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When do I see the real person?

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It may seem a simple question, but is it possible to see the real person. Do I see the real person in company when they are not trying to please just one individual. Do I see the real person when alone with them when they do not conform to social morns. Is it only possible to see the real person on a site like this, when talking to strangers.
Put another way if I met someone from this site and we spoke about subjects on this site, would I know who they are.
Quote by
It may seem a simple question, but is it possible to see the real person. Do I see the real person in company when they are not trying to please just one individual. Do I see the real person when alone with them when they do not conform to social morns. Is it only possible to see the real person on a site like this, when talking to strangers.
Put another way if I met someone from this site and we spoke about subjects on this site, would I know who they are.

Answered simply, I don’t think we ever really do. No matter how well you know someone, unless you have lived every second of their life as they have, you will only ever know the “them” they choose to show you.
Most of the time I have no clue who I really am so I don't expect anyone else to really know me, either here or in real life.
H.x
Quote by H-x
Most of the time I have no clue who I really am so I don't expect anyone else to really know me, either here or in real life.
H.x

Stand up everyone who feels like this!
Oh, OK, then sit down anyone who doesn't. lol
Good one H-x
I'm standing.....
Bit heavy for a Wednesday morning isn't it?
I think everybody to some degree puts on an act or show to give other people maybe a different view of themselves. Think about the last time you were having a bad day but made out to others everything is fine and you'll know what I'm talking about.
Maybe I'm wrong, but I'm sure the general concensus of people on here don't want to meet dull, uninteresting people who've had a bad day at work we want our mood lifted, have good conversation and anything else that may pass their way..... I save the 'ordinary stuff' for hubby when he gets home from work!
Wanted to post something clever and funny but as usaul I can't so...
I'm not sure who I am, too busy pretending to be someone else????
The walls we build to protect ourselves quickly become our prisons.
Quote by
It may seem a simple question, but is it possible to see the real person. Do I see the real person in company when they are not trying to please just one individual. Do I see the real person when alone with them when they do not conform to social morns. Is it only possible to see the real person on a site like this, when talking to strangers.
Put another way if I met someone from this site and we spoke about subjects on this site, would I know who they are.

That's got to depend on the individual surely ?
Some people will be the person they are in any situation. Others will be more reserved and keep their true self until they are alone with someone. I would imagine some people never even reveal their true self to anyone, prefering maybe to project an image of the person they want to be (eg. confident instead of shy etc).
Then there are others who may put on a facade on a website (maybe projecting an image of being bubbly when they are usually quite quiet) but who show their true selves in a social situation.
There are probably yet more types of people but without an "ology" I'll stick with what I have just typed ;)
Minx x x
Blimey!
Ive been trying to add something here....
...but can't find the blasted words!
Probably for the better... consider youselves *spared*!
LP
londonpersonalitycrisisthing
We're all many different people in different moods and with different people. Many of us have friends who vary vastly from each other, but each one has something in their personality which reflects something in ours. Every one of these facets is real and genuine and just one aspect of the whole. Sometimes we wait for years to share a dormant part of ourselves with another person, because we've not yet met the right person to make this aspect come alive and shine. Sometimes we know of the existence of these charateristics and try to explain them to other people or simply enjoy them in privacy, sometimes they only bud in our own knowledge when a stranger draws them out.
I try to be as open and honest with people I meet as much as I feel I can be with them. With me, what you see is what you get. I speak straight and would like to be treated the same by others.
Someone asked me last week if there were any other sides to me but I honestly don't know. I don't think I have different sides but certainly different levels of me. There are certain things I would only share with someone I call my soulmate and he probably knows me better than my ex hubby of 13 years because we can communicate on a totally different level.
As for friends, lovers, mates, shag buddies etc, they do get the 'real' me as I don't see the point trying to be anything or anyone else.
That all made sense to me but if it's total bollocks, blame the medication I'm on right now
blink
Quote by Sassy-Seren
I try to be as open and honest with people I meet as much as I feel I can be with them. With me, what you see is what you get. I speak straight and would like to be treated the same by others.
Someone asked me last week if there were any other sides to me but I honestly don't know. I don't think I have different sides but certainly different levels of me. There are certain things I would only share with someone I call my soulmate and he probably knows me better than my ex hubby of 13 years because we can communicate on a totally different level.
As for friends, lovers, mates, shag buddies etc, they do get the 'real' me as I don't see the point trying to be anything or anyone else.
That all made sense to me but if it's total bollocks, blame the medication I'm on right now
blink

