Who pays?

22 Dec 2008

Quote by kentswingers777
Is there anything there that anyone wants to pick the bones from in that? :shock:

As a single male...

Do you validate parking?
Do you refund fuel costs?
Do you supply complimentary mints on the pillow?
You know what Peanut, I am def warming to you....Wicked reply. lol

I did think that free condoms maybe overstepping the mark though dunno

22 Dec 2008

I would split the cost of a hotel room or meal or whatever was agreed on. If there was any confusion or hesitance i would just pay.
If i were going to someones home then i would expect to take wine, flowers or pay for takeaway if wanted redface

22 Dec 2008

Quote by kentswingers777
Chill out ffs. I was joking. As for the pimp comment m8, you are bang out of order!!

Having sexual relations and getting another man to pay, now how would that sound to me? I don't think the pimping comment as that far off the mark really.
As for joking, it was hard to see where you are joking........except now when you have stated it. If you had stated it in the post then people would have known. But they had to take you on your written word and it didn't seem like a joke to the person who commented or to me. I really did think this was your opinion on this. I am glad you have cleared it up.
Dave_Notts

22 Dec 2008

Quote by Dave__Notts
Chill out ffs. I was joking. As for the pimp comment m8, you are bang out of order!!

Having sexual relations and getting another man to pay, now how would that sound to me? I don't think the pimping comment as that far off the mark really.As for joking, it was hard to see where you are joking........except now when you have stated it. If you had stated it in the post then people would have known. But they had to take you on your written word and it didn't seem like a joke to the person who commented or to me. I really did think this was your opinion on this. I am glad you have cleared it up.
Dave_Notts
That is YOUR opinion, a bit like my opinion is there are a lot of dick heads on here! My opinion too!
Still I know who they are, and as it is nearly Christmas will leave it at that. wink

22 Dec 2008

Quote by kentswingers777
Chill out ffs. I was joking. As for the pimp comment m8, you are bang out of order!!

Having sexual relations and getting another man to pay, now how would that sound to me? I don't think the pimping comment as that far off the mark really.As for joking, it was hard to see where you are joking........except now when you have stated it. If you had stated it in the post then people would have known. But they had to take you on your written word and it didn't seem like a joke to the person who commented or to me. I really did think this was your opinion on this. I am glad you have cleared it up.
Dave_Notts
That is YOUR opinion, a bit like my opinion is there are a lot of dick heads on here! My opinion too!
Still I know who they are, and as it is nearly Christmas will leave it at that. wink

But apart from the highlighted bit you didn't like, there was other areas what you could have commented on.......like when people would have thought you were joking except when you stated it.......or would you rather not answer that bit?
But you prefer to call me, and others, a dickhead and hide it behind a statement of "my opinion". That doesn't wash with me.
Happy Christmas
Dave_Notts

22 Dec 2008

Quote by Dave__Notts
Chill out ffs. I was joking. As for the pimp comment m8, you are bang out of order!!

Having sexual relations and getting another man to pay, now how would that sound to me? I don't think the pimping comment as that far off the mark really.As for joking, it was hard to see where you are joking........except now when you have stated it. If you had stated it in the post then people would have known. But they had to take you on your written word and it didn't seem like a joke to the person who commented or to me. I really did think this was your opinion on this. I am glad you have cleared it up.
Dave_Notts
That is YOUR opinion, a bit like my opinion is there are a lot of dick heads on here! My opinion too!
Still I know who they are, and as it is nearly Christmas will leave it at that. wink

But apart from the highlighted bit you didn't like, there was other areas what you could have commented on.......like when people would have thought you were joking except when you stated it.......or would you rather not answer that bit?
But you prefer to call me, and others, a dickhead and hide it behind a statement of "my opinion". That doesn't wash with me.
Happy Christmas
Dave_Notts
Oh well.... I am sure it will not affect your life too much.
Happy Christmas to you too Dave.....keep doing the quiz too.

22 Dec 2008

Quote by kentswingers777
Chill out ffs. I was joking. As for the pimp comment m8, you are bang out of order!!

Having sexual relations and getting another man to pay, now how would that sound to me? I don't think the pimping comment as that far off the mark really.As for joking, it was hard to see where you are joking........except now when you have stated it. If you had stated it in the post then people would have known. But they had to take you on your written word and it didn't seem like a joke to the person who commented or to me. I really did think this was your opinion on this. I am glad you have cleared it up.
Dave_Notts
That is YOUR opinion, a bit like my opinion is there are a lot of dick heads on here! My opinion too!
Still I know who they are, and as it is nearly Christmas will leave it at that. wink

But apart from the highlighted bit you didn't like, there was other areas what you could have commented on.......like when people would have thought you were joking except when you stated it.......or would you rather not answer that bit?
But you prefer to call me, and others, a dickhead and hide it behind a statement of "my opinion". That doesn't wash with me.
Happy Christmas
Dave_Notts
Oh well.... I am sure it will not affect your life too much.
Happy Christmas to you too Dave.....keep doing the quiz too.
I can't, it won't let me access the site dunno

Dave_Notts

22 Dec 2008

Quote by kentswingers777

You say , as a couple, you hold the cards, and yes, to a certain degree, that is true, but you are almost coming across as a pimp.

