Hi all,
I've been lurking on here for a little while and am now breaking my forum virginity, cos I may be about to break my swinging virginity.
Recently, my darling wife and I began a tentative conversation about how we both felt about swinging. We’ve been together for more than 20 yrs and are childhood sweethearts (aaaahhh (rarely aaaargh)). The conversation remained fairly neutral but ended with us having some of the best sex we have had in a long time.
A few days later I went looking for some info on the web and discovered this most excellent website. It’s been a real eye-opener finding so many like minded people and your postings have helped me to continue the conversation. I even printed some of the stories for us to read and enjoy. Our Sex life has been fantastic over the last few weeks.
This week I’ve received an enormous shock. My wife has gone ahead and arranged for a friend of ours to come to our house this Friday night with the intention of us both having fun with her. Just like that.
The friend is a gorgeous little thing and great fun. I’ve always known that she is a bit lively and believe she has some group sex experience. I never expected to get this opportunity and I didn't expect things would move so quickly. I’m very nervous and tremendously excited.
This is such a big step for my wife and I, one part of me says we may be going too fast whilst another part of me says we might as well just go for it. I’m taking nothing for granted and don’t even know if we should or will go through with it.
Would anyone care to offer any advice or pointers to help ensure the evening goes well? TIA.
Gez
P.S. I feel a bit cheeky asking for help in my first post but promise to contribute back to the site when I can.
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virgin advice
Hi & Welcome
I am renowned for my advice and well thought out comments so I thought I would give you the benefit!
If you have discussed with your wife and both feel comfortable then that is a good start. However, the tester may be that she may ask for you to have a mfm in the future, afterall she may feel that its only fair. If youre happy to do that then - go for it!
One step at a time and go at the speed of the slowest.
Not bad hey?
I am renowned for my advice and well thought out comments so I thought I would give you the benefit!
If you have discussed with your wife and both feel comfortable then that is a good start. However, the tester may be that she may ask for you to have a mfm in the future, afterall she may feel that its only fair. If youre happy to do that then - go for it!
One step at a time and go at the speed of the slowest.
Not bad hey?
Dunno if i can offer advice.... but it is nice to see someone who has sat back and learned a bit over a few weeks and isn't coming in as the Big I Am. Nice one fella ! :thumbup:
The only advice I would offer is: imagine if it was your wife who had been surprised with you setting up a mate of yours. I know it's different in a lot of ways, and if you are happy with it, then that is fine... but both of you have to be 100% happy with the arrangement. Maybe just have a fun night without the expectation of anything with your missis and her mate , and see what, erm... comes up!
And can we have a full de-brief???
The only advice I would offer is: imagine if it was your wife who had been surprised with you setting up a mate of yours. I know it's different in a lot of ways, and if you are happy with it, then that is fine... but both of you have to be 100% happy with the arrangement. Maybe just have a fun night without the expectation of anything with your missis and her mate , and see what, erm... comes up!
And can we have a full de-brief???
Quote by Happy Cats
Hi & Welcome
I am renowned for my advice and well thought out comments so I thought I would give you the benefit!
If you have discussed with your wife and both feel comfortable then that is a good start. However, the tester may be that she may ask for you to have a mfm in the future, afterall she may feel that its only fair. If youre happy to do that then - go for it!
One step at a time and go at the speed of the slowest.
Not bad hey?
Who stole Happy Cats? And who is this imposter!
We want the old MCB back, not this soft headed bootleg version...
Quote by postie
Hi & Welcome
I am renowned for my advice and well thought out comments so I thought I would give you the benefit!
If you have discussed with your wife and both feel comfortable then that is a good start. However, the tester may be that she may ask for you to have a mfm in the future, afterall she may feel that its only fair. If youre happy to do that then - go for it!
One step at a time and go at the speed of the slowest.
Not bad hey?
Who stole Happy Cats? And who is this imposter!
We want the old MCB back, not this soft headed bootleg version...
Not the Happy Cats we know.......far too sensible a post!! :wink:
Quote by gezntez
This week I’ve received an enormous shock. My wife has gone ahead and arranged for a friend of ours to come to our house this Friday night with the intention of us both having fun with her. Just like that.
Would anyone care to offer any advice or pointers to help ensure the evening goes well? TIA.
Gez
P.S. I feel a bit cheeky asking for help in my first post but promise to contribute back to the site when I can.
The only advice I would offer is a word of caution. Have you thought through the possible effect it could have on the friendship? Many years ago, before we were properly in the swinging scene, we played with friends and lost 2 very good friends because of it. It seems the ideal situation because you know the other people, but adding sex to an existing relationship does not always work. We would never mix swinging with friends outside the scene now. Other than that, good luck and I hope it goes well.
Top class considerate replies, thank you and hello. There really is an awful lot of warmth on this forum.
There’s no doubt about it, a big dilemma I have is "what happens when it’s time for another fella to get involved." I’m pretty sure I’ll be fine, no I’m not, yes I am, no I’m not, yes I……….
I genuinely do like the idea and think I’ll be fine if and when an mfm (mffm?) happens but how can I tell for sure? I’ve great confidence in our relationship but the fact is we’ve never done anything like this before.
Our friend lives some way from us now and we see her only occasionally. I know it may seem callous to risk the friendship but tez thinks it’ll be fine and it seems much easier to begin with someone we both know and find attractive, rather than trying to find someone new.
I hope I don’t sound like too big a wimp, I’m really not usually, but with so little time I wanted to put my questions out here and take the best advice I can before, erm, taking the plunge.
P.S. I will definitely come back to let you know what happens, de-briefing or not.
Gez
There’s no doubt about it, a big dilemma I have is "what happens when it’s time for another fella to get involved." I’m pretty sure I’ll be fine, no I’m not, yes I am, no I’m not, yes I……….
I genuinely do like the idea and think I’ll be fine if and when an mfm (mffm?) happens but how can I tell for sure? I’ve great confidence in our relationship but the fact is we’ve never done anything like this before.
Our friend lives some way from us now and we see her only occasionally. I know it may seem callous to risk the friendship but tez thinks it’ll be fine and it seems much easier to begin with someone we both know and find attractive, rather than trying to find someone new.
I hope I don’t sound like too big a wimp, I’m really not usually, but with so little time I wanted to put my questions out here and take the best advice I can before, erm, taking the plunge.
P.S. I will definitely come back to let you know what happens, de-briefing or not.
Gez
Sex God
Not sure you need any advice. Seems your doing fine. It might be worth you satisfying yourself that your friend really does want to do it and that the boundaries wrt anything that might affect the friendship are clearly drawn before you commit.
Don't think you necessarily have to worry about being happy with a MMF before the FFM 'cos the latter may be all either of you are interested in anyway.
Have fun - lucky pair you!
Don't think you necessarily have to worry about being happy with a MMF before the FFM 'cos the latter may be all either of you are interested in anyway.
Have fun - lucky pair you!
Look, I've just got to speak up.
Why does this always happen in the Midlands?
When is someone going to enter into swinging with a spare lady friend down in London?
The question needs to be asked!!
GeznTez - hello and nice to have you here. I'd say Welcome, but I've not been here too long myself so that might be presumptious - but I am sure you are.
Listen to the advice you get given - the people here DO know what they are on about.
Steph won't steer you wrong.
Why does this always happen in the Midlands?
When is someone going to enter into swinging with a spare lady friend down in London?
The question needs to be asked!!
GeznTez - hello and nice to have you here. I'd say Welcome, but I've not been here too long myself so that might be presumptious - but I am sure you are.
Listen to the advice you get given - the people here DO know what they are on about.
Steph won't steer you wrong.
Sex God
Like others have said, make sure all are happy with what is going on and enjoy yourselves
Sorry but i also believe that you should never mix swinging with friends, unless of course they are friends you have made thro the scene.
Just think to yourself if you swinging with this lady and things go wrong, ie after you regreat it etc then how are you going to feel about seeing her again, you could possabily loose a friend where as if you meet someone thro the swinging scene then if you decided not so see them again its not great lose, i myself have met a few people where things have not gone to plan and i have wished never to see them again, now had that been a friend i would have lost that friend all because you are good m8s outside the bedroom that does not mean u will carry that into the bedroom too.
I just find it better to keep the two sides of my life apart i would not wish to have my frinds coming round on a daily basis flirting with my hubby etc i like to arrange to meet swinging friends but 'nomal' m8s just turn up when they like as thats what m8s do and i wouldn't want the two to mix
Just think to yourself if you swinging with this lady and things go wrong, ie after you regreat it etc then how are you going to feel about seeing her again, you could possabily loose a friend where as if you meet someone thro the swinging scene then if you decided not so see them again its not great lose, i myself have met a few people where things have not gone to plan and i have wished never to see them again, now had that been a friend i would have lost that friend all because you are good m8s outside the bedroom that does not mean u will carry that into the bedroom too.
I just find it better to keep the two sides of my life apart i would not wish to have my frinds coming round on a daily basis flirting with my hubby etc i like to arrange to meet swinging friends but 'nomal' m8s just turn up when they like as thats what m8s do and i wouldn't want the two to mix
Quote by naughtynymphos1
Sorry but i also believe that you should never mix swinging with friends, unless of course they are friends you have made thro the scene.
Just think to yourself if you swinging with this lady and things go wrong, ie after you regreat it etc then how are you going to feel about seeing her again, you could possabily loose a friend where as if you meet someone thro the swinging scene then if you decided not so see them again its not great lose, i myself have met a few people where things have not gone to plan and i have wished never to see them again, now had that been a friend i would have lost that friend all because you are good m8s outside the bedroom that does not mean u will carry that into the bedroom too.
I just find it better to keep the two sides of my life apart i would not wish to have my frinds coming round on a daily basis flirting with my hubby etc i like to arrange to meet swinging friends but 'nomal' m8s just turn up when they like as thats what m8s do and i wouldn't want the two to mix
I couldn't agree more. For us swinging is seperate from our everyday life thats whats fun about it. We have mixed swinging and friendship and the friendship ended.
Warming the Bed
Gez
Nice 1st post mate - literate, sensible and good subject matter - if only all newcomers could be the same.
Now, on to the real reason for posting my reply.
You lucky, lucky, lucky, lucky, lucky, lucky, lucky (you get the idea!) b***ard
:giggle: :giggle: :giggle:
Seriously, I hope it all goes well for you on Friday - I'm sure that as a couple that are as sensible as you sound, things will go OK. Don't forget the de-brief! Oh, and don't forget to tell your friend about here!
Nice 1st post mate - literate, sensible and good subject matter - if only all newcomers could be the same.
Now, on to the real reason for posting my reply.
You lucky, lucky, lucky, lucky, lucky, lucky, lucky (you get the idea!) b***ard
:giggle: :giggle: :giggle:
Seriously, I hope it all goes well for you on Friday - I'm sure that as a couple that are as sensible as you sound, things will go OK. Don't forget the de-brief! Oh, and don't forget to tell your friend about here!
We asked for advice and are so very pleased we got it. Thank you all for your kind words.
Having read your intuitive messages we’ve had a rethink. We decided that the point raised about playing with friends is too important for us to ignore. Having thought through all of the possible connections if things went wrong, we realise it was too risky. It’s clear we hadn’t thought this through properly and we need to slow down.
We’re having a proper ol’ natter about what it is we’re doing this for and what we do want and don’t want to see happen. The big idea is for us to have great times with each other and the truth is we’re having that right now just by reading and thinking about you horny buggers.
We’ll take things a bit more steadily and make sure we know what each step means to us as a couple. When we talked through all of your messages last night we realised that there are several important points we haven’t discussed fully. As long as we can learn from you all and ask each other the right questions we’ll be alright.
We’ve postponed Friday night for now (Sorry to anyone who was looking forward to the gory details:-) ).
Having read your intuitive messages we’ve had a rethink. We decided that the point raised about playing with friends is too important for us to ignore. Having thought through all of the possible connections if things went wrong, we realise it was too risky. It’s clear we hadn’t thought this through properly and we need to slow down.
We’re having a proper ol’ natter about what it is we’re doing this for and what we do want and don’t want to see happen. The big idea is for us to have great times with each other and the truth is we’re having that right now just by reading and thinking about you horny buggers.
We’ll take things a bit more steadily and make sure we know what each step means to us as a couple. When we talked through all of your messages last night we realised that there are several important points we haven’t discussed fully. As long as we can learn from you all and ask each other the right questions we’ll be alright.
We’ve postponed Friday night for now (Sorry to anyone who was looking forward to the gory details:-) ).
Sex God
Good post,
Just keep talking to each other, be open and honest about what you both really want.
Then sort out some middle ground and go from there.
(see this forum does give good advise sometimes, and we are not all mad, as some would have us believe)
Just keep talking to each other, be open and honest about what you both really want.
Then sort out some middle ground and go from there.
(see this forum does give good advise sometimes, and we are not all mad, as some would have us believe)
Quote by gezntez
We asked for advice and are so very pleased we got it. Thank you all for your kind words.
Having read your intuitive messages we’ve had a rethink. We decided that the point raised about playing with friends is too important for us to ignore. Having thought through all of the possible connections if things went wrong, we realise it was too risky. It’s clear we hadn’t thought this through properly and we need to slow down.
We’re having a proper ol’ natter about what it is we’re doing this for and what we do want and don’t want to see happen. The big idea is for us to have great times with each other and the truth is we’re having that right now just by reading and thinking about you horny buggers.
We’ll take things a bit more steadily and make sure we know what each step means to us as a couple. When we talked through all of your messages last night we realised that there are several important points we haven’t discussed fully. As long as we can learn from you all and ask each other the right questions we’ll be alright.
We’ve postponed Friday night for now (Sorry to anyone who was looking forward to the gory details:-) ).
As a couple I think it was about a couple of years before we actually took the plunge. Like yourselves we talked and fantasised a lot before hand and that was a turn on. Then we decided to go to a club and see what it is all about and haven't looked back since. If you ever thought about going to a club just remember you don't have to do anything. You can just go and soak up the amosphere and see if it is for you.
