Wet Celery

2 May 2007

When I made an unexpected landing in France, a very nice lady offered to take me up stairs with a stick of wet celery. As it happened I had to leave, so I never did find out what the celery was for.
I did know a lady who like to eat an apple before sex. She claimed it was a re-enactment of the loss of 'innocence' I was told about a man who like to eat steamed broccoli. He claimed that the broccoli contained iron, and that put lead in his pencil. confused

...but I still do not know what to do with the wet celery.
Please will someone tell me 'What is so great about celery'

2 May 2007

Quote by
Please will someone tell me 'What is so great about celery'

Nothing, they should stop growing it :scared:

2 May 2007

I take it you have had a go with celery then?

2 May 2007

I can't even stand touching the stuff :eeek:

2 May 2007

Perhaps the celery was lubricated dunno

:giggle:

2 May 2007

Quote by Mallock2006
Perhaps the celery was lubricated
:giggle:

That really isn't a thought I wanted planting in my head :lol2:

2 May 2007

I hate celery! Bluuuurgh!

2 May 2007

Maybe this sheds some light:

Strengthen your sex organ with celery. Celeriac lowers blood pressure and increase blood flow. This can help to overcome erectile dysfunction.
This phallic vegetable has been used as a cure for impotence. The Spanish and the Chinese claim it is a love food.
In France, during the eighteenth-century, celeriac was known to make men horny and many wives prepared it for their husbands to keep them home and on the straight and narrow.
The beautiful Madame de Pompadour had celeraic soup and often served it to her royal lover, to keep his libido hot. (From )

2 May 2007

Sounds good to me.
Know what do you know about damsons or was it damsels?

2 May 2007

I can't believe none of you have pointed out what a lovely lass Celery is - wet or otherwise!

2 May 2007

Quote by Marya_Northeast
I can't believe none of you have pointed out what a lovely lass Celery is - wet or otherwise!

Agreed :twisted:
Maybe someone's been watching reruns of 'Allo 'Allo? dunno

2 May 2007

That is possible!
I lick the resistance girl, but only once.

2 May 2007

When I made an unexpected landing in France, a very nice lady offered to take me up stairs with a stick of wet celery.

err... what part of France was this??? Maybe we should conduct some local research into this (purely in the interest of science of course innocent

)
:notes: makes note to self.. next party, forget the flowers, get bundle of celery from supermarket...

2 May 2007

celery is bloody lovely!
and i dont mean the edible version...although she is quite edible... :twisted:

2 May 2007

celery is bloody lovely!
and i dont mean the edible version...although she is quite edible... :twisted:
see....celery is soooooo nice i said it twice biggrin

2 May 2007

isnt celery like rhubarb, it needs somewhere dark to 'blanch' (think thats what its called) so she must have thought you had somewhere nice and dark to stick it .................... or is this just a silly idea?

2 May 2007

Quote by runtie
isnt celery like rhubarb, it needs somewhere dark to 'blanch' (think thats what its called) so she must have thought you had somewhere nice and dark to stick it .................... or is this just a silly idea?

And we go full circle back to

Quote by Mallock2006
Perhaps the celery was lubricated

:giggle:

2 May 2007

Quote by
'What is so great about celery'

forty grand a years is soz thought ya ment salary redface

2 May 2007

I've seen a wet Celery and it was ace :twisted: The T-shirt clung remarkably well lol

:lol: :lol:
Jas
XXX

2 May 2007

Quote by
Please will someone tell me 'What is so great about celery'

If you eat a few sticks it makes you wee lol

3 May 2007

"Celery originated in the Mediterranean. It has been grown as a food crop for thousands of years. It has also had many other uses dating back to ancient times, including medicine, funerals and more."
or maybe she was using it as a weapon......?? lol

3 May 2007

Quote by shark
When I made an unexpected landing in France, a very nice lady offered to take me up stairs with a stick of wet celery.

err... what part of France was this??? Maybe we should conduct some local research into this (purely in the interest of science of course innocent

)
:notes: makes note to self.. next party, forget the flowers, get bundle of celery from supermarket...
I think the town was called 'Nu vee loin'

3 May 2007

celery is great cos its a minus calorie food, u expend more calories eating it than it contains.
funny that, can think of a few other things that might apply to.
sorry have i doubled the cirle again and gone back to lubricated celery.

3 May 2007

There's a song we sing at Chelsea
"Celery Celery if she don't cum I'll tickle her bum with a lump of Celery" (usually accompanied by the throwing of loads of celery, until it was recently banned)
Is this related?

3 May 2007

Quote by cfcuk2004
There's a song we sing at Chelsea
"Celery Celery if she don't cum I'll tickle her bum with a lump of Celery" (usually accompanied by the throwing of loads of celery, until it was recently banned)
Is this related?

Why throw it? dunno

For what purpose?

3 May 2007

Quote by helnheaven
There's a song we sing at Chelsea
"Celery Celery if she don't cum I'll tickle her bum with a lump of Celery" (usually accompanied by the throwing of loads of celery, until it was recently banned)
Is this related?

Why throw it? dunno

For what purpose?
Beats the shit out of eating it :giggle:

3 May 2007

Quote by Mallock2006
There's a song we sing at Chelsea
"Celery Celery if she don't cum I'll tickle her bum with a lump of Celery" (usually accompanied by the throwing of loads of celery, until it was recently banned)
Is this related?

Why throw it? dunno

For what purpose?
Beats the shit out of eating it :giggle:
I think that also depends if you mean the veg or the delightful, soon to be, Mrs Fektart :lickface:

3 May 2007

Quote by Mallock2006
There's a song we sing at Chelsea
"Celery Celery if she don't cum I'll tickle her bum with a lump of Celery" (usually accompanied by the throwing of loads of celery, until it was recently banned)
Is this related?

Why throw it? dunno

For what purpose?
Beats the shit out of eating it :giggle:
:giggle:

4 May 2007

Quote by cfcuk2004
There's a song we sing at Chelsea

There is? :shock:
Sorry, couldn’t resist dunno

And if you start singing ‘three nil’ I will hunt you down with extreme prejudice :lol2:
oh Celery, my fantasy for oh so long, may your life be filled with many happy moments :rascal:
xx
Pete
.