What is bullying?

10 Oct 2008

Quote by Zeddies
I think there are enough bullies that form little gangs, if you disagree with their posts they and their friends bully you.
:x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x

Ah you mean like you tried to with me a couple of nights ago when the thread was pulled???
I did not bully you.... or get anyone to bully you... I think this proves my point
well am not the right person to say this according to my record but zeddie that was my thread which got pulled and i think you went too far for nothing,yes you did bully hell...i was very bitter when it got pulled i wish it was locked so we could read the evidence!!

10 Oct 2008

Quote by Phuckers
I think there are enough bullies that form little gangs, if you disagree with their posts they and their friends bully you.
:x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x

Ah you mean like you tried to with me a couple of nights ago when the thread was pulled???
I did not bully you.... or get anyone to bully you... I think this proves my point
well am not the right person to say this according to my record but zeddie that was my thread which got pulled out and i think you went too far for nothing,yes you did bully hell...i was very bitter when it got pulled out i wish it was lock so we could read the evidence!!
could you please do this in private...phuckers you have had one of mine locked before you did apologise but lets not do it again. so please lets get on and lets sleeping dogs lie!

10 Oct 2008

I think bullying involves the consistent and repetitive tactics of putting people down and hindering their development.
Having a row on here happens to most posters who are willing to present challenging arguments and ideas or misleading sidetracks. Individuals can feel they are in a corner and people join in and close in on the individual. But its not bullying its one of those reactions which occur in the heat of a debate.
It represents either solidarity or fear.

10 Oct 2008

Quote by Theladyisaminx
I think there are enough bullies that form little gangs, if you disagree with their posts they and their friends bully you.
:x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x

Ah you mean like you tried to with me a couple of nights ago when the thread was pulled???
I did not bully you.... or get anyone to bully you... I think this proves my point
well am not the right person to say this according to my record but zeddie that was my thread which got pulled out and i think you went too far for nothing,yes you did bully hell...i was very bitter when it got pulled out i wish it was lock so we could read the evidence!!
could you please do this in private...phuckers you have had one of mine locked before you did apologise but lets not do it again. so please lets get on and lets sleeping dogs lie!
a thousand apologies xxxx pm :arrow:

10 Oct 2008

Quote by Phuckers
I think there are enough bullies that form little gangs, if you disagree with their posts they and their friends bully you.
:x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x

Ah you mean like you tried to with me a couple of nights ago when the thread was pulled???
I did not bully you.... or get anyone to bully you... I think this proves my point
well am not the right person to say this according to my record but zeddie that was my thread which got pulled out and i think you went too far for nothing,yes you did bully hell...i was very bitter when it got pulled out i wish it was lock so we could read the evidence!!
could you please do this in private...phuckers you have had one of mine locked before you did apologise but lets not do it again. so please lets get on and lets sleeping dogs lie!
a thousand apologies xxxx pm :arrow:
Thanks phukers xxx

10 Oct 2008

Quote by flower411

Hah!!! You an whose Army!!!! :lol: :lol:

10 Oct 2008

Quote by flower411

Hah!!! You an whose Army!!!! :lol: :lol:
All me bullying mates on here !! :lol:
We`ll gang up on ya !! we will ...we will !!
Nah .. it`s not worth it !!
but you just watch out !! you you !! you
I always find a kick in the nuts always works!! :kick:
am so glad i don't have nuts :giggle:

10 Oct 2008

Quote by flower411

Hah!!! You an whose Army!!!! :lol: :lol:
All me bullying mates on here !! :lol:
We`ll gang up on ya !! we will ...we will !!
Nah .. it`s not worth it !!
but you just watch out !! you you !! you
:shock: you don't have any mates!

10 Oct 2008

To me bullying is either mental or physical.
At primary school, I was the victim of the "cock" of the school, everyone was scared of her and what she said when she decided that no one should talk to me, they didn't, for fear of whatever.
The only thing is, I didn't realise this was a form a bullying until many years later, I suffered in silence,and was very shy and introvert for a very long time.
On various sites, I have seen what appears to be people getting pleasure of belittling posters,jumping on their every word and opinion. To me,this is bullying.
xxxxxxxxxxxx

