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Unusual euphemisms

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Freckledbird
Sex God
I've just read in a profile, a phrase which I'm sure, means wanking. The phrase is 'hand to gland combat' - made me giggle!
Anyone heard any other funny euphemisms?
Unknown User
rotflmao nice one!
I've heard of ..
"shaking the tree"
"parting the curtains"
"using my pork sword" :shock:
lol
thebrummies
Sexlightened
"100% all-beef thermometer"
sigh... sadly I had a boyfriend who used to refer to his penis as this... didnt last long....
MikeNorth
Sex God
Coitus interruptus:
Alighting at Watford Junction.
(or Ealing Broadway, or Finsbury Park)
Unknown User
"Attending a seminar" - to colleagues at work who were also going, in front of others - meaning going to a sex party or a visit to a certain type of club
Plim wink
Stormwalker
Sex God
I was watching a program the other day about the historical accuracy or otherwise of “wreckers” people who cause or profit from a ship wreck. They were talking to a Scillonian guy about a wreck that had occurred some years ago, and he had been one of the folks who had made off with stuff from the site. The presenter asked if he considered it wrecking, “Nope” he replied, “I call it aggravated beachcombing”
Made me laugh…. lol
westerross
Sex God
Quote by Freckledbird
I've just read in a profile, a phrase which I'm sure, means wanking. The phrase is 'hand to gland combat' - made me giggle!

Could be wrestling with an unruly pair of mammaries but I think I prefer your take on it.
A bit innocuous but I was tickled by 'pointing percy at the porcelain'.
I always thought 'strangling the monkey/chicken' to be euphemistically undignified but who am I to judge?
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