Weird Hymns and songs

8 Apr 2007

I was just listening to the hymn JERUSALEM on the radio and the last three lines got me thinking.
Nor shall my sword sleep in my hand
Till we have built jerusalem
In englands green and pleasant land.
First of all why would you sleep with your sword in your hand! You'd cut something off surely, it would be like the scene from the godfather where the guy wakes up with the horses head in his bed....except it would be his penis! Its just not practical, sleeping with your sword near you would be fine, perhaps neatly leant against your bedside table would be safest.
Secondly, why would you want to build jerusalem in england! leave it where it fucking is! think how confusing that would be, all the people in jerusalem would wake up and think *where the fuck am i* its not exactly practical is it! seems to me like it would be better to leave it where it is, perhaps have a jerusalem 2, knock down somewhere pointless like slough or birmngham and build it there
Can anyone else think of anything similar in other hymns or songs?

8 Apr 2007

Quote by Drewxcore
I was just listening to the hymn JERUSALEM on the radio and the last three lines got me thinking.
Nor shall my sword sleep in my hand
Till we have built jerusalem
In englands green and pleasant land.
First of all why would you sleep with your sword in your hand! You'd cut something off surely, it would be like the scene from the godfather where the guy wakes up with the horses head in his bed....except it would be his penis! Its just not practical, sleeping with your sword near you would be fine, perhaps neatly leant against your bedside table would be safest.
Secondly, why would you want to build jerusalem in england! leave it where it fucking is! think how confusing that would be, all the people in jerusalem would wake up and think *where the fuck am i* its not exactly practical is it! seems to me like it would be better to leave it where it is, perhaps have a jerusalem 2, knock down somewhere pointless like slough or birmngham and build it there
Can anyone else think of anything similar in other hymns or songs?

It's a song! Loads of songs have what seem like pointless/silly lines in them.
I know lots of lovely people from Slough and Birmingham who might be concerned that you thought them pointless places too.

8 Apr 2007

It's a hymn about history, valiance and bravado... I thought you were a bit more intelligant than to analyse a hymn wording Drew.

8 Apr 2007

It's a joke, isn't it? confused

8 Apr 2007

Quote by Cherrytree
It's a joke, isn't it?

Pass - no emoticons to indicate that though dunno

8 Apr 2007

Quote by Cherrytree
It's a joke, isn't it?

perhaps i shouldve waited until later to make this joke...but jaymar, i thought you had a sense of humour, i'm suprised

8 Apr 2007

Quote by Drewxcore
It's a joke, isn't it?

perhaps i shouldve waited until later to make this joke...but jaymar, i thought you had a sense of humour, i'm suprised
Of course I have a sense of humour Drewy, but not when it comes to really meaningful hymns being attacked, and whilst I don't follow my religion anymore, this is Easter Sunday and that is a very powerful hymn.
I can't agree with you all the time hunni and this is one of them smile

8 Apr 2007

Quote by jaymar
It's a joke, isn't it?

perhaps i shouldve waited until later to make this joke...but jaymar, i thought you had a sense of humour, i'm suprised
Of course I have a sense of humour Drewy, but not when it comes to really meaningful hymns being attacked, and whilst I don't follow my religion anymore, this is Easter Sunday and that is a very powerful hymn.
I can't agree with you all the time hunni and this is one of them smile

Have to say i forgot it was easter.....and i know its a powerful hymn! I'm one of the people that would like to see it as our national anthem but what i said was a joke! I wasnt attacking the hymn!

8 Apr 2007

Quote by jaymar
It's a hymn about history, valiance and bravado... I thought you were a bit more intelligant than to analyse a hymn wording Drew.

That's why I took it to be humour rather than anything else. I don't think for a moment there was any offence meant wink

8 Apr 2007

Quote by Freckledbird
It's a song! Loads of songs have what seem like pointless/silly lines in them.
I know lots of lovely people from Slough and Birmingham who might be concerned that you thought them pointless places too.

Come friendly bombs and fall on Slough!
It isn't fit for humans now,
There isn't grass to graze a cow.
Swarm over, Death!
Come, bombs and blow to smithereens
Those air -conditioned, bright canteens,
Tinned fruit, tinned meat, tinned milk, tinned beans,
Tinned minds, tinned breath.
Mess up the mess they call a town-
A house for ninety-seven down
And once a week a half a crown
For twenty years.
And get that man with double chin
Who'll always cheat and always win,
Who washes his repulsive skin
In women's tears:
And smash his desk of polished oak
And smash his hands so used to stroke
And stop his boring dirty joke
And make him yell.
But spare the bald young clerks who add
The profits of the stinking cad;
It's not their fault that they are mad,
They've tasted Hell.
It's not their fault they do not know
The birdsong from the radio,
It's not their fault they often go
To Maidenhead
And talk of sport and makes of cars
In various bogus-Tudor bars
And daren't look up and see the stars
But belch instead.
In labour-saving homes, with care
Their wives frizz out peroxide hair
And dry it in synthetic air
And paint their nails.
Come, friendly bombs and fall on Slough
To get it ready for the plough.
The cabbages are coming now;
The earth exhales.

