What makes someone sexy?

19 Nov 2007

We have just been having a small chat that was started by reading something in a post in another thread about swinging in some cases being "fuck and go"(Tm Ms-Minxie) lol

This interested me because I know in alot of situations such as clubs, the chance meet when you discover the other person swings too and maybe a private house party where you might play and never have met them before and won't do after that is exactly what happens....fuck and go!
How many of us can do or have done that? Do the majority of you like to do it that way or are there lots of you who have to do the whole get to know you first thing?
Us first as is the way......
Stormy although hasn't yet, could do the fuck and go thing as long as the lady in question was physically attractive to him and he didnt know anything at all about her.
I on the other hand prefer to get to know the person first. Not the whole nuts and bolts and see the baby photo's stuff just a little about the person, their views on things, how they react in certain situations (The Forum is brilliant for that one) For me someone's sexiness is not just how they look. In fact it's less about how they look and more about the way they project themselves (which probably explains why the forum is an important medium to me in my swinging experiences) I would have been useless as a swinger before the internet because I would have talked all night long and then been too knackered for sex rotflmao

Oh actually I just remembered I've still nearly done that before redface

Anyway what about you lot what are your thoughts on this?
Love
Fire xxx

19 Nov 2007

Bloody good question, oh dizzy one.
One I've even thought of posing myself. I've been in a bit of a conundrum TBH with the "fancying pants off" thread.
I was only talking to Mr W about it last night. I can't fancy someone I've not met. I think some of the people on here are amazing, some I would like to get to know, and some I already call friends- despite not having met them.
In the past I've met some "stunning" looking people- but just been completely unmoved & not fancied them remotely. When someone asks me to explain it the best I can come up with is a lack of chemistry.
I think Mr W is pretty good looking (blue eyed blonde) but those of you who have seen a pic of my lover would probably say he's "grizzled" looking- I fancy him coz he has bags of charisma.
You can be beautiful without being sexy. You can be sexy without being beautiful. I think it's down to charisma. A beautiful woman/handsome man with no twinkle in their eye's isn't sexy in my book.
Fire is one of those rare creatures who is sexy and beautiful wink

19 Nov 2007

have done the fuck and go thing alot but not because im so phyically attracted to that person more so because i saw something in them that made me go mmmmmmmm redface

personality and the ability to make me laugh turns me on a hell of alot more that pure looks alone

19 Nov 2007

I have done both, my preference is the whole getting to know someone so the mind gets as much fun as the body so to speak. i love that mental connection being there, the build up, the flirting, the excitement and anticipation of meeting them.
on the other hand there are times when you simply have to have a shag NOW! and they are the times i go in chat ask for a shag and do the whole fuck n fuck off thing.
but as i said its not my preference just necessity sometimes being single biggrin

Earthy xxx

19 Nov 2007

I agree with Winchy, I can't fancy someone I've not met.
For the whole 'fuck and go' (TM Ms-Minxie) thing, I don't tend to like to do this on my own, with my fb I'm not so bothered, maybe because I have a connection with him so I don't need one with them? To meet people on my own I have to know them a little better and know we have mutual likes and dislikes. I have done the one night stand thing and found it's not really for me, I didn't do it in my formative years, it was only fairly recent and I think I was just trying to prove to myself that I could pull biggrin

What makes someone sexy? I have no idea, for me there has to be a physical attraction and I have come to the conclusion that I have quite a specific 'type' that I go for. But in addition to this they have to have that certain something about them. I only wish I knew what that certain something was biggrin

H.x

19 Nov 2007

Quote by winchwench
Bloody good question, oh dizzy one.
One I've even thought of posing myself. I've been in a bit of a conundrum TBH with the "fancying pants off" thread.
I was only talking to Mr W about it last night. I can't fancy someone I've not met. I think some of the people on here are amazing, some I would like to get to know, and some I already call friends- despite not having met them.
In the past I've met some "stunning" looking people- but just been completely unmoved & not fancied them remotely. When someone asks me to explain it the best I can come up with is a lack of chemistry.
I think Mr W is pretty good looking (blue eyed blonde) but those of you who have seen a pic of my lover would probably say he's "grizzled" looking- I fancy him coz he has bags of charisma.
You can be beautiful without being sexy. You can be sexy without being beautiful. I think it's down to charisma. A beautiful woman/handsome man with no twinkle in their eye's isn't sexy in my book.
Fire is one of those rare creatures who is sexy and beautiful

This is interesting because I think it is perfectly possible to fancy someone you've not met. Fancying someone doesn't necessarily require you to be in the same physical space, but I think it does require some evidence of the real person.
Luckily in here we have the unguarded comments of various indiviuals, plus their profile details and their photos. More direct contact is also possible, via telephones and cams, where all of these snippets allow us to build a picture of the person.
I do agree with you that actually meeting someone can put another slant on things, but that's just another piece of information. For instance using all of these methods I've found that if I like the person at that stage, then when I've actually met the person, I've rarely been disappointed.
So what does it for me? Bright sensual eyes, and a quiet but confident intelligence, works every time. Dull but true redface

19 Nov 2007

I've not done the 'fuck and go' thing with a guy although there have been a couple who I've been tempted by :twisted:
Sexy, to me, is the whole package. Instant attraction comes from looks but they have to have that certain 'something' too. Although my preference is for tall and slim, I can get turned on by a shorter, chunkier guy if he's got the right attitude, spark, charisma and confidence about him that makes him even sexier wink

( and there is a certain guy on here who breaks all my usual taste for white guys only, he knows it too! :twisted: )

19 Nov 2007

I suppose I ought to add to what Fire said for the sake of clarification.
I could do the shag and go thing, with someone I know absolutely nothing about, based purely on a physical attraction, mine obviously. But, and ain’t there always a but, I would have to know next to nothing about the person for it to work. It would have to be a spontaneous shag without too much background from either of us. That way I would have only the physical self to worry about, personality and feelings would not get in the way. I would not have had the time to decide if I actually liked the person or not.
Of course this is all theoretical, as this particular scenario has never happened.
In reality I get to know people first, and only after a long process of attrition, would I get them into bed. redface

As Winchy said, Charisma and attitude are far more important that Physical perfection in my book, Of course if I found you physically perfect, that would help too. biggrin

19 Nov 2007

Quote by Stormwalker
I could do the shag and go thing, with someone I know absolutely nothing about, based purely on a physical attraction, mine obviously. But, and ain’t there always a but, I would have to know next to nothing about the person for it to work. It would have to be a spontaneous shag without too much background from either of us. That way I would have only the physical self to worry about, personality and feelings would not get in the way. I would not have had the time to decide if I actually liked the person or not.

I did this, it was great biggrin

three years on we're still doing it.
H.x

19 Nov 2007

Quote by H-x
I could do the shag and go thing, with someone I know absolutely nothing about, based purely on a physical attraction, mine obviously. But, and ain’t there always a but, I would have to know next to nothing about the person for it to work. It would have to be a spontaneous shag without too much background from either of us. That way I would have only the physical self to worry about, personality and feelings would not get in the way. I would not have had the time to decide if I actually liked the person or not.

I did this, it was great biggrin

three years on we're still doing it.
H.x
Grrrr rub it in why don't you. rolleyes

19 Nov 2007

I don't think I could do it. In fact i know I can't. Though I'm pretty certain I couldn't do it even after knowing someone for however long. Since meeting my wife I have only ever been able to 'shag' her. I can do the other stuff, fore play etc, of course. But actual shagging, nope, thats thats just me and the missus. Not for the want of trying.
As for what makes people sexy? Most of what others have said i guess otherwise its
Men = nothing! biggrin

Women = Thigh boots :thumbup:

19 Nov 2007

We regularly attend clubs, so I guess the playing there is a bit of a "fuck and go"... but there still has to be an element of attraction first. In the past we've ended up meeting couples in the bar, having a few drinks then we go for a neb around. Quite often in the playroom the couples we've chatted to are there and well.... wink

I really could not play with someone I didn't find attractive, the whole thing about playing is the fun you have and you can only have that if you are happy with your playmate.
I think men on the other hand are a bit more relaxed abou the whole thing, us women tend to ponder a bit more.. it's the whole "women are from venus, men are from mars" thingy! cool

In edit, I forgot to mention about the being sexy bit... I find the sexiest people are the ones who don't know they are. I agree with Winchy it's the charisma thing and I love a man with charisma and a quiet sexual aura that's smouldering around him.. silly

hwoar:

19 Nov 2007

Quote by Stormwalker
Grrrr rub it in why don't you.

Wax on........
Wax off.......
cool

H.x

19 Nov 2007

Quote by H-x

Grrrr rub it in why don't you.

Wax on........
Wax off.......
cool

H.x
How hot would you like it ?

19 Nov 2007

Good thread Fire. 1,000 pinky points as it a sex and swinging related thread.
Fuck & Go (tm Minxy)
Well we've been to clubs a few times so have met couples and had sex within an hour of meeting them, enough of a quick chat, suss out their general attitude, guage the chemistry before getting down to serious shagging 69position

It's different the build up of getting to know someone and is based more on physical looks (and for both of us there has to be a physical attraction). Often we've met up again so it's not been a complete fuck and go.
One time at a club when were very green (and stupid) we had a couple just join in with us by stroking us, we spoke barely three words before we all started playing. It was strangely erotic but afterwards I found it did little for me, whether it was the chemistry wasn't there (don't think I would have 'picked' him in a getting to know people stage) or because of not even knowing his name dunno

We were kinda going with the flow as we were new to the whole lifestyle and not really sure what we liked or not. We said bye and went our separate ways, they were french so knew they were only here on holiday. I just felt a bit numb really, not used cos that's not what swinging's all about, but felt there was no real chemistry which to me is very unattractive.
What makes someone sexy?
Something you often can't pinpoint, an aura sometimes, just the way they are. For me the sexiest things are confidence (but not arrogance), enthusiasm, sensual eyes and a smile. Although like Hx I do tend to have a type (but are not limited to just one type)but if this package comes on a tall/short/dark/fair/slim/chunky build then I find it incredibly attractive.
pink x

19 Nov 2007

(Cough)

lol...
Mike xx

19 Nov 2007

Quote by mdr2000
(Cough)
lol...
Mike xx

..thought I felt something poke me in the back rolleyes

19 Nov 2007

Quote by blueandpink
Good thread Fire. 1,000 pinky points as it a sex and swinging related thread.

harumph..... Fire actually gets allocated a specific number of points. I just get told I am given 'some' points rolleyes

>splendid flounces away<
and I aint feeling sexy at all so can't add to the thread at the min.. but will be back when I can. wink

19 Nov 2007

Quote by splendid_
Good thread Fire. 1,000 pinky points as it a sex and swinging related thread.

harumph..... Fire actually gets allocated a specific number of points. I just get told I am given 'some' points rolleyes

>splendid flounces away<
and I aint feeling sexy at all so can't add to the thread at the min.. but will be back when I can. wink

oh bugger I knew this would cause trouble, see i'm gonna have to keep a list.....let me re trace my steps Splendid kiss

19 Nov 2007

Quote by splendid_
Good thread Fire. 1,000 pinky points as it a sex and swinging related thread.

harumph..... Fire actually gets allocated a specific number of points. I just get told I am given 'some' points rolleyes

>splendid flounces away<
and I aint feeling sexy at all so can't add to the thread at the min.. but will be back when I can. wink

ah, but the pert way you wiggled when you flounced, looked very sexy to me.

19 Nov 2007

Quote by blueandpink
(Cough)
lol...
Mike xx

..thought I felt something poke me in the back rolleyes

Ohhh just the thought lol... Just the thought
wink

19 Nov 2007

i've always had mixed feelings on this subject, cause im quite a insecure person i find it easier to go to a club etc and just find a 'fuck' than have to do the whole getting to know someone thing, thats not cause i don't want to make friends and get to know people i just find it hard to talk to people i dont know, but on the other side of the scale once i have gotten to know someone and class them as a friend to me they than arn't a option to have sex with, i can't get naked infront of someone i see as a friend even if i met them thro swinging, i know why but people always laugh at me if i say and call me stupid so i'll keep that one to myself lol
So altho i would rather have sex with someone who knew me as a person and liked me i just find it easier to go to clubs and shag strangers smile