Tying the knot when one partner is terminally ill

3 Sep 2009

Just to show i can do serious, as well as lighthearted froth, im gonna post something that came to my forethoughts recently
i was reading an article about Ryan O'Neal not managing to get to marry Farah Fawcett just before she died, which made me rather sad.
It also made me wonder their reasons for finally deciding to tie the knot after such a long, and often tempestuous relationship.
With the case of a couple where one is terminally ill, why do people decide to tie the knot?
Is it for financial gain or security, (now thinking along the lines of ordinary folks and not celebs with oodles of money).....sharing or passing on on any finances, pensions, benefits etc
because this was the last chance to ever make such a commitment of love and devotion to each other
or a mixture of other things?
if (god forbid) this ever happened, would you get wed and make it official, and if so would it be more a financial decision behind it, or a last show of commitment, or because you feel its the right thing to do spiritually?
It must be a hard thing to do, knowing your marriage isn't going to last long and I take my hat off to anyone who has ever, or will ever have to go through this. kiss

:therethere:

3 Sep 2009

a girl at work had terminal cancer and had 2 children to a previous partner but had been with current partner for quite a number of years, they married, apart from other reasons, so that he had custody of the children and they wouldnt be separated.
I am sure there are lots of reasons for people getting married in this situation and also many reasons that they dont, i guess it depends on the situation and the people.

3 Sep 2009

i hadnt thought of it from that point of view Earthy....good point!

3 Sep 2009

Gawd knows. Apart from the practicalities, perhaps there's an element of highly charged emotions making people not want to have any regrets. dunno

Must admit, that I think I'd only do it if there was a pressing practical reason. I'm far too pragmatic and would be thinking "we were never bothered before, why does that change just coz I'm popping me clogs?" rolleyes

3 Sep 2009

As witchy states "There's an element of highly charged emotions"...
Given that one of a couple is terminally illm what can the partner do to show his/her love for the one failing. I guess that even if partners originally agreed that marriage is not for them, there maybe a little hankering after it dwelling somewhere within. By marrying then this shows the depth of feeling in no other way that is so public and yet remain personal. OK they are only words and vows but they do hold a place in our history and who we are as a people.
Given the circumstances. I would do it without hesitation for the one I loved.

3 Sep 2009

Quote by Lost
As witchy states "There's an element of highly charged emotions"...
Given that one of a couple is terminally illm what can the partner do to show his/her love for the one failing. I guess that even if partners originally agreed that marriage is not for them, there maybe a little hankering after it dwelling somewhere within. By marrying then this shows the depth of feeling in no other way that is so public and yet remain personal. OK they are only words and vows but they do hold a place in our history and who we are as a people.
Given the circumstances. I would do it without hesitation for the one I loved.

:inlove:

4 Sep 2009

I've seen many couples married at our hospice when one of them is terminally ill and the prognosis is short. Mostly the main reasons are for security for the children or estate but there's always been the underlying reason of it's what they both wanted.
That said, it would take someone pretty damn special, dying or not, to get me to marry again.

4 Sep 2009

Couples, who do this at least know that one of them is terminally ill so they can order their affairs and make their true feelings known.
Not everybody is able to do this and when one partner is snatched away it is bad.
I say good luck to those who do have the time to arrange things, whatever the reason.
.

4 Sep 2009

If I married under these circumstances it would purely be for financial reasons. Widows/widowers pension which you wouldn't get otherwise but mainly so that my "husband" would then be entitled to my teachers pension, which is not the case if there is no marriage certificate. As this has always infuriated me in this day and age, even after a steady relationship of over 30 years, it would be cocking a snoop at these dinosaurs and their petty rules. mad

4 Sep 2009

Cor bloody hell some of you lack romance in this subject :lol2:
Its lovely thing to do for your partner, whichever way round, really lovely and in the most heart rending of times. a declaration of being there and theirs until the very sad end - F**k me it gives me collywobbles thinking about it. Sheer romance it is, screw those people thinking on the practilcalities and the suspiciousness maybe even of the event, Its nice a really nice thing.

5 Sep 2009

i think its a lovely romantic thing to do smile

5 Sep 2009

Quote by Lost
Cor bloody hell some of you lack romance in this subject :lol2:
Its lovely thing to do for your partner, whichever way round, really lovely and in the most heart rending of times. a declaration of being there and theirs until the very sad end - F**k me it gives me collywobbles thinking about it. Sheer romance it is, screw those people thinking on the practilcalities and the suspiciousness maybe even of the event, Its nice a really nice thing.

awww Losty, you soft and squishy love you....i wanna marry ya :inlove: