Browsing through the adds section, I have noticed a rash of add from men asking for men to take their wives without prior knowlege, and I wonder what the ladies of the forum think of this?
From my own persective, as a twice married man who has great respect for women, I can't help but see the dangers in such an action by someone's husband, and wonder if their relationship is likely to suffer?
My questions to you ladies are these:
If, without your knowlege, your husband/partner arranged for an unknown man to chat you up, and then offered this man the opportunity to have sex with you, on the strength of a fantasy that the two of you have had in bed, would you be happy to go along with your partners wishes because it would please him, or would you be offended that he hadn't discussed the idea with you first?
Secondly, do you think it would damage your relationship if you realised during the evening what your husband had set up without telling you, and would you be offended that he had advertised your willingness to have sex with a perfect stranger, without either discussing it with you or showing you the advert before it was posted?
I appreciated I may be a little old fashioned, or even out of touch by being divorced for some years, but I would appreciate a womans point of view on this subject.
Keith3006
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To Know or not to know?
My gut feeling is that I think it is wrong - totally wrong.
But ..........
I think it would depend on just how far and deep the discussions had been between the couple and also how much trust and respect there was and just how much the female partner wanted this type of encounter.
It's not something I would be party to but that is me - not anyone else.
I do wonder though how many men SAY that it is the woman's fantasy when really it is theirs or where for the woman it is fantasy only and where they would never want it to be physicalised.
Hugs, Alex x
But ..........
I think it would depend on just how far and deep the discussions had been between the couple and also how much trust and respect there was and just how much the female partner wanted this type of encounter.
It's not something I would be party to but that is me - not anyone else.
I do wonder though how many men SAY that it is the woman's fantasy when really it is theirs or where for the woman it is fantasy only and where they would never want it to be physicalised.
Hugs, Alex x
Hi Keith, several people here (including me) have written before of their concerns about those type of ads, and mods have pointed out that they could contravene the AUP first paragraph:
(my italics)
So any such ad should be pointed out to the mods who will decide whether it contravenes the AUP. Of course, as alex points out, there can be scenarios where the people concerned know each other well, and can have talked everything through beforehand.
Mike.
Anything illegal, including (but not limited to!) the promotion, suggestion or allusion to , or any non consensual acts.
(my italics)
So any such ad should be pointed out to the mods who will decide whether it contravenes the AUP. Of course, as alex points out, there can be scenarios where the people concerned know each other well, and can have talked everything through beforehand.
Mike.
Thank you Alex and Mike,
It nice to see a male and female point of view.
It does concern me from a morality point of view, that any man could simply advertise his wife without her knowlege, as in a couple of adds on show today.
Surely, if a couple have had even a deep and meaningful conversation about bringing someone else into their relashionship, the male would have the confidence to discuss his ideas with his partner?
Here is a true scenario for you.
A few weeks ago, I recieved an e-mail in responce to my add, and direct telephone contact was made the following day. Abreviated, the conversation was as follows.
Man. "I want to set up a meet with you, my wife, and me, but she doeasn't know anything about it.
Me. "You haven't discussed it with her?"
Man. "No. It's a surprise. We have talked about often enough, and fantasised what it would be like to have a 3sum, and I think it would be a great surprise for her. I will give you all the gen about her, so you will know how to get her turned on, and then I'll invite you back to our place because we're all getting along so well."
Me. "Are you sure it is what your wife will want?"
Man. "That will be your job once we're back at our place."
Me. "Convincing her that a 3sum is a good idea?"
Man. "No I can tell her that, once you've got into her knickers."
Me. "I think it would be better if you discuss the idea fully with your wife first, and then if she agrees, place a joint advert as king for a man to join you, as I prefer to be able to talk openly and discuss honestly with people I meet, and besides, a mfm should be focused on the ladies pleasure, not you fulfilling your fantasy to the exclusion of all else. Good-bye."
Susquently, I discovered that the lady in question discovered her husbands little scheme (because he again rang me to let me know), and she blew her top, haistily packed a bag and left for a day or two. On returning, she cleared his computer of all references to swinging and explained that her fantasies are just that, and will remain so.
All because the man was stupid enough to think, instead of talk, to his partner!
It nice to see a male and female point of view.
It does concern me from a morality point of view, that any man could simply advertise his wife without her knowlege, as in a couple of adds on show today.
Surely, if a couple have had even a deep and meaningful conversation about bringing someone else into their relashionship, the male would have the confidence to discuss his ideas with his partner?
Here is a true scenario for you.
A few weeks ago, I recieved an e-mail in responce to my add, and direct telephone contact was made the following day. Abreviated, the conversation was as follows.
Man. "I want to set up a meet with you, my wife, and me, but she doeasn't know anything about it.
Me. "You haven't discussed it with her?"
Man. "No. It's a surprise. We have talked about often enough, and fantasised what it would be like to have a 3sum, and I think it would be a great surprise for her. I will give you all the gen about her, so you will know how to get her turned on, and then I'll invite you back to our place because we're all getting along so well."
Me. "Are you sure it is what your wife will want?"
Man. "That will be your job once we're back at our place."
Me. "Convincing her that a 3sum is a good idea?"
Man. "No I can tell her that, once you've got into her knickers."
Me. "I think it would be better if you discuss the idea fully with your wife first, and then if she agrees, place a joint advert as king for a man to join you, as I prefer to be able to talk openly and discuss honestly with people I meet, and besides, a mfm should be focused on the ladies pleasure, not you fulfilling your fantasy to the exclusion of all else. Good-bye."
Susquently, I discovered that the lady in question discovered her husbands little scheme (because he again rang me to let me know), and she blew her top, haistily packed a bag and left for a day or two. On returning, she cleared his computer of all references to swinging and explained that her fantasies are just that, and will remain so.
All because the man was stupid enough to think, instead of talk, to his partner!
I have to say that I agree with everything that has been written here. Any threesome MUST be between three consenting adults, not two.
As a Mod I would have no hesitation in banning anyone that advertised for non consensual sex with his wife. As Mike says, if you see any ad that leaves you in doubt then let us know and we will investigate.
As a Mod I would have no hesitation in banning anyone that advertised for non consensual sex with his wife. As Mike says, if you see any ad that leaves you in doubt then let us know and we will investigate.
Quote by Sgt Bilko
I have to say that I agree with everything that has been written here. Any threesome MUST be between three consenting adults, not two.
As a Mod I would have no hesitation in banning anyone that advertised for non consensual sex with his wife. As Mike says, if you see any ad that leaves you in doubt then let us know and we will investigate.
Thanks Sarg, I'll keep it in mind, next time I come across one.
Keith, you were dead right to back out of the scenario which the bloke was trying to set up
I know, and I wouldn't have even recommended them to someone else!
Serriously, I seemed a little fishy from the outset, as he quoted from my original ad, posted nearly six months ago. It's just a good thing I'm not one these desperate types, who might not have been willing to take no for an answer, once back at their place.
At least age and experience might count for something?
Keith
I know, and I wouldn't have even recommended them to someone else!
Serriously, I seemed a little fishy from the outset, as he quoted from my original ad, posted nearly six months ago. It's just a good thing I'm not one these desperate types, who might not have been willing to take no for an answer, once back at their place.
At least age and experience might count for something?
Keith
Sex God
Any ad that implies any form of non consent gets banned...... simple as 
To answer the original question from a personal (not a moderator's) point of view......
I would blow my top if someone tried to arrange a meet for me without my knowledge. Neither would I attempt to set anyone else up in this way. It is not swinging, it is betraying someone's trust.
OK, you might get a sub/dom scenario where one partner wants to be so submissive that they want to be "forced" to take on all comers, but that would have to be made clear from the outset for all parties concerned - certainly not what is described above :x
To answer the original question from a personal (not a moderator's) point of view......
I would blow my top if someone tried to arrange a meet for me without my knowledge. Neither would I attempt to set anyone else up in this way. It is not swinging, it is betraying someone's trust.
OK, you might get a sub/dom scenario where one partner wants to be so submissive that they want to be "forced" to take on all comers, but that would have to be made clear from the outset for all parties concerned - certainly not what is described above :x
Thanks Blue,
I wasn't going to start this thread, but I felt quite sickened to spot some of the adds today from guys almost bragging that their wives knew nothing about the advert, and I was simply trying to assertain other peoples thoughts, especially women, and from a cross section of the forum members.
It hardly surprises me that no-one has said that they would support their husbands/partners in such a surprise, but I should imagine if I waited long enough there would be the odd one.
Still, that's life I suppose, and it takes all sorts to make up even Swinging Heaven
:
Catch you again, when you've calmed down with a nice bowl of soup.
Keith
I wasn't going to start this thread, but I felt quite sickened to spot some of the adds today from guys almost bragging that their wives knew nothing about the advert, and I was simply trying to assertain other peoples thoughts, especially women, and from a cross section of the forum members.
It hardly surprises me that no-one has said that they would support their husbands/partners in such a surprise, but I should imagine if I waited long enough there would be the odd one.
Still, that's life I suppose, and it takes all sorts to make up even Swinging Heaven
: Catch you again, when you've calmed down with a nice bowl of soup.
Keith
