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Tolerance

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Firelizard
Sex God
Quote by PoloLady
Rather than asking are we… I think a more pertinent question is should we be?
I for one am happy to demonstrate occasional snippets of intolerance towards bollocks, bullshit, lies and hypocrisy.
I rarely feel guilty for sometimes lacking the patience to be more tolerant of blatant closed-minded ignorance and arrogance.
I am proud to throw tolerance out of the window on occasions, when people send PM’s demonstrating their total disregard to whatever I have written in my profile and ads. The people who think that just because they send a distorted photo of their penis/kebab, inform me they will be at a hotel in my area on whatever night it is and expect that to be enough to make me want to turn up and fuck them silly – why should I be tolerant of them? May be my intolerance will make them stop and think before they send the same message to others who would also not welcome it.

:thumbup:
neilinleeds
Sex God
Quote by PoloLady
I am proud to throw tolerance out of the window on occasions, when people send PM’s demonstrating their total disregard to whatever I have written in my profile and ads. The people who think that just because they send a distorted photo of their penis/kebab, inform me they will be at a hotel in my area on whatever night it is and expect that to be enough to make me want to turn up and fuck them silly – why should I be tolerant of them?

kind of agreed, but we know that very many people ignore the twats who pop up in their PM box, and yet, on the forum, their powers of restraint / indifference is not so evident? i.e. they tend not to ignore them quite so readily on the forum?
Quote by Pololady
May be my intolerance will make them stop and think before they send the same message to others who would also not welcome it.

i suspect not. i suspect they will simply avoid rubbing you up the wrong way, and continue with their strategies in someone elses box. i don't think it's particularly instructive or behaviour changing generally speaking? confused
Quote by Stormwalker
However,
I have also witnessed indifference, arrogance, hostility, bullying, backbiting, thinly disguised threats etc, which lead me to believe that swingers are no more tolerant or forgiving than any other group of people.

you've seen all that too? thought it was just me being oversensitive? :? ;)
Quote by SexySara
Instead, over the time I've been using these forums, I've seen almost personal vendettas against people purely because they haven't 'fit in' with the main crowd.
Everyone in entitled to their own views and opinions I know, but I have seen a few people who seem notorious for slating and back-biting, and I for one have ended up biting my tongue on occasions so I don't get said back-lash.

oh . . . you've spotted it too? thought it was just me being oversensitive? lol ;)
there is NO doubt, IMHO, that some people ((( and i believe it is a small number. ))) delight in it. i do however believe it is not quite sao evident these days? dunno
However, that said, I do believe in the main that these forums are generally a good place to be (well, I'm still here aren't I?), I've been reduced to tears from laughing so much on many many occasions and felt sympathy for others when things aren't so good for them. It's a bit like an extended family where we all have something in common which ordinarily sets us apart from the rest of the world for one reason at least, yet in our little corner, you are bound to get diversity and it's a simple fact that not everyone will get on with everyone else.
Ok, nuff said, just don't shoot me down in flames!!! redface

no flames here. seemed kinda spot on to me?
ignore it, or be constructive! IMO, everything else is kinda leading someone down a road till they have nowhere left to turn when you pull the trigger, and point scoring. there are ways and means. being protective of the site is all well and good, but i believe that the best way to do that is through positive action. those who don't quite get it will generally bugger off of their own accord when the site fails for them through them being completely ignored. they might well help close the door behind them on the way out with a rant. usually needs no help from anyone? :? the kind of people we maybe wouldn't want here ((( very VERY subjective matter of opinion? :/ ))) are often quite adept at tying their own nooses with no help from anyone? positive means are generally the best ones.
neil x x x ;)
Unknown User
Quote by neilinleeds
the kind of people we maybe wouldn't want here ((( very VERY subjective matter of opinion? :/ ))) are often quite adept at tying their own nooses with no help from anyone? positive means are generally the best ones.
neil x x x ;)

I've been welcomed to the site with some pms from very long standing and popular people on SH today. I don't name drop, but I know that I'm very happy right now...this is to you, you know who you are!
passionkiss
It was really lovely to hear from you!! biggrin
Neil, you may or may not be right about the site generally, but I can agree that there are some lovely people on SH. :D
Today's been a great day for me for lot's of reasons and I'm inclined to believe that every now and then good people definitely do get a break in life.
**********************************************************************************************
Is this the prevailing wind on the site, however, or more interestingly in the real world...
I offer you this depressing thought on this day that's been so good to me:
How many Jews were killed before Hitler tied his 'own noose'? Millions of ordinary, otherwise reasonable people, no worse than most anywhere in the world, were brain washed by that man, they all thought they were thinking, tolerant people!
Yes, bullies can and do fall, but sometimes the innocent fall first.
This is a comment about life and not anyone or anywhere particular!
Holly
little__gem
Sex God
One of the most intollerant, bigotted and predjudiced people I knew lived and came from a segregated, marginalised and ridculed fringe society group. You'd think that having put up with the abuse and horrid behaviour of others that they would exhibit greater levels of tollerance and understanding towards others... this simply was not the case.
Should I put up with constant bad behaviour from people in the name of being tollerant?
No.
Cos thats folk taking the piss and walking over me which won't be tollerated unless I love them to bits and even then, there is a limit.
In the swinging scene, people who can't be bothered to read the info on my profile will be directed there for a read, if they still can't be bothered... I'm going to take some of my precious time, effort and energy to type something theyre not going to take any note of anyway cos it doesnt have the words... I will shag you... anywhere to be seen.
I'm going to give them a bit of constructive advice that I waste my time typing? and they'll reward me with the reply... fuck off fat bitch, never wanted to shag you anyway! confused rolleyes
Yeah... as if.
A simple thanks but no thanks is more than enough in some cases.
The big key to it all is Respect. Treat others the way you'd like to be treated and I don't think you can go far wrong most of the time. smile
Anyway, who mentioned the dodgy german tash man? :shock:
neilinleeds
Sex God
Quote by loveh4s
the kind of people we maybe wouldn't want here ((( very VERY subjective matter of opinion? :/ ))) are often quite adept at tying their own nooses with no help from anyone? positive means are generally the best ones.
neil x x x ;)

I've been welcomed on the site with some pms from very long standing and popular people on the site today. I don't name drop, but I know that I'm very happy right now...this is to you, you know who you are!
which is how it should be. positive reinforcement. and no, that's not so cynical as it might read in a "i quite like this person, i'll try and encourage them to stay" kinda way? people who are good for us personally are not necessarily good for the site. those we dislike are not necessarily bad for the site. hopefully, people will be dealt with in the positive way you've experienced. if you ignore everyone else, they will take that as a negative response, so no further negative response is necessary. your ignoring of them is negative enough, and taken personally without being personal. ;)
Quote by MyOtherHalf
In the swinging scene, people who can't be bothered to read the info on my profile will be directed there for a read, if they still can't be bothered... I'm going to take some of my precious time, effort and energy to type something theyre not going to take any note of

that seems to me to be a fairly persuasive argument for "ignore the twats?"
Quote by MyOtherHalf
I'm going to give them a bit of constructive advice that I waste my time typing?

that seems to me to be a fairly persuasive argument for "ignore the twats?"
Quote by MyOtherHalf
and they'll reward me with the reply... fuck off fat bitch, never wanted to shag you anyway!

that seems to me to be a fairly persuasive argument for "ignore the twats?"
;)
:P
lets face it . . . you slag off some ((( subjectively assumed to be / identified ))) twat? their most likely response is "well fuck you you fat / frigid / lesbian / c**t, you dunno what you're missing you fat / frigid / lesbian / c**t, your loss you fat / frigid / lesbian / c**t"
((( NiL apologises for the above use of language. OTT, but you get my point? confused )))
counter productive, and not at all instructive or behaviour changing? i suspect they'll simply try to find someone who is not a fat / frigid / lesbian / c**t:?
((( NiL apologises again for use of language. )))
Quote by MyOtherHalf
Anyway, who mentioned the dodgy german tash man?

