Who is trying to sell me for 25 quid?

23 Jan 2005

Just as we were leaving the house today on our way out to our favourite local pub/restaurant for lunch Sappho noticed a leaflet in the door. Just as she was starting her usual rant about unsolicited mail etc., etc. she started howling with laughter! dunno

I asked her what was so amusing. Too helpless with laughter to answer she just handed me the leaflet and collapsed, clutching her increasingly bulging abdomen.
The leaflet said the following (the capitals and underlines are as they came from the leaflet and are not editorial, the emoticons are mine)â€¦â€¦.
WILL AWARENESS
:shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:
MADE YOUR WILL YET? :shock: :shock:
Your Will in the Privacy and Comfort of Your Own Home. :twisted: :shock:
* +VAT
WTF!!! :shock: :shock: Who the hell is trying to sell me for twenty-five quid a time (PLUS VAT, I note) into the privacy and comfort of peopleâ€™s own homes? :shock:
It also mentioned
â€¦Will Storageâ€¦.
I hope thatâ€™s in the boarding house of the local Girlsâ€™ School :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
YES, YOU CAN DO SOMETHING!!!
With the Right Will for you
:shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:
Sooooooo! Who wants Will in the â€œPrivacy and Comfort of Your Own Homesâ€? :twisted: :twisted:
Come along now, donâ€™t be shy :twisted:
Sappho thinks she is already very well aware of her Will!
I object (sort of) to people selling my body without me knowing about it. So, if you want a Will in the privacy and comfort of your own home, send me a PM.
Will
PS There will NOT be a charge!

23 Jan 2005

Did Sappho mention the bit about Will Enforcement? wink

lhk
Kat

23 Jan 2005

You didn't say to where I should send the cheque? wink

23 Jan 2005

Ooohhhh can we buy Will???.... :bounce: :bounce: :bounce:
Â£25 well spent I say wink

Shireen
xxx

23 Jan 2005

I take it it's sale and return :shock: :shock:
Only joking you're cheap at twice the price passionkiss

Jas
XXX

23 Jan 2005

Quote by shireen-steve
Ooohhhh can we buy Will???.... :bounce: :bounce: :bounce:
Â£25 well spent I say
Shireen
xxx

Shireen sweetie, no need to spend your well earned cash - just utter a few words in the guise of Jonathan Meades (in stockings) and Will will be begging you for more :twisted: lol

Sorry Will :twisted:

23 Jan 2005

Ooohhh Kit is that all it takes???.... :twisted: :twisted: wink

Wonders what she should say to Will now
Shireen
xx

23 Jan 2005

Quote by shireen-steve
Ooohhh Kit is that all it takes???.... :twisted: :twisted:
Wonders what she should say to Will now
Shireen
xx

My advice is wear the stockings - and keep your mouth shut (have you ever seen Jonathan Meades???? :shock: )
Start with 'Master' and it might work - depends if Sappho has been talking to him today wink

23 Jan 2005

Quote by Kit
My advice is wear the stockings - and keep your mouth shut (have you ever seen Jonathan Meades???? :shock: )

Erm..... no redface

Start with 'Master' and it might work - depends if Sappho has been talking to him today

Aha....
Changes into stockings, clears throat and says sexily "Oh Master"...
Shireen
xxx

23 Jan 2005

will,
i am flabberghasted, nay outraged, at the sheer audacity you've shown coming on here and pissing and moaning that you are apparently worth 25 quid! mad

what did i get? 6 bloody goldfish that's what! and i didn't even get to spend 'em cos they went to the vendor, not me! mad

i dunno, some people! rolleyes

neil x x x :P

23 Jan 2005

I hope Dave Notts doesn't hear about this. He'll be so jealous. twenty-five quid for a Will is sheer extravagance compared to the value put on Dave. :silly:
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/32853.html

23 Jan 2005

Are you rleated to Last and Testament?
As in Last Will and Testament....
sorry... someone had to say it!

26 Jan 2005

Sorry for the delayed reply to you all. Shortly after starting this thread I was kicked off the PC by Sappho Junior and i have ben 'out and about' since.
bluexxx - no need to send a cheque, a PM will do wink

:twisted:
Shireen - I am touched, I didn't know you cared! Perhaps I can come and be your slave for a day (I can cook, clean and iron and have been known to perform in the bedroom too! I have testimonials from all departments!!)
Kit - WTF!!!!!!! :shock: :shock: :shock: Have I EVER mentioned Jonathan Meades (perhaps in a more drunken moment)? Or was that just a lucky guess? As it happens, he is indeed one of my heroes. The man's vocabulary is simply awesome. worship

Sadly folks, Kit is absolutely right. Wear stockings and talk like Jonathan Meades and I am yours for absolutely nothing! Errrrm, it helps if you're female redface

The part I objected to most is the phrase "standard Will". I maintain that I am NOT a standard Will. I am the top of the range super-duper de luxe model Will, and willing to prove it too! Now then, don't all rush at once (as if! rolleyes

)
Will

26 Jan 2005

Quote by willxx69
Kit - WTF!!!!!!! :shock: :shock: :shock: Have I EVER mentioned Jonathan Meades (perhaps in a more drunken moment)? Or was that just a lucky guess? As it happens, he is indeed one of my heroes. The man's vocabulary is simply awesome.

