Would it be:
A) When chatting on pm, in the room, msn, telephone
or
B) When you have met for a social i.e. having a drink in a pub
or
C) When you are at your place or theirs and having a drink together
or
D) When having a BJ and you have nearly reached the peak and they stop and say "By the way ............................"
Answers on a post card to Dave_Notts, Nottingham
Dave_Notts
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When is the time to sort out the boundaries????
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I reckon as soon as conversation starts getting sexual ...... Maybe, if the situation is right, bring the conversation round to favourite things, what you and the other person(s) find a turn on, then you can bounce ideas off each other and both/all reach the agreement of whether you're suited or not?
Personality also goes a long way, so chatting about intimate stuff also gives you the chance to sus out each others manner.
You can even treat it like a game ....... something like both/all doing a top 3 list of turn ons and also a bottom 3 list of turn offs. Then see if they match - even if they don't match at all, it can make for a good natter - it's fun
Note: above game can also be played with top 3 yes yes's and bottom 3 noways!
Personality also goes a long way, so chatting about intimate stuff also gives you the chance to sus out each others manner.
You can even treat it like a game ....... something like both/all doing a top 3 list of turn ons and also a bottom 3 list of turn offs. Then see if they match - even if they don't match at all, it can make for a good natter - it's fun
Note: above game can also be played with top 3 yes yes's and bottom 3 noways!
Sex God
Oh, sorry, thought this was going to be a post about cricket!
Backs out of door again
Mike.
Backs out of door again
Mike.
Dave_Notts - THANKYOU!!!!
I`ve been a little worried about when to cut the sexual banter, and when to discuss whether or not we actually do want to go much further. When we are happy to make friends for friends sake only, and when to establish that the other person/persons may only want to meet for swinging purposes only. If we were to meet for a drink, enjoy each others company, and agree to meet up for another drink for instance, would that be taken as a sexual interest by the other party? We want to make regular friends within this community whether or not we decide to have sex with them. None of this has been an issue just yet, and I`m sure I`m probably worrying about nothing, for I have a feeling that others here would be much more forthcoming than that, but I do very much worry about making a faux pas! When does the line between friendly flirting and serious discussion get drawn?
That`s normal isn`t it? Worrying about this stuff, when new to the scene?
Venusxxx
I`ve been a little worried about when to cut the sexual banter, and when to discuss whether or not we actually do want to go much further. When we are happy to make friends for friends sake only, and when to establish that the other person/persons may only want to meet for swinging purposes only. If we were to meet for a drink, enjoy each others company, and agree to meet up for another drink for instance, would that be taken as a sexual interest by the other party? We want to make regular friends within this community whether or not we decide to have sex with them. None of this has been an issue just yet, and I`m sure I`m probably worrying about nothing, for I have a feeling that others here would be much more forthcoming than that, but I do very much worry about making a faux pas! When does the line between friendly flirting and serious discussion get drawn?
That`s normal isn`t it? Worrying about this stuff, when new to the scene?
Venusxxx
Sex God
Personally, I like people to make sure what they might get or not get as early as possible. That means if people reply to my ad or PM me and I don't think they're clear on what I'm after I will tell them there and then. It avoids wasting time all round. But they are just general things, like making sure they know Satin is a TV, or that I like watching man on man - just so they know....
However, it does depend on what the boundaries are, some situations just "evolve" naturally, so a specific "boundary" chat might not be necessary.
I generally leave specific things like the fact I don't like kissing unsaid unless I'm asked or the situation arises. But if there is something you REALLY want to do or not, there's no problem saying it early on.
However, it does depend on what the boundaries are, some situations just "evolve" naturally, so a specific "boundary" chat might not be necessary.
I generally leave specific things like the fact I don't like kissing unsaid unless I'm asked or the situation arises. But if there is something you REALLY want to do or not, there's no problem saying it early on.
The reality is, that I`m pretty forthcoming myself when I`m relaxed, and I`m relaxed with most people, so a faux pas is unlikely, unless I have really missed something! It is just a habit of mine to try to prepare for all eventualities. 
Aww Bluexxx, c`mon, gizza snog :twisted:
Venusxxx
I generally leave specific things like the fact I don't like kissing unsaid unless I'm asked or the situation arises.
