I wouldn't describe us as hardened swingers however you define it . Over the past 3-4 years we have had regular contact with a couple but last week we took the plunge with a single guy .
Met last Thursday evening for a drink and went over the ground rules so to speak . All nice n relaxed and agreed we' d meet Sunday evening to take things further . Texts went back n forth Friday and Saturday getting filthier and filthier and all was great .
Sunday evening came and after a couple of drinks at a pub we went back to his .
We'd agreed that i would 'sleep' with him first and then Finlay would join us , or we would meet another night for a 3sum . No pressure at all from anyone .
We got down to it and i mean got down to it . I was so relaxed and comfortable i astounded myself !! . Trouble was 'J' couldn't . Tried everything i knew !! . He was caring and pleasured me throughout but he couldn't manage an errection at all . After nearly hour we gave up . I reassured him throughout , told him not to worry . Told him i'd had a nice time and told i would love to try again with him another time .
He was vey embarrassed and we've texted him so reassure him and tell him that we would like to see him again .
This must have happened to others on here ? , is it worth persuing ? . he was a really nice guy and i'm sure things would be better next time .
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Unfinished Business
Hi Finnsmag, i thought i better pluck up the courage and post a reply to your forum post, i'm a bit of a newbie in this forum so please bear with me. 
I've had a few meetings over the past 2 years or so , and when i first meet someone, it takes a while to feel comfortable in their company, so i can totally understand what your friend went through.
Usually after the first meeting things are fine, but i think nerves...expectations etc. can all play their part.
I find alcohol doesn't do me any good at all..lol so i tend to steer clear if i'm meeting someone, but i think nerves can play a big part.
Never found it much of a problem though, as foreplay is a wonderful thing
I agree with what Dawnie said , 'its not about the shag' (its the taking part that counts). Hope thats makes sense.
Like i said i'm a newbie in this forum so please be gentle..
but hopefully if i can pluck up the courage to reply to your forum post, others will too.
I'm sure if you met again things would be fine, but aslong as you all have fun thats all that matters. :wink:
I've had a few meetings over the past 2 years or so , and when i first meet someone, it takes a while to feel comfortable in their company, so i can totally understand what your friend went through.
Usually after the first meeting things are fine, but i think nerves...expectations etc. can all play their part.
I find alcohol doesn't do me any good at all..lol so i tend to steer clear if i'm meeting someone, but i think nerves can play a big part.
Never found it much of a problem though, as foreplay is a wonderful thing
I agree with what Dawnie said , 'its not about the shag' (its the taking part that counts). Hope thats makes sense.
Like i said i'm a newbie in this forum so please be gentle..
but hopefully if i can pluck up the courage to reply to your forum post, others will too.I'm sure if you met again things would be fine, but aslong as you all have fun thats all that matters. :wink:
Thanks for the replies .
It was a fun evening allround . We didn't leave thinking what a let down and hoped we had reassured him that these things happen and that we had no preconceptions of how thew night would progress .We arn't professionals either !! .
Selfishly i keep thinking was it my fault . Was i to forward ? , he didn't fancy me , was i doing it right ? .
4 days on i'm stll full of self doubt !
It was a fun evening allround . We didn't leave thinking what a let down and hoped we had reassured him that these things happen and that we had no preconceptions of how thew night would progress .We arn't professionals either !! .
Selfishly i keep thinking was it my fault . Was i to forward ? , he didn't fancy me , was i doing it right ? .
4 days on i'm stll full of self doubt !
Sex God
Quote by finnsmags
This must have happened to others on here ? , is it worth persuing ? . he was a really nice guy and i'm sure things would be better next time .
Don't worry about this at all. It's happened to me and happens on occasions, usually just nerves, and being slightly older I know I just need to relax and just take things a bit slower so that things take there natural course.
. Quote by finnsmags
It was a fun evening allround . We didn't leave thinking what a let down and hoped we had reassured him that these things happen and that we had no preconceptions of how thew night would progress .We arn't professionals either !! .
Selfishly i keep thinking was it my fault . Was i to forward ? , he didn't fancy me , was i doing it right ? .
4 days on i'm stll full of self doubt !
The one thing you mustn't do is think it's your fault or there's something wrong with you, or you did something wrong. I know it sounds odd but really fancying someone can also make a guy nervous, with the result that the "little guy" doesn't want to come out and play. Also other worries about how well one's is going to perform with a new person, trying to amke a good impression, and woriies about cumming too quickly, all hieghten the pressure and can make it difficult.
Since you've already 'broken the ice' with your first meet, your next meet should be better, so shouldn't stop you from getting together again. Then hopefully you can just put it all down to experience.
:D :D Happened to me.. many times! First 3 months of meeting people it was up and down but normally at the wrong times lol.. No reason just had a mind of his own. I'd be as horny as hell, rampant waiting for things to start then... 'Hello wheres he flucked off to now' sort of thing.. Hated it and even thought about giving up on things playing wise.. but as time went on and we saw couples more than once things soon relaxed.. thankfully the ladies concirned were as understanding as you seem to sound and things now (touch wood) (Pardon the pun) are fine lol...
Nerves... plain and simple and the more you worry the more it happens lol..
I thought it was 'just me' too... Yeah right!
Mike x
Nerves... plain and simple and the more you worry the more it happens lol..
I thought it was 'just me' too... Yeah right!
Mike x
Sex God
Hi Finnsmags
Worry not, it's happened to me too (been on the receiving end I mean) and it's often down to nerves. Yes I got all worried about it thinking it was me etc etc. I have had one guy said that he saw me as very confident and he fancied me so much :smug: :lol2: it piled the pressure on him causing a few droops here and there.
