I have acquaintences (yes I know that may come as a shock) who are getting married this year.
I am privy to the following information as I won't be invited so they are safe in telling me.
They are both in their 30's and this is the 3rd marriage for her and the 2nd for him. They are planning an engagement party which will actually be their wedding. They are having it at a venue which would realistically be used as either event and is of course licensed to hold their ceremony.
So, when they send out their invites people will think they are going to an engagement party and will in fact be watching their son and daughter tie the knot.
There reasons for doing this are several:-
. They have been married before and don't want presents.
. Their individual family and friends have supported them for so long they want to 'give them something back'
. They don't want anyone's suggestions about who to invite etc.
. They want to do it their way.
I think I have it covered.
So.... my question is. As friends/family/sisters/ brothers etc.. how would you feel if you turned up at an engagement party and discovered you were actually attending a wedding.? As a parent/sibling/close friend would you feel cheated or misled? Would you be pleased that you were one of the 'elite' that had an invite? Would you feel excited that you could actually enjoy this important event without being bored to tears with the preparations months beforehand?
My opinion? I think that I would be pleased that I missed out on the preparation, but I maybe biaised as I am currently seeking damages from my employer for the ear damage caused by a colleague who has talked of nothing but her feckin wedding for months and I have another 18 weeks and 4 days to go. Also it wouldn't happen to my close friends as they can't keep anything secret. I have no family so that is academic. I think that I wouldn't like it if my son did it. But then again if I had attended two of his already would I just be pleased that I wasn't involved the 3rd time ?
What do you think ?
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wedding.
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The only problem I can see is that the females will all be moaning cos they didn't get a chance to "dress up" for a wedding as people dress different for weddings than they do an engagement .
The guys will be chuffed to bits tho as most of them hate dressing up
The guys will be chuffed to bits tho as most of them hate dressing up
Sex God
I think it sounds a wonderful idea, saves all the fuss and bother over who to invite or some saying if they are going then we arn't etc etc etc.
If people want to give gifts they can always send them after the event.
Good luck to them.
If people want to give gifts they can always send them after the event.
Good luck to them.
Sex God
I love the idea and must confess if i was to tie the knot it would probs after the event when people find out not before - a gretna greeny jobby would do me great
Saves a lot of hassle for people and a lot less earache
would it bother me if i was invited to a wedding like that? hell no the element of suprise would be cool
Saves a lot of hassle for people and a lot less earache
would it bother me if i was invited to a wedding like that? hell no the element of suprise would be cool
Mod
Quote by X_fanny_x
hell no the element of suprise would be cool
Now there's an idea for dek
:wink: Sex God
Quote by woohoo
hell no the element of suprise would be cool
Now there's an idea for dek
:wink:More chance of hell freezing over than him saying yes (even if everythying was already planned) once bitten twice shy and all that
Sex God
Mrs Lost and I agree to disagree on this. I think the idea is a great one, it really would make me think that if it were my kids tying the knot under those same circumstances they had given my feelings a lot of consideration sparing me any anxieties etc.
Mrs Lost however feels that the idea loses out as the build up to the wedding is an important part of the whole thing in her opinion even if it isn't the first time.
Hey I have a sons and a daughter and in the future I would be happy to shell out a few grand for them and their partner 'to be' to take us and their potential in-laws to the Carribean and do a beach thing and then for us to leave them to honeymoon and come home. Hopefully for many many years to come this is not going to happen though.
Mrs Lost however feels that the idea loses out as the build up to the wedding is an important part of the whole thing in her opinion even if it isn't the first time.
Hey I have a sons and a daughter and in the future I would be happy to shell out a few grand for them and their partner 'to be' to take us and their potential in-laws to the Carribean and do a beach thing and then for us to leave them to honeymoon and come home. Hopefully for many many years to come this is not going to happen though.
thankyou all so far for your comments.
Mrs Lost- that was one aspect they are worried about. Her Mother loves organising and it has what has made her wedding days the best and worst days before. She is hoping that the polished and enthusiastic surprise will be as exciting as the build up for her mother to feel satisfied.
Mrs Lost- that was one aspect they are worried about. Her Mother loves organising and it has what has made her wedding days the best and worst days before. She is hoping that the polished and enthusiastic surprise will be as exciting as the build up for her mother to feel satisfied.
Having been a Wedding Planner I can understand the couple organising a surprise celebration. It is months and months of stress, hard work and seemingly never ending arguing and bickering between various members of the family. Although the end result was always wonderful and worth all the anxiety.
Personally, however, if it was my son or a member of my family I would love the idea of the engagement party/wedding celebration. I love surprises and would be amazed that they had managed to organise it without me (tongue firmly in cheek here).
Personally, however, if it was my son or a member of my family I would love the idea of the engagement party/wedding celebration. I love surprises and would be amazed that they had managed to organise it without me (tongue firmly in cheek here).
Sex God
Part of me thinks what a fab idea, a wedding on your own terms etc and none of the fuss.
But, and it is quite a big but for me, I just hope everyone turns up. I would be waaaay more likely to cry off an engagement party than I would an actual wedding... partly cos I think engagement parties are a bit frivolous and expensive etc etc and would feel less bad about declining the invite...
So I just hope that everyone bothers to show up and that you all have a great time!
Nola x
But, and it is quite a big but for me, I just hope everyone turns up. I would be waaaay more likely to cry off an engagement party than I would an actual wedding... partly cos I think engagement parties are a bit frivolous and expensive etc etc and would feel less bad about declining the invite...
So I just hope that everyone bothers to show up and that you all have a great time!
Nola x
Quote by noladreams30
SNIPBut, and it is quite a big but for me, I just hope everyone turns up. I would be waaaay more likely to cry off an engagement party than I would an actual wedding... partly cos I think engagement parties are a bit frivolous and expensive etc etc and would feel less bad about declining the invite...
So I just hope that everyone bothers to show up and that you all have a great time!
Nola x
ahhhh I didn't know that.. (the whole thing seems frivolous to me) So, how could they get round that then? Do people RSVP to engagements ?
and I aint going. They are inviting close friends and family and I aint either.
I had a weeks warning for my daughters, the minx!! I was the lucky one, her MIL had 24 hrs 
Personally, I think the idea is great and wish them all the best. Its on their terms in a way they want to celebrate it.
I do agree with Nola though about more likey to cry off an engagement than a wedding... def need RSVP! Ive had them for engagments before..
The clothes issue could be got round by saying on the invite its Black Tie or something?
Personally, I think the idea is great and wish them all the best. Its on their terms in a way they want to celebrate it.
I do agree with Nola though about more likey to cry off an engagement than a wedding... def need RSVP! Ive had them for engagments before..
The clothes issue could be got round by saying on the invite its Black Tie or something?
Sex God
Quote by splendid_
and I aint going. They are inviting close friends and family and I aint either.
Ahhh... head cold, not really much use at mo, clearly not paying enough attention!!
Hope they have a great time!
And yes, I reckon rsvps for this would be essential.
Nola x
Fab idea!
If it had been first time around, perhaps not-but the families have all had the big fuss-fest already.
I have a gay mate who is "marrying" his boyfriend at the end of Autumn on the QT. I feel privileged to be one of only a couple of people to be told. They simply dont want the expense & the fuss of families- some of which aren't entirely approving. They hope to literally just have the two of them, and then a big p@@@ up at the local gay pub later.
I've offered to go with them to take photo's of their special day, as they know they can trust me not to spill the beans.
I think it's really romantic. A wedding is about two people- not 200!
If it had been first time around, perhaps not-but the families have all had the big fuss-fest already.
I have a gay mate who is "marrying" his boyfriend at the end of Autumn on the QT. I feel privileged to be one of only a couple of people to be told. They simply dont want the expense & the fuss of families- some of which aren't entirely approving. They hope to literally just have the two of them, and then a big p@@@ up at the local gay pub later.
I've offered to go with them to take photo's of their special day, as they know they can trust me not to spill the beans.
I think it's really romantic. A wedding is about two people- not 200!
goodness me... thankyou all for your feedback. I have spoken to them about their arrangements. (I am thinking of charging them) and they are definately now going to have RSVP and cater accordingly.
They are going to suggest a dress code.
They had already thought of and dismissed the idea of alluding to something bigger than justan engagement 'do'. They have taken the stance that if they give people enough notice and are important enough to them then they will attend.
As a parent I think I would be gutted not to be involved but I don't know their parents and just hope they will have a more positive opinion.
They are going to suggest a dress code.
They had already thought of and dismissed the idea of alluding to something bigger than justan engagement 'do'. They have taken the stance that if they give people enough notice and are important enough to them then they will attend.
As a parent I think I would be gutted not to be involved but I don't know their parents and just hope they will have a more positive opinion.