OMG gem we were trying to ignore Godwins Law, but now you mentioned it, i'm reliably informed it should only be invoked if the H word was involved in an "Ad Hominem" attack? :? i have no idea what that means ((( it comes up on CiF from time to time? dunno ))) but apparently we might have skipped aside a lock? :P unless i call you a nazi that is? ;)
neil x x x ;)
little__gem
Sex God
I've found ignoring people in the scene simply makes things worse in a lot of cases and a simple thanks but no thanks solves a lot of hassle on my part and on their part too where PM is concerned.
I feel this should extend to locking threads where the mod locks it and then says in an edit or a post why... ie; Jags... I'm locking this til morning cos its getting heated, calm down and it'll be stay open. I'm glad on the most part this happens. How simple and yet how effective. No additional thread saying why've you locked the thread? Whaaaaah.... Complain complain complain!
Everything is then clear, no games, no messing about and no wondering. If you're texting someone for weeks on end with no reply... maybe get the hint and fluck off... but if its a simple pm or posting mistake then a simple reply I've seen to be the best option. :P
I wouldn't like to be kept on an ingnored shoe string for weeks wondering if the message was sent or not, wondering what I was doing wrong, so treating people how you'd like to be treated comes in there. Constructive stuff is going to be more beneficial than trolling and baiting.
Ok, on the boards... walking away is the best course of action a lot of the time.
kiss
Gem. x
neilinleeds
Sex God
So what's your experience with all the many unwanted PMs you get Neil??? Hmmm

you need to ask? see previous examples of unwanted phone calls, and strategies used to put them to an end? :P kiss ;)
i'm saying . . . . . collectively . . . . the best approach is to invite no response whatsoever, by completely ignoring them. ((( and i'm talking about previous comments from other users about responses on the forum, not to random PMs, wehich i thought i'd made clear? confused ))) but anyways, gem? the twats in your PM box usually give up fairly quickly, albeit with a fairly venomous "fuck you bitch" as a parting shot?
it's a kind of behaviour fairly familiar to forum users, and the mods who lock the door behind them? ;)
:kiss:
neil x x x ;)
Unknown User
Quote by Stormwalker
I have also witnessed indifference, arrogance, hostility, bullying, backbiting, thinly disguised threats etc, which lead me to believe that swingers are no more tolerant or forgiving than any other group of people.
So, my question is, are swingers really the tolerant open minded forgiving folk they say they are, or do they just think they are?
My view, people are people, being a swinger doesn’t make you any more likely to be tolerant than anyone else.

stormy... i think your quite right there.. in principle.........
however i im not sure as to how malicious they have actually really been overall.
sure, sometimes people get a little hot under the collar... but im not sure that people dont actually read more into whats said......or make more of an issue than they should.
little__gem
Sex God
Ok, having read the thread back at less of a lightening speed... the topic is not about PMs it's about how people behave on the forums with each other.
Some of the stuff is light hearted banter and harmless fun, where mostly the posters know each other and so stop before it gets hurtful. Other times it can come across as downright rude, ignorant and hurting someone's feelings for the sake of it cos their face might not fit right at that moment in time.
But, the idiots either get banned or leave cos theyre being ignorred, the attention seekers tend to leave of their own accord in the end if they don't get the attention and the downright trolls... well...
Unknown User
I shall take my online life in my hands and post my first post
I looked up the definition of tplerance which is ....
"showing respect for the rights or opinions or practices of others "
based on that I'd say the genuine Swingers here are more tolerant in the sexual practices area.....
....But this should not to be confused with with their morality or tolerance outside this area which I would expect to be broadly in line with the normal spread of viewpoints.
That's my observation
interesting thread Storm
biggrin
Unknown User
Quote by little gem
The big key to it all is Respect. Treat others the way you'd like to be treated and I don't think you can go far wrong most of the time. smile
Anyway, who mentioned the dodgy german tash man? :shock:

I'm not suggesting that SH is anything like Hitler's Germany, rather using it as a metaphor to demonstrate how occasionally there will be pockets in any civilisation or community where a mob rule can develop and I was trying to relate this to the real world. Of course large scale bad things are not reflective of everywhere in the world or any one place all the time, but for people that may be suffering in different parts of the world, the fact that lots of people elsewhere think this is wrong may not help them at the time.
There are lots of lovely people in the forums who behave very well and give it the feel that so many love, but on occasions there may be individuals that feel like they're suffering from a mob mentality and these people won't always deserve it.
Two years ago I was yelled abuse at by a stranger on a train because she took offence at my quietly reading in a corner. I went into childhood mode and tried to make my self invisible. She shut up only when an older lady sitting next to me finally plucked up courage and told her to be quiet.
Sometimes if you're the kind of person that likes to live a quiet life a stay away from the horrors of the world and just focus on your own things, it feels like those horrors track you down... The fact that you have good friends that value you gets you through, but it doesn't stop you wondering when the next bored person is going to hop onto your carriage and abuse you.
This is an interesting thread because it's very provocative and it's on a subject that has no real answers. Good and bad experiences are part of life and you don't know the right answers every time.
Discussing should we be tolerant and are we tolerant does cause trouble and this is a good thing. Sometimes we shouldn't be tolerant and sometimes we should, but everyone should think about it from all angles once in a while.
Holly
x
Unknown User
Quote by DeeCee
stormy... i think your quite right there.. in principle.........
however i im not sure as to how malicious they have actually really been overall.
sure, sometimes people get a little hot under the collar... but im not sure that people dont actually read more into whats said......or make more of an issue than they should.

This is also very true. biggrin
Holly
x
duncanlondon
Sex God
I think that tolerance levels are probably equivalent to anywhere else in life. What the forum contributors are good at is having experience and being able to hold more developed conversations about many aspects of life. However its no guarantee that we are completely tolerant of everything and everybody. I have prejudices and insitincts which I know help me out of danger and in making better decisions about situations. So I use those if needed.
There are many cases where argumentative feuds still linger. These occur in the classic debates about cheating and barebacking, timewasters etc So its the agree to disagree principle at work.
Then again, people may hold a very reasoned debate on various issues yet one gets the feeling that people are saying, 'yeah I'm cool about all that, but not in my back yard matey'.
So is it tolerance or practised indifference?
tmann
Sex God
Tolerance.
Just because we are tolerant of others opinions does not mean that we do not have our own which we express. The test of tolerance is not do we express our own belief, but do we suppress the belief of others. I know of no swinger who has shot a vanilla or anyone else over his beliefs.
Tarvis.
Unknown User
Quote by neilinleeds
May be my intolerance will make them stop and think before they send the same message to others who would also not welcome it.

i suspect not. i suspect they will simply avoid rubbing you up the wrong way, and continue with their strategies in someone elses box. i don't think it's particularly instructive or behaviour changing generally speaking? confused

You have no idea just how instructive my intolerant replies can be wink lol
Unknown User
Quote by
Tolerance.
Just because we are tolerant of others opinions does not mean that we do not have our own which we express. The test of tolerance is not do we express our own belief, but do we suppress the belief of others. I know of no swinger who has shot a vanilla or anyone else over his beliefs.
Tarvis.

Good point.
I hope I've never met anyone that would shoot someone else! :dry:
But statistically, people are most likely to be murdered by a close friend or relative...
glad few of us have access to dangerous weapons! lol
Least I hope this is the case... :shock: wink
Holly
x
smile
Stormwalker
Sex God
Quote by
Tolerance.
Just because we are tolerant of others opinions does not mean that we do not have our own which we express. The test of tolerance is not do we express our own belief, but do we suppress the belief of others. I know of no swinger who has shot a vanilla or anyone else over his beliefs.
Tarvis.

