What does swinging mean to you?

26 Oct 2004

Quote by Happy Cats
The definition of friendship is interesting -
Is a friend someone you bump into on the forum/shops/pub etc and chat with?
Or is a friend someone you go out of your way to be with?
In swinging and general terms I suspect its the former but you might have sex with them.
I wonder how many swingers friends get together on their own (not a munchie) for reasons other than sex?

i have tried not to reply on this thread as i feel it would be too dificult for me to explain myself properly, without confsing even myself.
but in answer to the above question... i have made some VERY good friends through this.
there are certainly female members of this site who i would consider very close friends and would have no hesitation in telling my darkest too... and have done.
the problem with meeting up physically is a big one though, the fact that you have met people online means that there is only a small chance that you live close to them... where as friends you meet in a more conventional way probably live nearer. ..... so its obvious that you would get to see your "normal" mates more.

26 Oct 2004

out of all the people i have met from this site.. there are only a few that i actually fancy and would want to get physical aquanted with, where as there are loads that i like as people.
there have been loads of things that i have been invited to.. and i have gone along- in the knowledge that there will be no one there who i would want to have sex with! i have however still gone......due to the fact that i am aware i will have a great time with people who i think of as my mates.

26 Oct 2004

I have a very good friend made here through SH and met at a munch. We chatted and exchangeed a few PMs. She then invited me on a night out, dinner and to meet her friends. We then went shopping the next day and have contiued to have lengthy phone calls, PM's and shopping trips.
She is what I would call a true friend. She is there for me through a lot; I was sobbing my heart out cos someone had upset me, when I was jumpin for joy cos I passed an exam, when I was undecided about which outfit to wear to a non swinging friend's party. And like wise I would like to think I am there for her too.
When we meet up it is not in the back of our minds, ok must shag once we have shopped. It is purely platonic and that is that. Not everyone is thinking about shagging everyone we see and make freindships with.

26 Oct 2004

Quote by fem_manc-cpl
happy cats, there were 14 of us on a night out for my birthday last week. To the best of my knowledge there was no sex cos we were all way too pissed and tired out from dancing our little socks off.
So there falls down your theory in my little world anyway.

I did say in general terms. I beleive that perhaps that would be the exception rather than the rule. If they were all your friends as individuals/couples rather than a group of people with something in common it falls down even further

26 Oct 2004

Quote by well_busty_babe
out of all the people i have met from this site.. there are only a few that i actually fancy and would want to get physical aquanted with, where as there are loads that i like as people.
there have been loads of things that i have been invited to.. and i have gone along- in the knowledge that there will be no one there who i would want to have sex with! i have however still gone......due to the fact that i am aware i will have a great time with people who i think of as my mates.

wonders fi he is in the "few!" wink

JGL

26 Oct 2004

I'm kind of proud to say yeah, although some do know each other from this site, some better than others, I know them all from different situations.
Apologies if jumped down your throat about it. I'm a in an odd mood tonight.
I need a good smackbottom

and a :therethere:

26 Oct 2004

Quote by JGL
out of all the people i have met from this site.. there are only a few that i actually fancy and would want to get physical aquanted with, where as there are loads that i like as people.
there have been loads of things that i have been invited to.. and i have gone along- in the knowledge that there will be no one there who i would want to have sex with! i have however still gone......due to the fact that i am aware i will have a great time with people who i think of as my mates.

wonders fi he is in the "few!" wink

JGL
will tell ya on sat! :wink:

26 Oct 2004

Quote by well_busty_babe
out of all the people i have met from this site.. there are only a few that i actually fancy and would want to get physical aquanted with, where as there are loads that i like as people.
there have been loads of things that i have been invited to.. and i have gone along- in the knowledge that there will be no one there who i would want to have sex with! i have however still gone......due to the fact that i am aware i will have a great time with people who i think of as my mates.

wonders fi he is in the "few!" wink

JGL
will tell ya on sat! :wink:
:wink:

26 Oct 2004

You can't be a single person and a swinger, as you can go down town and sleep with different people each week but as a single would you call it swinging? And you can't swing singularily from a couple without your partner knowing cos thats just cheating.

i'm not sure i see the analogy. if a single male found himself in a room with say 5 or 6 other people all engaged in sexual activity, well surely that can only be described as swinging, by even the strictest definition! what if a single male had a swinging partner where they could not and would not describe themselves as a couple yet have decided to explore things together? i don't think it is possible to define swinging itself. it's too broad.
yet the fact remains, it is not primarily those sexual encounters that mean the most, for me.
i can't see why some are getting so defensive ((( and even offensive in fact! ))) about their position, when noone is challenging it? the question, as has already been pointed out, is what does swinging mean to you, not what is the absolute minimum definition of swinging?
neil x x x ;)

26 Oct 2004

To be honest i think we all have different definitions of swinging and what it means/does for us personally.
I respect others views on this,but believe in my own.
I dont think we should argue what we think,more put it across as Heather was asking what we thought,and not perhaps debate the meaning confused

26 Oct 2004

so does this mean you are infact a swinger

26 Oct 2004

Quote by Clare_Lincs
To be honest i think we all have different definitions of swinging and what it means/does for us personally.
I respect others viewa on this,but believe in my own.
I dont think we should argue what we think,more put it across as Heather was asking what we thought,and not perhaps debate the meaning

very true indeed

26 Oct 2004

the only person who can dictate the true meaning of a swinger is the king of the swingers!

26 Oct 2004

Quote by well_busty_babe
the only person who can dictate the true meaning of a swinger is the king of the swingers!

but who is the "king (or queen) swinger of SH??? i feel a poll coming on!!!
JGL

26 Oct 2004

Quote by neilinleeds
You can't be a single person and a swinger, as you can go down town and sleep with different people each week but as a single would you call it swinging? And you can't swing singularily from a couple without your partner knowing cos thats just cheating.

i'm not sure i see the analogy. if a single male found himself in a room with say 5 or 6 other people all engaged in sexual activity, well surely that can only be described as swinging, by even the strictest definition! what if a single male had a swinging partner where they could not and would not describe themselves as a couple yet have decided to explore things together? i don't think it is possible to define swinging itself. it's too broad.
yet the fact remains, it is not primarily those sexual encounters that mean the most, for me.
i can't see why some are getting so defensive ((( and even offensive in fact! ))) about their position, when noone is challenging it? the question, as has already been pointed out, is what does swinging mean to you, not what is the absolute minimum definition of swinging?
neil x x x ;)
Sorry neil it wasn't intended to be either. redface

26 Oct 2004

Quick! Someone tie JGL to his seat and cuff his hands before he posts another poll! lol

Back on topic, I think that swinging for me is an exploration of sexuality, finding out my likes/ dislikes, trying new things and sharing favourite ones with those whom I have made a connection with. It is sharing my partner and myself with others, learning new techniques and hoping to please someone else.

26 Oct 2004

Quote by fem_manc-cpl
Quick! Someone tie JGL to his seat and cuff his hands before he posts another poll!

are you gonna do the cuffing???? wink

:wink: :wink:
you'll have to come and chase me... now where was that "poll" button
JGL

26 Oct 2004

Chases JGL in a benny hill fashion around his room.
Gets the cuffs and firmly secures him to the chair.
Now there you are, you naughty lad. No more poll's from you tonight! smackbottom

26 Oct 2004

Quote by fem_manc-cpl
Chases JGL in a benny hill fashion around his room.
Gets the cuffs and firmly secures him to the chair.
Now there you are, you naughty lad. No more poll's from you tonight!

he he he he he he he he he he he
i can just hear the theme tune
xxxxx
JGL

26 Oct 2004

oh bollox! midlandsmale, i should know better than to quote, then make a general reply. no i wasn't suggesting you we're being mate. my apologies. redface

and fem_manc that's very naughty!
n x x x silly

26 Oct 2004

Quote by neilinleeds
and fem_manc that's very naughty!
n x x x

Ooooo come and spank me then! lol

*wiggles bum temptingly*

26 Oct 2004

Quote by fem_manc-cpl

and fem_manc that's very naughty!
n x x x

Ooooo come and spank me then! lol

*wiggles bum temptingly*
what a sight to behold!!!!
JGL

26 Oct 2004

oy, JGL, don't get too many ideas! Just cos I cuffed you to your chair doesn't mean you're allowed to enjoy this lapdance I'm giving you! ;)

26 Oct 2004

Quote by fem_manc-cpl
oy, JGL, don't get too many ideas! Just cos I cuffed you to your chair doesn't mean you're allowed to enjoy this lapdance I'm giving you! ;)

I'll try my hardest not to enjoy it then!!!
JGL

26 Oct 2004

I think we should end this hijack of heather's thread cos this is quite a profound one and very interesting the issues it has brought out.
I wondered if one can say what you want from swinging without first considering what swinging means to you?

26 Oct 2004

Quote by fem_manc-cpl
I think we should end this hijack of heather's thread cos this is quite a profound one and very interesting the issues it has brought out.
I wondered if one can say what you want from swinging without first considering what swinging means to you?

whoops sorry.... back to the plot ( thats if there is one!)
i dont think the work "swinging" can have one meaning, casue it is different to each and everyone

26 Oct 2004

yes I agree with that, so when we define swinging we each think it is something differetn and so look for those individual things.

26 Oct 2004

Quote by JGL
Chases JGL in a benny hill fashion around his room.
Gets the cuffs and firmly secures him to the chair.
Now there you are, you naughty lad. No more poll's from you tonight!

he he he he he he he he he he he
i can just hear the theme tune
That'll be my mobile ringing rolleyes

If it means fem_manc gets to tie you up, them please, JGL do another poll!
I'm not sure what swinging means to me. I guess, as fem_manc put it, it's a kind of exploration of sexuality with like-minded people. But then. I'm not looking to swing with anyone so what am I hear for? It goes back to the social thing again. Dunno, frankly! dunno

26 Oct 2004

Quote by Marya
If it means fem_manc gets to tie you up, them please, JGL do another poll!
:

Do i take the bait????
JGL

26 Oct 2004

I have come to the conclusion that I am not a swinger. I wanted to be..no I want to be..but my partner has gone off the idea. So I am one of the many married men looking for that extramarital thrill. There are thousands of us on the site in the ads. That is not the same as looking for easy sex. Easy sex smacks of a one way thing. I have met a couple of ladies who responded to my ad..we had wonderful , mutually giving, free, no strings..guilt free ..sensual...naughty... erotic sex. We also had a really nice time over a meal , a smile, a flirt and a few glasses of wine. They knew my position exactly. I have met one of the ladies since, and will hopefully meet the other again and am looking to meet others.
There is a sense of being an outsider in the forums. I have only really ever sent PMs to one lady, but she is one of the most populsr people in the forum. Would love to meet her, but dont think it will happen..
No real point to this..other than one more perspective on a very thought provoking subject.
One last thing...In twenty (or maybe ten) years time, through sites like this and increasing public awareness, the open marriage and Swinging will be part of life, in the same way that sex before marriage, cohabitation and the gay lifestyle are...I fear however too late for me!!