11 Oct 2008

In my experience bullying is perpetrated by unintelligent cowards either for their own gain or to cover their own inadequacies.
Whether its physical, verbal or non verbal (shunning someone for example) one aspect remains constant, once the backlash starts the bully always says something along the lines of 'it was all a bit of fun' 'i never meant anything by it' or something along those mealy mouthed, pathetic excuse lines.
It's wrong on so many different levels, one of my best friends at school was driven to suicide by it, i'll repeat thet, he was driven to suicide because he was a little cleverer than most of his peer group, what a wonderful thing to have to explain to a parent eh? Funnily enough the main 'thing' behind the campaign used much the same excuses i listed above.....
If ever there was a poster boy for lobotomisation that was it.
The problem with the severely long termed bullied is that in a lot of cases they will not say they are being bullied, it just gets bottled up and they get into a cycle of self hate and self blame, they alienate themselves from others on purpose and end up trusting no one.....and then it becomes dangerous.
This of course is in part caused by the ease with which some toss in the bullying card when things don't go their way, much the same as the racist card is used, it devalues the meaning and seriousness of the word, causing rightly or wrongly others to go
rolleyes

'Here we go again"
This means that those cases which are severe, ongoing and likely to cause damage to people are sometimes missed or dismissed as not severe until it's all to late.
My personal view.....I hate bullies, I do not pity or wish to understand them, they are inadequate, self centered cowards and not worthy of my thought.

11 Oct 2008

Quote by jaymar
Bullying can take on many forms, mental and physical, cyber etc., etc.,
I hate bullies with a passion. I've just started a new job and I'm what you call a 'watcher', I've already noticed one lady who is an absolute disgrace, the way she talks to people, no pleases or thank you's, sits on her arse ordering people around and belittles at the first chance, I'm well aware of her and she'll not be doing that to me, newbie or not.

I'm lucky, I can stand up for myself, it's the ones who can't that worries me. What is even more of a worry is more often than enough, a bullied person becomes a bully themselves, or shows immense pent up aggression/frustration in later life.

Sorry Jaymar I have to disagree with this statement.
I do believe bullies have been bullied, but I don't agree with people that have been bullied would become a bully.

11 Oct 2008

Quote by bustylady40
On various sites, I have seen what appears to be people getting pleasure of belittling posters,jumping on their every word and opinion. To me,this is bullying.

Quote by staffcple
once the backlash starts the bully always says something along the lines of 'it was all a bit of fun' 'i never meant anything by it' or something along those mealy mouthed, pathetic excuse lines

Now those 2 quotes really ring bells about forum life.

11 Oct 2008

Quote by Theladyisaminx
Bullying can take on many forms, mental and physical, cyber etc., etc.,
I hate bullies with a passion. I've just started a new job and I'm what you call a 'watcher', I've already noticed one lady who is an absolute disgrace, the way she talks to people, no pleases or thank you's, sits on her arse ordering people around and belittles at the first chance, I'm well aware of her and she'll not be doing that to me, newbie or not.

I'm lucky, I can stand up for myself, it's the ones who can't that worries me. What is even more of a worry is more often than enough, a bullied person becomes a bully themselves, or shows immense pent up aggression/frustration in later life.

Sorry Jaymar I have to disagree with this statement.
I do believe bullies have been bullied, but I don't agree with people that have been bullied would become a bully.
No offence meant Minx......but my head is telling me that statement contradicts itself somewhat.
Either someone needs to explain how that could work- or I need IV caffeine :lol2:

11 Oct 2008

Quote by winchwench
Either someone needs to explain how that could work- or I need IV caffeine :lol2:

I Know I cant help because I dunno

However IV caffeine :idea: What a great idea biggrin

11 Oct 2008

Quote by winchwench
Bullying can take on many forms, mental and physical, cyber etc., etc.,
I hate bullies with a passion. I've just started a new job and I'm what you call a 'watcher', I've already noticed one lady who is an absolute disgrace, the way she talks to people, no pleases or thank you's, sits on her arse ordering people around and belittles at the first chance, I'm well aware of her and she'll not be doing that to me, newbie or not.

I'm lucky, I can stand up for myself, it's the ones who can't that worries me. What is even more of a worry is more often than enough, a bullied person becomes a bully themselves, or shows immense pent up aggression/frustration in later life.