You have never mentioned JM to me confused

and I'll have you know I don't do 'lucky' guesses - they are 'educated' guesses lol

Quote by Willxx69
Kit is absolutely right.

As always :twisted: lol

Good to see you back BTW kiss

27 Jan 2005

Quote by Kit

Kit is absolutely right.

As always :twisted: lol

Would I ever doubt it? Actually, I think I might have implied a smidgeon of a doubt once. The bruising has nearly healed :shock: surprised

uch:
Will

27 Jan 2005

Quote by willxx69
Shireen - I am touched, I didn't know you cared! Perhaps I can come and be your slave for a day (I can cook, clean and iron and have been known to perform in the bedroom too! I have testimonials from all departments!!l

Ooohhh you fibber Will smackbottom

You know I think you are a yummy man kiss

As for being my slave??...... Mmmmmm bring it on wink

:twisted: :twisted:
Shireen
xxx

27 Jan 2005

Quote by shireen-steve
Shireen - I am touched, I didn't know you cared! Perhaps I can come and be your slave for a day (I can cook, clean and iron and have been known to perform in the bedroom too! I have testimonials from all departments!!l

Ooohhh you fibber Will smackbottom

You know I think you are a yummy man kiss

As for being my slave??...... Mmmmmm bring it on wink

:twisted: :twisted:
Shireen
xxx
Umm Will, is that offer only open to Shireen or can any of us apply for you to be our slave? Off to write an application just in case :twisted: bolt

27 Jan 2005

Oooooh AC. No need to write the application - you're already accepted. I'll do whatever you want! worship

Shireen - when can I start? how about some naked ironing for starters? Just be careful with the steam! :shock:
Will
....and I only posted this because I thought the 'Will' thing was funny redface

Now I am being sold into slavery! (hopefully! :twisted smile

27 Jan 2005

I had my Will today. Brand new Will that hasn't been used yet. Unfortunately I didn't read the small print which was attached to my Will. Aparently I can not use the Will for my own personal gain but I must use my Wiill to help others, preferably family or friends.
Now I'm not selfish but when I purchased that Will I wanted to keep everything that came with it.
When you purchase your Will you will end up giving everything you own to somebody else and you don't get to have the fun with the Will either. Well not unless you count being inside a box for a long time and a lot of people get very hot once inside this box.
Signed,
One bermused and confused Will owner.

27 Jan 2005

Quote by willxx69
Oooooh AC. No need to write the application - you're already accepted. I'll do whatever you want!

OK, here's the list.
1) Bring wine - lots of it, you know - the pink stuff ;)
2) Hall stairs and landing needs wallpapering, I'll buy the materials
3) Bathroom needs tiling, I'll buy those materials too
4) General hoovering and tidying around the house. Start at the top and work your way down. This is a good tip for later on as well :twisted:
5) Approximately 3 mountains of washing to do, plus 1 mountain of ironing to keep you busy while the other stuff washes and then dries.
6) Keep my glass topped up at all times
7) Don't forget to say please when you ask me to lift my feet so that you can hoover underneath them
8) Sod the housework, lets take the wine upstairs and don't forget the tip in point 4 :twisted: :twisted:

27 Jan 2005

Tiling is ok. Not so good at wallpapering. Everything else is no problem.
Will
PS It's sometimes fun to start from the bottom and work up - for a change! :twisted:

27 Jan 2005

Quote by willxx69
Tiling is ok. Not so good at wallpapering. Everything else is no problem.
Will
PS It's sometimes fun to start from the bottom and work up - for a ghance! :twisted:

Woohoo!! :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: I got Will so steamed up that he actually made a major typo!! I haven't lost my touch after all biggrin

:bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce:

27 Jan 2005

lol sorry will :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:

28 Jan 2005

Guilty as charged! redface

So, when (and what) is my punishment? :twisted:
Will

28 Jan 2005

always wondered where the phrase 'where there`s a will there`s a way' came from
it was obviously from angel rubbing her hands in glee!
a bargin at 25 quid me thinks lol