I tried to post a version of this here yesterday, but it (rightly) got moved to "Let's meet" because of its last paragraph. So this is the discussion-only version! Sorry if I'm overdoing this, or offending protocol - I'm new to this medium.
I think it's time to re-evaluate phone sex as an erotic art. It's fallen out of favour because of two main reasons - firstly the stupid 0900 recordings, which are as erotic as a toothache, and secondly people's unwillingness to take their time and use their imagination. Also, you have to put in a certain effort to weave the fantasy and put it into words. But the rewards when you do...
In an ideal phone sex exchange, each partner becomes the invisible voyeur in the other's bedroom. If you do it right, you are almost in their head. Whatever your real-world shortcomings, in the erotic universe you create, you are both whatever you want to be. With your eyes closed and that voice breathing intimately in your ear, the arousal can be stunning. There is room for every kind of play - dominant/submissive, romantic/forceful, anything. It's also 100% safe, consensual, and controllable - it's perfectly easy for one partner to keep their phone number hidden, if desired.
And so on. Maybe I'm just hopelessly peculiar. Maybe my male perspective is too skewed, and the (admittedly small number of) female partners I have known have been peculiar too. Or maybe not.
What do you think? I'd love to know.
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Trying again, right place this time? - a lost erotic art * *
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I think the title of the thread hits the nail on the head - "A lost erotic art" indeed.
Phonesex, like cybering or camming can be wonderful between the right two people, but like any of the seductive arts it does take skill, imagination, and a constant regard for the other party's feelings, which is often lacking.
I'm rather surprised that the orginal post seems to concentrate on the 'getting into someone's head, almost being in the room' type of phonesex, because I've always thought the imaginative, scenario-building unreal fantasy type of phonesex to be more rewarding. Possibly this is because it's all too easy for this kind of thing to end up with her giving long floral descriptive comments about her movements and feelings while he's trying to think of yet an other synonym for 'I'm still having a wank"
For me the most rewarding phone sex is the kind where there is narrative freedom, where you can condense "I test you mercilessly for 15 minutes then untie you" from 15 minutes of real time down to a single sentence, or do things that are pushing your personal limits then discuss them afterwards ("that was great, but please never do xxxxxxx to me in real life!"). The medium can also force a loved one into describing their likes and dislikes more graphically than they would if the events were actually taking place, I've discovered several little kinks and preferences about partners through phonesex, which I wouldn't necessarily have detected in the heat of real-world passion.
Of course, phone sex doesn't push everyone's buttons, especially on this site where we have a lot more real-world sex availalbe to us than most people do, but it does have it's time and place, especially as a means of foreplay, for some people.
Phonesex, like cybering or camming can be wonderful between the right two people, but like any of the seductive arts it does take skill, imagination, and a constant regard for the other party's feelings, which is often lacking.
I'm rather surprised that the orginal post seems to concentrate on the 'getting into someone's head, almost being in the room' type of phonesex, because I've always thought the imaginative, scenario-building unreal fantasy type of phonesex to be more rewarding. Possibly this is because it's all too easy for this kind of thing to end up with her giving long floral descriptive comments about her movements and feelings while he's trying to think of yet an other synonym for 'I'm still having a wank"
For me the most rewarding phone sex is the kind where there is narrative freedom, where you can condense "I test you mercilessly for 15 minutes then untie you" from 15 minutes of real time down to a single sentence, or do things that are pushing your personal limits then discuss them afterwards ("that was great, but please never do xxxxxxx to me in real life!"). The medium can also force a loved one into describing their likes and dislikes more graphically than they would if the events were actually taking place, I've discovered several little kinks and preferences about partners through phonesex, which I wouldn't necessarily have detected in the heat of real-world passion.
Of course, phone sex doesn't push everyone's buttons, especially on this site where we have a lot more real-world sex availalbe to us than most people do, but it does have it's time and place, especially as a means of foreplay, for some people.
There is definitely a need for phone sex...and I say this because I work on the phone as a Sex Chatline Operator.....but to be honest I don't find it remotely sexy to be doing phone sex with someone you don't know.
The whole point, to my way of thinking, of doing phone sex is to get to know the person better and find out what turns them on and then to describe doing it to them in detail.....For those that can't get together on a regular basis, phone sex HAS to work for them because it's all they have.....and it can be very sensual and erotic to hear the other person moan and the moment they cum (especially if you cum together) is Sooooo damn horny it's hot....
Phew...is it getting hot in here? LoL
The whole point, to my way of thinking, of doing phone sex is to get to know the person better and find out what turns them on and then to describe doing it to them in detail.....For those that can't get together on a regular basis, phone sex HAS to work for them because it's all they have.....and it can be very sensual and erotic to hear the other person moan and the moment they cum (especially if you cum together) is Sooooo damn horny it's hot....
Phew...is it getting hot in here? LoL
Sex God
Oh dear Helen, I hope you don't get pestered for your phone number now....although I fear you might....
Mike.
Mike.
Sex God
As most of you probably know, my beloved boyfriend lives in Scandinavia. This means that webcamming and phone calls is the only contact we have with each other outside of the written word.
It is one of the things that keeps our relationship together and alive. We know each other very well and because of this we can tell at which point of excitment the other is at so we know what to say next. It just flows seemlessly, I close my eyes and can almost feel him there with me. It is an erotic experience.
We sometimes make up scenarios for each other to enjoy and other times we focus specifically on what we are doing and how that feels.
I don't know if I could do this with a complete stranger and get pleasure from it myself because we don't know each others likes and kinks. I think it is an intimate thing I could only ever share with my nearest and dearest.
I do agree there is an art to it as some people are very good and use their voice to the full as well as breathing and the pauses can drive you wild, or be as interesting as watching paint dry.
It is one of the things that keeps our relationship together and alive. We know each other very well and because of this we can tell at which point of excitment the other is at so we know what to say next. It just flows seemlessly, I close my eyes and can almost feel him there with me. It is an erotic experience.
We sometimes make up scenarios for each other to enjoy and other times we focus specifically on what we are doing and how that feels.
I don't know if I could do this with a complete stranger and get pleasure from it myself because we don't know each others likes and kinks. I think it is an intimate thing I could only ever share with my nearest and dearest.
I do agree there is an art to it as some people are very good and use their voice to the full as well as breathing and the pauses can drive you wild, or be as interesting as watching paint dry.
Adding another positive note to this, used to get really steamy with previous GF on the phone when we were apart, and worked for us. Not managed this with Mrs TnH, horses for courses, but in right place, right time, it works.
I have also noted a lot of negativity toward anything other than physical sex lately (No I don't mean the cam thread in lets meet, that a good idea IMHO before anyone asks) However remember it takes all sorts to make the world, cheap recorded chatlines I don't think do anything for anyone apart from put up bills, but for the lonely single, or separated lovers, phone sex does provide a means of contact with another human being.
Don't know about anyone else but I have sex with a person, not a body. A lot of that person is their personality, and you can feel that down a phone line when it all you have.
I have also noted a lot of negativity toward anything other than physical sex lately (No I don't mean the cam thread in lets meet, that a good idea IMHO before anyone asks) However remember it takes all sorts to make the world, cheap recorded chatlines I don't think do anything for anyone apart from put up bills, but for the lonely single, or separated lovers, phone sex does provide a means of contact with another human being.
Don't know about anyone else but I have sex with a person, not a body. A lot of that person is their personality, and you can feel that down a phone line when it all you have.
Thanks for the reactions. The feeling seems to be that it's one of life's pickles and sauces rather than a main course, which is very much my opinion too. It's an occasional recreational activity rather than a life choice.
There's also definitely an agreement that the better you know the person, the better it works. Yes, of course, like most things. Taking your time is crucial. And I do agree with the previous post that a lot of personality can pass down a phone line.
Anyway, thanks again. It's been interesting.
There's also definitely an agreement that the better you know the person, the better it works. Yes, of course, like most things. Taking your time is crucial. And I do agree with the previous post that a lot of personality can pass down a phone line.
Anyway, thanks again. It's been interesting.
Quote by RichieW
Thanks for the reactions. The feeling seems to be that it's one of life's pickles and sauces rather than a main course, which is very much my opinion too. It's an occasional recreational activity rather than a life choice.
There's also definitely an agreement that the better you know the person, the better it works. Yes, of course, like most things. Taking your time is crucial. And I do agree with the previous post that a lot of personality can pass down a phone line.
Anyway, thanks again. It's been interesting.
Phone sex with a stranger, that's not something that I would get off on.
BUT
Phone sex with someone you love and care for well.
Bring it on
I think this is because you know the other person well, you know how they will react to certain things that you do to them.
In your minds eye you can see the ectascy on thier faces, the love in thier eyes.
In you mind you can feel the ceress of her hands and tounge over your body.
Works for me :lol: :lol:
