Master of Sex
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my favourite tip is.......don`t whistle with your mouth full of custard
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top tips. Whats yours?
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Sex God
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Quote by robhambledon
my favourite tip is.......don`t whistle with your mouth full of custard
I received a bit of very useful advice when I first this site.
"Don't sit down with eggs in your pocket"
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Quote by HornyLittleBlonde
my favourite tip is.......don`t whistle with your mouth full of custard
I received a bit of very useful advice when I first this site.
"Don't sit down with eggs in your pocket"
TM CarrieAnn '99
Sex God
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Never tickle your Granny when she's shaving :shock:
Jas
XXX
Jas
XXX
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Don't hide chocolate down your tights
Sex God
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Quote by angieyorkshire
Don't hide chocolate down your tights
Why would you do that anyway?
Or tickle your granny while she's shaving? :shock:
Or have eggs in your pocket? And are hard-boiled eggs OK to put in your pockets?
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Avoid parking tickets by leaving your windscreen wipers turned to fast whenever you leave your car parked illegally
Sex God
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Never tell a gorilla.......he has bad breath!
Sex God
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Dont eat curry if you live in a submarine :eeek:
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Don't waste money buying expensive binoculars. Simply stand closer to what you want to look at.
Warming the Bed
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As soon as we have a bit of snow someone always gives this useful tip.....
Don't eat the yellow snow!
Don't eat the yellow snow!
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Next door neighbour's car aerial, carefully folded, makes an ideal coat hanger in an emergency
Orgasminator
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Don't wank with sandpaper :twisted:
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Quote by Jon
Don't wank with sandpaper :twisted:
:shock:
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i have one for the ladies:
Dont let your tits dangle into hot water....
and my tip for blokes.....
always have a sniff before you go down for your " gravy"
thinking about it...it probably applies to the bi-women that use the site too.......
Dont let your tits dangle into hot water....
and my tip for blokes.....
always have a sniff before you go down for your " gravy"
thinking about it...it probably applies to the bi-women that use the site too.......
Sex God
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Top tip for newbies
Don't upset Jags :scared:
Don't upset Jags :scared:
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Quote by meat2pleaseu
Top tip for newbies
Don't upset Jags :scared:
:laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove:
Shaz x
Sex God
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Quote by meat2pleaseu
Top tip for newbies
Don't upset Jags :scared:
Bring it on!
Sex God
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Don't keep the Deep Heat cream in the same drawer as your KY.
:shock:
:shock:
Sex God
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Quote by foxylady2209
Don't keep the Deep Heat cream in the same drawer as your KY.
:shock:
:shock:
Never go back to foxy's house!
:gagged:
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Quote by foxylady2209
Don't keep the Deep Heat cream in the same drawer as your KY.
:shock:
Ouch :shock: details please :twisted:
My tip
If you want you guy to last longer simple!, just tell him little things that may slow him down.
such as..
I wonder what your motherinlaw would look like in thongs.
I had the runs this morning.
I once had a serious case of green fanny rot.
I forgot to wash it since last time.
Is it in yet?
Can i go and buy a new pair of shoes now?
Hope you don't catch my yeast infection.
I need a huge dump.
Then there is noises that can be made like
Loud farts.
big belches.
Yawns
grunts of boredom.
or maybe you could start singing a nice tune 1/2 way though like the spitting image song?
ohhhhh oh hold a chicken in the air stick a deckchair up your nose, skin yourself alive.......
Of course these are only idea's, you could think of many of your own :lol:
Shaz x
P.S we don't actually use any of these but thought it would be a good tip for others :lol:
Orgasminator
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Don't tell your girlfriend "your bum looks big in that".
Sexlightened
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Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Sexlightened
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Food tip: The text below the picture of Anthony Worral Thompson on a pack of his branded sausages which says "Prick with a fork" is not the cooking instructions.
Sex God
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Never cook a pizza with the plastic still on it!
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Quote by Gitfinger
Food tip: The text below the picture of Anthony Worral Thompson on a pack of his branded sausages which says "Prick with a fork" is not the cooking instructions.
another coffee splattered moniter moment
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
Sex God
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Quote by da69ve
Never cook a pizza with the plastic still on it!
Run Dave, before H'red catches you :giggle:
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Don't play cards with a man called 'Doc'
Don't eat anywhere called 'Mum's'
Don't sleep with someone who's problems are greater than you own.
Don't eat anywhere called 'Mum's'
Don't sleep with someone who's problems are greater than you own.
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Don't buy expensive 'ribbed' condoms, just buy an ordinary one and slip a handful of frozen peas inside it before you put it on.
Avoid arguments with the missus about lifting the loo seat by simply p*ssing in the sink.
Have all your dumps at work. Not only will you save money on toilet paper, but you'll also be getting paid for it.
Avoid arguments with the missus about lifting the loo seat by simply p*ssing in the sink.
Have all your dumps at work. Not only will you save money on toilet paper, but you'll also be getting paid for it.
Warming the Bed
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Quote by Shaz_n_Tony
I once had a serious case of green fanny rot.
I forgot to wash it since last time.
Do you wash your green fanny rot then Shaz? :shock:
