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what a mess

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i had invited friends around 4 ameal .got home late and ran out of time so i was rushing around still no reason 4 me to loss my head,i went down to tesco got all the food as i thought got home then jumped into the shower just as the first spit of water touched the tip of my head the door bell went. yes they were early wraped a towel arond me and open the door and invited them sorry and i wont be long gave then both a drink and ran upstairs to finsh my shower . as i was in the shower it dawn on that i had forgot somthing. yes you wont belive it oil . the whole house was a oil free zone not even old cooking oil with bits in it from a chip fryer i could feel the sweat build up and the panic setting in . what should i do leave my guest again nooooooo. that would be bad manners so thinking on my feet i went to the bathroom cabinet and ther it was like aa knight in shining armour witha blue badge. yes VASELINE .could it work only one way to find out. got dressed and took the vaseline down with me .went into the kitchen chucked a pan on the heat and scooped the vaseline out and watch it melt well it looked like oil so i cooked with it .i must say it does look the same shame it doesnt taste the same and i ddint find this out till my guest started to eat i could see by the look on there face's things was not quiet right . and quess what when i tucked in all you could taste was a Culinaire nightmare. so heres my tip for all you young jamie olivers if your running late and dont have any oil to cook with use anything but vaseline as this just dont cut the mustard
There are such things as takeaways you know.
Plim wink
'kin idiot
Quote by gagmaster
i had invited friends around 4 ameal .got home late and ran out of time so i was rushing around still no reason 4 me to loss my head,i went down to tesco got all the food as i thought got home then jumped into the shower just as the first spit of water touched the tip of my head the door bell went. yes they were early wraped a towel arond me and open the door and invited them sorry and i wont be long gave then both a drink and ran upstairs to finsh my shower . as i was in the shower it dawn on that i had forgot somthing. yes you wont belive it oil . the whole house was a oil free zone not even old cooking oil with bits in it from a chip fryer i could feel the sweat build up and the panic setting in . what should i do leave my guest again nooooooo. that would be bad manners so thinking on my feet i went to the bathroom cabinet and ther it was like aa knight in shining armour witha blue badge. yes VASELINE .could it work only one way to find out. got dressed and took the vaseline down with me .went into the kitchen chucked a pan on the heat and scooped the vaseline out and watch it melt well it looked like oil so i cooked with it .i must say it does look the same shame it doesnt taste the same and i ddint find this out till my guest started to eat i could see by the look on there face's things was not quiet right . and quess what when i tucked in all you could taste was a Culinaire nightmare. so heres my tip for all you young jamie olivers if your running late and dont have any oil to cook with use anything but vaseline as this just dont cut the mustard

I've used cooking oil in lieu of vaseline, but never heard of anyone trying it vice versa...
Quote by gagmaster
i had invited friends around 4 ameal .got home late and ran out of time so i was rushing around still no reason 4 me to loss my head,i went down to tesco got all the food as i thought got home then jumped into the shower just as the first spit of water touched the tip of my head the door bell went. yes they were early wraped a towel arond me and open the door and invited them sorry and i wont be long gave then both a drink and ran upstairs to finsh my shower . as i was in the shower it dawn on that i had forgot somthing. yes you wont belive it oil . the whole house was a oil free zone not even old cooking oil with bits in it from a chip fryer i could feel the sweat build up and the panic setting in . what should i do leave my guest again nooooooo. that would be bad manners so thinking on my feet i went to the bathroom cabinet and ther it was like aa knight in shining armour witha blue badge. yes VASELINE .could it work only one way to find out. got dressed and took the vaseline down with me .went into the kitchen chucked a pan on the heat and scooped the vaseline out and watch it melt well it looked like oil so i cooked with it .i must say it does look the same shame it doesnt taste the same and i ddint find this out till my guest started to eat i could see by the look on there face's things was not quiet right . and quess what when i tucked in all you could taste was a Culinaire nightmare. so heres my tip for all you young jamie olivers if your running late and dont have any oil to cook with use anything but vaseline as this just dont cut the mustard

