Where's my money!

26 Apr 2005

So you thought you would keep it from me did ya!. mad

....Well I've just read it and now your cover is blown. According to the bit I've just read, the average person spends in a lifetime 1.5 million. Now if there is one thing I am confident of being is average and there is no way I am on target to spend that kinda dosh, which means...........one of you fuckers has got my share and your having a bloody good time with it!....Well I want it back! so bloody own up....who had it and what have you done with it.
Mrs davej has pointed out that Â£98,000 is spent on nights out by the average bloke, she's added up two visits to Pizza shack a week and worked out that even with double Peperroni, the sums don't stack up and is now on my case wanting to know where the rest of it has been spent......Well I havn't got a clue dunno

I'm in the shit and need me dosh so I can start spending quick..........now come on give it back! :shock:

26 Apr 2005

Now come on Dave, be honest. rolleyes

I think you need to come clean & own up to what you do with that dosh. Does it really go on porn site???

26 Apr 2005

Quote by davej
So you thought you would keep it from me did ya!. ....Well I've just read it and now your cover is blown. According to the bit I've just read, the average person spends in a lifetime 1.5 million. :shock:

...what you didn't read Dave was it was 1.5 million lira..so you're well in front mate??!!
..er it was lira...wasn't it?...doh..I'm skint...again! lol

:lol: :lol:

26 Apr 2005

Quote by alspals
...what you didn't read Dave was it was 1.5 million lira..so you're well in front mate??!!
..er it was lira...wasn't it?...doh..I'm skint...again! :lol: :lol:

Nope read it right alspals, it was definately the old Â£. Now I've discounted the first 15 years on account of only buying gallons of Brut 55 for next to fuck all, the odd packet ofplayers number 10s, and several bathfulls of Clearasil. I've discounted the last 5 years that aint happened yet on the reckoning that the Readers Digest, some 'cure all' suppositories and the odd packet of Wurthers originals don't add up to a whole hill of beans.......this means that I should be a fair way through my allowance and the truth of the matter is .....I ain't. Now admittedly I've got Â£100 tucked away in the boot of my car just in case.......in case of what I don't know....but it's there just in case, yet despite adding that to the 'spent pot' I just can't make the sums work which definately means..............................................................there's a thief in the cafe! :shock:

26 Apr 2005

Dave, I've got 2 words to say to you and MrsDave
Lapdancing Clubs :happy:
Thanx :smile2:
Fashion

26 Apr 2005

Quote by fashionbadge
Dave, I've got 2 words to say to you and MrsDave
Lapdancing Clubs :happy:
Thanx :smile2:
Fashion

Don't bloody smile at me, pissin my money up the wall ....I've got kids to feed and a wife that is gonna suss one day that 'Elizabeth Duke of Bond Street' aint what she has been thinking all these years

26 Apr 2005

Rights there's definately a thief about, my shares been taken too!
Anyone want to share theirs with me?

26 Apr 2005

it's you lot that's taken all mine.. damn conversion rates. I lose more than half my money every time I have to do a transfer, tell me where that other half magically evaporates too, huh!!!

26 Apr 2005

Well if that is the case
Someone has my share as well, now own up and pay up lol

26 Apr 2005

I warned you all ...we are doomed ...doomed I tell you ...
You all know whats happened to our share really ...its become the Euro...
Mark my words Gemany and France are seeking parity of the pound with the Euro.
or am I just an old cynic?
Thats where its all gone I tell you ......or maybe we just all had ..........KIDS rolleyes

26 Apr 2005

Dont know about getting my share but im sure i am paying for someone.
Just got my first wage spil after being out of work for 6 months
and the tax man had taken most of it

26 Apr 2005

Quote by davej
...what you didn't read Dave was it was 1.5 million lira..so you're well in front mate??!!
..er it was lira...wasn't it?...doh..I'm skint...again! :lol: :lol:

Nope read it right alspals, it was definately the old Â£. Now I've discounted the first 15 years on account of only buying gallons of Brut 55 for next to fuck all, the odd packet ofplayers number 10s, and several bathfulls of Clearasil. I've discounted the last 5 years that aint happened yet on the reckoning that the Readers Digest, some 'cure all' suppositories and the odd packet of Wurthers originals don't add up to a whole hill of beans.......this means that I should be a fair way through my allowance and the truth of the matter is .....I ain't. Now admittedly I've got Â£100 tucked away in the boot of my car just in case.......in case of what I don't know....but it's there just in case, yet despite adding that to the 'spent pot' I just can't make the sums work which definately means..............................................................there's a thief in the cafe! :shock:
...make sure you do the lottery Saturday..it could be you!! :lol: :lol:

26 Apr 2005

Quote by ockysweeties
it's you lot that's taken all mine.. damn conversion rates. I lose more than half my money every time I have to do a transfer, tell me where that other half magically evaporates too, huh!!!

Yeah but don't you think our notes are much prettier than those grubby things your lot use? And you can tell ours apart.... and you get a history lesson... though no doubt you think they are quaint! So, Ocky, what's you favourite so far? And have you discovered the scottish one s yet.... don't let anyone tell you they are really legal tender, they are trying to rip you off as a gullible american!!!! LOL
heheheh

26 Apr 2005

I dunno what your talking about davej but do you know how I can change my name because I am moving house.
What do you think dunno

:giggle:

26 Apr 2005

uuummm . . . dave?
not that i'm a complete feckin' grass or owt like that you understand, but i've seen that Easy running running round the cafe all balaclavad up waving a shooter around on more than one occasion, AND he keeps hijacking planes! d'you think he might be flying every one's cash out to some off-shore tax haven or something, cos now you come to mention it, i must be down a few bob meself if you're right about this one? dunno

no wonder i'm bleedin' skint if Mr James bloody Bond's gone over to the other side is it now? mad

you didn't hear this from me though, obviously! innocent

neil x x x ;)

26 Apr 2005

Quote by neilinleeds
uuummm . . . dave?
not that i'm a complete feckin' grass or owt like that you understand, but i've seen that Easy running running round the cafe all balaclavad up waving a shooter around on more than one occasion, AND he keeps hijacking planes! d'you think he might be flying every one's cash out to some off-shore tax haven or something, cos now you come to mention it, i must be down a few bob meself if you're right about this one? no wonder i'm bleedin' skint if Mr James bloody Bond's gone over to the other side is it now?
you didn't hear this from me though, obviously!
neil x x x ;)

Easy, Neil is talking about you again :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove:

26 Apr 2005

Quote by neilinleeds
uuummm . . . dave?
not that i'm a complete feckin' grass or owt like that you understand, but i've seen that Easy running running round the cafe all balaclavad up waving a shooter around on more than one occasion, AND he keeps hijacking planes! d'you think he might be flying every one's cash out to some off-shore tax haven or something, cos now you come to mention it, i must be down a few bob meself if you're right about this one? no wonder i'm bleedin' skint if Mr James bloody Bond's gone over to the other side is it now?
you didn't hear this from me though, obviously!
neil x x x ;)

This is a good point actually .... maybe those "goldfish" aren't really fish but just ... gold?
C x

26 Apr 2005

Quote by postie
it's you lot that's taken all mine.. damn conversion rates. I lose more than half my money every time I have to do a transfer, tell me where that other half magically evaporates too, huh!!!

Yeah but don't you think our notes are much prettier than those grubby things your lot use? And you can tell ours apart.... and you get a history lesson... though no doubt you think they are quaint! So, Ocky, what's you favourite so far? And have you discovered the scottish one s yet.... don't let anyone tell you they are really legal tender, they are trying to rip you off as a gullible american!!!! LOL
heheheh
I'm collecting the Scottish ones to make a kilt for when I got back to the states... as for whose money is "prettier" ... well, lets compare:
you DO have a flair for the dramatic flourishes on yours....

26 Apr 2005

Quote by Dawn_Mids
I dunno what your talking about davej but do you know how I can change my name because I am moving house.
What do you think

:giggle:

Dawn_Chelsea by any chance? lol

What I don't understand is why Ian_mids is changing to Ian_mids_and_bloody_kids confused

:dunno: :lol:

Quote by neilinleeds
uuummm . . . dave?
not that i'm a complete feckin' grass or owt like that you understand, but i've seen that Easy running running round the cafe all balaclavad up waving a shooter around on more than one occasion, AND he keeps hijacking planes! d'you think he might be flying every one's cash out to some off-shore tax haven or something, cos now you come to mention it, i must be down a few bob meself if you're right about this one? :dunno: no wonder i'm bleedin' skint if Mr James bloody Bond's gone over to the other side is it now?
you didn't hear this from me though, obviously!
neil x x x ;)

Oh I see. Like that is it. You weren't so bloody quick to point the finger when my generosity was showering you with mobos were you.
<<<TUTTS>>> <<<FFS>>>
Mr. J. Sir. Although I did initially think this thread was about the return to your original career of demanding money with menaces (before you became the legitimate businessman you are now), I'd just like to point out that NIL hasn't been seen going off in his old strop lately. Ther reason...... He's gone and bought a brand-spanking-(apparently it's an optional extra :shock: )-new convertable strop to go along with his new, luxury, penthouse flat.
I think his pointing the finger at me is just a ploy to try and shift attention away from himself. After all you never hear about him having to buy his Y-fronts from eBay do you? :?

26 Apr 2005

I could be wrong, but didn't Lazeeboy bugger off to South America dunno

Fee
XX

26 Apr 2005

Dave I think you need to look closer to home :shock: I mean how many shopping channels does Mrs Davej subscribe to ? confused

..and have you not noticed your shirts no longer fit in the wardrobe ?

26 Apr 2005

see! see how easily he tries to shift the blame, and plant the seeds of suspicion? that's a practised liar that is and no mistake. all that bloody rubbish about buying y-fronts on e-bay, when Mr Easy knows DAMN WELL i don't wear any. mad

:x :x
*humph!*
as for you dawn . . . i'm saddened i really am. i try to be an upstanding citizen and you dob me right in the shit! sad

how exactly did you pay for that mansion then? money laundering for Easy is it? your cards mark good and proper now! i'm watching you! :x
neil x x x ;)

26 Apr 2005

Quote by neilinleeds
see! see how easily he tries to shift the blame, and plant the seeds of suspicion? that's a practised liar that is and no mistake. all that bloody rubbish about buying y-fronts on e-bay, when Mr Easy knows DAMN WELL i don't wear any. :x :x
*humph!*
as for you dawn . . . i'm saddened i really am. i try to be an upstanding citizen and you dob me right in the shit! how exactly did you pay for that mansion then? money laundering for Easy is it? your cards mark good and proper now! i'm watching you! :x
neil x x x ;)

cheers neil that was our little secret rolleyes

:roll: now I've got to really convince him that my weekend to spain is still only a hen night :roll: :roll: :roll:
errrrrrrrrrrrrr but the above remarks do make me think"why does he want me to take a large bundle, already packed, with me and take to the bank on his instructions?" :shock: :shock:

26 Apr 2005

Quote by ockysweeties
it's you lot that's taken all mine.. damn conversion rates. I lose more than half my money every time I have to do a transfer, tell me where that other half magically evaporates too, huh!!!

I tried to explain to an American that we pay around $8 a gallon for our "gas". There's no way they believed me! dunno

26 Apr 2005

Quote by cu3b4ll
it's you lot that's taken all mine.. damn conversion rates. I lose more than half my money every time I have to do a transfer, tell me where that other half magically evaporates too, huh!!!

I tried to explain to an American that we pay around $8 a gallon for our "gas". There's no way they believed me! dunno

:confused2: :confused2: gas??? I know not of gas... only petrol!!
sigh. yes, I don't drive here but when I go home I have a car which I won't be able to drive because I'm out of organs to sell on the black market for "gas" money.

26 Apr 2005

Clearly there's more than one thief in here and clearly I'm not the only victim. I thought the last munch I went to was a bit suss, all those bloody hugs and "nice to see ya's" all the time you were filching through my pockets.........robbin me family, why only the other day one of the davej sprogs came home from shopping with two pair of jeans with holes in and paint splashed all over them.......can't even afford new ones :cry: ......I watched mrs davej getting ready for a girls night out last week and the poor sod got ready without putting on any underwear, couldn't afford it she says dunno

were down to one car each and a grotty kebab once a fortnight if were lucky whilst you rich gits go out and blow my wonga

26 Apr 2005

If it aint us that is doing it, then who the hell is? Must be an awful lot of very wealthy people out there in Banking land.
John
smile

26 Apr 2005

Quote by Countess
see! see how easily he tries to shift the blame, and plant the seeds of suspicion? that's a practised liar that is and no mistake. all that bloody rubbish about buying y-fronts on e-bay, when Mr Easy knows DAMN WELL i don't wear any. :x :x
*humph!*
as for you dawn . . . i'm saddened i really am. i try to be an upstanding citizen and you dob me right in the shit! how exactly did you pay for that mansion then? money laundering for Easy is it? your cards mark good and proper now! i'm watching you! :x
neil x x x ;)

cheers neil that was our little secret rolleyes

:roll: now I've got to really convince him that my weekend to spain is still only a hen night :roll: :roll: :roll:
errrrrrrrrrrrrr but the above remarks do make me think"why does he want me to take a large bundle, already packed, with me and take to the bank on his instructions?" :shock: :shock:
*easy goes off to give his mate in customs a call and set an ad up as Countess may be gone some time.*
<evil laugh> MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA </evil laugh> :twisted:

26 Apr 2005

found it

:lol: :lol:

fully printable as well :lol:

26 Apr 2005

Quote by Dawn_Mids
I dunno what your talking about davej but do you know how I can change my name because I am moving house.
What do you think

:giggle:

I reckon your nuts have you any idea how much time it's gonna take you to clean them windows :shock: and bollocks to taking down the net curtains for a wash ...bloody nightmare.