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What is your Top tip of the day?

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Theladyisaminx
Sex God
My top tip is:
Read the instructions carefully before using body lotions to give a massage in delicate areas.
If it has ginger in it this is to be avoided! redface
As to what sets out to be a nice romantic evening. 69position hump kiss blast
Could lead to your partner being in the bathroom for the next hour runny cold water on delicate parts to cool down the burning sensation!! :fuckinghell:
I know I shouldn't laugh! rotflmao :rotflmao:
He has since recovered! :twisted:
Firelizard
Sex God
My top tip of the day id get off here and go and do some bluddy work confused
The tip obviously applies only to myself though wink
Lost
Sex God
My top tip of today is - Get the washing out it ain't raining.
Or.....my tip for life is
For peace and tranquility one only needs to look into the swirling depths of a mug of coffee, taking in the aroma, the magnificent richness of the immaculate brew caressing its way into mind. Sipping gently at the edge of that liquid heaven and letting yourself alight on the pleasure path introducing itself into your mouth.
Coffee is the worlds therapist. Get yourself on the programme.
staffcple
Master of Sex
Never eat yellow snow.
It really isn't lemon flavoured.
Unknown User
Top tip of the day is.... look out for bikers! Cos the next one that pulls out on me will get whats coming. lol
Unknown User
My top tip is aimed at Mr W....
When the wife is driving the car, she's more than capable of handling the tailgating white van man. Do not, under any circumstances, take it upon yourself to call him a "fucking wanker." This is especially important when you are in the middle of a telephone conversation with a high-ranking police officer.
rotflmao
After I'd slapped him- it was quite funny!
Unknown User
my tip.
get all your braking done before the 1/3 throttle as you lean in. and as soon as you see the end of the bend 100% throttle to the next.
Redpantherman
Sex God
Never piss in a toilet bowl while wondering what a roll of clingfilm is doing on the cistern! banghead
Peanut
Sex God
Use masking tape whilst attempting to drill through a ceramic tile.
Unknown User
Never sleep with someone whose problems are greater than your own :shock:
meat2pleaseu
Sex God
When approaching a roundabout on your bike, don't assume the car approaching in the opposite direction, without an indicator flashing, isn't going to turn right across the front of you, cos he's actually a limp dick, retarded, inbred, ignorant, shovel faced wank stain that seems to think he has right of way cos he's in a car.......tosser mad
Woohoo
Mod
Quote by kentswingers777
Top tip of the day is.... look out for bikers! Cos the next one that pulls out on me will get whats coming. lol
Unless it's a double decker bus or an 18 wheeler :lol: wink
Unknown User
Quote by Suffolk-cpl
Never accept hula hoops off a Rabbi redface

You would never be offered them; they are not kosher.
If it's some sort of reference to circumcision - rabbis don't perform them; mohels do!
My tip is: don't joke about religion. You never know who you might offend. Oh wait - that's another thread.
Unknown User
Don't post anything here if you scared of offending someone.
Someone somewhere will always take offence then a gang of their mates turn up and kick you.
oops thats another thread as well redface
HappyHerts69
Sexpert
Quote by TheLovelyOne
My tip is: don't joke about religion. You never know who you might offend. Oh wait - that's another thread.

Our tip is:
If you're an all powerful omnipresent deity, don't give your creations the ability to make jokes unless you have a sense of humour, because they may mock your policies worship :rascal:
Peanut
Sex God
Quote by TheLovelyOne
Never accept hula hoops off a Rabbi redface

You would never be offered them; they are not kosher.
If it's some sort of reference to circumcision - rabbis don't perform them; mohels do!
My tip is: don't joke about religion. You never know who you might offend. Oh wait - that's another thread.
Did you know that the traditional circumcision knife's handle is made from juniper wood?
HugsnKisses
Orgasminator
Do your washing at 30 degrees not 40, saves loads of electric and most stuff comes out just as clean .
Sarah
Sex God
Remember to take your door keys with you, before you leave the house and close the self locking door!!
Unknown User
If charged at by a gorilla, stand still and blow raspberries at it.
Unknown User
Quote by meat2pleaseu
When approaching a roundabout on your bike, don't assume the car approaching in the opposite direction, without an indicator flashing, isn't going to turn right across the front of you, cos he's actually a limp dick, retarded, inbred, ignorant, shovel faced wank stain that seems to think he has right of way cos he's in a car.......tosser mad

Must be the same tossers that follow me around on my bike. lol
Unknown User
order pizza on internet
dont have to speak to anyone and can pay by card
oh and dont feed cats garlic bread biggrin
Ukwineman
Orgasminator
Every 6 months turn your main water stopcock off and on again, then when you do need to turn it off it's not stuck solid.
of course this only works if you have bothered to find out where it is in the first place rotflmao
Peanut
Sex God
If you can't be arsed bending over to clean your bath, then last thing at night fill it with hot water and pour in about the same amount of washing powder as you would a normal wash. Then in the morning just empty the bath and rinse or shower off any soap scum remains.
You'll be left with a wonderfully shiny bath, presupposing that the bath was shiny before it got dirty biggrin
Unknown User
If it ain't broke, don't fix it!
Mrs 777 xxx
meat2pleaseu
Sex God
Quote by kentswingers777
If it ain't broke, don't fix it!
Mrs 777 xxx

That's Jimmy Savile out of a job then :mrgreen:
noladreams
Sex God
Go forth and flirt, frolic and cavort... preferably on the forum so we can all join in!
:rose:
Tan____Kinky
Sex God
Quote by Sarah
Remember to take your door keys with you, before you leave the house and close the self locking door!!

Damn kids have my life with self locking door screaming at them "the back door is friggin open" sometimes brings funny looks :doh: specially when its not actually said kids at the door :fuckinghell: :doh: Oh hello mr housing inspector confused
Quote by Ukwineman
Every 6 months turn your main water stopcock off and on again, then when you do need to turn it off it's not stuck solid.
of course this only works if you have bothered to find out where it is in the first place rotflmao

I know where mine is :smug: its in the pantry :smug:
it just so happens said pantry got demolished a year ago redface loon i guess its moved somewhere then :?
Tip of the day! A drop of bleach in the bucket when washing white or cream rugs brings em up nice and clean.