Join the most popular community of UK swingers now
Login

Verification

last reply
1.0k replies
44.7k views
4 watchers
0 likes
hmmmm dunno, can't think of anyone (non-genuine of course) who wouldn't want to confirm that i wasn't shaggin em when i said i would be (possibly).
Well then as far as we can work out from the poilcy that conforms in so far as it has to confirm that when you want to be known as unknown you can opt out of opting in to the system providing you have been passed and certified as being someone who doesnt exist in the reality of anyone elses fantasies.
i have a headache now confused
must go and have sex (with my completely non verified hubby), it's bound to make me feel better lol
And I still can't get in the fecking Chatroom!! :taz: :taz: :taz: :taz: :taz: :taz:
we think that ..although some ppl may b a bit sceptical at 1st ...
on the whole of it ...surely ppl must feel better and safer chating 2 some 1 that is verified
and gen....when sending pics ..tel numbers..and other things....
especially if those ppl r new them selves......
also
you may not get on .....if you do meet up ...but at least you know that the ppl r gen ...
and not just some one messing around ....obviously.....you will still get ppl messing ..but at least you have a better chance ....with ppl that you know r gen +
this must b a good thing in the long run.....
we do nigel anne...
Can anyone lend me an english-textese dictionary ?
Quote by Silk and Big G
Can anyone lend me an english-textese dictionary ?

rotflmao :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
Quote by nigel-anne-nw
we think that ..although some ppl may b a bit sceptical at 1st ...
on the whole of it ...surely ppl must feel better and safer chating 2 some 1 that is verified
and gen....when sending pics ..tel numbers..and other things....
especially if those ppl r new them selves......
also
you may not get on .....if you do meet up ...but at least you know that the ppl r gen ...
and not just some one messing around ....obviously.....you will still get ppl messing ..but at least you have a better chance ....with ppl that you know r gen +
this must b a good thing in the long run.....
we do nigel anne...

i think you have just pointed out in the 1st paragraph what we all fear....
if you are talking to people who are varified... then what chance does anyone else have... the beginning of the "elitism" how do new people fit it.....how do people tell that the unvarified people are not genuine......
it is just a whole can of worms....
i would like the here how day one has gone.....
sean xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
It's a trial period.
There are bound to be a lot of fors and againsts and no doubt this is the period when people are going to have the most vociferous opinions.
One 'surefire' way of making sure the trial fails is for everyone that has been verified to ask the list administrator to take their names off the list. If nobody wants the verified status then it's obviously not going to be worth doing. As it stands though the list is growing.
Steve
Hasn't one of the key parts of it failed already, if the 'anonymous' verifiers can be seen to be verifying by anyone who is running mirc? I'm not so can't see but it has been pointed out earlier in this thread. If that's right, then anyone running mirc will know exactly to whom they should appeal for verified status. The chat room ops will then be unable to moderate the room as effectively as they have up to now, because they will be fending off requests for verification. At the very least, it will soon become very clear to other chatters (non mirc), who the verifiers are.
The chatroom ops add the +V to users names, from a list supplied by the list admin............ The admin does not/ cannot add the status to a user as he/she/they do not have chatroom Op status.
i also think that newcomers to the chat room and indeed to swinging, might be put off by the verified people, seeing them as 'hardened' swingers. Maybe the verification process will work against those verified as much as it could work for them?
Maybe it will fail if people opt not to accept verified status, but surely people have the right to choose not to accept it, or to be deemed verified and a 'genuine player' by someone they may not even know (therefore they have been discussed)?
I can't help but think there will be a point at which this discussion will loop back to the beginning and, in so doing, will distort the fabric of space and time so much that everyone in existence will spontaniously turn to strawberry jelly and, what with all the heat of the excitement, melt. In fact I suspect this may have already happened.
Well, further to what Steph has just said about not being asked about whether she wanted to be verified or not...
I've just been into the chatroom (see Sarge? I can do it! :lol2smile Only to find that I'M verified!! :shock: :shock: :shock:
Firstly what I'd like to know is who exactly verified me??? I think it's known by more or less everyone that I haven't played since the NW Munch last May! Yes, I held the Ann Summers party, and I've been to a few munches now, but that doesn't make me an active swinger........ does it??
I don't have too much of a problem with it, I was only in there for about 10 minutes anyway and we had a bit of a laugh at the irony of the fact that I don't play but have a + while there are lots of active swingers in there who were UNverified but wanted to get the +
I'll send an email to the verification team to ask for it to be removed, but it just goes to show that there really are some teething problems if this kind of thing is happening.
A quick afterthought, please don't PM asking me to meet to shag so I can verify you, because I won't :lol2:
Quote by Angel Chat
I'll send an email to the verification team to ask for it to be removed, but it just goes to show that there really are some teething problems if this kind of thing is happening.

