What's a guy to do ?

10 Sep 2004

I have a lovely, gorgeous lady from here coming to visit this evening, so I'm running around trying to get the place ready for her arrival. So far, I've accomplished the following:
* Stripped the bed and put bedding in washing machine
* Cleaned the loos
* Cleared the kitchen of rubbish
* Filled and started the dishwasher
* De-flead the dog
I'm all a-quiver, for obvious reasons, and my mind's not working right. What have I forgotten ??? dunno

10 Sep 2004

bath and a shave!! Air Freshener (pet stuff if u have animals!) Unless she loves dogs
haha LONG AS SHE DONT LOVE THE DOG MORE THAN YOU!! lol

10 Sep 2004

Two words;
Food and shower. wink

10 Sep 2004

:hump: :hump: :hump:
nice bottle of wine lucifer......condoms in the side dawer, down the side of the sofa....in your back pocket....under the pillow.....nice relaxing bath...possibly for the both of you....
sophiebifem and nige
__________________
sing............3 is the magic number

10 Sep 2004

Quote by Lucifer
I have a lovely, gorgeous lady from here coming to visit this evening, so I'm running around trying to get the place ready for her arrival. So far, I've accomplished the following:
* Stripped the bed and put bedding in washing machine
* Cleaned the loos
* Cleared the kitchen of rubbish
* Filled and started the dishwasher
* De-flead the dog
I'm all a-quiver, for obvious reasons, and my mind's not working right. What have I forgotten ???

I take it, Lucifer you have completed all these tasks to save her doing them on her arrival? Very commendable indeed!!
However, I take it that since you have washed the bedding, she will have to iron it?
That you have cleaned the loo so that she can do the bath and the wash basin?
That the rubbish is bagged up ready for her to take out?
That she will have to empty the dishwasher and pack everything away?
That she will have to walk the dog for you?
No, I don't think you have forgotten anything :lol2: and I hope you both have a really great time tonight - once she's finished!!!
Mal
wink

10 Sep 2004

the Viagra.....just about an hour before she arrives and you can welcome her in style

10 Sep 2004

Have you got time for a facelift before she gets there Lucifer m8??...........lol
Only joking......(or am I??).....lol
I think I know which lady you are talking about m8, and I feel sure that she is coming to see you and not the state of your house. Very commendable that you are going to the trouble for her and I can see why. She is a lovely lady. I'd be running round like a blue arsed fly if she was coming round to mine, but there's not much chance of that is there...........lol

10 Sep 2004

Clean your teeth and floss em. Use Listerine, too. Not that I'm guessing you have bad breath, but it doesn't hurt to be double sure.

10 Sep 2004

Definetly! Im always paranoid about smelly breath even after all the teeth brushing!! Packet of blue extra always comes in handy! wink

10 Sep 2004

Mood music and scented candles? Massage oils?

10 Sep 2004

Quote by JudyTV
Set the video camera on its tripod not forgetting to get her permission to use it. Aroma therapy candles in all the right places, CD player (compact disk lucifer not cross dresser) set with soft music in the tray. Don't forget your clean nicks and bra. Most important of all a bottle of good quality wine, soft lighting and Flowers for her and a well wrapped box of expensive chocs. All the compliments you can muster and loads and loads of smiles. Oh yea and ...Dont grab at her tits, girls don't like that, stroke them after whispering how lovely she looks and how delightful she smells. blow very, very gently into her ear and flick your tongue lightly on her earlobe. Then lingering eye contact and gentle brushing of the lips and lightly run your fingers down her cheek while kissing her neck....Then you can grab her tits
JudyTV

Cor Judy, you should take me out!!!
Mal
:wink:

10 Sep 2004

Quote by JudyTV
Set the video camera on its tripod not forgetting to get her permission to use it.

Or hidden web cam on a PPV site. wink

:lol:

10 Sep 2004

Quote by easy
Set the video camera on its tripod not forgetting to get her permission to use it.

Or hidden web cam on a PPV site. wink

:lol:
easy ...

:smackbottom: :smackbottom: :smackbottom:

quick pm me the address

10 Sep 2004

Have you polished the fruit bowl confused

:
Also make sure you have something exotic in there like one of those new fangled banana things or even an orange
its considered a sign of good breeding (well at least in the midlands it is)

10 Sep 2004

Quote by fruity1976
LONG AS SHE DONT LOVE THE DOG MORE THAN YOU!!

Strange you should mention it, I received a postcard from a lady friend this morning. It was addressed to my dog !!! Damned mutt !! :lol:

Quote by Starsign_2
nice relaxing bath...possibly for the both of you....

Now that's a damned fine idea Sophie. I'd better add "clean bath" to the list then :lol:

Quote by bi_curious_man123
Have you got time for a facelift before she gets there Lucifer m8??...........lol

Hmmmm that reminds me, I'd better iron my butt as well :lol:

Quote by Vix
Clean your teeth and floss em. Use Listerine, too. Not that I'm guessing you have bad breath, but it doesn't hurt to be double sure.

Thanks Vix, normally it's a toss-up who's worse, me or the dog :lol:

Quote by fruity1976
Packet of blue extra always comes in handy!

Fruity, what on earth could they be for, eh? :wink:

Quote by JudyTV
Dont grab at her tits, girls don't like that, stroke them after whispering how lovely she looks and how delightful she smells. blow very, very gently into her ear and flick your tongue lightly on her earlobe. Then lingering eye contact and gentle brushing of the lips and lightly run your fingers down her cheek while kissing her neck....Then you can grab her tits :wink:
JudyTV

JudyTV, please pm me your phone number so I can call you for advice when I get stuck with what to do next :wink:

10 Sep 2004

Balloons ? And not forgetting of course jelly and icecream lol

Good luck for tonight .

10 Sep 2004

good on ya lucy :twisted:
try bounceing up and down on the bed like you do to me in the chat room bound to get her in the mood
nice clean breath a must .......plus clean underwear...and for goodness sake change yer socks
wink

im sure you ll have a brilliant time ....x

10 Sep 2004

Put in washing powder and turn on washing machine.
Do not forget to:-
HOVER THE FLOOR

10 Sep 2004

Quote by warwick
Also make sure you have something exotic in there like one of those new fangled banana things or even an orange
its considered a sign of good breeding (well at least in the midlands it is)

Bet you don't find many then! :twisted:

10 Sep 2004

Quickly take the dog to the vets and have his poor little balls removed - Unless he's a she!
Saves embarrassment if he likes her more than you and tries to shag her leg!!
Makes an awful mess of stockings lol lol

10 Sep 2004

Quote by JudyTV
... Then lingering eye contact and gentle brushing of the lips and lightly run your fingers down her cheek while kissing her neck....Then you can grab her tits

Works for me everytime... :thumbup: biggrin

10 Sep 2004

Quote by Lucifer
So far, I've accomplished the following:
* Stripped the bed and put bedding in washing machine
* Cleaned the loos
* Cleared the kitchen of rubbish
* Filled and started the dishwasher
* De-flead the dog

You do realiise that her natural assumption will be that you're married and your wife cleans the house for you, right?