Using prostitutes mmmmmmmm

13 Feb 2007

Back to the question: presumably the prostitute you hired did what you required her to do (within reason) and was directed by you and your partner, as this was a commercial arrangement and she was hired and paid by you.
This would (I hope) be an entirely different scenario to meeting up with someone via a swinging site for mutual fun. The person you meet would come along with their own ideas about what they want from the encounter. It might take more adjusting to on your part than you realise.

13 Feb 2007

Good now we have a reasonable debate. lol

13 Feb 2007

Quote by MikeNorth
Back to the question: presumably the prostitute you hired did what you required her to do (within reason) and was directed by you and your partner, as this was a commercial arrangement and she was hired and paid by you.
This would (I hope) be an entirely different scenario to meeting up with someone via a swinging site for mutual fun. The person you meet would come along with their own ideas about what they want from the encounter. It might take more adjusting to on your part than you realise.

You may well be right there re differant scenario, but after this thread I may have fucked up any chance of meeting with a bi-female anyway

13 Feb 2007

Not every bi female reads the forum x

13 Feb 2007

Quote by Reggie2006
Back to the question: presumably the prostitute you hired did what you required her to do (within reason) and was directed by you and your partner, as this was a commercial arrangement and she was hired and paid by you.
This would (I hope) be an entirely different scenario to meeting up with someone via a swinging site for mutual fun. The person you meet would come along with their own ideas about what they want from the encounter. It might take more adjusting to on your part than you realise.

You may well be right there re differant scenario, but after this thread I may have fucked up any chance of meeting with a bi-female anyway
you meen " we" dont you m8 ?
and i think you may be ok wink

13 Feb 2007

Quote by Drewxcore
Not every bi female reads the forum x

Well if they do they may get some idea of my personality , or lack of. lol

13 Feb 2007

Alright....group hug everyone....even you Drew rolleyes

13 Feb 2007

Quote by Mr-Powers
Alright....group hug everyone....even you Drew

must i :roll:

13 Feb 2007

Quote by sercher01
Back to the question: presumably the prostitute you hired did what you required her to do (within reason) and was directed by you and your partner, as this was a commercial arrangement and she was hired and paid by you.
This would (I hope) be an entirely different scenario to meeting up with someone via a swinging site for mutual fun. The person you meet would come along with their own ideas about what they want from the encounter. It might take more adjusting to on your part than you realise.

You may well be right there re differant scenario, but after this thread I may have fucked up any chance of meeting with a bi-female anyway
you meen " we" dont you m8 ?
and i think you may be ok wink

It was me who started this thread so I do mean me in that sense.
Hopefully 'we' can meet a lady for some fun.

13 Feb 2007

Quote by Mr-Powers
Alright....group hug everyone....even you Drew

:thumbup:

13 Feb 2007

Forgive me but it seems your talking about you in the singular when your looking for a “ 3som ffm” correct me if im wrong ( im sure someone will) but you should be thinking of your partner as you’re the one who is up for it and it sounds to me your trying to “persuade” her to go with someone on here?
Just an observation ( single male )

13 Feb 2007

Quote by sercher01
Forgive me but it seems your talking about you in the singular when your looking for a “ 3som ffm” correct me if im wrong ( im sure someone will) but you should be thinking of your partner as you’re the one who is up for it and it sounds to me your trying to “persuade” her to go with someone on here?
Just an observation ( single male )

Maybe I've come across wrong, I would not, could not persuade my wife to do anything she did not want to do.
And if you knew her, she would not do anything she didn't want to do.
She has come up with the idea of going to a swingers party for her birthday, which is in March, so we're thinking about that at the moment. But as we haven't been to one before we don't really know what to expect.

13 Feb 2007

Quote by Reggie2006
We have talked about getting a woman off this site to join us & at the start she was very up for it, but now she's cooled on the subject.

maybe its just me but I think you should sit down and have a chat ?
maybe a club first dunno

I think im the wrong person to give advice on this
Someone will be along soon to point you and your Wife in the right direction im sure
good luck :thumbup:

13 Feb 2007

Quote by MikeNorth
Back to the question: presumably the prostitute you hired did what you required her to do (within reason) and was directed by you and your partner, as this was a commercial arrangement and she was hired and paid by you.
This would (I hope) be an entirely different scenario to meeting up with someone via a swinging site for mutual fun. The person you meet would come along with their own ideas about what they want from the encounter. It might take more adjusting to on your part than you realise.