A self-appointed committee making arbitrary decisions on behalf of people they haven't even had the decency to consult is not a "teething problem", it's a clear indication of the dictatorial thinking behind this whole thing. Although the chat room isn't really part of Swinging Heaven per se, except for the link and the borrowed name, I do worry that this tacky little episode could reflect badly on the reputation of the site by association.
thats funny Angel hun..
Cos I kinda thought I'd be a cert for an automatic +
Spend an average of 5 to 12 hours in the room a day
Been an op
Played with ops
Played with moderators
Been to SH parties
Been to Munches and played at clubs after the Munches with SH members.
And guess what... yup I'm not.
As it happens i dont wish to have the + so it saves me an email. After sitting in the room and watching I've come to the conclusion that it may not be right. I'm real worried that this is going to make new swingers feel alienated... It must be a nightmare to be genuinly interested in the whole volume of chapters that involve swinging and to go thru the process of registering walking into a fast paced and sometimes hard hard room to be automatically "unbranded" as a non "genuine" member. In my opinion SH is mainly here to help ALL swingers and give them a home where they can belong and feel part of a community and hopefully enlighten their lives.... making new people into immigrants until they get a + passport is discrimination and i think its a hard hammer to use to try and weadle out the non-swingers. In my experience as a helper we lose more genuine swingers in the chatroom due to the way they feel left out of the "clique" . The most common remark from new people is " how do i get to be part of this?" The long term chatholics in the room can spot " genuine " peeps a mile off and it's encouraging when they take time out to gather them in and make em feel welcome. If this + stops just one couple from venturing into our world we've paid a heavy heavy price. Just my opinion ...
.xX Joanne Xx.
hmmmmmmmmmmmm!!!!!!!
this has gotta be the single worst, most divisive, most nonsensical, most pandering, most clique establishing idea, i have ever ever seen!
SH is a resource! and it involves many kinds of people! some people come here as swingers already, some people come here out of curiosity wondering if they can swing, and SH helps them discover that, some people come here purely because the people here are some of the best you could ever hope to meet. some like to forge a friendship before they even consider the kind of intimacy involved in swinging! you are now seeking to discount god knows how many members who might wanna swing with you, but haven't yet earnt a little + !!
so . . . we are now saying, if you go into the chatroom, and you don't have a + before your name, well clearly you're a timewasting twat who deserves no further recognition? obviously a newbie, or non-swinger, or whatever. what happened to the advice we all dish out to newbies? get to know people? establish friendships? discover "like minded" people? a common phrase the like minded thing. you'll hear it everywhere! so that's all bollox now is it? all it takes is a + before your name, and jobs a good un!? dunno
we now have a system that panders to the "i can't tell who's a real swinger" mentality? well, sorry, but surely it's much easier for all concerned, and that includes ops and site admin and mods as well as you lot, to actually talk to someone, and discover if they might want to swing with you? it's not tricky! that's what chatrooms are for! you just type things into a little box, and people respond. it's really that easy! they're either swingers who wanna swing with you, or they ain't. try putting a little effort in. you want it all done for you with a little + ? does the little + mean that they won't get cold feet and decide you just ain't for them, or is it a guaranteed shag, just cos they've shagged someone on the site they know before? :dunno:
does the verification system mean that people will go all out for a simple shag with a verified member, that doesn't really suit you all, and kinda defeats the whole point of swinging as far as many members are concerned, just so they can get a little + too? will they now pursue people who either have a little +, or know people who can get them a little +, not cos it's a kind of sexual exploration thing that has you mutually satisfied, but rather cos well actually without the little + you can give them they're nothing on this site? i like to think if someone wants to shag me they wanna shag me personally, not my virtual chatroom status.
and who do you think is gonna get pm'ed to death now? those non + members or those with a little + ! so the ops really wanna look like they're defending the clique all the time by kicking the trolls who bombard the members with a + ? well lets see where the complaints arise then? glad i ain't opping the room with that kinda pressure i can tell you!
i'm struggling to martial my thoughts on this, cos i find the whole idea ludicrous! who gives me the + ? a committee? that i may not know? and if i do know 'em and they give me the + does that make me part of a cliquey elite? so all it takes is i shag a mod at a party somewhere, and suddenly i'm part of the SH chatroom incrowd?
what if i don't know the committee, or don't want the + cos actually it might serve to give the wrong idea? how do i win then? i either have it, and assume a certain status i may not want, or i reject it, and assume a certain status i may not want? what if i actually don't want the committee to know that i've shagged someone? possibly discretion counts? what then? so we aren't swingers cos we try to be discrete? or do we just seek the first opportunity to shag someone on the committee? oh well that's a novel approach to the whole issue of "like-mindedness" that we all cherish, and the "instant shag brigade" that we all reject isn't it?
catch 22 all round that one eh?
this has got to be the most divisive decision i can imagine, on a site that has always prided itself on it's inclusiveness?
what an absolute nonsense! and i'll get accused of a knee jerk now, but sorry this has got to be something that the members here that i think i know fight against.
youaintseenmerite x x x x ;)
If your name fits within the Clique you gat a Plus is the way I see it.
Then I am always wrong
Medic1
Quote by HornyBear
Questions for the proponents: What problem exactly is the system trying to address and who wanted it?

I don't know who wanted it, but now I've thought it through I'm in favour of it. The problem it's supposed to address is that new genuine people are being put off SH by what currently goes on in the chatroom.
There are so many fakes and chancers in the room that the regulars generally ignore any newcomers (apart from a polite hello or two) until they have been around for a while without being kicked. This leaves the newcomers talking to OTHER newcomers, which generally means single males with no manners who think they are in for a quick shag.
I suspect we lose a LOT of people because the behaviour of non-regulars in the chatroom puts them off before the regulars start to talk to them, especially since newbies don't have the 'anti-unwanted-pvts' reflex that the regulars have.
Quote by Jewcy_Joanne
If this + stops just one couple from venturing into our world we've paid a heavy heavy price. Just my opinion ...

A good point, but the real question is does it stop more people from venturing into our world than the current system where new arrivals get bombarded with pvts from other newbies does?
It's not a perfect system, but the question is "is it a better system"?
youaintseenmerite x x x x

Is it welcome back Neil?
Quote by Mister_Discreet
I don't know who wanted it, but now I've thought it through I'm in favour of it. The problem it's supposed to address is that new genuine people are being put off SH by what currently goes on in the chatroom.
There are so many fakes and chancers in the room that the regulars generally ignore any newcomers (apart from a polite hello or two) until they have been around for a while without being kicked. This leaves the newcomers talking to OTHER newcomers, which generally means single males with no manners who think they are in for a quick shag.

I'm sure this is very true, but I'm not sure how I follow that the verification system is going to help newcomers in this regard. If anything I could imagine the opposite would happen; because newcomers don't have the magic '+', surely regulars will be _less_ likely to talk to them and they'll be stuck talking to others without the '+', who are statistically more likely to be single male pillocks?
What am I missing here?
Quote by Angel Chat
Firstly what I'd like to know is who exactly verified me??? I think it's known by more or less everyone that I haven't played since the NW Munch last May! Yes, I held the Ann Summers party, and I've been to a few munches now, but that doesn't make me an active swinger........ does it??

