Verification

14 Nov 2004

Quote by northwest-cpl
Surely the whole point of this is that it merely identifies people that DO have sex, either soft or full. It shouldn't affect how people react to those who only want social interaction. If they talk to you now and they know what your limits are, why would the lack of a + make any difference?

Because it will cause people to make an assumption, namely the assumption you just made: Just because someone hasn't played with a member of the elite, why does that mean they don't want to play, and if they don't want to play right now, or they're shy, or they're still finding their feet, how does that justify anyone making judgements about their "limits"?
What assumption was that Ice? And where is there any mention of an elite?
Lack of a + would in no way mean that someone doesn't want to play. On another site we weren't verified because we didn't have an advert. Had we wanted to be verified we could have put on an advert and asked the very many verified couples that we have met to verify us. We didn't then, and don't really now, feel that need. We really don't go short either because we play out every week.
As to limits, surely if you want to meet for full sex you will not meet someone who only wants a drink and vice versa. Why is that a judgement on people's limits? People often tell us that we are too hardcore for them. Is that a judgement on our limits or their right to choose?
However, for the people in the chatroom that are actively looking for meets to have sex rather than to socialise, this form of verification will make a difference. Will it make things harder for new people to meet? Possibly. But who would you meet...someone you met at a munch or someone you've only seen online? Should we ban munches because people that haven't been to a munch might find it difficult to meet those that have?
The obvious assumption is that people who haven't been verified are not genuine or that they do not want to play. How are new people going to get involved if they are prejudged on the basis of not being verified? If they're not going to be prejudged, why do you need verification? There's no way out of it, either verification serves to create a division, or there is no point to it. That is what I mean by elite.
I fail to see the relevance of your questions about munches. Nobody has suggested that they serve to distinguish the genuine from the non-genuine, whereas it looks to me as though verification has that express purpose. dunno

14 Nov 2004

Does this mean we have to fuck someone to get in the chat room ??

14 Nov 2004

Quote by Silk and Big G
Does this mean we have to fuck someone to get in the chat room ??

Venusxxx

14 Nov 2004

Quote by Silk and Big G
Does this mean we have to fuck someone to get in the chat room ??

No, it just (apparently confused

: ) means nobody will meet you if you haven't fucked one of the elite.
Actually, no, I've just realized, it means the elite won't fuck you unless they've fucked you already, which is even more bizarre.

14 Nov 2004

Quote by Silk and Big G
Does this mean we have to fuck someone to get in the chat room ??

No of course not - you have to fuck someone who's already verified

:rotflmao:
Tracy-Jayne

14 Nov 2004

I live with one !

14 Nov 2004

Quote by Silk and Big G
I live with one !

Ahh! Well you're *in* then :lol2:

14 Nov 2004

At the risk of offending the Python team.
No One expects the Swinging Heaven verifiers!

14 Nov 2004

I give up - I'm obviously missing the point... I've read the page over and over and I just can't see any point to it other than to divide the community. Maybe I'm having a blond day. dunno

14 Nov 2004

Quote by Ice Pie
Does this mean we have to fuck someone to get in the chat room ??

No, it just (apparently confused

: ) means nobody will meet you if you haven't fucked one of the elite.
Actually, no, I've just realized, it means the elite won't fuck you unless they've fucked you already, which is even more bizarre.
Ice, your logic is impeccable! cool

14 Nov 2004

OOh theres a 'page' !!? We havent had a new one of those for like ................hours . Do link us , we like a confused giggle and were right out of class A's.

14 Nov 2004

Quote by Silk and Big G
OOh theres a 'page' !!? We havent had a new one of those for like ................hours . Do link us , we like a confused giggle and were right out of class A's.

The one in Mike's opening post, and what does the quality of eggs have to do with anything? ;)

14 Nov 2004

Genetically its very important . Ask any IVF expert

14 Nov 2004

Quote by Ice Pie
Maybe I'm having a blond day.

Oi thats my excuse you cant have it!! flipa

:smug:

14 Nov 2004

I hardly believe that the majority of people using the chatroom when verification has started will ignore all those without the sign and only chat with those with the sign. If they do then they are just excluding a lot of potentially good chat/swing friends. There are bound to be a few people who leap to judgments about others, but that happens already, for example couples who won't even say hello to single males, let alone chat with them. Most people are open to introducing themselves to anyone who sounds reasonable, and I see no reason why that won't continue.
Mike.

14 Nov 2004

Quote by MikeNorth
I hardly believe that the majority of people using the chatroom when verification has started will ignore all those without the sign and only chat with those with the sign. If they do then they are just excluding a lot of potentially good chat/swing friends. There are bound to be a few people who leap to judgments about others, but that happens already, for example couples who won't even say hello to single males, let alone chat with them. Most people are open to introducing themselves to anyone who sounds reasonable, and I see no reason why that won't continue.
Mike.

If thats the case then what is the point??If your gonna carry on using it as you did before then why change it??

14 Nov 2004

Clare_Lincs wrote:

If thats the case then what is the point??If your gonna carry on using it as you did before then why change it??

Because it just takes away the risk (or most of it) that if you arrange to meet up with someone, that they will turn out to be timewasters.
Mike.

14 Nov 2004

Quote by MikeNorth
Clare_Lincs wrote:If thats the case then what is the point??If your gonna carry on using it as you did before then why change it??

