To Shy or Not to Shy

15 Aug 2005

Quote by wrinkledprune
i've also got to agree here, i am far more comfortable flirting with a healthy layer of internet inbetween me and a potential slap in the face... out in the real world i am far more restrained until i know people, and yes i also find that a little alcohol lubricates the conversation, but its a double edged sword. no good thinking you are being witty charming and amusing when you are really just acting like a complete tit. as people are saying practice is the way forward, you have to be more comfortable with yourself, and if you go somewhere regularily having a rapport with staff, and other people certainly helps you feel more secure and confident.
anyway enough of my ramblings, i'm off to cower behind a bottle of miller

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
Cracking post!
I think most people must be shy when it comes to asking someone to play - most of the time for me things are just a natural progression. Body language plays a huge part for me, all unspoken but can say volumes. I have to be able to guage how the other person is feeling, and vice versa, that comes through body language mainly. If I feel comfortable and body language is coming across positive, then I would probably step it up a notch if they haven't, a little touch on the arm, knee, shoulder etc, just a friendly gesture. You can see how they react from that.... if there is no reaction, then I back off imediately and take it back to a social interraction, same thing if the other person steps back a bit. But if they move slightly closer, or lean into the touch then........ cool

If someone just approached and asked if I wanted a shag ....... well I would probably just burst out laughing confused

Then go bright red, then stutter, then feel really embarrassed. Followed by trying to get out the situation/conversation as quick as possible :?
I'm just saying the only real scenario I know, the progression from the social to the sexual. Other scenarios I'm not so sure of dunno

15 Aug 2005

For sure, being yourself is the only way ...
So if you're stuck for words because you're really shy, maybe that's exactly what you should say - 'Look, I'm really shy, and I don't know how to say this, but .....'
A little shyness can be kinda cute ;)
/The Lovely One straddles her saddle and cycles off...

15 Aug 2005

This is all so true and is of great help to a newbie like me, I find it easier to talk, chat or flirt with someone given the benefit of Chatrooms/Forums/MSN or text. It's even easier to talk over the phone.
I agree once you are face to face with someone it's so much more difficult partly due to the fact that you can see the other persons reaction to anything and everything you say and do. When hiding behind the mask of anonimity in whatever form you have a confidence or bravado which allows you to say things that you might feel uncomfortable saying face to face.
I've been texting someone today and the conversation got near to the knuckle on more than one occasion but we were sat in the same room 2-3 hours before that and could hardly say a word to each other.
I'd love to find a cure for this problem too

15 Aug 2005

OH and an addition to my post up there which I forgot about....
If someone tries to force out positive body language ........ dont you just hate it when you end up doing that stupid bluddy dance round a room.... step back to get your space, they step straight back in it, step back, step in, step back, step in - even worse if you've forgotten to pick yer drink up before the silly dance began and you're already halfway across the room!! evil

And no :lol2: I've not done a course on body language, although I do find it fascinating, extremely fascinating biggrin

15 Aug 2005

Mikec you are doing just fine, :P
Just take time and enjoy yourself and things will happen lol

15 Aug 2005

Why don't you issue everyone with a hat built like a Taxi sign when they enter the Munch - then if one of you "fancies it" you can turn the "I'm up for it!" light on, and the other one could either turn on "I'm up for it too!" or the "Off Duty" option.
That would be a whole lot simpler, wouldn't it?

15 Aug 2005

only thing you can do is follow your intuition and respect people. if its meant to be it just falls into place. its always good to pay a compliment and if you get a big smile in return thats a good start.

15 Aug 2005

Quote by MISSCHIEF
OH and an addition to my post up there which I forgot about....
If someone tries to force out positive body language ........ dont you just hate it when you end up doing that stupid bluddy dance round a room.... step back to get your space, they step straight back in it, step back, step in, step back, step in - even worse if you've forgotten to pick yer drink up before the silly dance began and you're already halfway across the room!!

Shit - that's how I do the Tango!! redface

ops: I wondered why the woman I last tried it with kept on trying to pick up her drink as she went past.