Regarding me, like Mike, in our first few months of swinging I found it hard to orgasm with anyone other than Blue. I didn't feel unrelaxed, enjoing all the meets but I guess underneath I wasn't really letting go, boy has that changed now!!
So to summarise I think the mind affects us quite significantly and I think the reassurance you gave the guy during and after is great.
pink x
Worry not, it's happened to me too (been on the receiving end I mean) and it's often down to nerves. Yes I got all worried about it thinking it was me etc etc. I have had one guy said that he saw me as very confident and he fancied me so much :smug: :lol2: it piled the pressure on him causing a few droops here and there.
Regarding me, like Mike, in our first few months of swinging I found it hard to orgasm with anyone other than Blue. I didn't feel unrelaxed, enjoing all the meets but I guess underneath I wasn't really letting go, boy has that changed now!!
So to summarise I think the mind affects us quite significantly and I think the reassurance you gave the guy during and after is great.
pink x
Quote by blueandpink
Hi Finnsmags
Worry not, it's happened to me too (been on the receiving end I mean) and it's often down to nerves. Yes I got all worried about it thinking it was me etc etc. I have had one guy said that he saw me as very confident and he fancied me so much :smug: :lol2: it piled the pressure on him causing a few droops here and there.
Regarding me, like Mike, in our first few months of swinging I found it hard to orgasm with anyone other than Blue. I didn't feel unrelaxed, enjoing all the meets but I guess underneath I wasn't really letting go, boy has that changed now!!
So to summarise I think the mind affects us quite significantly and I think the reassurance you gave the guy during and after is great.
pink x
Absolutely...... I was lucky no one ever made a fuss..
I'd have died if they did lol....
Mike x
I have to admit the first couple of meets I had were all over rather too quickly, if you catch my drift.
The excitement of being with someone new, of the hubby looking on etc. Fortunately the women were appreciative of my other efforts and willing to wait for seconds and/or another meet.
On one occasion I couldn't rise, but I had been having phone sex with her until the early hours the previous night, so was knackered, and then drove to hers the next day and promptly got pissed, so is it any wonder?
I'm sure these things happen to a lot of guys and it is nothing to do with the woman.
The excitement of being with someone new, of the hubby looking on etc. Fortunately the women were appreciative of my other efforts and willing to wait for seconds and/or another meet.
On one occasion I couldn't rise, but I had been having phone sex with her until the early hours the previous night, so was knackered, and then drove to hers the next day and promptly got pissed, so is it any wonder?
I'm sure these things happen to a lot of guys and it is nothing to do with the woman.
Quote by mdr2000
Happened to me.. many times! First 3 months of meeting people it was up and down but normally at the wrong times lol.. No reason just had a mind of his own. I'd be as horny as hell, rampant waiting for things to start then... 'Hello wheres he flucked off to now' sort of thing.. Hated it and even thought about giving up on things playing wise.. but as time went on and we saw couples more than once things soon relaxed.. thankfully the ladies concirned were as understanding as you seem to sound and things now (touch wood) (Pardon the pun) are fine lol...
Nerves... plain and simple and the more you worry the more it happens lol..
I thought it was 'just me' too... Yeah right!
Mike x
Similar thing here - only ever stopped play once (Which I was ABSOLUTELY gutted about - how can you be soft as heck with a gorgeous woman waiting for you). As you say - like with most men I imagine - it's all a matter of being relaxed and comfortable.
Sadly it's often a downward spiral at the time - the more you think the more you worry and the more you struggle.
Sex God
Finnsmags I think you were just perfect in the way you dealt with it. I only hope 'J' reads this and understands really that it is no big deal.
This is so true! Particularly the mind bit. Most of my stimulation comes from the mind but sometimes my mind is going 19 to the dozen - nerves anxiety call it what you will. Then I realise the physical manifestation is sort of neglected shall we say. It is so embarrassing.
Superman72 - agree on the alcohol thing.
Some great posts in this thread guys!
.
Quote by blueandpink
So to summarise I think the mind affects us quite significantly and I think the reassurance you gave the guy during and after is great.
pink x
This is so true! Particularly the mind bit. Most of my stimulation comes from the mind but sometimes my mind is going 19 to the dozen - nerves anxiety call it what you will. Then I realise the physical manifestation is sort of neglected shall we say. It is so embarrassing.
Superman72 - agree on the alcohol thing.
Some great posts in this thread guys!
.
There wasn't a hint of disappointment from us at all and that's why i'd love to try again with him .
He'd made it a great meet by being so attentive , gentle and considerate . The fact i was so comfortable and horny was down to him and i told him so.
We had a nice text last night from him hoping for another meet in the New Year .
He's hoping !!
He'd made it a great meet by being so attentive , gentle and considerate . The fact i was so comfortable and horny
was down to him and i told him so. We had a nice text last night from him hoping for another meet in the New Year .
He's hoping !!
Hi Finnsmags, great forum thread and some interesting replies too. Great to hear everyones points of view on the subject. Really interesting
I only recently discovered the forums here, even though i've been a member for about 3years
I can't believe i hadn't discovered them sooner
And thanks Dawnie for welcoming me to the forums.
Thank you!
I only recently discovered the forums here, even though i've been a member for about 3years
I can't believe i hadn't discovered them sooner
Quote by Dawnie
Excellent post Superman and nice to see you joining in :thumbup:
Why can I imagine you typing away with your pants over your tights:lol2:
And thanks Dawnie for welcoming me to the forums.
Thank you! 