Wouldn't surprise me if the initial "verified list" was little more than a list of "mates of the shadowy Administrator". I imagine something like this - "Hmmm, who can I put on this list - hey, that Angel_Chat, she's a nice woman, I'll put her on the verified list".
I imagine "they" wanted the system to start out with a critical mass of verified users in order to help push acceptance of the verification scheme. After all, if it were just three couples and a labrador that were verified, chances are most people wouldn't bother.
mmmmmmmmmmm this reminds me of the masons :shock
secret hand shakes and if you aint in the "in" crowed piss off :shock:
and no i dont care if you dont like my opinion cause im an ADULT:
Quote by freckledbird
i also think that newcomers to the chat room and indeed to swinging, might be put off by the verified people, seeing them as 'hardened' swingers. Maybe the verification process will work against those verified as much as it could work for them?

i was thinking the same thing myself.
there's a another board (not specifically for swingers) where subscribed members get gold status, priority listings etc... nothing wrong with that, anyone can subscribe, the webmaster needs an angle to fund the site and it's an open system (unlike this one). over time though, i noticed that I was more interested in chatting to people who weren't 'gold', so actively seek them out by searching from the back of the list etc. of course, if the goldies prefer talking to other goldies, then the system suits both. As in this case, because i haven't the energy or the time to develop a fake chat room persona, with or without the being vili... sorry verified.
on the other hand, thanks are due to the people that came up with this idea... it's spilled over into a lively forum discussion encompassing so many interesting issues.
personally i'm adopting the mathematical symbol "*" - mutiplication is far superior to addition ;)
:laughabove: oooooooooooohhhhhhhhh handbags at dawn mad
niether of you should be airing this in public GROW UP ffs
OK, so...... to summerise before this thread becomes a personal slanging match...... let's keep to the facts, shall we!
For the verification system to work you have to be able to differentiate between players and non players. To do that there must be a qualitative difference between the two. I would arge that as the players on SH are so diverse (even in the chat room confused ) and the definition of "non player" covers anyone the regs don't know (player or not) as well as those that chose not to play, that catagorising people into two groups is not possible.
However, if the powers that be think it is then they must have a bullet proof definition that correctly catagorises people into one of the two camps. This definition must be constant..... changing the definition to suit the situation or the latest fad does not work and will only serve to undermine the system with bad feeling and resentment. Not good and I'm sure the powers that be do not want this to happen. So - have you got such a definition?
No you don't!
Steve-D body swerved the issue yesterday, yet admitted that the definition was a a "compromise" :shock: and was subject to change :shock: :shock: :shock: - so, therefore, it is clear that the said definition does not work at all.
Then assuming that the powers could find a defition that works, it has to be implemented fairly..... at the mo that is not happening. people have been verified who do not wish to be verified for a start - that is absolutely out of order! People have been openly "Outed" as being players - assuming the powers considered that doing this would be an honour for them???? - jeeeez! As has been said very eloquently some people prefer to keep their private lives to themselves!
Indeed, this is a closed shop and I can't see any way that that will change in this system. By definition of verification, people will + the ones they know.... so if only people known to the others in the room get a +, what's the point of it anyway???? What will happen is the at the top of the room list you will get a collections of +'s who all chat to each other, while the dregs are left at the bottom. Nice one guys! SH is already accused of being cliquey - seems you have now invented a system that shows the world that it realloy is!
I said yesterday, I would HATE to be verified. I went to check that my username was still without the + yesterday.... and it was..... phew..... obviously I have never shagged one of the powers that be (or maybe they have forgotten :? )..... yet, I have been in sexual situations with probably more users of SH than most of you have! So...... people not in the know assume I am not a player...... little do they know! :twisted:
Let's face it guys, it doesn't work!
Anyway system like this will not work cos we don't need a system at all! Even though the room is transient in its langauge unlike the forum, we are still talking about real poeple who have a history. Those poeple are friends..... they do not need a + to show everyone else that they are friends!
I might be back when I think of something else that I forgot!
Quote by Ice Pie
I'll send an email to the verification team to ask for it to be removed, but it just goes to show that there really are some teething problems if this kind of thing is happening.

A self-appointed committee making arbitrary decisions on behalf of people they haven't even had the decency to consult is not a "teething problem", it's a clear indication of the dictatorial thinking behind this whole thing. Although the chat room isn't really part of Swinging Heaven per se, except for the link and the borrowed name, I do worry that this tacky little episode could reflect badly on the reputation of the site by association. Since when as the chatroom not been part of SH ?????????????
It seems to me that any new system needs a 'bedding in' period to test the practicality of the theory. If it proves unworkable or divisive then guess what - we dump it! Simple really... I'm positive that the owners of SH do not want to be seen as totalitarian master-controllers, bullies or even plain nosy as to our sexual acitivities but as owners of the site they identified a problem and are attempting to find a solution for it.
I can't speak for newbies who enter SH and find a system in place that they may or may not understand and how they will react to it as I'm not a newbie but the point here is that the system they find in place will be the only system they know of in SH and they will accept it more easily than those who have been here a while and know how the site used to operate. They will also know, once they have fully understood what the + means, is that there are people in the chat room that they can turn to for advice and assistance if needed. I don't believe for a second that people without a + will seek out those with a + just to get a +. We are human beings with emotions and physical attractions, not just a name with or without a +, and if someone doesn't 'push my button' so to speak then I for one ain't gonna shag them regardless of whether they want a + or not and likewise if I don't appeal to them sexually they are not gonna shag me to get one either.
On of the basic problems in the chat room was newbies pm'ing uninvited - and yes it was mainly a males pm'ing females problem, but........some newbies need information and guidance to help them use the features of this site - we do not all have the same intelligence levels and some grasp things more quickly than others so a little patience is required here as new swingers are the lifeblood of this community.
Now I'm not an OP in the chat room but if someone pm's me uninvited I will not seek to have them booted if their pm is GENUINELY about swinging and how to get involved in OUR COMMUNITY. Three important words there: GENUINELY and OUR COMMUNITY.
From my understanding of it, the verification system was developed to establish GENUINE people from time wasters, teenage assholes let loose on Dad's PC for an hour or two and single males coming in from pubs n clubs on a Saturday night/Sunday morning looking for an easy fuck and getting alcohol-induced abusive when a shag was not forthcoming.
If this system helps GENUINE new people to swinging become accepted by the regulars then it is a good system. If it creates elitists then those people need to be told that they are not elite in any way, shape or form ... the system will work if the people using it don't become what they are trying to avoid.
It must also be accepted that some people do not want a + against their names for whatever reasons they might have - and they shouldn't have to explain why either - and in such cases the system provides for people genuinely concerned about having a + tacked on to their nickname. All they have to do is email the Admininistrators and ask to be excluded from the system.
When we joined SH we were all sent a welcome email. This email should now include a link to a page on the website where the verification system and the other established rules are read (or at least viewed - as you cannot force people to read something).
On this web page there should also be a checkbox whereby clicking it they have stated that they have read and understood the rules. Only then should their account/s be activated.
The purpose of this?
They will only be able to get into the site if they have been through this process and they know of the rules by which we operate. They will understand about the chat room, the forum and the personal ads. They may still seek one-to-one assistance from established regulars but they will at least know the rudimentary rules of the site.
It's not a bad system - just give it time. I'm sure any hiccups can be sorted over time. Remember, every new baby needs burping from time to time.
Wishmaster.
Hmm, a few points to throw into the debate:
Firstly, why do people assume that newbies will be ignored by verified people? Surely verified people are more likely (and more able) to welcome genuine newbies into the fold than randomly chosen chatroom users? My exeperience of people likely to have a + is that they are always ready to welcome the genuine newbies who read the rules and want to join in.
Secondly, the verification system isn't complete yet, many people who probably qualify haven't got their + yet (me for example) so it's a bit unfair to judge the effects of the sytem before it's all in place.
Thirdly, the system does still serve it's purpose of directing newbies to genuine people even if a large number of eligible people opt out - in fact I suspect that having a large number of opt-outs will actually help the system, since it will mean a lot of the conversation in the channel will be between + and non + people, rather than the cliquey + only room that some are imagining.