Turning a blind eye???

23 Sep 2008

Not started a thread on here for ages and ages but this has been on my mind since Saturday night so i would appreciate what others think...
Last Saturday evening, my daughter walked round to the shop with her friends, when she came back she told me she had heard the terrified screams of children coming from a house. The adults in the house were shouting at the children and she said she could hear them being beaten/smacked/abused, or whatever. She was so upset by hearing this, she almost called the police there and then. sad

Anyway, i pondered about this alll evening, should i just anonymously call Social Services the next day and tell them what was heard?? Should i put a note thru their front door saying something along the lines of "you were heard and next time, Social Services will be called". Or do i turn a blind eye, never heard a thing, what kids being hurt??
Made me thing of something which now, seems pretty bad... When i was growing up on a council estate in the 60s, there were loads of us kids and everything was good fun. BUT, there was this one woman who used to beat her kids with belts, slippers, sticks, and we all knew about it and we could hear them screaming for help nearly every evening. The mother used to make them go to bed really early, like 5pm on a summers evening and they used to stand up at the bedroom window watching us all playing :(
Nowadays my parents say that something should have been done, a phone call should have been made but i dont know, maybe people just ignored it all those years ago? confused

Anyway, this is my quandry, do i do something, would you do something, or do i just push it to the back of my mind and ignore it??
Suze xxxx

23 Sep 2008

I would have phoned the Police there and then........
Its not too late to do it now :thumbup:

23 Sep 2008

It's a difficult one, you only have to look at the Victoria Climbie case to realise early intervention may have saved her life.
In this case you could do one of two things - you could anon ring someone at SS and say exactly what your thread says, you aren't 100% sure what's happened but you are concerned. They may well know of the family or may just make a note that you've rang I really don't know for sure.
Or, you could put it down to a one off but make a mental note to keep an eye on the people in the house yourself?
I'm saying the latter because some years ago, I witnessed a woman hitting a girl across the head quite hard, the kid was in my daughter's class at school. I said nothing then BUT I kept an eye on her and soon at school pick up times she was often verbally aggressive to her child.
At that time I knew a person in through my connections at work, the matter had already been reported.
Good luck whatever you do, my preference would be No.1, but it is a horrible decision to make, could you imagine the guilt if something bad happened to one of those kids, I wouldn't like to be in your shoes right now.
kiss

23 Sep 2008

Its always a difficult call - what you hear sometimes isn't exactly what maybe happening...
But a little call to social services office can do no harm - they will check to see if any notes on the family: to see if any other calls have been received, or to see if on risk register, problems at school. At least then you have passed on your concerns and its logged.

23 Sep 2008

i would phone social services, let them look into it

23 Sep 2008

You should call someone, i would for the simple reason if anything serious happens to them children you will feel guilty for not saying anything and knowing maybe you could have stopped it, to late to call the police now but i'd call social services, to many children get badly hurt, abused and killed every year becuase 'its none of our buisness' well i think when it comes to kids it is our buisness.

23 Sep 2008

Sod Social Services...the Police would have responded quicker!

23 Sep 2008

An alternative would be to call the NSPCC helpline:

And yes, I agree with the others, don't ignore the matter.

23 Sep 2008

Quote by Mr-Powers
Sod Social Services...the Police would have responded quicker!

at the time they might have but not now, but social services will still look into it now and in fact would have been bought into it at the time too !

23 Sep 2008

Quote by danne-gary
Sod Social Services...the Police would have responded quicker!

at the time they might have but not now, but social services will still look into it now and in fact would have been bought into it at the time too !
I know the police wouldn't respond now...but if i heard chidren screaming and crying,my first thought would be, not to call social services only to be put through to some automated system but to call the police,who could once they've paid a visit to the home decide if social services are needed!

23 Sep 2008

Let's look at it from a slightly different angle?
What's the worst that could happen if you phone SW and you're wrong... not a lot really, the SW calls out has a word with the parents and that's it.
What's the worst that could happen if you don't phone the SS and you were wrong...?
It's probably a mum at the end of her tether reading the riot act, but personally that's not a chance I'd take.
Alternatively, phone the SWs to ask for advice on the situation rather than as reporting it as an incident. Allow them to make the choice to regard it as actionable or not.

23 Sep 2008

Quote by MikeNorth
An alternative would be to call the NSPCC helpline:

And yes, I agree with the others, don't ignore the matter.

I work with children and a few years ago went on a course and to be honest the NSPCC didn't get a good rep, the person on the course told us that all that happens when you phone their helplines with your concerns they make a note and just pass them on to an over stretched social services, so my advice is just go straight to the social services...

23 Sep 2008

You should still call someone Suze, probably social services. You never know what might happen to the child in the future confused

23 Sep 2008

Agree with Dawnie and others.
Please make a call - you lose nothing very much if you're wrong. But what if...
If you know the childrens' school you could also try there - they have a designated child protection officer.

23 Sep 2008

I would have made the call Suze.....Make it now :cry:

23 Sep 2008

Quote by Firelizard
I would have made the call Anais.....Make it now :cry:

:thumbup:

23 Sep 2008

totally agree with everyone else worth a call to SS
put ya mind at rest thats for sure

23 Sep 2008

It is a really tough one.... and I feel for anyone in that situation....
the way that I look at it is "what would I want someone to do if it was my kid in that situation?"
it is never too late to call the police or SS just to put your own mind at ease if that is what it comes down to, no one is going to have a go for the sake of having concerns about another...
if fact I'd rather have people do that, rather than not care at all..... kiss

23 Sep 2008

If someone reported me to the police, after hearing my daughter screaming like she's being injured, but just throwing a HUGE tantrum...I wouldn't be angry at all. I believe that it is everyone's responsibility to look out for and care for children. It's not worth approaching people directly as anger flares up so quickly in these situations. I'd call the police and social services to log concerns with them both. If the family have nothing to cover up, they have nothing to fear! Good luck x

23 Sep 2008

You should make the call.
I wish someone had made a call for me when I was getting beaten sensless by my abusive father.
Suprising how many people just bury their head in the sand when all they have to lose is the price of a phone call sad

23 Sep 2008

Quote by Suze43
Should i put a note thru their front door saying something along the lines of "you were heard and next time, Social Services will be called".

i happen to like this option....i think it covers several bases... including the possibility that what was heard was "reasonable chastisement".

23 Sep 2008

Quote by DeeCee
Should i put a note thru their front door saying something along the lines of "you were heard and next time, Social Services will be called".

i happen to like this option....i think it covers several bases... including the possibility that what was heard was "reasonable chastisement".
Could also be considered to be a blackmail threat, also a reason for keeping the event quieter as opposed to stopping it totally.

23 Sep 2008

Thanks so much for all the constructive comments - i will find out the address of the house and make the call to Social Services. As you say, it may have been someone at the "end of their tether" but to my daughter and her friends it sounded really awful, enough to make them just stop in their tracks. Poor kids, you really dont ever really know what some go thru.
Thanks again..
Suze xx

23 Sep 2008

Quote by Peanut
Should i put a note thru their front door saying something along the lines of "you were heard and next time, Social Services will be called".

i happen to like this option....i think it covers several bases... including the possibility that what was heard was "reasonable chastisement".
Could also be considered to be a blackmail threat, also a reason for keeping the event quieter as opposed to stopping it totally.
well i hate to split hairs... but whilst it might be seen as a "blackmail threat" to the layman .... it fails to fall under the legal definition. Theft Act 1968.
there is a moral issue called " the greater good"... and this appears to me to be a time when one would be permitted to act in a way that works in favour of the greater good. think about it.
who knows, you might actually be preventing a crime.

23 Sep 2008

Quote by DeeCee
Should i put a note thru their front door saying something along the lines of "you were heard and next time, Social Services will be called".

i happen to like this option....i think it covers several bases... including the possibility that what was heard was "reasonable chastisement".
To a degree I agree however, if his is a mum with severe depression it could just compound the problems without offering any solution. Should SS be involved they will identify this and suitable help offered.

23 Sep 2008

Make the call! It could be the missing part of the jigsaw - it could be that others have had concerns but not enough to complete the picture.
Child protection is everyone's responsibility.
Mrs 777 xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

23 Sep 2008

Quote by DeeCee
Should i put a note thru their front door saying something along the lines of "you were heard and next time, Social Services will be called".

i happen to like this option....i think it covers several bases... including the possibility that what was heard was "reasonable chastisement".
I disagree ......... if it was abuse, a note like this, just says .......do it more quietly next time!
Call the police or SS
Sam xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

23 Sep 2008

Quote by Suze43
As you say, it may have been someone at the "end of their tether" but to my daughter and her friends it sounded really awful, enough to make them just stop in their tracks.

Which is why, imo, your daughter and her friends should report it, as they actually heard it. They can do so anonymously but if they all report it, it may get a quicker response than one person calling to say that someone else heard it.

23 Sep 2008

Quote by Serendipity
Which is why, imo, your daughter and her friends should report it, as they actually heard it. They can do so anonymously but if they all report it, it may get a quicker response than one person calling to say that someone else heard it.

And they can do it here
Call Crimestoppers anonymously on 0800 555 111

24 Sep 2008

people still have a misconception of the role of social services.
i certainly did until i had to work closely with them in my previous job.
Yes they do have a tremendous workload and on occassion a lot of bad press, but they do care!
who would take on all that stress unless you really wanted to help society.!
They are not there to take kids off families, they are there to try and keep the family unit together but in a safe and understanding enviroment.
No if or buts, you have a moral obligation to report this incident, it may be a one off or a grave cause for concern.
Id hate to read in the press a few weeks/months down the line that something serious had happened and i may have helped prevent it by an anonymus phone call--hard to live with huh?
:cry: