hi all this is jude the question is why do people worry about what other's think.........
personally i dont care what others think it is my life and i do what i want with it and if they dont like it walk away is what i say ......
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who cares what they think!
Orgasminator
Quote by fun4u2c
hi all this is jude the question is why do people worry about what other's think.........
personally i dont care what others think it is my life and i do what i want with it and if they dont like it walk away is what i say ......
In an ideal world, maybe you are right. But for me discretion is important with some things, otherwise, some of my family and friends would worry, or be upset with the way I may choose to live my life. By this I mean swinging etc. They may have different views, or beliefs, and because I care about them, I would not intentionally do anything to upset them.
Everyone is different, and I thank whatever god there is for that
common sence must prevail everyone has dif views on life butfamily values do matter more
In an ideal world, maybe you are right. But for me discretion is important with some things, otherwise, some of my family and friends would worry, or be upset with the way I may choose to live my life. By this I mean swinging etc. They may have different views, or beliefs, and because I care about them, I would not intentionally do anything to upset them.
Everyone is different, and I thank whatever god there is for that
Quote by Devon1
hi all this is jude the question is why do people worry about what other's think.........
personally i dont care what others think it is my life and i do what i want with it and if they dont like it walk away is what i say ......
In an ideal world, maybe you are right. But for me discretion is important with some things, otherwise, some of my family and friends would worry, or be upset with the way I may choose to live my life. By this I mean swinging etc. They may have different views, or beliefs, and because I care about them, I would not intentionally do anything to upset them.
Everyone is different, and I thank whatever god there is for that
I think it is absolutely pathetic that gay people feel compelled to let everyone know about their sexuality - you don't hear of heterosexual people shouting "Hey! Look at me - I'm straight!" - so why should gay people do it. This also applies to swingers. I see no reason to tell everyone that I am a swinger - it's nothing to be ashamed of but it also no-one's business but mine.
Quote by fun4u2c
i dont care what others think it is my life and i do what i want with it and if they dont like it walk away...
Quote by fun4u2c
common sence must prevail everyone has dif views on life butfamily values do matter more..
In one breath your basically saying I don't care what others think.. like it or fuck off, and then in the next breath your saying.. well, maybe i do care what others think in my family.. If I've quoted you out of context or get the wrong gist of it, I apologise.
Personally, I live my life the way I choose.. But, I do care what others think about me, otherwise I'd be telling every member of my family and every friend I have that I swing and if they don't like it, tough. I know that certain good friends and family members would take great offence in some of the things I do :twisted: , and because I don't want to see that or risk loosing my friends, most of them do not know..
Sex God
Trust no-one - tell people nothing and they'e got nothing on to you get you back with later 
8-) 8-) 8-) 8-)
OK, that's a sweeping generalisation, but some people do use personal info in the wrong way, and I always bear that in mind. I only tell vanilla people I trust about my swinging life, it saves a lot of hassle!
No, I'm not ashamed, and as others have said, my business is nothing to do with anyone else and as long as I'm happy doing what I do, it is no concern of anyone else. Once I trust one of my vanilla friends (and I have several good vanilla friends, and some colleagues who know I'm a swinger - one has even looked at this forum :shock: ) I am happy to answer any questions they have, however personal. I have never told my parents, but if they found out I would not be ashamed to answer anything they wanted to know.
Yes, in some ways it is like the secrets people such as TVs and gay people keep from those they know will not understand. It is a self-protection thing, that's all. If people want to shout their sexuality from the roof-tops, fine by me.... if they are proud of it they should say so, but if disclosure will affect their home or work life, they have every right to keep quiet in order to simply get on with their life.
I sometimes think of how will I react if my children disclose something personal about their sexuality in years to come.....
I imagine the conversation will go something like this......
Child: I have something to tell you.... I am a gay
Me: Oh, OK. Nice one.
Child: I am also a cross dresser.
Me: Oh OK. That lipstick is all wrong for your skin tone, and no, you cannot borrow my PVC dress.
Child: I'm also a swinger.
Me: I know this really good website........ maybe you've seen it......
:rotflmao: :rotflmao:
8-) 8-) 8-) 8-) OK, that's a sweeping generalisation, but some people do use personal info in the wrong way, and I always bear that in mind. I only tell vanilla people I trust about my swinging life, it saves a lot of hassle!
No, I'm not ashamed, and as others have said, my business is nothing to do with anyone else and as long as I'm happy doing what I do, it is no concern of anyone else. Once I trust one of my vanilla friends (and I have several good vanilla friends, and some colleagues who know I'm a swinger - one has even looked at this forum :shock: ) I am happy to answer any questions they have, however personal. I have never told my parents, but if they found out I would not be ashamed to answer anything they wanted to know.
Yes, in some ways it is like the secrets people such as TVs and gay people keep from those they know will not understand. It is a self-protection thing, that's all. If people want to shout their sexuality from the roof-tops, fine by me.... if they are proud of it they should say so, but if disclosure will affect their home or work life, they have every right to keep quiet in order to simply get on with their life.
I sometimes think of how will I react if my children disclose something personal about their sexuality in years to come.....
I imagine the conversation will go something like this......
Child: I have something to tell you.... I am a gay
Me: Oh, OK. Nice one.
Child: I am also a cross dresser.
Me: Oh OK. That lipstick is all wrong for your skin tone, and no, you cannot borrow my PVC dress.
Child: I'm also a swinger.
Me: I know this really good website........ maybe you've seen it......
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: my mother knows what im like so do my freinds the only people i keep it from is my kids cause they are young but when they are older i will tell them theres nothing worse than skeltons in the closet to be truthfully to people is better than lieing or hearing it from someone else when its a bit like chinese whispers when bits get added on .......i can take constructive critisim which is all good i can lisen to other peoples opinons cause they have something to say...but in the end i chose to live my life by my standers and not how other people want me to lead it hey you only have one life.........
In one breath your basically saying I don't care what others think.. like it or fuck off, and then in the next breath your saying.. well, maybe i do care what others think in my family.. If I've quoted you out of context or get the wrong gist of it, I apologise.
Personally, I live my life the way I choose.. But, I do care what others think about me, otherwise I'd be telling every member of my family and every friend I have that I swing and if they don't like it, tough. I know that certain good friends and family members would take great offence in some of the things I do :twisted: , and because I don't want to see that or risk loosing my friends, most of them do not know..
Quote by wolvie_dude
i dont care what others think it is my life and i do what i want with it and if they dont like it walk away...
Quote by fun4u2c
common sence must prevail everyone has dif views on life butfamily values do matter more..
In one breath your basically saying I don't care what others think.. like it or fuck off, and then in the next breath your saying.. well, maybe i do care what others think in my family.. If I've quoted you out of context or get the wrong gist of it, I apologise.
Personally, I live my life the way I choose.. But, I do care what others think about me, otherwise I'd be telling every member of my family and every friend I have that I swing and if they don't like it, tough. I know that certain good friends and family members would take great offence in some of the things I do :twisted: , and because I don't want to see that or risk loosing my friends, most of them do not know..
Quote by Wishmaster
I think it is absolutely pathetic that gay people feel compelled to let everyone know about their sexuality - you don't hear of heterosexual people shouting "Hey! Look at me - I'm straight!" - so why should gay people do it. This also applies to swingers. I see no reason to tell everyone that I am a swinger - it's nothing to be ashamed of but it also no-one's business but mine.
I think you have that the wrong way around wishmaster...
Some members of the gay community are overt in their sexuality, but it is quite rare. Most just get on with their lives, quietly, knowing that in this society homosexuality is tolerated but not always accepted.
There are still many people who are gay who daren't admit to friends, family, work collegues etc that they are gay.
On the other hand... if you look at heterosexual society, it is very common to see sexuality on show. Look at any newspaper rack and you'll see pics of women on the front page. Walk down any high street and you'll see men and women holding hands in an overt show of heterosexuality.... when is the last time you saw a same sex couple able to do that in public? Outside of certain "gay areas"?
As someone i once knew who is in a same sex relationship said: "How would you like it if you were out with the person you loved and adored and wasn't able to show any affection, hold hands or kiss in public in case it got you attacked by homophobic idiots."
Anyhows... I agree with you too. What you do with your private life is no one else's business..... if anyone asked me about my lifestyle, my first reaction would be to ask them "what has it got to do with you?" .
me and rach have been interested in swinging for a while and although we are by no means ashamed of it, we do like to keep it a bit private. I think society in general frowns on the pursuit of swinging, while secretly wishing they could partake in it.
At the end of the day it is hard to be completely monogomous these days, there are so many extra-marital affairs that end in a messy divorce, and couples falling out over a completely natural phenomena: actually being sexually attracted to people other than your partner :shock:
we see swinging as a way that we can enjoy the sexual liberation most people yearn for, whilst maintaining a great relationship and complete trust within it. by swinging together we feel we are getting what we need and want without having to sneak around behind each others backs.
now if brad pitt and angelina jolie joined the site, that MIGHT be a different matter :twisted:
At the end of the day it is hard to be completely monogomous these days, there are so many extra-marital affairs that end in a messy divorce, and couples falling out over a completely natural phenomena: actually being sexually attracted to people other than your partner :shock:
we see swinging as a way that we can enjoy the sexual liberation most people yearn for, whilst maintaining a great relationship and complete trust within it. by swinging together we feel we are getting what we need and want without having to sneak around behind each others backs.
now if brad pitt and angelina jolie joined the site, that MIGHT be a different matter :twisted:
It really would be nice if everyone was so tolerant of others..
eg, I had been swinging for a couple of years, and had been toying with the idea of telling a very good friend. I had always thought he was an open minded person, tolerant and wouldn't judge me on what I enjoyed doing. At the same time I'm thinking of telling him, he calls to say another of his friends was on the phone the other day, telling him that he was a swinger, and I then had to listen to my friend slag this guy off, about how disgusting it was etc. Now it would be easy for people out there to say.. bah, who needs friends with attitudes like that? But this was (and still is) a very close friend who has been there when I've needed him and vice versa..
While being gay has very much become a part of society, in that I am meaning, people may not agree with it but they are tolerant of it, swinging seems to have kept a seedy, unwholesome image (thanks to the spin of the major tabloids) that makes people less tolerant. I think in the current social climate of this country, it is a lot easier to tell people you are gay than a swinger.
Make no mistake, I have no problems with the lifestyle I choose. I have no feelings of guilt or shame about it, but it makes for an easier life if i don't tell people.
eg, I had been swinging for a couple of years, and had been toying with the idea of telling a very good friend. I had always thought he was an open minded person, tolerant and wouldn't judge me on what I enjoyed doing. At the same time I'm thinking of telling him, he calls to say another of his friends was on the phone the other day, telling him that he was a swinger, and I then had to listen to my friend slag this guy off, about how disgusting it was etc. Now it would be easy for people out there to say.. bah, who needs friends with attitudes like that? But this was (and still is) a very close friend who has been there when I've needed him and vice versa..
While being gay has very much become a part of society, in that I am meaning, people may not agree with it but they are tolerant of it, swinging seems to have kept a seedy, unwholesome image (thanks to the spin of the major tabloids) that makes people less tolerant. I think in the current social climate of this country, it is a lot easier to tell people you are gay than a swinger.
Make no mistake, I have no problems with the lifestyle I choose. I have no feelings of guilt or shame about it, but it makes for an easier life if i don't tell people.
Quote by postie
I think it is absolutely pathetic that gay people feel compelled to let everyone know about their sexuality - you don't hear of heterosexual people shouting "Hey! Look at me - I'm straight!" - so why should gay people do it. This also applies to swingers. I see no reason to tell everyone that I am a swinger - it's nothing to be ashamed of but it also no-one's business but mine.
I think you have that the wrong way around wishmaster...
Some members of the gay community are overt in their sexuality, but it is quite rare. Most just get on with their lives, quietly, knowing that in this society homosexuality is tolerated but not always accepted.
There are still many people who are gay who daren't admit to friends, family, work collegues etc that they are gay.
On the other hand... if you look at heterosexual society, it is very common to see sexuality on show. Look at any newspaper rack and you'll see pics of women on the front page. Walk down any high street and you'll see men and women holding hands in an overt show of heterosexuality.... when is the last time you saw a same sex couple able to do that in public? Outside of certain "gay areas"?
As someone i once knew who is in a same sex relationship said: "How would you like it if you were out with the person you loved and adored and wasn't able to show any affection, hold hands or kiss in public in case it got you attacked by homophobic idiots."
Anyhows... I agree with you too. What you do with your private life is no one else's business..... if anyone asked me about my lifestyle, my first reaction would be to ask them "what has it got to do with you?" .
That's a fair comment Postie ......... I was referring to pop stars and actors who feel that the whole world needs to know that they are gay ... plus various groups that delight in 'outing' people. ...... I should have made that clearer.
I don't have a problem with gay or bi people as you know. I do have a problem with those that wish to shove it down my throat ... hehehe (pun intended)
Quote by fun4u2c
hi all this is jude the question is why do people worry about what other's think.........
personally i dont care what others think it is my life and i do what i want with it and if they dont like it walk away is what i say ......
Good idea.
Won't work.
As many gay people already know, it would have been better if they had *never* "come out".
For instance, in an industrial environment...go to the urinal for a pee, and your "workmates" walk out, with loads of crude comments.
Cut yourself and the first aider won't touch you..."not gettin' aids by touching that queer"
Many swingers find virtually the same problems....except it's "keep away from my wife you pervert"
The kids of people with non-standard sex lives are not destined to have a happy time if it becomes common knowledge.
Don't forget, it's sad country we live in now...and its not getting much better.
In theory we possess personal and sexual freedom, in reality both are under threat from both individual and government....narrow-minded people in society and public services would happily deprive us of any freedoms.
I like bluexxx's attitude. Except that the child is likely to resent you not being bothered.
sad !
in an ideal world, whatever that is......it'd all be gravy.......but the reality of it is....is that intolerance for other peoples likes and dislikes and what they represent, is as strong as ever,.....so guess some things never change.......but change is inevitable.......and views of people can change too.......whatever you do in life, must be through your own convictions and be ready for the tirade of insults or or frowns they will bestow upon you, only you know what is right for you....whether it is the gender you scribe to, your sexuality, and the need to swing...........we like most, do this to fill an extra thrill to the passion and sexual pleasure we already posses, an enhancement if you will. if you feel others can tolerate what you do and feel they can handle the truth then cool.........but it is rarely the case....and therefore we must all tread carefully........
in my case i swing when and if it suits.... my hubby and i are happy as we are
however where i live there are certain people going through the lets be a lezzer mode after already haveing 3 kids with 2 differant men!
i do not and will not undeerstand that type of mentallity wheres as to put your children through that.... get a life! get some morals and move on !!!!
i believe that compulsive castration for people who dont give a damn for the children they are concieveing should be mandatory and put into action by the government by order!!!!
rant over but iove hd a few vodkas and they piss me off big time"! if i had the money i would have had ten kids but you have to think of who pays for themn? who looks after them?
rant ovr love pepps xx
however where i live there are certain people going through the lets be a lezzer mode after already haveing 3 kids with 2 differant men!
i do not and will not undeerstand that type of mentallity wheres as to put your children through that.... get a life! get some morals and move on !!!!
i believe that compulsive castration for people who dont give a damn for the children they are concieveing should be mandatory and put into action by the government by order!!!!
rant over but iove hd a few vodkas and they piss me off big time"! if i had the money i would have had ten kids but you have to think of who pays for themn? who looks after them?
rant ovr love pepps xx
Quote by Happy Cats
its my life and i`ll do wot i want to do, when i want to do it.
and f*** what anyone else thinks.
you can`t please everybody anyway, so wot ever we do in life is sure to not meet everyones approval.
sierra x x
I think its only people that suffer from tourettes that can do that
:fuckinghell: :fuckinghell: :fuckinghell: :fuckinghell: :fuckinghell: :fuckinghell: :fuckinghell: OOPS I THINK I GOT A PROBLEM weres me ritalin.
sierra x x
Sex God
In answer to the title........I do.
I most definately care what people think and reckon that most folk care as well, to varying degrees and levels, thats why for the most part, we all tick along quite nicely. It's the caring what people think,. that helps keep everything on an even keel.
During a previous chapter of my life, I met people who truely didn't care what others thought about them, they had the attitude of 'fuck em, I'm having this' or 'fuck em I'm doing this' and they meant it, the attitudes and words wern't hollow they were lifestyles and without exception everyone one of em were nasty, sullen, uncaring bastards, showing not a jot of consideration to others in persuit of doing what they wanted.
I thank fuck that the majority of folk in general do care what others think about them and their behaviours, cos living with people who don't care what others think and therefore don't moderate their behaviours and actions is a bloody nightmare.
I most definately care what people think and reckon that most folk care as well, to varying degrees and levels, thats why for the most part, we all tick along quite nicely. It's the caring what people think,. that helps keep everything on an even keel.
During a previous chapter of my life, I met people who truely didn't care what others thought about them, they had the attitude of 'fuck em, I'm having this' or 'fuck em I'm doing this' and they meant it, the attitudes and words wern't hollow they were lifestyles and without exception everyone one of em were nasty, sullen, uncaring bastards, showing not a jot of consideration to others in persuit of doing what they wanted.
I thank fuck that the majority of folk in general do care what others think about them and their behaviours, cos living with people who don't care what others think and therefore don't moderate their behaviours and actions is a bloody nightmare.
Quote by fun4u2c
hi all this is jude the question is why do people worry about what other's think.........
personally i dont care what others think it is my life and i do what i want with it and if they dont like it walk away is what i say ......
we dont give a dam on what others think and while they are talking about us there leaving others alone
everyone has there own mind let them think what they like
Sex God
Quote by davej
In answer to the title........I do.
I most definately care what people think and reckon that most folk care as well, to varying degrees and levels, thats why for the most part, we all tick along quite nicely. It's the caring what people think,. that helps keep everything on an even keel.
During a previous chapter of my life, I met people who truely didn't care what others thought about them, they had the attitude of 'fuck em, I'm having this' or 'fuck em I'm doing this' and they meant it, the attitudes and words wern't hollow they were lifestyles and without exception everyone one of em were nasty, sullen, uncaring bastards, showing not a jot of consideration to others in persuit of doing what they wanted.
I thank fuck that the majority of folk in general do care what others think about them and their behaviours, cos living with people who don't care what others think and therefore don't moderate their behaviours and actions is a bloody nightmare.
OI!!!!! whoever you are, put Davej back on this instant. That's far too serious a post for Davej for a Sunday night :shock:
Sex God
Quote by freckledbird
OI!!!!! whoever you are, put Davej back on this instant. That's far too serious a post for Davej for a Sunday night :shock:
Too bloody right Bev, I'm gonna have to change my password to stop mrs davej posting under my name and referring to me as a sullen uncaring bastard in the future.
To be honest about it, most people will either like, or dislike, someone BECAUSE of what they do in their life.
If they know you're a swinger/gay/tv/dogger, then that will be added to their list of your traits and you will be judged on that.
Separating your sex life from your other social life is not really an option.
If they know you're a swinger/gay/tv/dogger, then that will be added to their list of your traits and you will be judged on that.
Separating your sex life from your other social life is not really an option.
Quote by fun4u2cHow much we (Kit and I) care about what people think of us, depends on how much wI care about them, and so does the answer to the question.
hi all this is jude the question is why do people worry about what other's think.........
personally i dont care what others think it is my life and i do what i want with it and if they dont like it walk away is what i say ......
There are people in our life that give us a huge amount of love and support as friends. Some of them we know would struggle to understand our swinging. Would we tell them "If you don't like ou swinging, get out of our life" - Fuck no, that would be cutting off my nose to spite my face. They have given us support over many years, and do not deserve to be treated in that way.
Swinging is only one small facet of Kit and I. It is not important enough to define us as people, and never will be.
lhk
Kat
Quote by JTS
To be honest about it, most people will either like, or dislike, someone BECAUSE of what they do in their life.
If they know you're a swinger/gay/tv/dogger, then that will be added to their list of your traits and you will be judged on that.
Separating your sex life from your other social life is not really an option.
Have to disagree here. I am much more than a person who goes swinging. I think people judge me by my personality. I am highly repected in my place of work. My colleagues know I swing but I think that they are more concerned about my work rate than my sex life