Yet we can suppress the beliefs of others in so many ways, shooting is perhaps one of the more extreme. smile
Stormwalker
Sex God
Quote by kfn1778
I shall take my online life in my hands and post my first post
I looked up the definition of tplerance which is ....
"showing respect for the rights or opinions or practices of others "
based on that I'd say the genuine Swingers here are more tolerant in the sexual practices area.....
....But this should not to be confused with with their morality or tolerance outside this area which I would expect to be broadly in line with the normal spread of viewpoints.
That's my observation
interesting thread Storm
biggrin

Welcome to the forum kfn1778 nice first post... :thumbup:
bluexxx
Sex God
Quote by loveh4s
Two years ago I was yelled abuse at by a stranger on a train because she took offence at my quietly reading in a corner.

Five years ago a complete stranger threw a punch at me cos I was quietly reading on a train. But he picked on the wrong person. I caught the punch, put him in a shoulder arm lock, carried him back to his seat, sat him down and put a bar choke on his neck until he calmed down. He did calm down.... when he realised that if he didn't calm down he would pass out.
Anyways..... tolerance.... As in life there are people on these forums who are extremely tolerant of other people's sexual difference. These people accept different opinions, lifestyle choices and are willing to learn more about types of lifestyle they don't understand or have never come across before. I say "as in life" cos I have met many non swingers who are open to learning about sexual difference even though they have no intend to swing themselves.
But I have also met many people around these parts who are extremely intolerant, to the point where I wish they would throw that punch, like the man on the train.............. mad
If we are talking about tolerance of issues not related to sex I would say that swingers are no more tolerant than anyone else... why should they be?
I guess it comes down to experience, education -- or rather the willingness to be educated -- and respect...
Trouble is, some people are unwilling to learn despite life experience, they are unwilling to compromise and they lack respect. Very sad to see it in the swinging community... amongst people who should know better. But intolerance is there, Believe me, it is there!!!!
confused
tmann
Sex God
Quote by loveh4s
Tolerance.
Just because we are tolerant of others opinions does not mean that we do not have our own which we express. The test of tolerance is not do we express our own belief, but do we suppress the belief of others. I know of no swinger who has shot a vanilla or anyone else over his beliefs.
Tarvis.

Good point.
I hope I've never met anyone that would shoot someone else! :dry:
But statistically, people are most likely to be murdered by a close friend or relative...
glad few of us have access to dangerous weapons! lol
Least I hope this is the case... :shock: wink
Holly
x
smile My weapon is test regularly and certified safe.
Unknown User
Quote by
Tolerance.
Just because we are tolerant of others opinions does not mean that we do not have our own which we express. The test of tolerance is not do we express our own belief, but do we suppress the belief of others. I know of no swinger who has shot a vanilla or anyone else over his beliefs.
Tarvis.

Good point.
I hope I've never met anyone that would shoot someone else! :dry:
But statistically, people are most likely to be murdered by a close friend or relative...
glad few of us have access to dangerous weapons! lol
Least I hope this is the case... :shock: wink
Holly
x
smile My weapon is test regularly and certified safe.
I don't know which of the many possible lighter or darker meanings to attach to this, though I can see that my attempt at humour has not lightened the mood generally. Note to self: don't try to be funny unless it just happens naturally. rolleyes
Unknown User
Quote by loveh4s
Tolerance.
Just because we are tolerant of others opinions does not mean that we do not have our own which we express. The test of tolerance is not do we express our own belief, but do we suppress the belief of others. I know of no swinger who has shot a vanilla or anyone else over his beliefs.
Tarvis.

Good point.
I hope I've never met anyone that would shoot someone else! :dry:
But statistically, people are most likely to be murdered by a close friend or relative...
glad few of us have access to dangerous weapons! lol
Least I hope this is the case... :shock: wink
Holly
x
smile My weapon is test regularly and certified safe.
I don't know which of the many possible lighter or darker meanings to attatch to this, though I can see that my attempt at humour has not lightened the mood generally. Note to self: don't try to be funny unless it just happens naturally. rolleyes
mine sometimes seems to have a bit of a "hair" trigger....
Unknown User
Quote by bluexxx
...
Five years ago a complete stranger threw a punch at me cos I was quietly reading on a train. But he picked on the wrong person. I caught the punch, put him in a shoulder arm lock, carried him back to his seat, sat him down and put a bar choke on his neck until he calmed down. He did calm down.... when he realised that if he didn't calm down he would pass out...
But I have also met many people around these parts who are extremely intolerant, to the point where I wish they would throw that punch, like the man on the train.............. mad
...
I guess it comes down to experience, education -- or rather the willingness to be educated -- and respect...
Trouble is, some people are unwilling to learn despite life experience, they are unwilling to compromise and they lack respect...
confused

Respect for other people is about not subjecting them to physical or emotional pain, allowing individuality, diversity and freedom of expression.
It's when people are hurting us and others that we should not tolerate their behavour.
Experience teaches us that we need to react when we are cornered by bullies, but this doesn't mean that we should resort to their violent tactics.
Experience teaches us that the bullies pray on us when we seem vulnerable, but it can't always give us the skills to appear brave and witty and nonchalent.
Knowledge teaches us that if we hide ourslves then we are less likely to find those other tolerant, free thinking individuals that value us. We find good friends when we are brave enough to be ourselves.
Holly
biggrin
Missy
Sex God
Quote by loveh4s
Respect for other people is about not subjecting them to physical or emotional pain, allowing individuality, diversity and freedom of expression.

I do agree to a certain extent - but you've quoted Blues post there. When someones thrown a punch at you for no reason, then no I don't think they should be allowed that kind of individuality, diversity or freedom of expression confused
Quote by loveh4s
It's when people are hurting us and others that we should not tolerate their behavour.

Ooops, wipe out all that I've said up there :lol2: I didn't see this bit when I first read your post. You're right, anti social behaviour shouldn't be tolerated.
Quote by loveh4s
Experience teaches us that we need to react when we are cornered by bullies, but this doesn't mean that we should reasort to their violent tactics.

Oh I dunno, in Blues case - I bet that guy thinks twice about trying to bully others. Even better cos when you look at Blue, you wouldn't think butter would melt in her mouth (providing you ignore the naughty glint in her eyes!! cool ). This guy, probably a typical bully, probably only picks on people he 'knows' he can intimidate - he had a good lesson on judging people there I reckon lol
Quote by loveh4s
Experience teaches us that the bullies pray on us when we seem vulnerable, but it can't always give us the skills to appear brave and witty and nonchalent.

Very true in my experience - Most of us must've been in situations where we've been extremely uncomfortable, even worse if you can't get out of it imediately :?
I would love to be able to act the way Blue did when being confronted - unfortunately I'm more like the proverbial rat up a drainpipe if I think I'm in danger :? I don't have the ability to act the way Blue did, nor the confidence....... I would love to have a stronger nature like that.
Quote by loveh4s
Knowledge teaches us that if we hide ourslves then we are less likely to find those other tolerant, free thinking individuals that value us. We find good friends when we are brave enough to be ourslves.

I dunno about that - when I found this site, I was very hidden, only going out a couple of times a year. Not cos I wanted to be hidden, but circumstances meant I couldn't get out very much (2 young circumstances to be exact :? :lol: :inlove: ). So my first few months on here were very much from within 4 walls.
Gradually tho, through munches and socials, the place opened up a whole new world for me - a whole bunch of great friends :inlove: Something I may not have found, had I not been so hidden, with the time to read up and explore my swinging curiosity via the web biggrin
Which brings me back full circle - I still don't think that swingers are any more tolerant or more free thinking that non swingers. Sexually more liberated, yeh, but that's about it dunno
bluexxx
Sex God
Quote by loveh4s
Experience teaches us that we need to react when we are cornered by bullies, but this doesn't mean that we should reasort to their violent tactics.