I think Mike has a very good point here.
Whilst you were paying a prostitute there was no emotion involved.

We have talked about getting a woman off this site to join us & at the start she was very up for it, but now she's cooled on the subject.

Has your wife told you why she's cooled to the idea?
I can come up with several reasons in my head as to why she might, but they may be concerns that can be discussed.
If it is the emotional element then there are more anonymous( dunno

can't think of a better term for it)ways of swinging then building friendships attending all the munches /socials etc. that may suit her better.
If it's not the emotional thing then it's hard to give an opinion without knowing why so ignore the above :P
As you've said you have no intention of trying to 'force' or persuade her against her wishes it really does come down to communication; communication; communication; so that you can be sure you are both happy with the decisions that you make.
Jas
XXX

13 Feb 2007

well ermm i'm put off you already, i have had to stop meets simple because men on her saw me as a well yep a way to save money mad

, unfair on those that for now have lost out, but its truely hurfull i will properly get over it , but for now no...
i maybe the dog at the end off the cue, but i'm a person just like the rest, i think, i have been know to seem caggie in chat but i wonder why? rolleyes

:roll:

13 Feb 2007

Laird -

Thank you, I was reading through this thread becoming more and more irritated with the reaction this poor guy has had, your post has saved me from posting something that would have been much ruder than yours!
Reggie, I apologise for the collective idiocy of most of the responses in this thread.
As far as your question - I think the decision is whether you're just interested in the 'ticking it off the list' kind of experience of having a threesome, in which case a prostitute makes sense and is probably a much easier and less time-consuming way than getting involved with the swinging community, getting to know people, finding a person who you both fancy and 'click' with and who fancies you as well... the swinging scene isn't a quick shag site. On the other hand, if what you're looking for is making swinging / group sex / involving other people in your sex life a regular thing, or if you're interested in the community, it is worth putting in the time and effort to get involved here.
The benefits of swinging - you know the other person actually wants YOU, not just your money. You know they are actually enjoying themselves rather than putting on a good show. You also have the potential for making some good friends, discovering a new social circle, having all sorts of experiences that expand your horizons in so many other ways than the purely sexual.
Personally, when I first toyed with the idea of a threesome (with an ex), we talked about prostitutes and I vetoed the idea because I didn't like the idea of paying someone to shag me, I would have found it uncomfortable. On the other hand, I can see that there's less risk of emotional involvement with a prostitute.
On that point, though - if the risk of emotional involvement / infidelity is a problem for you guys, you should probably have some serious chats before you think about swinging. No sexual experience is worth risking your relationship, and if swinging is going to make one or both of you horribly insecure or jealous, then steer clear and just keep doing what works for you.
Either way, welcome to the forums, and I hope you're not too badly put off by the pathetic response to this thread. evil

Cocoa xxx

13 Feb 2007

Quote by Drewxcore
perhaps you should get yourselves checked out to make sure you havent caught anything before u start meeting people off here

That's a bit unfair Drew, you are implying they had unprotected sex not to mention implying the lady in question was "unclean", it is pure speculation that prostitutes have STD's.
On another note Reg, I would have thought if you were a member of this site you would have been better off getting to know people here, it's cheaper. :shock:

13 Feb 2007

Quote by jaymar
On another note Reg, I would have thought if you were a member of this site you would have been better off getting to know people here, it's cheaper. :shock:

as has already been said, and personally, i wouldnt want to be seen as a "cheaper" option for a threesome. in that, i wouldnt want the fact that im "free" to be the main reason for a couple meeting me. a similar debate to that of "single bi female status" vs "person" maybe?
wink

13 Feb 2007

Take sex out of the equation for a minute, would you pay £300 for something you can get for free, do you do all your shopping at Harrods? A joke was made and that’s it. And for the record prostitutes are human and no different from you and I apart from the profession they chose, I’m a chef and If I invited you round to my place for a meal I wouldn’t ask you for money, but if you came into the restaurant where I work for a meal you would have to pay. And speaking as a male the majority of men on here are out for what they can get as are females or am I missing something? After all it is a swingers site.
Sorry but in reality we are a cheaper version than escorts no matter what way you look at it, just like walking somewhere is cheaper than taking a cab, that is of course unless you have something against prostitutes or escorts.

13 Feb 2007

Quote by solofun
Sorry but in reality we are a cheaper version than escorts no matter what way you look at it,

i have to disagree. a swinger is not a cheaper version of an escort. a swinger has sex for enjoyment, not for payment. of course i firmly believe many escorts and prostitutes do enjoy their work, but it is work. a profession, as you said.

13 Feb 2007

Quote by sexkittenhfx

Sorry but in reality we are a cheaper version than escorts no matter what way you look at it,

i have to disagree. a swinger is not a cheaper version of an escort. a swinger has sex for enjoyment, not for payment. of course i firmly believe many escorts and prostitutes do enjoy their work, but it is work. a profession, as you said.

Agreed, Sexkitten :thumbup:

13 Feb 2007

Quote by jaymar
perhaps you should get yourselves checked out to make sure you havent caught anything before u start meeting people off here

That's a bit unfair Drew, you are implying they had unprotected sex not to mention implying the lady in question was "unclean", it is pure speculation that prostitutes have STD's.
On another note Reg, I would have thought if you were a member of this site you would have been better off getting to know people here, it's cheaper. :shock:
I wouldnt call a prostitute unclean. They are at the front line and are put at risk every night because the people they meet just might be infected. If you use a prostitute then you can never know if the person they were last with had an STI, the same does also of course apply to "normal" people.
I'm well aware that prostitutes take precautions, if you e ever in amsterdamn you will notice that everything is always so clinical within a prostitutes booth, they also have certificates on show that prove that they have regular checks.
It was just my view that since this guy's wife did have unprotected oral sex with the prostitute then they should get checked out before meeting people on here.

13 Feb 2007

I think the swinging scene also attracts people who have unprotected sex so really every sexual encounter potentially has a risk element. Do we really know the sexual history of all the people on here who meet? Unless they come with a very up to date certificate from a STI test how would you really know. We dont.
I think the fact a business transaction with a prostitute has taken place makes it a different experience to one which I have come to believe is what the swinging community looks for. It can be based upon a range of values that differ depending on what people are looking for
I dont feel the need to justify what I do nor am I standing in judgement of other and their preferences as long as everyone is consenting.
I am sure having a swinging community has not made any real difference to the oldest trade on earth - prostitution. I personally think that if I knew however the person I was with had been with a prostitute it might make me think twice about that person, not because of STI but because it doesnt fit my personal value sets.

13 Feb 2007

Quote by sexkittenhfx

Sorry but in reality we are a cheaper version than escorts no matter what way you look at it,

i have to disagree. a swinger is not a cheaper version of an escort. a swinger has sex for enjoyment, not for payment. of course i firmly believe many escorts and prostitutes do enjoy their work, but it is work. a profession, as you said.

I never said a swinger was a cheaper version of an escort i said "WE" are, escorts do it for money we do it for pleasure, so we both do it for gain, but its nice to see you even have someone to give you the thumbs up even though you seen my words in a different context, unless off course like stated before you have a problem with escorts.

13 Feb 2007

Quote by solofun

Sorry but in reality we are a cheaper version than escorts no matter what way you look at it,

i have to disagree. a swinger is not a cheaper version of an escort. a swinger has sex for enjoyment, not for payment. of course i firmly believe many escorts and prostitutes do enjoy their work, but it is work. a profession, as you said.

I never said a swinger was a cheaper version of an escort i said "WE" are, escorts do it for money we do it for pleasure, so we both do it for gain, but its nice to see you even have someone to give you the thumbs up even though you seen my words in a different context, unless off course like stated before you have a problem with escorts.
i took your use of the word "we" to mean we as members of this site, swingers. i dont think it was inapropriate to do so.
im not sure what youve read into freckledbirds :thumbup: icon to me? and what different context did i see your words in?
i dont have a problem with escorts, if ive made a comment to make you think so would you be so kind as to point it out please, rather than infer.

13 Feb 2007

Quote by flower411
perhaps you should get yourselves checked out to make sure you havent caught anything before u start meeting people off here

That's a bit unfair Drew, you are implying they had unprotected sex not to mention implying the lady in question was "unclean", it is pure speculation that prostitutes have STD's.
On another note Reg, I would have thought if you were a member of this site you would have been better off getting to know people here, it's cheaper. :shock:
I wouldnt call a prostitute unclean. They are at the front line and are put at risk every night because the people they meet just might be infected. If you use a prostitute then you can never know if the person they were last with had an STI, the same does also of course apply to "normal" people.
I'm well aware that prostitutes take precautions, if you e ever in amsterdamn you will notice that everything is always so clinical within a prostitutes booth, they also have certificates on show that prove that they have regular checks.
It was just my view that since this guy's wife did have unprotected oral sex with the prostitute then they should get checked out before meeting people on here.
But the fact remains that the guy posted a question and made it clear that it was his first post.
He wasn`t sycophantic and didn`t beg you to accept him into the cafe, so you went for the throat and started slagging him off right from the start.
Believe me, I hated the post and felt it was wrong on so many levels but there was really no reason to start accusing him, his wife and the escorts/ prostitutes of having std`s and of not taking care.
I have to say well done to Reggie for sticking up for yourself and hope that the people in here who have nothing better to do all day, haven`t put you off.
:thumbup:

13 Feb 2007

@ sexkittenhfx
Sorry i was just questioning your motives as to why you think you or i are different to escorts or should i say not a cheaper version of an escort, most people who use escorts do it for the purpose of nsa sex, ie no commitment, isn't that what we do if we go out and have a one night stand or swing? the difference being escorts charge money and aren't as selective but surely they both have the same purpose? you could say some prefer the social side of things but some don't and tend to do it for sex, so i can't understand why someone was being jumped on for saying those words even though it was done in a joking sort of way.
and this is not aimed at you or anyone in particular
Then there’s the clique word that seems to come into these type of debates all the time, that’s all nonsense it bullying pure and simple, there’s some that stick a few words in then set back and enjoy once everyone has bitten, just a read through this thread shows that’s, there’s no clique here, there’s some people who like to bully and some who like to stir things up.

13 Feb 2007

Quote by sexkittenhfx

On another note Reg, I would have thought if you were a member of this site you would have been better off getting to know people here, it's cheaper. :shock:

as has already been said, and personally, i wouldnt want to be seen as a "cheaper" option for a threesome. in that, i wouldnt want the fact that im "free" to be the main reason for a couple meeting me. a similar debate to that of "single bi female status" vs "person" maybe?
wink

Noooooo :shock: ... I didn't say WE are a cheaper option but being members of this site is a cheaper, safer option than hiring a protitute. And in any event, most people subscribe on here so therefore it's paid for and therefore technically people are "paying" to meet people for sex, it's just a safer environment. smile

13 Feb 2007

Quote by sexkittenhfx

Sorry but in reality we are a cheaper version than escorts no matter what way you look at it,

i have to disagree. a swinger is not a cheaper version of an escort. a swinger has sex for enjoyment, not for payment. of course i firmly believe many escorts and prostitutes do enjoy their work, but it is work. a profession, as you said.

I never said a swinger was a cheaper version of an escort i said "WE" are, escorts do it for money we do it for pleasure, so we both do it for gain, but its nice to see you even have someone to give you the thumbs up even though you seen my words in a different context, unless off course like stated before you have a problem with escorts.
i took your use of the word "we" to mean we as members of this site, swingers. i dont think it was inapropriate to do so.
im not sure what youve read into freckledbirds :thumbup: icon to me? and what different context did i see your words in?
i dont have a problem with escorts, if ive made a comment to make you think so would you be so kind as to point it out please, rather than infer.
I was agreeing with what Sexkitten said Solofun, and the bit in red is where you said it - I also read your comment as 'we' meaning the swingers on this site.

13 Feb 2007

Quote by Drewxcore
It was just my view that since this guy's wife did have unprotected oral sex with the prostitute then they should get checked out before meeting people on here.

There were 3 different rooms open relating to 'bareback' in the chatrooms the other day... one room having 70 people in it.
There are members on this and many other swinging sites who are also sex-workers. In the main they are here for the same reason as most other people - to enjoy recreational sex (though some do try touting until they are caught).
There are people on here who fuck more men in one session than some sex-workers do in a week/month.
Who is to say whether that girl you 'know' so well hasn't been for a test and in the two week period waiting for the results to come through didn't drop her pants for one of the guys from the bareback sex room?
So... may be people should just have regular check-ups regardless of where the last casual shag came from.