Sorry Jaymar I have to disagree with this statement.
I do believe bullies have been bullied, but I don't agree with people that have been bullied would become a bully.
No offence meant Minx......but my head is telling me that statement contradicts itself somewhat.
Either someone needs to explain how that could work- or I need IV caffeine :lol2:
Hi winch I took it to read what Jaymar said is that bullied people become bullies, not all of us do.
But i do agree that people that are bullies have been victims of being bullied or feel they have been wronged in some way.
Maybe I have read her statement wrong and if I have jaymar I apologise it wasen't intended! x

11 Oct 2008

In my experience bullying is perpetrated by unintelligent cowards either for their own gain or to cover their own inadequacies.
I agree with you and would like to add that sometimes someone could bully out of envy too.
Whether its physical, verbal or non verbal (shunning someone for example) one aspect remains constant, once the backlash starts the bully always says something along the lines of 'it was all a bit of fun' 'i never meant anything by it' or something along those mealy mouthed, pathetic excuse lines.
I agree a bully is a coward and when faced up to would, always cower away from taking any form of blame or responsibilities for their actions.
It's wrong on so many different levels, one of my best friends at school was driven to suicide by it, i'll repeat thet, he was driven to suicide because he was a little cleverer than most of his peer group, what a wonderful thing to have to explain to a parent eh? Funnily enough the main 'thing' behind the campaign used much the same excuses i listed above.....If ever there was a poster boy for lobotomisation that was it.
I read this and felt a deep sense of sadness as I could relate to what you have written here.
The problem with the severely long termed bullied is that in a lot of cases they will not say they are being bullied, it just gets bottled up and they get into a cycle of self hate and self blame, they alienate themselves from others on purpose and end up trusting no one.....and then it becomes dangerous.
The reason I can relate to this thread as I have been there I was bullied and it is true the mental scars were hard to bear at the time. Nobody sees them they are hidden, there are changes in your character that gets questioned, but it easy to just avoid how you feel. I questioned myself wondered if I was the cause of someone’s dislike of me.
I was lucky the metal torture turned to physical there was no hiding that from my parents. It was then action was taken, and my Mum said she was glad it got that far, she said if it had not who knows what could have happened. I always felt I was strong enough to overcome it.
This of course is in part caused by the ease with which some toss in the bullying card when things don't go their way, much the same as the racist card is used, it devalues the meaning and seriousness of the word, causing rightly or wrongly others to go
rolleyes

'Here we go again"
This means that those cases which are severe, ongoing and likely to cause damage to people are sometimes missed or dismissed as not severe until it's all to late.
This is why I raised this thread I feel the same way you do, when I see people on here saying they feel bullied, yes I can understand it, yes I feel for them, but then part of me feels walk away, take no notice, these people can’t hurt you don’t fall victim to them, don’t give them the satisfaction of knowing what they say is hurting you.
When I am faced with people in life now that like to TRY and intimidate me, do you know how great it feels to have the strength to walk away and smile, nobody would ever make me feel a victim today. Yes I would to a degree stand up for myself but I wouldn’t give them the satisfaction of feeling they had won the battle because I don’t fight.
Some situations in life you don’t have the chance to walk away from.
My personal view.....I hate bullies, I do not pity or wish to understand them, they are inadequate, self centered cowards and not worthy of my thought.
My personal views are these I don’t hate anyone, hatred is full of anger, it can destroy a persons real character, it can make us bitter, cause resentment the bullies then would still be winning.
I can forgive and forget.
Move on and enjoy my life.
That way I have won the battle in my mind.

11 Oct 2008

Quote by flower411
Bullying can take on many forms, mental and physical, cyber etc., etc.,
I hate bullies with a passion. I've just started a new job and I'm what you call a 'watcher', I've already noticed one lady who is an absolute disgrace, the way she talks to people, no pleases or thank you's, sits on her arse ordering people around and belittles at the first chance, I'm well aware of her and she'll not be doing that to me, newbie or not.

I'm lucky, I can stand up for myself, it's the ones who can't that worries me. What is even more of a worry is more often than enough, a bullied person becomes a bully themselves, or shows immense pent up aggression/frustration in later life.

Sorry Jaymar I have to disagree with this statement.
I do believe bullies have been bullied, but I don't agree with people that have been bullied would become a bully.
No offence meant Minx......but my head is telling me that statement contradicts itself somewhat.
Either someone needs to explain how that could work- or I need IV caffeine :lol2:
I`m going to be holding a weekly seminar to teach people how to understand what minx actually means when she says stuff like this lol

Can I book my place? redface

11 Oct 2008

Quote by Theladyisaminx
My personal views are these I don’t hate anyone, hatred is full of anger, it can destroy a persons real character, it can make us bitter, cause resentment the bullies then would still be winning.
I can forgive and forget.
Move on and enjoy my life.
That way I have won the battle in my mind.

Minxy,
Then you are a far better person than I, I can never forgive and I certainly can't forget what happened to my friend.
I'm afraid that yes, I still hate with a passion the person that caused such a gentle soul to feel the only way to escape his pain was to take his own life. I'm not by nature a hateful or bitter person, but in this case I actually embrace it because it serves as a reminder of how evil people can be sometimes.
For the suffering you must have endured i can only offer a hug from afar.....

11 Oct 2008

Quote by staffcple

My personal views are these I don’t hate anyone, hatred is full of anger, it can destroy a persons real character, it can make us bitter, cause resentment the bullies then would still be winning.
I can forgive and forget.
Move on and enjoy my life.
That way I have won the battle in my mind.

Minxy,
Then you are a far better person than I, I can never forgive and I certainly can't forget what happened to my friend.
I'm afraid that yes, I still hate with a passion the person that caused such a gentle soul to feel the only way to escape his pain was to take his own life. I'm not by nature a hateful or bitter person, but in this case I actually embrace it because it serves as a reminder of how evil people can be sometimes.
For the suffering you must have endured i can only offer a hug from afar.....
I would like to thank you for your post and the hug x
I am a no better person than you, we all deal with things in different ways.
I might feel very different in your shoes,as you might in mine.
I can understand your feelings and these are the reasons I feel so strongly about the word bullying being so freely used, not just here but in everday life.
Minx kiss

11 Oct 2008

Minxy :cheers:
If a bully bullies a bully does that make them a bullied bullier? :rascal:
Minxy I understand you & I am sure you understand me!
Sam xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

12 Oct 2008

i thought i would have a think about this thread before commenting.
Personally i think that comparing SH forums and posting ettiquete/politics with forms of bullying affecting young children is dangerous, and it demeans and detracts form what is real bullying.

12 Oct 2008

Quote by flower411
Bullying can take on many forms, mental and physical, cyber etc., etc.,
I hate bullies with a passion. I've just started a new job and I'm what you call a 'watcher', I've already noticed one lady who is an absolute disgrace, the way she talks to people, no pleases or thank you's, sits on her arse ordering people around and belittles at the first chance, I'm well aware of her and she'll not be doing that to me, newbie or not.

I'm lucky, I can stand up for myself, it's the ones who can't that worries me. What is even more of a worry is more often than enough, a bullied person becomes a bully themselves, or shows immense pent up aggression/frustration in later life.

Sorry Jaymar I have to disagree with this statement.
I do believe bullies have been bullied, but I don't agree with people that have been bullied would become a bully.
No offence meant Minx......but my head is telling me that statement contradicts itself somewhat.
Either someone needs to explain how that could work- or I need IV caffeine :lol2:
I`m going to be holding a weekly seminar to teach people how to understand what minx actually means when she says stuff like this lol

Whatever the cost is Flower....count me in. :lol:

12 Oct 2008

Quote by DeeCee
i thought i would have a think about this thread before commenting.
Personally i think that comparing SH forums and posting ettiquete/politics with forms of bullying affecting young children is dangerous, and it demeans and detracts form what is real bullying.

Agreed. What is bullying?
From Cambridge online dictionary:
'bully
to hurt or frighten someone who is smaller or less powerful than you, often forcing them to do something they do not want to do'.

12 Oct 2008

Quote by Freckledbird
i thought i would have a think about this thread before commenting.
Personally i think that comparing SH forums and posting ettiquete/politics with forms of bullying affecting young children is dangerous, and it demeans and detracts form what is real bullying.

Agreed. What is bullying?
From Cambridge online dictionary:
'bully
to hurt or frighten someone who is smaller or less powerful than you, often forcing them to do something they do not want to do'.
And if you had seen a vulnerable teenager that had taken paracetemol after forum 'bullying' you might think differently. Bullying is bullying, online or in real life.

12 Oct 2008

Quote by Freckledbird
i thought i would have a think about this thread before commenting.
Personally i think that comparing SH forums and posting ettiquete/politics with forms of bullying affecting young children is dangerous, and it demeans and detracts form what is real bullying.

Agreed. What is bullying?
From Cambridge online dictionary:
'bully
to hurt or frighten someone who is smaller or less powerful than you, often forcing them to do something they do not want to do'.
Thats Bullying as i see it.
Horriffic and quite simple to achieve when it's perpertrated upon children... this is what i mean by real bullying.
As adults we are more on a par with each other concering size and power.

12 Oct 2008

Quote by northwest-cpl
i thought i would have a think about this thread before commenting.
Personally i think that comparing SH forums and posting ettiquete/politics with forms of bullying affecting young children is dangerous, and it demeans and detracts form what is real bullying.

Agreed. What is bullying?
From Cambridge online dictionary:
'bully
to hurt or frighten someone who is smaller or less powerful than you, often forcing them to do something they do not want to do'.
And if you had seen a vulnerable teenager that had taken paracetemol after forum 'bullying' you might think differently. Bullying is bullying, online or in real life.
sorry for the mix-up. I am really sgreeing with you.
The point i should have made clear that to compare SH forums and bullying of children.
I meant the SH forum in particular.
im only differentiating between bullying ( according to the definition) of children and are still children as i see it.
on-line or -offline it doesnt matter...on-line is often not surprised youngsters go to such extremes. Which proves my point... SH forums are not life and death...
Maybe i have missed the point? did this overdose taker do so because of SH?

12 Oct 2008

I dunno DeeCee,
I don't think there is that much difference.
Personally I see the whole size thing as a complete red herring, the physically biggest person can have the most fragile personality, in my experience once someone becomes the target of a bully, it's merely a matter of time before the lever is found which will then be used to beat the victim around the head with.
Now have I imho ever seen anyone bullied on here?
Honestly? No. I do however quantify that by saying again imho, I do believe there are those who use this forum who will go to any length to 'win' a debate and this ranges from those who are outright nasty and personal, to those who will throw a bullying or racist card at the first given opportunity, both equally as bad I think. Both are designed to browbeat others into either giving up or saying yes your right.
Pathetic in my opinion, but what can you do? I find the easiest way is the one I use, post and be damned!
Someone don't like my opinion, hey, let me know, i'll send them 20p, they can ring someone who cares.

13 Oct 2008

It's nice to see how upset people here are by bullying.
However, several people who have post on this thread have been named to me in private as bullies.
We can all bully on here without realising it.

13 Oct 2008

Quote by kentswingers777
Bullying can take on many forms, mental and physical, cyber etc., etc.,
I hate bullies with a passion. I've just started a new job and I'm what you call a 'watcher', I've already noticed one lady who is an absolute disgrace, the way she talks to people, no pleases or thank you's, sits on her arse ordering people around and belittles at the first chance, I'm well aware of her and she'll not be doing that to me, newbie or not.

I'm lucky, I can stand up for myself, it's the ones who can't that worries me. What is even more of a worry is more often than enough, a bullied person becomes a bully themselves, or shows immense pent up aggression/frustration in later life.

Sorry Jaymar I have to disagree with this statement.
I do believe bullies have been bullied, but I don't agree with people that have been bullied would become a bully.
No offence meant Minx......but my head is telling me that statement contradicts itself somewhat.
Either someone needs to explain how that could work- or I need IV caffeine :lol2:
I`m going to be holding a weekly seminar to teach people how to understand what minx actually means when she says stuff like this lol

Whatever the cost is Flower....count me in. :lol:
Ummm what minx means is that someone who has been Bullied becoming a bully is not a foregone conclusion. 1+1=3 Sort of thing.
It is the same analogy of those who have been abused becoming abusers.
Stats (don't you just love 'em) tell us that those who abuse very often have been abused. It doesn't actually follow that those who have been abused will all go on to abuse. I think that Minx is stating that with regards to bullies too.
Umm I think I have explained it ? If not ... I don't care. I agree with her. wink

13 Oct 2008

Quote by splendid_
Bullying can take on many forms, mental and physical, cyber etc., etc.,
I hate bullies with a passion. I've just started a new job and I'm what you call a 'watcher', I've already noticed one lady who is an absolute disgrace, the way she talks to people, no pleases or thank you's, sits on her arse ordering people around and belittles at the first chance, I'm well aware of her and she'll not be doing that to me, newbie or not.

I'm lucky, I can stand up for myself, it's the ones who can't that worries me. What is even more of a worry is more often than enough, a bullied person becomes a bully themselves, or shows immense pent up aggression/frustration in later life.

Sorry Jaymar I have to disagree with this statement.
I do believe bullies have been bullied, but I don't agree with people that have been bullied would become a bully.
No offence meant Minx......but my head is telling me that statement contradicts itself somewhat.
Either someone needs to explain how that could work- or I need IV caffeine :lol2:
I`m going to be holding a weekly seminar to teach people how to understand what minx actually means when she says stuff like this lol

Whatever the cost is Flower....count me in. :lol:
Ummm what minx means is that someone who has been Bullied becoming a bully is not a foregone conclusion. 1+1=3 Sort of thing.
It is the same analogy of those who have been abused becoming abusers.
Stats (don't you just love 'em) tell us that those who abuse very often have been abused. It doesn't actually follow that those who have been abused will all go on to abuse. I think that Minx is stating that with regards to bullies too.
Umm I think I have explained it ? If not ... I don't care. I agree with her. wink

Thanks splendid that is exactly what I meant.
Why doesn't anyone else understand? :lol:
but then reading back I confused myself! redface