8 Apr 2007

Quote by goldiloxxxx
It's a hymn about history, valiance and bravado... I thought you were a bit more intelligant than to analyse a hymn wording Drew.

That's why I took it to be humour rather than anything else. I don't think for a moment there was any offence meant wink

Thankoo

and stormy rotflmao

8 Apr 2007

Quote by Drewxcore
It's a joke, isn't it?

perhaps i shouldve waited until later to make this joke...but jaymar, i thought you had a sense of humour, i'm suprised
Of course I have a sense of humour Drewy, but not when it comes to really meaningful hymns being attacked, and whilst I don't follow my religion anymore, this is Easter Sunday and that is a very powerful hymn.
I can't agree with you all the time hunni and this is one of them smile

Have to say i forgot it was easter.....and i know its a powerful hymn! I'm one of the people that would like to see it as our national anthem but what i said was a joke! I wasnt attacking the hymn!
Okey dokey hun, I'm not looking to argue with you, I'm just stating my opinion (as everyone does! :thumbup: ) kiss

8 Apr 2007

I rest my case, with regard to pointless and silly lines, Stormy lol

8 Apr 2007

Quote by goldiloxxxx
It's a hymn about history, valiance and bravado... I thought you were a bit more intelligant than to analyse a hymn wording Drew.

That's why I took it to be humour rather than anything else. I don't think for a moment there was any offence meant wink

:high-smile: Well, there is one thing that is guaranteed about this Forum and/or emailing/texting.. not everyone can interpret what people are aiming at by words alone AND it would be a boring world if we all agreed, so.... on this occasion as I find hymn a very emotive subject, I'll sit back and watch the banter.. cool

8 Apr 2007

Well, there is one thing that is guaranteed about this Forum and/or emailing/texting.. not everyone can interpret what people are aiming at by words alone AND it would be a boring world if we all agreed, so.... on this occasion as I find hymn a very emotive subject, I'll sit back and watch the banter..

well I'll just ask the obvious then lol

what exactly is this thread about? I'm lost dunno

I dont read you well at all Drew but am sat here scratching my head over this one

was it intended as tongue in cheek?
was it a dig at the hymn itself but then you thought better of it?
I'm confused :crazy:
or is it just a bollox thread with no purpose having originally had one but done a U turn on it :dunno:

8 Apr 2007

"Jerusalem" was a poem by William Blake, it was not written as a hymn.
There is a theory that Jesus, in between his childhood and the period when he preached the gospel (only the last three years of his life) was a carpenter and worked for Joseph of Arimathea, a Phoenician - I think. There is also evidence that Phoenician traders came to England, to the English west country to trade, particularly to buy tin from the Cornish tin mines. So Blake's poem is a sort of fantasy based on the not impossible theory that Jesus actually set foot in England.
It's only a lot later that it was set to music and began to be used as a patriotic hymn, I think.
This is what I remember being told a long time ago, there's probably more if you google it.

8 Apr 2007

I pretty sure the threads about non sensicle (sp) song/hymn lyrics
Not the kind of thread i would normally reply in but the fact it seems to have risen backs up i just had to
Ok the brum and slough jokes
Well had Jeremy Clarkson or a comedian made the stament as he often does about brum (and mistakenly including the Black Country as part of brum mad

) i'm sure a few laughs would have been had.
The fact it had no emotes has just mad peopl question what it was about.

8 Apr 2007

Quote by goose35
I pretty sure the threads about non sensicle (sp) song/hymn lyrics
Not the kind of thread i would normally reply in but the fact it seems to have risen backs up i just had to
Ok the brum and slough jokes
Well had Jeremy Clarkson or a comedian made the stament as he often does about brum (and mistakenly including the Black Country as part of brum ) i'm sure a few laughs would have been had.
The fact it had no emotes has just mad peopl question what it was about.

I had hoped people could cope with just words

8 Apr 2007

Oh but all's well that ends well eh?
Good job it wasn't a newbie or less popular member who posted it as they would've seen much less "sweetie bollox" and a whole lot more criticism and locking.
Oooops - missed an emoticon! There ya go - rolleyes

8 Apr 2007

Quote by goose35
I pretty sure the threads about non sensicle (sp) song/hymn lyrics
Not the kind of thread i would normally reply in but the fact it seems to have risen backs up i just had to
The fact it had no emotes has just mad people question what it was about.

But the words are not nonsensicle (sp lol

) are they, the majority are metaphors from a poem, quite rightly highlighted by Mike_North as being penned by William Blake.
but I'm still questioning the purpose of the thread, simply cos I dont get it dunno

I had hoped people could cope with just words

evidently not wink

8 Apr 2007

Quote by Marya_Northeast
Oh but all's well that ends well eh?
Good job it wasn't a newbie or less popular member who posted it as they would've seen much less "sweetie bollox" and a whole lot more criticism and locking.
Oooops - missed an emoticon! There ya go -

I am glad you said it, I was thinking exactly the same thing....

8 Apr 2007

Bliming heck Slough gets another put down :shock:
John Betjeman(?) has a lot to answer for and Drew smackbottom

dont put jerusalem here!

8 Apr 2007

Gosh you lot, stop it - Drew won't like all this negativity. rolleyes

8 Apr 2007

<<<<<<<<<<<invites Drew to Slough :beer:

8 Apr 2007

Quote by goose35
(and mistakenly including the Black Country as part of brum )

And Tamworth rolleyes

8 Apr 2007

Quote by Marya_Northeast
Oh but all's well that ends well eh?
Good job it wasn't a newbie or less popular member who posted it as they would've seen much less "sweetie bollox" and a whole lot more criticism and locking.
Oooops - missed an emoticon! There ya go -

Must agree I mean if newbies or less popular people make mistakes we should really lay into them and give them a dam good pasteing. By defanition I probably am a less popular member and agree that me and all the newbies shouldent piss in your playground.
Now just to add one of these rotflmao

and now its funny lol

8 Apr 2007

Quote by tweeky
Oh but all's well that ends well eh?
Good job it wasn't a newbie or less popular member who posted it as they would've seen much less "sweetie bollox" and a whole lot more criticism and locking.
Oooops - missed an emoticon! There ya go -

Must agree I mean if newbies or less popular people make mistakes we should really lay into them and give them a dam good pasteing. By defanition I probably am a less popular member and agree that me and all the newbies shouldent piss in your playground.
Now just to add one of these rotflmao

and now its funny lol

wtf?

8 Apr 2007

Quote by Drewxcore
I was just listening to the hymn JERUSALEM on the radio and the last three lines got me thinking.
Nor shall my sword sleep in my hand
Till we have built jerusalem
In englands green and pleasant land.
First of all why would you sleep with your sword in your hand! You'd cut something off surely, it would be like the scene from the godfather where the guy wakes up with the horses head in his bed....except it would be his penis! Its just not practical, sleeping with your sword near you would be fine, perhaps neatly leant against your bedside table would be safest.
Secondly, why would you want to build jerusalem in england! leave it where it fucking is! think how confusing that would be, all the people in jerusalem would wake up and think *where the fuck am i* its not exactly practical is it! seems to me like it would be better to leave it where it is, perhaps have a jerusalem 2, knock down somewhere pointless like slough or birmngham and build it there
Can anyone else think of anything similar in other hymns or songs?

I think this part refers to 'not stopping fighting until the jobs done'.... most song lyrics are like this drew, i'm not quite sure the point of the thread either tbh?!!?!!?
sorry.....
m x

8 Apr 2007

Its a joke!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thats the point of it

8 Apr 2007

Quote by mazandden
I was just listening to the hymn JERUSALEM on the radio and the last three lines got me thinking.
Nor shall my sword sleep in my hand
Till we have built jerusalem
In englands green and pleasant land.
First of all why would you sleep with your sword in your hand! You'd cut something off surely, it would be like the scene from the godfather where the guy wakes up with the horses head in his bed....except it would be his penis! Its just not practical, sleeping with your sword near you would be fine, perhaps neatly leant against your bedside table would be safest.
Secondly, why would you want to build jerusalem in england! leave it where it fucking is! think how confusing that would be, all the people in jerusalem would wake up and think *where the fuck am i* its not exactly practical is it! seems to me like it would be better to leave it where it is, perhaps have a jerusalem 2, knock down somewhere pointless like slough or birmngham and build it there
Can anyone else think of anything similar in other hymns or songs?

I think this part refers to 'not stopping fighting until the jobs done'.... most song lyrics are like this drew, i'm not quite sure the point of the thread either tbh?!!?!!?
sorry.....
m x
Isn't the point of tthe thread summed up in his last line - Can anyone else think of anything similar in other hymns or songs?
I cant see anything wrong with it, maybe a few smileys would have let people know it was a joke, but Drew himelf has confirmed that on the sixth post on this thread.