn't need to.

I totally disagree with this one Mar. I think it is good for kids to see us cry (at appropriate times obviously), they need to see we have emotion and that things make us happy or sad (I cry for both reasons).
2 examples my eldest son and I sat and watched something on TV and both cried together at a sad ending. We both laughed about it and agreed the emotion touched us in the same way. Great bonding I'd say. Second example, same son saw me cry gentle tears as we came away from visting a family member with a terminal illness, he put his hand on my arm and comforted me, it did not embarrass him (he's 8) and I explained how sad it made me feel to watch someone in pain.
I very much want my children to understand, appreciate and show emotion when it is relevant.
pink x

13 Apr 2007

I cried with grief when my father died and at his funeral, and at my mother's funeral, and at my daughter's unhappiness when her mother and I split up, and in self-pity when a girl I had dreamed off told me to get lost ... and nowadays I often cry at sad and romantic films.

13 Apr 2007

I'm one of the ones that cries at absolutely everything confused

:? :? :? As soon as I hit a strong emotion, I'm in tears rolleyes

I cry when laughing, my fave one, the whole hurting stomach belly laughs that won't go away, and the more you try and stop em, the harder they burst out lol

Anger, not a good one because it imediately puts you into an almost submissive stance :? The worst is at work when I done it, got so angry I cried and couldn't put my argument forward, which made me angrier, which made me cry more, had to walk off in the end and calm down!! It's horrible, I really hate it and would love to know how to stop that one.
I never buy family birthday cards, unless I've stood in the shop crying when I read them - embarrasses the hell outta the kids if they're there :lol2:
Hell, I cry at everything :undecided: I even cry at them make over programs cos I'm so happy for them at the end of it! :roll: :lol:
Can't remember the last film I watched and still had my make-up in tact by the end of it :roll:
I really do cry at so much, I can't help it. Would love to have a bit more control over it, cos for the amount of times it's an ok expression, there's an equal amount of times it's a really inappropriate thing to do :?

14 Apr 2007

Quote by Missy
Can't remember the last film I watched and still had my make-up in tact by the end of it

I know what you mean. I watched Philadelphia the other week and the part where he's playing Maria Callas, I blubbed like a baby :cry:

14 Apr 2007

Quote by blueandpink

My daughter has not seen me cry, she doesn't need to.

I totally disagree with this one Mar. I think it is good for kids to see us cry (at appropriate times obviously), they need to see we have emotion and that things make us happy or sad (I cry for both reasons).

That's fine if you want to disagree, but you don't know what my daughter's been through herself, we've had a major family split and I'm having to be strong for her. I didn't think I had to explain when I put that tho... maybe I'm trying to be too strong?

14 Apr 2007

My daughter has not seen me cry, she doesn't need to.

I totally disagree with this one Mar. I think it is good for kids to see us cry (at appropriate times obviously), they need to see we have emotion and that things make us happy or sad (I cry for both reasons).

That's fine if you want to disagree, but you don't know what my daughter's been through herself, we've had a major family split and I'm having to be strong for her. I didn't think I had to explain when I put that tho... maybe I'm trying to be too strong?
Hey Mar, not knocking you, kiss

believe me, we all deal with things in our own ways, maybe I phrased it a little too strongly, I just meant that so many people seem to think that showing your emotions is a sign of not being strong which I disagree with. I agree howling and wailing in front of children would be unsettling for them as would any extreme emotion being shown, but there are degrees of emotions and I don't think it's always wise to hide some surface feelings from them. There's no shame in showing you're a human being who gets affected by circumstances and let's face it we all have them in our lives however horrible they may be to deal with. Personally I think it will make our children more empathetic and kinder adults and maybe more able to deal with situations in their adult lives?
pink x

15 Apr 2007

My sisters and I had a difficult childhood, and now we are grown up, we find it very hard to let any tears out. With me, it comes from a "everything is ok, whatever is happening" driver.
Reading this thread and writing my post, has made me quite emotional, strange, huh.

15 Apr 2007

Quote by blueandpink

My daughter has not seen me cry, she doesn't need to.

I totally disagree with this one Mar. I think it is good for kids to see us cry (at appropriate times obviously), they need to see we have emotion and that things make us happy or sad (I cry for both reasons).

That's fine if you want to disagree, but you don't know what my daughter's been through herself, we've had a major family split and I'm having to be strong for her. I didn't think I had to explain when I put that tho... maybe I'm trying to be too strong?
Hey Mar, not knocking you, kiss

believe me, we all deal with things in our own ways, maybe I phrased it a little too strongly, I just meant that so many people seem to think that showing your emotions is a sign of not being strong which I disagree with. I agree howling and wailing in front of children would be unsettling for them as would any extreme emotion being shown, but there are degrees of emotions and I don't think it's always wise to hide some surface feelings from them. There's no shame in showing you're a human being who gets affected by circumstances and let's face it we all have them in our lives however horrible they may be to deal with. Personally I think it will make our children more empathetic and kinder adults and maybe more able to deal with situations in their adult lives?
pink x
I do agree with that :kiss:

16 Apr 2007

I haven't had a good cry for a few years now. I'd actually like to have the opportunity again. I will I know, at some point. But its something you do forget about for a while and then begin to miss, oddly enough. :cry:

16 Apr 2007

I haven't had a good cry for a few years now. I'd actually like to have the opportunity again. I will I know, at some point. But its something you do forget about for a while and then begin to miss, oddly enough. :cry:

I know what you mean Duncan, a real good cry (as opposed to sniffling over a film/advert) for a real reason I find very cathartic. On the occasion it happens I just let myself go and bring the emotion to the surface, this tends to me on my own or with Blue holding me.
pink x
and Mar kiss