Did you not have any butter??
Why not try engine oil next time, I have heard it to be rather pleasant when taken through a straw :giggle:
So its only me that thinks this in one of gagmasters threads that are just revolting and are an attempt to make you gag then dunno
Dunno, I just didn't think for one minute it would be true confused
hi again im sure you all have at some time cocked a meal up .dont be so cynical and give a chap a chance .if it had worked well i could have been the Heston would had made great tv like come dine with me.. dont you think ps now for barbecues ,parties,weddings,and of course barmitsfa
Quote by gagmaster
hi again im sure you all have at some time cocked a meal up .dont be so cynical and give a chap a chance .if it had worked well i could have been the Heston would had made great tv like come dine with me.. dont you think

NOPE :eeek:dunno
Quote by gagmaster
i had invited friends around 4 ameal .got home late and ran out of time so i was rushing around still no reason 4 me to loss my head,i went down to tesco got all the food as i thought got home then jumped into the shower just as the first spit of water touched the tip of my head the door bell went. yes they were early wraped a towel arond me and open the door and invited them sorry and i wont be long gave then both a drink and ran upstairs to finsh my shower . as i was in the shower it dawn on that i had forgot somthing. yes you wont belive it oil . the whole house was a oil free zone not even old cooking oil with bits in it from a chip fryer i could feel the sweat build up and the panic setting in . what should i do leave my guest again nooooooo. that would be bad manners so thinking on my feet i went to the bathroom cabinet and ther it was like aa knight in shining armour witha blue badge. yes VASELINE .could it work only one way to find out. got dressed and took the vaseline down with me .went into the kitchen chucked a pan on the heat and scooped the vaseline out and watch it melt well it looked like oil so i cooked with it .i must say it does look the same shame it doesnt taste the same and i ddint find this out till my guest started to eat i could see by the look on there face's things was not quiet right . and quess what when i tucked in all you could taste was a Culinaire nightmare. so heres my tip for all you young jamie olivers if your running late and dont have any oil to cook with use anything but vaseline as this just dont cut the mustard

rotflmao :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
This reminds me of my mate who was cooking curry, as the recipe instructed, she didn't have any plain yoghurt - but thought strawberry fromage frais would do just as well!
That was about 10 years ago, still giggle about it now!!!
Quote by Kaznkev
i had invited friends around 4 ameal .got home late and ran out of time so i was rushing around still no reason 4 me to loss my head,i went down to tesco got all the food as i thought got home then jumped into the shower just as the first spit of water touched the tip of my head the door bell went. yes they were early wraped a towel arond me and open the door and invited them sorry and i wont be long gave then both a drink and ran upstairs to finsh my shower . as i was in the shower it dawn on that i had forgot somthing. yes you wont belive it oil . the whole house was a oil free zone not even old cooking oil with bits in it from a chip fryer i could feel the sweat build up and the panic setting in . what should i do leave my guest again nooooooo. that would be bad manners so thinking on my feet i went to the bathroom cabinet and ther it was like aa knight in shining armour witha blue badge. yes VASELINE .could it work only one way to find out. got dressed and took the vaseline down with me .went into the kitchen chucked a pan on the heat and scooped the vaseline out and watch it melt well it looked like oil so i cooked with it .i must say it does look the same shame it doesnt taste the same and i ddint find this out till my guest started to eat i could see by the look on there face's things was not quiet right . and quess what when i tucked in all you could taste was a Culinaire nightmare. so heres my tip for all you young jamie olivers if your running late and dont have any oil to cook with use anything but vaseline as this just dont cut the mustard

I've used cooking oil in lieu of vaseline, but never heard of anyone trying it vice versa...
you shoudnt be using vaseline,as it is not recommended with condoms............
oh , sorry my mind just automaticaly leapt to anal sex for some reason dunno
:laughabove::laughabove::laughabove::laughabove::laughabove: