this is a slight variation on the " reading the signs " thread....... but i thought id do it as a a seperate post.............
anyhow, following a recent "social event" i attended recently ...WRATS wedding party.. i spoke to a female who was also there and whom id met with before........ see it is possible for single males to get meets with couples..........and we both realised that we actually had wanted to play but both misread the signs............
the conversation then went on to how to read the signs in future and to try and work out if there was infact a way of finding out where you stand...
the solution seems to be to ask.....2 little questions.
1) do you fancy me?
and
2) do you want to play?
any observations anyone?
Join the most popular community of UK swingers now
Login
two little questions
Sex God
sounds good in theory Dee Cee
but could i picture myself being that upfront :shock:
I'd rather stick pins in my eyes, for all the reasons that where given in the *signs* thread
but could i picture myself being that upfront :shock:
I'd rather stick pins in my eyes, for all the reasons that where given in the *signs* thread
Sex God
As the others have said, in theory it is a brilliant suggestion, but I know for one that I would never ever be able to ask something like that outright!
For example, say I had met a single guy at munches/parties/socials and thought that they were really nice and that I would like to play, I really dont think I could ask either of the questions in case I was rejected.
I think with myself it is also a size issue and me being a bit self conscious. I know that some, or possibly a lot, of guys dont just go off a persons size, and like the 'whole package' but that is not something you always know, especially if it is someone you have just met or chatted to casually on line. I would therefore rather leave it to the guy to make that first move.
I really do think that if you have the guts, or confidence, to ask a person outright, then hats off to you, I certainly wish I had the confidence to do it! I do actually like the Bluetooth idea (or perhaps via pm or text)
Oh sod it, anyone fancy a shag
:wink:
For example, say I had met a single guy at munches/parties/socials and thought that they were really nice and that I would like to play, I really dont think I could ask either of the questions in case I was rejected.
I think with myself it is also a size issue and me being a bit self conscious. I know that some, or possibly a lot, of guys dont just go off a persons size, and like the 'whole package' but that is not something you always know, especially if it is someone you have just met or chatted to casually on line. I would therefore rather leave it to the guy to make that first move.
I really do think that if you have the guts, or confidence, to ask a person outright, then hats off to you, I certainly wish I had the confidence to do it! I do actually like the Bluetooth idea (or perhaps via pm or text)
Oh sod it, anyone fancy a shag
:wink: I guess this is one of those situations where having Aspergers could be a benefit! I would just ask. Yes rejection can be painful but for me the possible confusion, signals I don't always 'get' and no knowing can be worse. Don't get me wrong - I would need a clear sign (in my mind ) that it was ok to ask.
Due to the fact that I sometimes get things muddled ("Never!" I hear you say :lol
I don't tend to ever 'make a move' physically with somebody I haven't been intimate with before. I just say how I feel.
) that it was ok to ask. Due to the fact that I sometimes get things muddled ("Never!" I hear you say :lol
I don't tend to ever 'make a move' physically with somebody I haven't been intimate with before. I just say how I feel. id like to say that before we formulated the theory we did discuss the "embarrasment "issue.
confidence is a thing that affects us all......... even the ballsiest of us have the jitters sometimes.
if you play it through in your mind..... and the other person said "no"....
whats the worst the other person could think???...... (give or take a few harsh put-downs-which really dont mean jack shit anyway...)????
"so and so asked me to play"..........
it aint sooooo bad is it......?????
confidence is a thing that affects us all......... even the ballsiest of us have the jitters sometimes.
if you play it through in your mind..... and the other person said "no"....
whats the worst the other person could think???...... (give or take a few harsh put-downs-which really dont mean jack shit anyway...)????
"so and so asked me to play"..........
it aint sooooo bad is it......?????
Quote by Kiss
"Yes rejection can be painful but for me the possible confusion, signals I don't always 'get' and no knowing can be worse. Don't get me wrong - I would need a clear sign (in my mind
Due to the fact that I sometimes get things muddled ("Never!" I hear you say :lol
wise words and actions..........
dont you find that once you have overcome the fear of pain it gets easier........?? i do
I said it to my best mate once after months of us flirting with each other and you could cut the sexual tension between us with a 's one of those guys who couldn't take a hint if it slapped him in the face so the only way forward was to just say it. Even though we back to just best mates and no sex, the sexual tension is still there.
I don't think I could say it outright unless I knew the other person was interested too. That's why I prefer to have social meets first and find out later if there's any chance of further meets.
Maybe I should give it a try though.
Kiss, you fancy a shag? :rascal:
I don't think I could say it outright unless I knew the other person was interested too. That's why I prefer to have social meets first and find out later if there's any chance of further meets.
Maybe I should give it a try though.
Kiss, you fancy a shag? :rascal:
see the problem is people dont read the initial post on the forum...........
pay attention you.........
theres two questions
1) do you fancy me?
and
2) do you want to play?
feck me , people pay fortunes for life coaching and im givin it out here for free.......
Kiss darling... Sassy-seren has something to ask you......
Sorry I'm a bit doped up tonight so maybe not thinking straight :doh:nooooooo.
i gave you the technique ...... ie asking two questions........ but you simply asked Kiss one . ie.. do you fancy a shag.......
obviously your technique works on some people............but one could end up looking like a bit of a "" (insert put down here)""
mines a little more diplomatic......
i gave you the technique ...... ie asking two questions........ but you simply asked Kiss one . ie.. do you fancy a shag.......
obviously your technique works on some people............but one could end up looking like a bit of a "" (insert put down here)""
mines a little more diplomatic......
Sex God
Quote by DeeCee
I really dont think I could ask either of the questions in case I was rejected.
dont worry di ........ im using the technique now
But did it work???????
(God, Im a nosey cow) :wink:
Well i wondered if it really should be as simple as getting on with it and just plain asking but i just couldn't as its not
A something iv'e done before
B In my nature
i think it makes it more difficult not being able to just ask but its not something that i feel i can't do and its not the end of the world if i dont it will just take longer and thats not a problem to me either.
If i could ask then i would be using it now
A something iv'e done before
B In my nature
i think it makes it more difficult not being able to just ask but its not something that i feel i can't do and its not the end of the world if i dont it will just take longer and thats not a problem to me either.
If i could ask then i would be using it now
Orgasminator
Quote by DeeCee
the solution seems to be to ask.....2 little questions.
1) do you fancy me?
and
2) do you want to play?
any observations anyone?
Somehow, these questions would sound much better coming from a lady rather than a bloke.
And not just because I'd rather hear a lady saying them. (In my dreams!!!)
If I was to ask a lady either of these, no matter how well I knew her and we were getting on together, I'd just feel so pushy and aggressive.
Surely there are more subtle ways of getting the same info across?
If anyone knows then could you please PM them to me!!!
I don't think I've asked anyone outright if they want to play. Usually we've flirted a bit for a while and I probably hint that I'd like to take it further then sit back and wait for the other person to actually say the words
If females are wanting to meet a guy, will they usually wait for the guy to make the first move? Like it used to be in the past and at the school discos, girls didn't always ask they waited, while making all the usual signals, for the guy to bite the bullet and approach them. When that didn't work you got your pal to be the go between :giggle:
In this day and age and on a site like this, there should be no problem at all in asking for what you want and from whom you want it and just taking whatever answer you get! I can't believe a lot of us can still be so shy and apprehensive! Myself included
ops:
I'd like to be able to just walk up to someone/pm them directly and go for it!
Fee
XX
If females are wanting to meet a guy, will they usually wait for the guy to make the first move? Like it used to be in the past and at the school discos, girls didn't always ask they waited, while making all the usual signals, for the guy to bite the bullet and approach them. When that didn't work you got your pal to be the go between :giggle:
In this day and age and on a site like this, there should be no problem at all in asking for what you want and from whom you want it and just taking whatever answer you get! I can't believe a lot of us can still be so shy and apprehensive! Myself included
ops: I'd like to be able to just walk up to someone/pm them directly and go for it!
Fee
XX
Quote by Naughty Wigan Couple
I really dont think I could ask either of the questions in case I was rejected.
dont worry di ........ im using the technique now
But did it work???????
(God, Im a nosey cow) :wink:
as to whether i ended up playing......... well yes it has worked... but of couse ive said it to people who play and in environments where these things happen
but most importantly it worked in so far as:
it built up my confidence , because i felt the fear and worked to defeat it
i found out exactly where i stood
it cut out all the bullshit
i showed my confidence (which some women love)
i was prepared to take rejection full on (its not soo bad)
as ive said... in my perspective..... whats the worst that could be said about me having asked the 2 questions? "deecee asked me to play"
if id have been rejected... in my perspective ive lost a damn site more in my life than the opportunity to have "no strings sex"... if theyd have said no it really wouldnt have bothered me.........
Sex God
Quote by DeeCee
this is a slight variation on the " reading the signs " thread....... but i thought id do it as a a seperate post.............
anyhow, following a recent "social event" i attended recently ...WRATS wedding party.. i spoke to a female who was also there and whom id met with before........ see it is possible for single males to get meets with couples..........and we both realised that we actually had wanted to play but both misread the signs............
the conversation then went on to how to read the signs in future and to try and work out if there was infact a way of finding out where you stand...
the solution seems to be to ask.....2 little questions.
1) do you fancy me?
and
2) do you want to play?
any observations anyone?
at the next do we aer just gonna throw car keys in a big pot and see who draws who out..........what a fab idea...this swinging lark could learn a lot from us
wrats
xx
Quote by DeeCee
id like to say that before we formulated the theory we did discuss the "embarrasment "issue.
confidence is a thing that affects us all......... even the ballsiest of us have the jitters sometimes.
if you play it through in your mind..... and the other person said "no"....
whats the worst the other person could think???...... (give or take a few harsh put-downs-which really dont mean jack shit anyway...)????
"so and so asked me to play"..........
it aint sooooo bad is it......?????
My motto is "if you don't ask, you don't get" but flirting with peeps is one thing but getting straight to the point is another. The fear of rejection would definately stop me from asking those direct questions.
Alex
Not posted here before, my partner redhouse does, and very witty too.
Just thought i would let you know my experience about asking outright.
I always feel that taking responsibility for my requests of others takes away the feeling that they are judging me to be a wanton women, andf thats were my lack of confidence came from the fear for me of being judged. Now I dont care!
Yes it might be easier as a women, to ask, after all thats what we are made for!!!!
But some of us, and I am guessing most of us have come from a culture that is not encouraging about getting our needs met, and it is hard to get over that some bottom line is it all depends how horney i am and defineatly how i feel about the person in front of me.
There are give aways too, someones body language gives me the biggest clues, so i keep my eyes open for those who are giving me the eye.
Just thought i would let you know my experience about asking outright.
I always feel that taking responsibility for my requests of others takes away the feeling that they are judging me to be a wanton women, andf thats were my lack of confidence came from the fear for me of being judged. Now I dont care!
Yes it might be easier as a women, to ask, after all thats what we are made for!!!!
But some of us, and I am guessing most of us have come from a culture that is not encouraging about getting our needs met, and it is hard to get over that some bottom line is it all depends how horney i am and defineatly how i feel about the person in front of me.
There are give aways too, someones body language gives me the biggest clues, so i keep my eyes open for those who are giving me the eye.