How honest is honest Sassy? For example, does everyone in your family and work know that you're bi and that's a big aspect of your personality. I've never bothered to tell family because it's irrelevant to my relationship with them. I had pictures of women up as a teenager at one point and I was never mainstream, so they might easily suspect or know. Since I've been married for so long and have no intentions of leaving my husband, I think this is an aspect of my personality that is only relevant to good friends or swinging partners.
I know I come across as being..Outgoing, sometimes funny, Kind, Dizzy, Easygoing, up for a laugh and an adventure. However these are just some of my qualities. There are others that are not so nice that I try to quell as much as possible. Obviously some days I show one combination of the traits and other days a different combination is shown depending on mood, weather and company. So I suppose everyone sees the real me but the real me evolves as the days go by and life experiences change me. :confused2:
Quote by loveh4s
I try to be as open and honest with people I meet as much as I feel I can be with them. With me, what you see is what you get. I speak straight and would like to be treated the same by others.
Someone asked me last week if there were any other sides to me but I honestly don't know. I don't think I have different sides but certainly different levels of me. There are certain things I would only share with someone I call my soulmate and he probably knows me better than my ex hubby of 13 years because we can communicate on a totally different level.
As for friends, lovers, mates, shag buddies etc, they do get the 'real' me as I don't see the point trying to be anything or anyone else.
That all made sense to me but if it's total bollocks, blame the medication I'm on right now
blink

How honest is honest Sassy? For example, does everyone in your family and work know that you're bi and that's a big aspect of your personality.I've never bothered to tell family because it's irrelevant to my relationship with them. I had pictures of women up as a teenager at one point and I was never mainstream, so they might easily suspect or know. Since I've been married for so long and have no intentions of leaving my husband, I think this is an aspect of my personality that is only relevant to good friends or swinging partners.
I've highlighted the bit where you've hit the nail right on the head. I guess that's what I would class as a different level of my personality and one that I don't feel the need to share with those people who have no need to know the same as the people I meet through here don't need to know other more personal details of my life.
I think you can get to see and know the 'real' person you meet without having to know the ins and outs of their entire lives unless your relationship with them warrents that depth of knowledge
Quote by loveh4s
We're all many different people in different moods and with different people. Many of us have friends who vary vastly from each other, but each one has something in their personality which reflects something in ours. Every one of these facets is real and genuine and just one aspect of the whole. Sometimes we wait for years to share a dormant part of ourselves with another person, because we've not yet met the right person to make this aspect come alive and shine. Sometimes we know of the existence of these charateristics and try to explain them to other people or simply enjoy them in privacy, sometimes they only bud in our own knowledge when a stranger draws them out.

THAT was it.. exactly!
Only I would have given a load a drivle, making no sence to me, let alone anyone else.
Ta!
I'm enjoying this topic because it has inspired such thoughtful answers. This also seems particularly true.
Quote by firelizard
...So I suppose everyone sees the real me but the real me evolves as the days go by and life experiences change me. :confused2:

I think our personalities, like our faces, are built on the foundations of our natures, but are continually changed through time and experiences, though rarely too far from their origins. I guess things like behavoural therapy, that can change aspects of personality, can be compared with face lifts and plastic surgery.
Personality should perhaps be considered in different terms:
the personality that the person feels is their's,
the personality in it's idealised form which they want to develop
and the personalities which will be seen by different people at any one time.
I think that it's important to remember that different people will view any one person's personality differently, because they are seeing it through the filters of their own different personalities.
If that doesn't confuse people, then I must be suddenly possessed by some new heights of communicative skills that I didn't have before, lol
Quote by LondonPlaything
We're all many different people in different moods and with different people. Many of us have friends who vary vastly from each other, but each one has something in their personality which reflects something in ours. Every one of these facets is real and genuine and just one aspect of the whole. Sometimes we wait for years to share a dormant part of ourselves with another person, because we've not yet met the right person to make this aspect come alive and shine. Sometimes we know of the existence of these charateristics and try to explain them to other people or simply enjoy them in privacy, sometimes they only bud in our own knowledge when a stranger draws them out.

THAT was it.. exactly!
Only I would have given a load a drivle, making no sence to me, let alone anyone else.
Ta!
Someone not only understands what I think but feels the same??!
Wow, I think that one compliment might make me smile till Sat, when I'm hoping to have something new to smile about, lol. I'd better log off now before I spoil my one moment of clarity.
lol cool
I wouldnt want to turn this into a compliments-fest Loveh4s, but, Im with you all the way on this.
I'd hate to have to try to describe myself, as I feel, nay, Know, that what I think of me, and what others percieve is vastly different.
>sometimes never the twain shall meet, niether!<
Quote by
It may seem a simple question, but is it possible to see the real person. Do I see the real person in company when they are not trying to please just one individual. Do I see the real person when alone with them when they do not conform to social morns. Is it only possible to see the real person on a site like this, when talking to strangers.
Put another way if I met someone from this site and we spoke about subjects on this site, would I know who they are.

A more important question is why do you want to see the real person? Are you interested in a person so much that you want to see the "real" them? If that is so, then spend time with them in "real" time.
A persons personality can alter depending upon the circumstances and environment that they are in.
Me personally, I show different sides of my personality depending upon who I am with and what environment I am in. I think for me it is a self defence mechanism. I am only truly "just me", around the people I know will not take advantage of me in any way; ridicule anything I may say or do; who I trust implicitly; and just love me for being just me.
Alex xxx
The wisdom of Jesus Jones
Real, real, real
Do you feel real?
And if so i'd like to know
How to feel real real
Do you feel real?
And if so i'd like to know
How to feel real real
Quote by loveh4s
We're all many different people in different moods and with different people. Many of us have friends who vary vastly from each other, but each one has something in their personality which reflects something in ours. Every one of these facets is real and genuine and just one aspect of the whole. Sometimes we wait for years to share a dormant part of ourselves with another person, because we've not yet met the right person to make this aspect come alive and shine. Sometimes we know of the existence of these charateristics and try to explain them to other people or simply enjoy them in privacy, sometimes they only bud in our own knowledge when a stranger draws them out.

I like that it is very true.
Quote by Sassy-Seren
I try to be as open and honest with people I meet as much as I feel I can be with them. With me, what you see is what you get. I speak straight and would like to be treated the same by others.
Someone asked me last week if there were any other sides to me but I honestly don't know. I don't think I have different sides but certainly different levels of me. There are certain things I would only share with someone I call my soulmate and he probably knows me better than my ex hubby of 13 years because we can communicate on a totally different level.
As for friends, lovers, mates, shag buddies etc, they do get the 'real' me as I don't see the point trying to be anything or anyone else.
That all made sense to me but if it's total bollocks, blame the medication I'm on right now
blink

That all made sense to me as well. Though some see the action man, some philosopher. I am as much a reflection of them as they of me. If that makes sence I will be surprised.
Quote by
We're all many different people in different moods and with different people. Many of us have friends who vary vastly from each other, but each one has something in their personality which reflects something in ours. Every one of these facets is real and genuine and just one aspect of the whole. Sometimes we wait for years to share a dormant part of ourselves with another person, because we've not yet met the right person to make this aspect come alive and shine. Sometimes we know of the existence of these charateristics and try to explain them to other people or simply enjoy them in privacy, sometimes they only bud in our own knowledge when a stranger draws them out.

I like that it is very true.
I liked your topic. Now please say something I disagree with strongly, so that people don't think I'm too agreeable!! lol :lol:
Quote by firelizard
I know I come across as being..Outgoing, sometimes funny, Kind, Dizzy, Easygoing, up for a laugh and an adventure. However these are just some of my qualities. There are others that are not so nice that I try to quell as much as possible. Obviously some days I show one combination of the traits and other days a different combination is shown depending on mood, weather and company. So I suppose everyone sees the real me but the real me evolves as the days go by and life experiences change me. :confused2:

So yesterday I was a different person, tomorrow I meet a stranger.
Quote by loveh4s
I'm enjoying this topic because it has inspired such thoughtful answers. This also seems particularly true.
...So I suppose everyone sees the real me but the real me evolves as the days go by and life experiences change me. :confused2:

I think our personalities, like our faces, are built on the foundations of our natures, but are continually changed through time and experiences, though rarely too far from their origins. I guess things like behavoural therapy, that can change aspects of personality, can be compared with face lifts and plastic surgery.
Personality should perhaps be considered in different terms:
the personality that the person feels is their's,
the personality in it's idealised form which they want to develop
and the personalities which will be seen by different people at any one time.
I think that it's important to remember that different people will view any one person's personality differently, because they are seeing it through the filters of their own different personalities.
If that doesn't confuse people, then I must be suddenly possessed by some new heights of communicative skills that I didn't have before, lol
I like that. To one I am arrogant, to another confident.
Quote by
I'm enjoying this topic because it has inspired such thoughtful answers. This also seems particularly true.
...So I suppose everyone sees the real me but the real me evolves as the days go by and life experiences change me. :confused2:

I think our personalities, like our faces, are built on the foundations of our natures, but are continually changed through time and experiences, though rarely too far from their origins. I guess things like behavoural therapy, that can change aspects of personality, can be compared with face lifts and plastic surgery.
Personality should perhaps be considered in different terms:
the personality that the person feels is their's,
the personality in it's idealised form which they want to develop
and the personalities which will be seen by different people at any one time.
I think that it's important to remember that different people will view any one person's personality differently, because they are seeing it through the filters of their own different personalities.
If that doesn't confuse people, then I must be suddenly possessed by some new heights of communicative skills that I didn't have before, lol
I like that. To one I am arrogant, to another confident.
I'm going for a drink... too many people have agreed with me today, am feeling really confused!
:crazy:
my real self scares me - and a few of the blokes i've met...
Quote by
Put another way if I met someone from this site and we spoke about subjects on this site, would I know who they are.

No.
I think it was Chris Rock who said…
“When you go out on a date with a guy for the first time you are not really out on a date with him – you’re out on a date with his representative”
I think that is true in many situations.
On here, at best you know what people want you to know about them and people can easily hide all the shit they don’t want you to see. Even if they don't try and hide it - you can't see it unless they type it.
Cyber space is an ideal place for the inadequate to make believe (and sometimes believe themselves) that they are the person they wished they could be.
Quote by PoloLady
...
Cyber space is an ideal place for the inadequate to make believe (and sometimes believe themselves) that they are the person they wished they could be.

Is this a confession? We all think that you're a tiger, but you're really a pussy cat Polo?
Oh my god, I don't know why I said that, I'm terrified that you'll bite!
:scared: