Ok… I’m totally new to the scene, & still undecided as to whether to jump in or not. I’m 27 & have recently separated from my wife. I never cheated on her this has been out of respect. Morally I can’t see any problem with swinging provided every one agrees. Which is the whole point. Anyway I`m drifting….. I sill live with her & our children & can’t see this changing in the near future. So getting into a relationship is out of the question.
I met my wife @ 19 and have never been good @ pulling girls for a one night stand.
As a result it’s been quite a while for me & if things carry on it will be more. Swinging is appealing to me for many reasons. It would probably make me more confident & I would learn allot about other people, & it just sounds fun. I am worried that I may be getting into this for the wrong reasons though & mentally I`m not repaired to deal with it.
Id like some advice & maybe hear about how a few of you got started. What I need to know is this the right thing for me.
Thanks in advance.
Zakalwe.
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To Swing or not to swing
Sounds like you have come to a good arrangement and obviously want to keep it that way for the kids sake. You both presumably have the same dilemma and need to get out and about talking to people. You want to be able to do it with decorum and without rubbing each others' faces in it.
There's so many options but I wonder, is discussing it with her an possibility? It would give you the comfort of a friendship support zone which would be nice. I know one divorced couple that go speeddating together! Swinging is a bigger deal for most folk, but if you stuck to clubs you would not have the awkwardness of maybe not wanting to bring partners home. Maybe she might like the idea too if you approached it carefully.
There's a time an a place to raise the question of new partners with old ones, whether they are swinging partners or not. Thinking about how much information they want, presenting new partners in a way that is respectful to your old partner (in this case your wife). Ideally you want to cement a new friendship (ie your wife). Thinking about how you would like that info presented to you may help. Much care hopefully will pay off.
The other problem some folk have coming out of a divorce or long term relationship is actually talking to new people. You have to get back into the swing of flirting, chatting, not being too needy etc. I don't think swinging is an answer to any problem, but once you feel you have sorted out any problem areas you might want to weigh up whether it's a lifestyle you want to try (you may find it is very different to any preconceived ideas - most people do I think).
Best wishes, whatever you decide
Chris
There's so many options but I wonder, is discussing it with her an possibility? It would give you the comfort of a friendship support zone which would be nice. I know one divorced couple that go speeddating together! Swinging is a bigger deal for most folk, but if you stuck to clubs you would not have the awkwardness of maybe not wanting to bring partners home. Maybe she might like the idea too if you approached it carefully.
There's a time an a place to raise the question of new partners with old ones, whether they are swinging partners or not. Thinking about how much information they want, presenting new partners in a way that is respectful to your old partner (in this case your wife). Ideally you want to cement a new friendship (ie your wife). Thinking about how you would like that info presented to you may help. Much care hopefully will pay off.
The other problem some folk have coming out of a divorce or long term relationship is actually talking to new people. You have to get back into the swing of flirting, chatting, not being too needy etc. I don't think swinging is an answer to any problem, but once you feel you have sorted out any problem areas you might want to weigh up whether it's a lifestyle you want to try (you may find it is very different to any preconceived ideas - most people do I think).
Best wishes, whatever you decide
Chris
