Hi
As newbie's, we are looking for some advice as to how, when & who makes the "1st move" once you have met someone and either brought them or invited them to your house.
Now this may seem a simple questions and may have been answered previously, but we are finding it awkward. Recently met a guy @ a club, had quite a chat, invited him home a couple weeks later, mid bj he lost bottle got dressed and left..............what did I do wrong??
Can you please help with :-
How do you greet a guy/couple (we are a couple)
How do you begin (we not the rip their clothes off people) yet !
How does the conversation............. Do you discuss what you are about to or would like to do?
Sorry if this seems obvious to some, but we are not too outward people or experienced, everyone has to start somehwere and others experiences would help us. Any advice would be appreciated to make our lifestyle experiences fun, pleasurable and possibly selfish on the way.
Thanks
G & B
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when you invite them home....how, who & when???
The best thing to do is just have a drink at the local pub....just chat about normal sort of things.....get easy with each other and then maybe suggest that he comes back to yours....
When you get back to yours you can either suggest going straight upstairs (although that might be a little scary for him) or get a bottle of wine out and some nibbles and start by kissing and light stuff before you go for the heavy stuff....
When you get back to yours you can either suggest going straight upstairs (although that might be a little scary for him) or get a bottle of wine out and some nibbles and start by kissing and light stuff before you go for the heavy stuff....
it is a awkward situation, we have been swinging for about 6 or so years now and there still don't seem to be a right moment, i tend to go with flo if everyone is happy things will move on, if you find it a effort to get the ball rolling maybe they not the right people/person for you, not sure what else to say really lol
I don't think you did anything wrong - mid blow-job means everything started ok. The guy probably wasn't as "up-for-it" as he first thought he was! Probably just nerves. The other possibility is that you or your fella said something that hit a raw nerve - no telling what that might be, some people just have things they don't want to hear. Don't let it worry you, there'll be someone more reliable along soon. As for how to start, well I recently was on the other side of your situation as the "single" guy invited to meet a couple. They were less experienced than me (not that I'm a hardened swinger!) so I just chatted and took my time then held the ladies hand and gradually started to caress her - checking all the time to see if the signals I was getting were positive. At the first sign of a "slow-down" signal I would have done just that. As it happens everything went well and we ended up have a really good time - her fella only wanted to watch at first but joined in later.
So, just take it easy, let the guy know what you want from him, what your limits are and tell him a "keyword" that, if you say it at any time it means STOP. If he can't respect that then look for another. There's a lot of good guys on here!
Hope that helped.
Adam
So, just take it easy, let the guy know what you want from him, what your limits are and tell him a "keyword" that, if you say it at any time it means STOP. If he can't respect that then look for another. There's a lot of good guys on here!
Hope that helped.
Adam
I always meet people for a social first to see whether or not we 'click' enough to take things further. By the time we meet, we already know enough about what we both/all like and dislike, what we want and what we're comfortable with. It sounds a bit clinical and staged but we know that when we get to the bedroom, it's going to happen the way we want it to.
My problem is, when I meet someone I really feel attracted to there and then. I tend not to in case I'm either A: so in your face they recoil or they really don't fancy me after all or B: so subtle they don't read the signs. How many times have I missed out on a shag by not being upfront ? :doh:
I can take rejection ( as has happened a few times ) though usually via a pm or email the next day but not sure how I'd react to 'sod off you sad bint, I'd rather shag your dog'
Sorry, I don't think I even answered the question there but I'm so full off flu meds at the mo, I'm a little high :shock:
My problem is, when I meet someone I really feel attracted to there and then. I tend not to in case I'm either A: so in your face they recoil or they really don't fancy me after all or B: so subtle they don't read the signs. How many times have I missed out on a shag by not being upfront ? :doh:
I can take rejection ( as has happened a few times ) though usually via a pm or email the next day but not sure how I'd react to 'sod off you sad bint, I'd rather shag your dog'
Sorry, I don't think I even answered the question there but I'm so full off flu meds at the mo, I'm a little high :shock:
We had a meet last year which was great, we were all nervous and went for drinks first. Even the drinks didn't really get rid of the nerves. Back at this couple's house, they got out a board game of the naughty kind 
and we started playing it. The game got us all sitting on the floor and we totally chilled out had a laugh and things kind of progressed from there... it was brill! 
What you need to remember is that if you are feeling nervous, you can bet your bottom dollar the other couple are also.
I really don't think you did anything wrong hun please don't worry, maybe he just thought it wasn't for him, he should have explained this to you tho.
and we started playing it. The game got us all sitting on the floor and we totally chilled out had a laugh and things kind of progressed from there... it was brill! What you need to remember is that if you are feeling nervous, you can bet your bottom dollar the other couple are also.
I really don't think you did anything wrong hun please don't worry, maybe he just thought it wasn't for him, he should have explained this to you tho. Quote by jaymar
We had a meet last year which was great, we were all nervous and went for drinks first. Even the drinks didn't really get rid of the nerves. Back at this couple's house, they got out a board game of the naughty kind
What you need to remember is that if you are feeling nervous, you can bet your bottom dollar the other couple are also.
I think that's brilliant advice!! :thumbup:
Quote by DreamerHelen
We had a meet last year which was great, we were all nervous and went for drinks first. Even the drinks didn't really get rid of the nerves. Back at this couple's house, they got out a board game of the naughty kind
What you need to remember is that if you are feeling nervous, you can bet your bottom dollar the other couple are also.
I think that's brilliant advice!! :thumbup:
Aaaw thanks sweetie, nice of you to say so
I dont think you did anything wrong at all in the way you met and arranged things
reliabilaty was not an issue either as he did turn up as aranged
It was just a case of either he changed his mind (we all have a right to do so at any time) or nerves got the better of him and he bolted to save his blushes
It was unfortunate his timing and the way he did it
He should have explained to you why he could no longer continue so you did not blame the fault is clearly his
I hope it does not put you off and i am sure you will meet and have a great time with the right people
Good luck for the future
reliabilaty was not an issue either as he did turn up as aranged
It was just a case of either he changed his mind (we all have a right to do so at any time) or nerves got the better of him and he bolted to save his blushes
It was unfortunate his timing and the way he did it
He should have explained to you why he could no longer continue so you did not blame the fault is clearly his
I hope it does not put you off and i am sure you will meet and have a great time with the right people
Good luck for the future
This is such a 'Help I don't know what to do area' 
' for us as newbies, just starting to arrange meets and hoping others will know what they are doing but just aiming ot have fun, whatever happens.
It's the whole swinging scene really, when do you start playing at a club, when does flirting in chat mean something more, when do you exchange face photos, what happens when you meet. All scary, but exciting stuff.
We're stepping our way through this enjoyable minefield and having a fantastic time so we'll just carry on having fun and just let things happen and try and make them happen when we feel confident.
h
' for us as newbies, just starting to arrange meets and hoping others will know what they are doing but just aiming ot have fun, whatever happens.It's the whole swinging scene really, when do you start playing at a club, when does flirting in chat mean something more, when do you exchange face photos, what happens when you meet. All scary, but exciting stuff.
We're stepping our way through this enjoyable minefield and having a fantastic time so we'll just carry on having fun and just let things happen and try and make them happen when we feel confident.
h
Quote by BiWelshMinx
We're stepping our way through this enjoyable minefield and having a fantastic time so we'll just carry on having fun and just let things happen and try and make them happen when we feel confident.
h
Lovely way to put it :thumbup:
ty, minx,
always nice to be appreciated
h :kiss:
Quote by gazbon69
Hi
thanks for all your comments, greatly received and digested.
We not given up yet, off to another meet tonight and Cupids tomorrow.
Hope to meet some of you soon at any Munch meets we can get invited to.
G & B
glad to see u2 aint giving up - that really wud b a shame
theres plenty fo reliable blokes out there - its just a shame u got one that maybe wasnt as confident as he believed he was - he is probably kicking himself right now!
have lotsa gr8 fun out there - u seem to have just the right positive attitude that the swinging world needs and this site desires so much - best of luck
Quote by gazbon69
As said previously, thanks everyone - had a great night last night, met, home :swingingchair:. Here's to part 2,3,4, etc............. what a gent, welll initially anyway lol.
G & B
Well had part deux on Sunday night, not bad going, have to cancel Wednesday tho cos other things. But here to a continued friendship etc.