Aww Bluexxx, c`mon, gizza snog :twisted:
Venusxxx
Orgasminator
All the time & effort you put into trying to get to know someone via here / msn etc only to be dissapointed at the last hurddle upon meeting them, when what you consider is fun to do & a turn on only repulses the person whom you have met up with.
So yes I agree the earlier the better.
So yes I agree the earlier the better.
Orgasminator
This topic is very helpful to us as we are quite new to swinging heaven (but not to swinging lol!). Our experience of the contact scene so far has been very varied. It is very frustrating when people play games and try to manipulate when you are at the last hurdle. We think it is essential to discuss what you all like and don't like as early as possible.
Sex God
it is a very interesting questiion.. and different people approach it different ways....
i love making friends and meeting people... i tend to know that if something feels right and there may be something sexual then at that point i tend to ask, beisde the main thing is for everyone to enjoy themselves and i suppose it could lead to misunderstanding if not mentioned beforehand....
sean xxxxxxx
i love making friends and meeting people... i tend to know that if something feels right and there may be something sexual then at that point i tend to ask, beisde the main thing is for everyone to enjoy themselves and i suppose it could lead to misunderstanding if not mentioned beforehand....
sean xxxxxxx
Orgasminator
I make sure that the boundaries are set out as soon as possible, that way nothing should go wrong and if yours are vastly different to the other persons then you have time to back out before anything gets started.
Last night, house guest says "Can I stay, tonight?" (just try and leave, thinks I)
Me: "Yep. You wanna take the sofa bed, or you can get in bed with us?" I think this was a surprise to him, but he seemed to like the idea.
Half an hour later he says "Are we going to bed, coz I really need a fcuk now?"
OK by us, but then I need to know if he's gonna give Reese a slap if he touches him.
We all kinda discussed what we were doing, as we were doing it. But we did all set up a few basic 'no-go' rules, beforehand. All turned out OK.
He made us breakfast this morning, too. Bless.
Me: "Yep. You wanna take the sofa bed, or you can get in bed with us?" I think this was a surprise to him, but he seemed to like the idea.
Half an hour later he says "Are we going to bed, coz I really need a fcuk now?"
OK by us, but then I need to know if he's gonna give Reese a slap if he touches him.
We all kinda discussed what we were doing, as we were doing it. But we did all set up a few basic 'no-go' rules, beforehand. All turned out OK.
He made us breakfast this morning, too. Bless.
Orgasminator
Quote by Vix
"You wanna take the sofa bed, or you can get in bed with us?"
I would have thought it would have been a greater laugh trying to get 3 of ya into a sofa bed.
The WHOOSH Man
Quote by SlydeWHOOSH
I would have thought it would have been a greater laugh trying to get 3 of ya into a sofa bed.
The WHOOSH Man
Well, the bedside table (with lamp alarmclock, etc, etc) would have fared much better if we had stayed in the other room. Haven't dare pick it up and survery the damage, yet.
Orgasminator
Has he got big feet or summert 
:
I know you had 'Side Show Bob' last night
I hope not too much damage has been caused
The WHOOSH Man
: I know you had 'Side Show Bob' last night
I hope not too much damage has been caused
The WHOOSH Man
Orgasminator
You know what it means when a bloke has big feet?????
He has to buy BIG SOCKS!!!
He has to buy BIG SOCKS!!!
Sex God
Quote by Vix
Last night, house guest says "Can I stay, tonight?" (just try and leave, thinks I)
Me: "Yep. You wanna take the sofa bed, or you can get in bed with us?" I think this was a surprise to him, but he seemed to like the idea.
Half an hour later he says "Are we going to bed, coz I really need a fcuk now?"
OK by us, but then I need to know if he's gonna give Reese a slap if he touches him.
We all kinda discussed what we were doing, as we were doing it. But we did all set up a few basic 'no-go' rules, beforehand. All turned out OK.
He made us breakfast this morning, too. Bless.
...and, then, a neighbour stopped by to visit just as the three of us had finished brekkie, and Vix told her that our friend had cooked it for us. After the neighbour complained that none of her houseguests had ever cooked her breastfast, Vix began to say, "Well, you probably didn't sh..." and then, wisely, stopped.
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