Unloading, barely contained rant!!

16 Nov 2004

Two weeks ago I was asked to phone my mum-in-law`s social worker. He was concerned that she seemed to be running out of food, after a `report` from her care workers, and as she`d mentioned I was getting a job, they put two and two together, came up with five, and assumed I`d quit taking her shopping.
She ran out of milk.....I hadn`t realised she didn`t want to re-establish her milk delivery after she came out of hospital, so hadn`t made other arrangements.
I checked her care book, and there was an entry concerning how they had `rang` around to organise someone to bring her bread..........
WHY THE FUCK THEY DIDN`T CHECK THE FREEZER IS BEYOND ME!! mad

She has a fridge freezer, the freezer is directly under the fridge. It`s not hard. There were two loaves in there. Instead they phoned her social worker to complain I was neglecting her.
Last week I noticed that none of the conveniant meals I`d brought her had been eaten, including the one I left in the fridge so it would be noticed, which they left to spoil. She has a couple of freezer to microwave plates, which I try to fill with home-cooked, and we plump up the rest with convenient meals, you know, the ones which take about eight minutes in a microwave. There are only a few of these she can eat due to a food intolerance, so she also has various tins of soup, frozen mash, microwave steam veg, and main dish, such as fish etc, all of which can be combined and would take a matter of minutes in the microwave. After last week I left her with about a fortnight`s worth of meals, and since the care workers seemed to have ignored a note I left on the fridge they use every time they visit, I left a note in the care book, reminding them that MIL has just come out of hospital weighing 5st 7, and needs a hot meal every day, please could they see that she is fed the stuff I am providing, as MIL tends to forget that the meals are there (they already know that she is unable to use the microwave as yet)
So, MIL phones me today to tell me that they want to know my address so they can write me a letter, and that they have complaining that they don`t have the time..........
to put a bloody box in the microwave and press zap mad

Instead they have the time to put bread in a toaster, butter it, and give her that instead!
Someone please tell me why they are there?! They used to visit everyday, three times a day, but such is her independance she doesn`t need that much care, which I`m happy to know. She goes to a care center three times a week where she gets a meal, and the morning care-workers found themselves with nothing to do because she was capable of getting herself up and washed. She is also capable of making herself toast. It`s the microwave she tends to avoid, how bloody hard can it be to swap toast for nuked dinners?! Especially since she is one of thier easiest patiants?! They have been able to drop three visits a day, every day, to an evening visit, as such I persuaded MIL to swap her hot meal time to the evening.
Don`t get me wrong, I have the utmost respect for careworkers.......
the ones who actually do their job that is.
I am sick to fucking death of throwing out good food that I can`t even afford to buy my own family! (she gets the good stuff!)
I`m so mad I forgot to be funny.
Sorry
Ok, as you were, I feel better already :mrgreen:
Venusxxx

16 Nov 2004

Come here Venus!! :therethere: :therethere: :therethere: :therethere:

16 Nov 2004

Bloody hell, I bet you're glad to have that off your chest hun. My mum had similar probs when she was trying to get my nan's help sorted..have every sympathy for you :therethere:
Bev
xx

16 Nov 2004

Sadly, every profession, no matter what, contains employees which are a bit on the felty side, ruining it for everyone else.
I just end up writing extremely sarcastic letters to the relevent people in those kinds of situations. smile

16 Nov 2004

Oh and just ignore that sarge, he's been picking on me cos he's a bit of a git lol

16 Nov 2004

Awwwww Venus!!!! I really sympathise with you hun......just chill out with a bottle of wine and things will look better in the morning.....

16 Nov 2004

Venus,
If they are infact intending to write to you then what I would suggest is that you pre-empt them by writing a letter of complaint to them.... State that you have provided stable meals and instructions to the care workers to issue them but they have ignored your requests and therefore you have been left with wasted food. Then go on to tell them that unless you receive a full report on this matter that you will be issuing them with a bill for all the wasted food....
That will get a response wink

Shireen
xxx

16 Nov 2004

Venus, I can only imagine how annoyed I'd be in these circumstances, so here's a :therethere: til you get it sorted. I'm sure getting it all in writing to us has helped at least a little bit, but I think Shireen has come up with a bit of fantastic advice there!

16 Nov 2004

Venus, I would contact the care workers' management if I were you. It sounds as though the care workers are not being supervised as closely as they need to be.
Mike.

16 Nov 2004

Quote by freckledbird
Oh and just ignore that sarge, he's been picking on me cos he's a bit of a git

Now, now, that`s a little harsh. I`m willing to bet he`s a reasonable man. Now Sarge, since you rubbed my head, are you willing to let me rub yours?!

:twisted:
Thanks all :love:
Shireen, that`s a great idea, albeit a little aggressive for me, especially since one of the careworkers who visit at least once is a neighbour! I shall use that advice if I have to. What I was planning to do was to see how many meals have been ignored when I go there tomorrow, and phone her social worker. I need to find out what`s been going on with the Occupational Therapists visits anyway.
When her husband died I was given so much enthusiastic info on what they were planning to do for her, including an OT to help her get to grips with the kitchen...........I seem to be the only one whose followed through, or at least it seems that way.
I can take some of that education on myself, or suggest that they set the microwave up (put the meal in, and leave the door open so she can take it from there) but that isn`t the point, it`s the lack of effort and blame placing which is getting to me. I leave very nice notes, what`s thier problem?! rolleyes

Venusxxx

16 Nov 2004

Urgh, sorry if I`m slow (thanks Mike), my connection is pants tonight.
Thanks for the thoughts, and advice, I`ll log in tomorrow and see if I have more luck!
Venusxxx

16 Nov 2004

Shocking.

16 Nov 2004

Quote by VenusnMars
Oh and just ignore that sarge, he's been picking on me cos he's a bit of a git

Now, now, that`s a little harsh. I`m willing to bet he`s a reasonable man. Now Sarge, since you rubbed my head, are you willing to let me rub yours?!

:twisted:

I don't know !! You try and be nice to people and what do you get?? Your head grated!! Ah well. rolleyes

16 Nov 2004

Best of luck Venus, and I hope that having a little rant on here has made you feel better - I am sure it has. It always feel better when you say these things, even to a virtual audience. Real friends should always be ready to listen for you and I have found this community on here to be packed full of real friends.
Let us know how it goes. I know what this place is like and I know that I won't be the only one who will be wondering how you are getting on until we hear from you again.
Will kiss

17 Nov 2004

Good advice from Steph, Venus. Hit them where it hurts. They really don't like it when they realise you know so much about their workings and reporting structure!!
Other than that, just cut and paste your comments from here and change nothing!!! lol

Hope everything gets resolved as well.
Mal
cool

17 Nov 2004

hello venus and mars, if you ever need to have a rant, i have 2 ears and 2 shoulders..both yourself and mars are always welcome to use them..anytime biggrin

17 Nov 2004

Aw babe. hugs to you hunny - give em what for!!!

17 Nov 2004

Ta very muchly people biggrin

Too tired to give much of an update (edit, I lied!), aside from the letter was waiting for me when I got there. I was asked to ensure I provide convenient meals as the care workers do not have time to cook and prepare a meal. It included a footnote that this would also meet health and safety standards.................
(Bilko, ONE word about my cooking and I WILL slay you :huh smile

I found another meal I had to dispose of, a filled yorkshire pud, which takes 20 minutes in the oven as opposed to 8 minutes in the microwave. Was my buying something which takes 12 minutes longer unreasonable? They had opened it, but must have seen the cooking time, so put it back.
I can understand the reluctance toward zapping something which has no official instructions (health and safety and all that), but cannot understand why this has not been an issue with meals I have prepared and frozen in the freezer to microwave plates (with lids) she has, in the past. She only has two of these, and I have been looking for more (Betterware, Mothercare, online) but to no avail. What I have been doing instead is buying separates, which can be put together to the same effect on the day (eg. tinned meat, microwave veg and spuds). These are often ignored. Perhaps food I`ve bought with a view to ME cooking for the plates has had them worried (chicken drumsticks etc)? These are left in the freezer for me to fill her plates at a later date.
Couldn`t get hold of the social worker (will try again tomorrow), and was thinking of leaving a note, but I`m tired, and knew any note I was likely to write would involve sentances like.............
`If you can find conveniant meals which won`t give her the shits, please let me know`............or
If health and safety can`t get thier heads past the fact that MIL is food intolerant and cannot eat many of the meals offered in a conveniant range, she`s screwed, advice please.`
Or `Whats the fucking problem with the fish pie that`s been sat in her freezer for three weeks then?!`
Not constructive.
It doesn`t help when MIL views many meals which possibly does meet her food rules as spawn of Satan food. She won`t do foreign, she won`t eat anything has large packaging, and last week, after telling me she hadn`t had porridge for an age, told me that `eww, I wasn`t eating porridge`, after I found that too, off in the fridge. So I am aware, that she is not easy either.
She tells me that some of her more regular careworkers are quite happy to zap her meals, but other more recent visitors haven`t been.
If health and safety is an issue, how safe or healthy is it to not feed her decent meals at all after she`s recovering from a bout in hospital which has left her pretty wasted, just because they come in three packets as opposed to a cardboard box?
Today I cooked some fishcakes, and a vegetable burger, which did take about 25 miutes, and filled her plates up with micro veg and spud, when these run out they will have to put extra fishcakes (precooked) and the micro veg together themselves............after the cauliflower cheese I bought last week and fishpie are used.
Will this be an issue I wonder?
Steph, thanks so much for the offer, and thanks for reading the thread, your knowledge is very much appreciated. I`ll keep posting here however, because I`m sure I`m not the only one here who has disabled/elderly relatives to look out for, so your advice would be helpful to many smile

On a brighter note, we got to take home the `evil drinking chocolate`................evil because it didn`t come in a red tin confused

Oh, and the Smash which has been ignored too.
Venusxxx