Here's mine:-
1 - A cold
2 - A hand knitted jumper
3 - Anything from Apple
4 - Bottles of Port
5 - Cheese boards
6 - Handerchief's
7 - A pair of silly socks
8 - A Chocolate Father Christmas
9 - A failure of the broadband connection
10 - More snow
Any and all Simpsons related merchandise.
Guffers,
If you get 4 and 5 in your list, can I have 'em?
1. An X-Factor contestant claiming the Christmas No.1 spot, again.
2. Another email from my sister in Barbados mocking me about her lack of snow.
3. Snow, unless it's caster sugar on a chocolate yule log.
4. Space Marines. I've got enough to conduct a full-scale planetary invasion all of my own.
5. A positive pregnancy result.
6. An all expenses paid holiday to North Korea.
7. 'Gifts' from Lily's two cats. Typically small birds and rodents close to death and bleeding heavily over the doormat.
8. Call of Duty Black Ops on Xbox 360. Because I may never leave my bedroom again
9. Fruit
10. Erectile Dysfunction.
1. Perfume - what are you suggesting?
2. Olay products - see #1
3. Underwear - it probably wouldn't fit and the lacy bits are itchy.
4. Flu - not again thanks!
5. Chocolates - oh, go on then, if you insist.
6. Baileys - see #5.
7. Jigsaw - unless it if fiendishly difficult and at least 3000 pieces - and does not feature a pretty cottage, a harbour view or an old master.
8. Computer game - bejewelled is my limit.
9. Garden gloves or tools with pink flowers painted on them - unless you want them back unused next Xmas.
10. a pet - unless it's a few chickens or a pig, or a beehive, or a goat (or 2).
1....tin of shortbread...( so okay I said I liked shortbread once....but not every year please)
2....novelty socks
3....novelty tie
4....novelty bottle opener
5....hankerchiefs
6....key ring
7....set of screwdrivers and spanners ( look I just don't do DIY )
8....cheap nasty smelling aftershave ( normally brought from the pound shop )
9....money box (look times is hard..I have nothing to put in it )
10...an albion football top...(on second thoughts...it could provide 3 mins of warmth when I throw it on the fire !!!!)
