i have dave j in my possession.
he is safe dont worry.
there is a slight problem with the reward though.
if we can re negotiate.. i will return him to you unharmed.
WBB
Sex God
Join the most popular community of UK swingers now
Login
WANTED - davej
Sex God
Quote by well_busty_babe
i have dave j in my possession.
he is safe dont worry.
there is a slight problem with the reward though.
if we can re negotiate.. i will return him to you unharmed.
WBB
With which part of your anatomy are you possessing him. Have you let him up for air in the last five minutes. You better check otherwise you'll be negotiating with damaged goods and you know what the brotherhood will think of that!
Quote by Dawn_Mids
How the f did this thread ever get to this stage:
certifiable the bleedin lot of ya
Don't ask me
I only put the bluddy wanted poster up and look what happens :shock:
It was all the males arguing the toss over how many Goldfish davej is worth. Personally I think we should have left it at 17 and I'm disappointed that some value him so little :cry:
Dawn :silly:
Oh Dawn, how can you suggest that Godfish don't have enormous value in their own right: they are precious. Answer me this: when you went to the fairground, and threw the three darts and tried to get them in three different playing-cards, was the Goldfish ever the consolation prize?? I think not!! That role went to musty smelling toy monkeys,as seen in Watchdog's 'Don't give this to your children if you want them to live' programme. Or, it was one of those little dolls (which is where I found my feminine side) dressed in the national costume of many of the world's countries-all of them being Scotland. But no, what I wanted-and was always the ULTIMATE..was a Goldfish to call my own.
I was determined. Being poor, we couldn't afford a bowl, so I saved my halfpennies and bought all the 'Bulls Eyes' sweets that I could , enough in fact to empty the shop-keeper's glass sweet jar. I persuaded him to let me have it (in exchange for dressing up in my school uniform and walking up and down in front of him). Oh how excited I was!!
I stole some gravel from the roadmen working outside to put in the bottom, and plopped in my precious little 'miniature diver' toy, given to me by a local gentleman who liked to feel my satchel on the way to school-don't know why...BUT I didn't have the all important Goldfish.
I tried a stickle back that i caught in the brook, but to no avail. he didn't seem to like being sprayed with Autosol 'Dayglo Orange' car touch-up paint, and promptly stickled his back no more.
I tried a bit of carrot-whittled into the perfect Goldfish shape with my Bulgarian Army Penknife (like a Swiss one but cheaper). However, it just sank to the bottom...maybe I should have used an organic carrot?
Only one thing to do. I nicked dad's darts and practiced like mad for two years. Then came the day. You should have seen the look on the stallholder's (PC term for Gypo's) face as my third dart thudded home at the heart of the third card. (he obviously didn't realise that I'd been practicing by aiming ten feet to the right to allow for the 'doctored' dart!! )
So, that's when I got Goldie. We were so happy together and played football in the fields-which he wasn't much good at. We watched snooker on the telly (which he loved-seemed fixated by Steve Davies' hair), went long country walks together (which left him a bit breathless actually) and listened to Tubular Bells together as my parents beat each other up. He was my constant companion, having learned the art of holding his breath: very advanced stuff for a Goldfish!! He was there at my first sexual encounter-with Ethel, the Barmaid from The Bull and Dog: by hell, I don't know who was gasping most, Goldie, me or Ethel!!
But, then he died: I was utterly devastated!! I wore a black armband for 6 years.
I buried him under his favourite oak tree and whittled him a lovely little wooden cross with my Irish Army Penknife (like A Swiss one but you hold it by the blade). I still go and sit sometimes, by his little grave, and talk to him. (and he talks back-but I don't tell too many people that since I've been invited to live with these nice people in clean white coats....)
Anyway, please, please Dawn, don't suggest that I don't value Goldfish. They are more valuable than anything to me....I'm off now to look at a few snaps of Goldie and me .....I could be some time ...( )
Well I was doing ok till I got to this part.........
Now I am laughing so hard I have stomach ache and damp knickers.
It never ceases to amaze me how you can turn something round and come out this :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove:
I bow to before you A.