Just to clarify, seeing as you quoted my post.............. I was not violent in any way towards the dickhead who very nearly punched me for abolutley no reason other than he did not like me reading on a train. But... I restrained him, so if you think that holding his body in a way in which he could not move is violent, hey whatever.... I restrained him until he was calm... all the time talking to him, telling him to calm down.... Now, if I had not restrained him, what would have happened???? He would certainly have punched me... would have have stopped at one punch? Who knows???
But I tell ya, when I did let go he walked off that train like a little lamb... a reformed character hehehehehehehe
I suppose we can debate all day what the definition of violence is, and how far we should go to defend ourselves. I could have punched the guy back... but I didn't I chose to use "tactics" that I have spent years training to do to AVOID violent confrontation.
More people should learn how to CONTROL those that want to be violent, imo...
Anyways, tolerance..... yeah.... here is a good example cool 8-) 8-)
mr__powers1
Sex God
Quote by bluexxx
Experience teaches us that we need to react when we are cornered by bullies, but this doesn't mean that we should reasort to their violent tactics.

Just to clarify, seeing as you quoted my post.............. I was not violent in any way towards the dickhead who very nearly punched me for abolutley no reason other than he did not like me reading on a train. But... I restrained him, so if you think that holding his body in a way in which he could not move is violent, hey whatever.... I restrained him until he was calm... all the time talking to him, telling him to calm down.... Now, if I had not restrained him, what would have happened???? He would certainly have punched me... would have have stopped at one punch? Who knows???
But I tell ya, when I did let go he walked off that train like a little lamb... a reformed character hehehehehehehe
I suppose we can debate all day what the definition of violence is, and how far we should go to defend ourselves. I could have punched the guy back... but I didn't I chose to use "tactics" that I have spent years training to do to AVOID violent confrontation.
More people should learn how to CONTROL those that want to be violent, imo...
Anyways, tolerance..... yeah.... here is a good example cool 8-) 8-)
well even if you did hit him in self defence Bluexxx i'm sure it would have been a last last resort.....sometimes you can be left with no choice when it comes to your own safety!
bluexxx
Sex God
Quote by da69ve
Experience teaches us that we need to react when we are cornered by bullies, but this doesn't mean that we should reasort to their violent tactics.

Just to clarify, seeing as you quoted my post.............. I was not violent in any way towards the dickhead who very nearly punched me for abolutley no reason other than he did not like me reading on a train. But... I restrained him, so if you think that holding his body in a way in which he could not move is violent, hey whatever.... I restrained him until he was calm... all the time talking to him, telling him to calm down.... Now, if I had not restrained him, what would have happened???? He would certainly have punched me... would have have stopped at one punch? Who knows???
But I tell ya, when I did let go he walked off that train like a little lamb... a reformed character hehehehehehehe
I suppose we can debate all day what the definition of violence is, and how far we should go to defend ourselves. I could have punched the guy back... but I didn't I chose to use "tactics" that I have spent years training to do to AVOID violent confrontation.
More people should learn how to CONTROL those that want to be violent, imo...
Anyways, tolerance..... yeah.... here is a good example cool 8-) 8-)
well even if you did hit him in self defence Bluexxx i'm sure it would have been a last last resort.....sometimes you can be left with no choice when it comes to your own safety!
Thing is, with restraint he couldn't hit me, his arms were errrrrrrrrrrrrrr not working ... lol :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: I guess he could have had another try when I did let him go but I think he had learned his lesson wink
mr__powers1
Sex God
Quote by bluexxx
Experience teaches us that we need to react when we are cornered by bullies, but this doesn't mean that we should reasort to their violent tactics.