Because it just takes away the risk (or most of it) that if you arrange to meet up with someone, that they will turn out to be timewasters.
Mike.
But how would that change if you still got to know everyone in the same way confused

14 Nov 2004

Panic over! Weve read "The Page" and realised its just about the chat room ( and who goes in there anyway ?) .
Although I gotta say having frequented chat rooms full of swingers all over the net the chances of the quality of conversation going up is very slim . My guess is the vast majority of exchanges will go like this .
' were going to X and Y's for dinner tommorow night '
' bet we know what you'll be eating lol '
'mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm'
' id tell you what was on the menu but its secret '
' Z knows what we mean . Ey Z ?? :-) '
'mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm'
(single VERIFIED male interjects)
' I dont suppose you need me to serve the sausages do you LOL '
' you can serve me sausage any time mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm '
Etc Etc Etc
Ah well at least it may cut down on those cryptic non-inclusive threads on the forum I guess which can only be a good thing .
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

14 Nov 2004

Quote by MikeNorth
Clare_Lincs wrote:If thats the case then what is the point??If your gonna carry on using it as you did before then why change it??

Because it just takes away the risk (or most of it) that if you arrange to meet up with someone, that they will turn out to be timewasters.
Mike.
Sorry Mike, I STILL don't see it. If it's to eliminate time-wasters, surely you're presuming that anyone unverified IS a timewaster? Or at the very best, you're restricting yourself to those who are known not to be, which as I said just closes the group.

14 Nov 2004

I didn't say everyone. From what i can see quite a few people just chat - and that shouldn't change. I'm not defending verification, I'm like everyone else, just waiting to see how it goes, but I just don't believe that it will necessarily change everything in the room - I might be wrong. Nobody can tell, can they.
I like your new pics by the way, Clare smile

Mike.

14 Nov 2004

We've discussed what to do about timewasters lots of times..... this thread related to the forum but I think the issues raised here are still relevant to the chat room also:
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopicpage/1707/60.html
There are several other threads discussing this issue too....... seems to have been un-popular with forum members for a long time.
I feel like a newbie every time I log into the chat room, I have to say that I find the idea of having "verified" members quite off putting.... and I really don't understand the logic behind it
confused

:? :?

14 Nov 2004

Quote by Silk and Big G
Panic over! Weve read "The Page" and realised its just about the chat room ( and who goes in there anyway ?) .
Although I gotta say having frequented chat rooms full of swingers all over the net the chances of the quality of conversation going up is very slim . My guess is the vast majority of exchanges will go like this .
' were going to X and Y's for dinner tommorow night '
' bet we know what you'll be eating lol '
'mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm'
' id tell you what was on the menu but its secret '
' Z knows what we mean . Ey Z ?? :-) '
'mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm'
(single VERIFIED male interjects)
' I dont suppose you need me to serve the sausages do you LOL '
' you can serve me sausage any time mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm '
Etc Etc Etc
Ah well at least it may cut down on those cryptic non-inclusive threads on the forum I guess which can only be a good thing .
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

c'mon it aint that bad ...sometimes some oooohs and aaahs get thrown in

14 Nov 2004

Perhaps one of the senior op's would come in and clarify things, but as I understand it the system has been set up after repeated requests from room users.
Some users feel that it is a way to weedle out timewasters when trying to arrange a meet etc.
I'm sure most room users access the room to chat and not arrange meets from, so personally I feel it is totally unworkable, but it's here and for the time being it will remain confused

Tracy-Jayne

14 Nov 2004

I for one would certainly like this idea explained cos I really don't see the logic dunno

14 Nov 2004

Quote by MikeNorth
I didn't say everyone. From what i can see quite a few people just chat - and that shouldn't change. I'm not defending verification, I'm like everyone else, just waiting to see how it goes, but I just don't believe that it will necessarily change everything in the room - I might be wrong. Nobody can tell, can they.
I like your new pics by the way, Clare
Mike.

I await the outcome with interest Mike. I'm not attacking it really, I'm just having a really hard time trying to understand the point of it. My interpretation of it is something I definitely don't like, but I'm willing to be shown that my interpretation is wrong. biggrin

Ice

14 Nov 2004

Sorry Mark, could you run that by me again? I kinda lost the thread when you mentioned `cock in hand............` :mrgreen:
Venusxxx

14 Nov 2004

Venus............ are you for real???? wink

Frogster +++

14 Nov 2004

She was last time I looked silly

hwoar:
Nothing to add as safe in knowledge Mark wont bring us verification to the Cafe, Ice and I had long chats on this and fully go with his worries on it but had to reply to frogster smile

14 Nov 2004

The impact of the system will depend on the individual, and their perceptions of the swinging , while orgasmic (was that the word you used Mark?) is inanimate. How it works will be a reflection of the people using it, not the system itself.
Some new swingers will be re-assured when they are talking to verified users.
Some new swingers will be put off by verified users, perceiving them as 'hardened' swingers who may go just a little to fast for them.
Some new swingers will be so confident in their own judgement, they will ignore whether a user is verified, and make up their own mind.
Some new swingers may be reluctant to pull out of a meet with a verified member that they feel uncomfortable about for fear of "blowing their chances"
Some swingers will target un-verified members as esy pickings.
Some swingers will target target verified members as trophys.
And yes, some swingers will not talk to you unless you are a verified user.
It will vary for individuals, the overall impact will only be seen once it has been up and running for a while. And as someone said, if it does not work, you can always ditch it and try something different.
lhk
Kat