:worship: :worship:
Dawn :silly:
Quote by agricola
But, then he died: I was utterly devastated!! I wore a black armband for 6 years.
I buried him under his favourite oak tree and whittled him a lovely little wooden cross with my Irish Army Penknife (like A Swiss one but you hold it by the blade). I still go and sit sometimes, by his little grave, and talk to him. (and he talks back-but I don't tell too many people that since I've been invited to live with these nice people in clean white coats....)
Anyway, please, please Dawn, don't suggest that I don't value Goldfish. They are more valuable than anything to me....I'm off now to look at a few snaps of Goldie and me .....I could be some time ...( )
Now I am laughing so hard I have stomach ache and damp knickers.
It never ceases to amaze me how you can turn something round and come out this :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove:
I bow to before you A.
:worship: :worship: Dawn :silly:
Sex God
warwick warwick and warwick
clearly it's been far too long since A level mate?
Agricola, nominative, singular, farmer, i believe? declines a bit like Mensa if i'm not mistaken?
neil x x x ;-)
clearly it's been far too long since A level mate?
Agricola, nominative, singular, farmer, i believe? declines a bit like Mensa if i'm not mistaken?
neil x x x ;-)
Quote by warwick:lol: :lol: :lol:
uh oh Agricola another suitable inmate
is that from the Roman?
are you a legibus scribbundi et republicae constituendae
( sorry I have an A level in Roman history)
Warwick,
Non scribbundi et republicae sum,
Fui Agricola sed nunc poetae sum.
Ivi: nunc revenio
Fui homo cum equo..
Vale
A.
ops: 
Sex God
Quote by agricola
.....Oh Dawn, how can you suggest that Godfish don't have enormous value in their own right......:
Some kind of friedian (sic) slip?
Erm............. By the way....
Does anyone know when Davej is due back??... Only he borrowed my white plastic handag and matching high heeled shoes and I need them for a dance we are going to soon.... :shock:
Cheeky fecker said he only wanted to borrow them for a day or two as well....
Shireen
xxx
Does anyone know when Davej is due back??... Only he borrowed my white plastic handag and matching high heeled shoes and I need them for a dance we are going to soon.... :shock:
Cheeky fecker said he only wanted to borrow them for a day or two as well....
Shireen
xxx
sniff sniff cry :cry:
Im beginning to think davej s not coming back
I believe WBB has him in her possesion and has used him to fill the void left by her beloved Goldfish Bob :shock:
I can see him now swimming around a giant bowl wiyth no means of escape left with ab empty feeling and the inability to ever post again
Incidentally I have not disapeared Ive just had to do some work bugger innit
Im beginning to think davej s not coming back
I believe WBB has him in her possesion and has used him to fill the void left by her beloved Goldfish Bob :shock:
I can see him now swimming around a giant bowl wiyth no means of escape left with ab empty feeling and the inability to ever post again
Incidentally I have not disapeared Ive just had to do some work
bugger innit Sex God
warwick don't panic! :therethere:
have a tissue mate. big blow! that's better.
even WBB would have to put him down sometime, and he's quite adept at all the cunning little goldfishie tricks. he'll find a way don't you worry!
he'll be splashing through strawberry cordial streams on his beloved unicorn, scattering swathes of pixies as he gallops through the morning mists before you know it mate! no, he will. i had a prophetic dream last night that the pm's stuck in my outbox were no longer there, heralding his return! i do that from time to time, the whole prophecy thingumbob, so it must be true!
neil x x x ;)
have a tissue mate. big blow! that's better.
even WBB would have to put him down sometime, and he's quite adept at all the cunning little goldfishie tricks. he'll find a way don't you worry!
he'll be splashing through strawberry cordial streams on his beloved unicorn, scattering swathes of pixies as he gallops through the morning mists before you know it mate! no, he will. i had a prophetic dream last night that the pm's stuck in my outbox were no longer there, heralding his return! i do that from time to time, the whole prophecy thingumbob, so it must be true!
neil x x x ;)