Just to clarify, seeing as you quoted my post.............. I was not violent in any way towards the dickhead who very nearly punched me for abolutley no reason other than he did not like me reading on a train. But... I restrained him, so if you think that holding his body in a way in which he could not move is violent, hey whatever.... I restrained him until he was calm... all the time talking to him, telling him to calm down.... Now, if I had not restrained him, what would have happened???? He would certainly have punched me... would have have stopped at one punch? Who knows???
But I tell ya, when I did let go he walked off that train like a little lamb... a reformed character hehehehehehehe
I suppose we can debate all day what the definition of violence is, and how far we should go to defend ourselves. I could have punched the guy back... but I didn't I chose to use "tactics" that I have spent years training to do to AVOID violent confrontation.
More people should learn how to CONTROL those that want to be violent, imo...
Anyways, tolerance..... yeah.... here is a good example cool 8-) 8-)
well even if you did hit him in self defence Bluexxx i'm sure it would have been a last last resort.....sometimes you can be left with no choice when it comes to your own safety!
Thing is, with restraint he couldn't hit me, his arms were errrrrrrrrrrrrrr not working ... lol :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: I guess he could have had another try when I did let him go but I think he had learned his lesson wink
i would more than likely had to hit him......i don't have your training in restraining people so a punch up would have been my only choice to over power him,sometimes you have to stoop to their level to protect yourself......i have to ask....was he drunk,i mean how could you have possibly upset him by just reading a book minding your own buisiness?
bluexxx
Sex God
Quote by da69ve
Experience teaches us that we need to react when we are cornered by bullies, but this doesn't mean that we should reasort to their violent tactics.

Just to clarify, seeing as you quoted my post.............. I was not violent in any way towards the dickhead who very nearly punched me for abolutley no reason other than he did not like me reading on a train. But... I restrained him, so if you think that holding his body in a way in which he could not move is violent, hey whatever.... I restrained him until he was calm... all the time talking to him, telling him to calm down.... Now, if I had not restrained him, what would have happened???? He would certainly have punched me... would have have stopped at one punch? Who knows???
But I tell ya, when I did let go he walked off that train like a little lamb... a reformed character hehehehehehehe
I suppose we can debate all day what the definition of violence is, and how far we should go to defend ourselves. I could have punched the guy back... but I didn't I chose to use "tactics" that I have spent years training to do to AVOID violent confrontation.
More people should learn how to CONTROL those that want to be violent, imo...
Anyways, tolerance..... yeah.... here is a good example cool 8-) 8-)
well even if you did hit him in self defence Bluexxx i'm sure it would have been a last last resort.....sometimes you can be left with no choice when it comes to your own safety!
Thing is, with restraint he couldn't hit me, his arms were errrrrrrrrrrrrrr not working ... lol :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: I guess he could have had another try when I did let him go but I think he had learned his lesson wink
i would more than likely had to hit him......i don't have your training in restraining people so a punch up would have been my only choice to over power him,sometimes you have to stoop to their level to protect yourself......i have to ask....was he drunk,i mean how could you have possibly upset him by just reading a book minding your own buisiness?
He didn't seem excessively drunk as I recall, though he did smell of alcohol, so I guess he could well have been behaving violently cos of intoxication.... he had spoken to me when we got on the train, I think some sad attempt at chatting me up. I'd not really taken much notice of him tbh, and I think that pissed him off.... dunno really.... I do recall him standing up and calling me a snob, to which I laughed at, and that sparked him off......... saddo............ he's probably on here, sending one liners and taking crap pics of his dick to send to unsuspecting females hehehehehehehehe
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Unknown User
Quote by da69ve
...
i would more than likely had to hit him......i don't have your training in restraining people so a punch up would have been my only choice to over power him,sometimes you have to stoop to their level to protect yourself......i have to ask....was he drunk,i mean how could you have possibly upset him by just reading a book minding your own buisiness?

This may or may not be the case with all bullies...but I think when I was in a similar situation, the fact that I was reading and quiet made me seem like someone that wouldn't be able to defend myself. It was probably true at the time, I'd been up all night working and was tired and full of cold too on the day.
The woman came on the train making a lot of noise and I think that a lot of commuters were thinking that she seemed like trouble but not saying anything. She had some kind of complex about their thinking she was inferior and she picked on me reading particularly as a symbol of learning, she said she thought that I must think I was better because I read and that I must be a very dull person with no life. sad