Chill out ffs. I was joking. As for the pimp comment m8, you are bang out of order!!
Just wanted to point out, before it gets ridiculous, the actual wording of essex's post. wink

22 Dec 2008

oh this post has made me think.
the whole paying thing really varies.
i have different types of meets.
ok im a single female that meets single guys, 2 guys, couples etc.
right single guys... i make it clear i do not accommodate and they must be able to, they must also be localish.
Now if for whatever reason they cant accommodate, several reasons come to mind, they live at home still, they are playing with out the mrs, they live so far im not prepared to drive that far.
Then well if they still want to meet they will have to get a room.
Do i pay half towards that room, this might sound odd but sometimes yes, sometimes no. i normally make it clear during the prior conversation that if they cant accommodate i cant meet, they offer to get the room, i may well say im skint at that time ( which would be true) so not paying for a room, if they still want to carry on thats up to them.
i have found all that is tomuch presure though as i dont want to meet them , find out we dont click and they have the expense of a room for nothing.
So i tend to insist on local meets only where we can meet for a no commited, no play coffee.
typically if i now do this i can suss if i feel comfortable in their company and would want to meet for sex, and then i tend to invite them to my home.
i will be all dressed to impress, my house spotless, clean bedding, drink in the fridge, and a lovely place i hope to meet.
there fore NO cost to the guy. but on the odd ocassion it has pissed me right off.
why?... well one guy had the fucking nerve to complain i never had any male shower gel in for his after sex shower. and advised i should buy some if i am considering making this a reguler thing CHEEKY BARSTWEARD. he was not joking.
secondly i still think it would be polite for them to bring a bottle of wine or flowers, ok i know its not a date but im a lady and inviting you into my home , be polite ffs.
ok meeting couples.... this has always tended to be in their home, i travel to them, bring wine, flowers for the lady and my own travle bag containing condoms, and and freshen up items. dont tend to stay over night.
i have met couples in hotels and single guys but these have been when we have all happened to be in the same hotel so all have our own rooms, im not paying for my room and then giving then a 1/3rd or half if we happen to shag in their room lol
oh i did meet two different guys at a hotel, but the hotel was local to them and i think they split the room cost between them and i traveled 120 miles to get to them so i think my pertol was more then a share towards the hotel and i took bubbly and tappas.
god sorry for such a long post.
xx fem xx

22 Dec 2008

I would never go to someone else's house, no matter what the occasion, empty handed. It's only manners and my parents brought me up well. wink

22 Dec 2008

Giving up on meets now........credit chunch and all that!!! Then the who pays thing wont be an issue any more, not that it ever was for me! I told Mike he would start something off by posting this thread!! biggrin

(The first sentence was a joke by the way!)
Lucys post.

22 Dec 2008

I really cannot imagine a scenario where a couple meets a guy in a hotel, and the room is say 80 quid per night. Then you split the costs three ways...get the calculator out. :shock:
When I go out... maybe I have always been a Gentleman but the lady would never pick up the bill, call me old fashioned.
In a meet scenario with another guy, it would be easier to just split the costs 50-50.
For us meeting at our house has many benefits. We feel more comfortable and I can drink. Also no driving home afterwards...pure bliss.

22 Dec 2008

We have done a few hotel meets, us and another couple arranged it and invited some single guys, nothing was ever mentioned to the guys as both couples had agreed to split the bill, only one of the guys offered to pay towards the hotel which then spurred the others on,,,,,at that point I felt a bit like " paid for"
If a single guy offered to pay for hotel for us to meet up with him then yes I would let him.
If we were meeting a couple then I would offer to pay half.
We dont like to be wined and dined anyway ( think thats on our profile) so that part doesnt come into it.

22 Dec 2008

Quote by kentswingers777
Chill out ffs. I was joking. As for the pimp comment m8, you are bang out of order!!

If you was able to read instead of preach, you would have understood what I had said.

22 Dec 2008

If i was to have to meet a couple in say a hotel etc i would expect to pay , the subject wouldnt be brought up , as a single guy i think its your place to foot the bill you are sharing someone elses wife/ girlfriend .When i meet someone I allways bring a bottle and flowers for the lady no matter if anything happens i think its etiquate just to say with flowers I appreciate your invite . Yes i think a guy should pay out without question .
steve xx

22 Dec 2008

I have played as a single guy and a couple and have shared the cost.
To have a single guy paying because you are sharing someones wife, is what was discussed before and the part of pimping the wife. Would a woman on a swinging site want to feel like she is being paid? If I was a woman I definately would not.
This is where the catch 22 comes in for me. A gentleman will always want to pay but an independant woman would not want a man to pay for them.
So you will always get those for and against in this argument.
Dave_Notts

22 Dec 2008

dave_notts .. the point i was trying to make is not one of "pimping" someone elses wife/ girlfriend , it was one purely of that they are a couple you are a single guy / so on a point of manners it is only right you should quietly pay for the room etc to treat someone elses wife/ girlfriend with respect is not pimping but one of ( thank you for inviting me )I am a lucky guy .
steve xx

22 Dec 2008

Quote by travlinmanukok
dave_notts .. the point i was trying to make is not one of "pimping" someone elses wife/ girlfriend , it was one purely of that they are a couple you are a single guy / so on a point of manners it is only right you should quietly pay for the room etc to treat someone elses wife/ girlfriend with respect is not pimping but one of ( thank you for inviting me )I am a lucky guy .
steve xx

So the couple doesn't have to display manners?

22 Dec 2008

Quote by essex34m
dave_notts .. the point i was trying to make is not one of "pimping" someone elses wife/ girlfriend , it was one purely of that they are a couple you are a single guy / so on a point of manners it is only right you should quietly pay for the room etc to treat someone elses wife/ girlfriend with respect is not pimping but one of ( thank you for inviting me )I am a lucky guy .
steve xx

So the couple doesn't have to display manners?
Thats not what he said

22 Dec 2008

so would a single female be expected to pay the costs if she is meeting a couple?
xx fem xx

22 Dec 2008

Quote by TabbynTina
dave_notts .. the point i was trying to make is not one of "pimping" someone elses wife/ girlfriend , it was one purely of that they are a couple you are a single guy / so on a point of manners it is only right you should quietly pay for the room etc to treat someone elses wife/ girlfriend with respect is not pimping but one of ( thank you for inviting me )I am a lucky guy .
steve xx

So the couple doesn't have to display manners?
Thats not what he said
I asked the question, hence the question mark.
"on a point of manners it is only right you should quietly pay for the room" is the comment that prompted me to ask, as he made no reference to any input from the couple.
There is a difference between offering out of manners, and expectation.
So, if that is not what he said, then maybe he could show me where I went wrong.

22 Dec 2008

Quote by essex34m
dave_notts .. the point i was trying to make is not one of "pimping" someone elses wife/ girlfriend , it was one purely of that they are a couple you are a single guy / so on a point of manners it is only right you should quietly pay for the room etc to treat someone elses wife/ girlfriend with respect is not pimping but one of ( thank you for inviting me )I am a lucky guy .
steve xx

So the couple doesn't have to display manners?
Thats not what he said
I asked the question, hence the question mark.
"on a point of manners it is only right you should quietly pay for the room" is the comment that prompted me to ask, as he made no reference to any input from the couple.
There is a difference between offering out of manners, and expectation.
So, if that is not what he said, then maybe he could show me where I went wrong.
yes but what he didnt say is that couples should expect the single guy to pay and have no input from the couple and the couple should also disregard any manners they have for the evening just because he is a single guy

22 Dec 2008

we recently met a couple at a hotel, a hotel that they booked that they book everyweek on his works expenses, In that instance we didnt offer to pay half

22 Dec 2008

Quote by TabbynTina
we recently met a couple at a hotel, a hotel that they booked that they book everyweek on his works expenses, In that instance we didnt offer to pay half

Hope you got the beer in.

22 Dec 2008

if my partner and i meet an other couple then we split 50/50 but if i meet a couple on my own then i would not expect to pay 50% i would pay 33% if asked but to be honest as a bi fem they r normaily happy to pay for me

22 Dec 2008

Quote by essex34m

Chill out ffs. I was joking. As for the pimp comment m8, you are bang out of order!!

If you was able to read instead of preach, you would have understood what I had said.
I understood exactly what you meant m8!

22 Dec 2008

Quote by kentswingers777
m8!

There are people I like who can't call me that lol

22 Dec 2008

I think its the responsibility of the couple to make it clear about things they may not be happy with and make arrangements to avoid unpleasant incidents. Because they are already in the position to lay down the rules of play. Its unusual to find the single partner dictating terms and conditions.
Certain feelings get put to one side when you become a swinger, so its debatable how much these can be reintroduced when arguing the finer points of etiquette. But with experience one gets better at dealing with these uncomfortable compromises.
Agreeing on a price can only come down to a few basic options. And like anything involving money the same rules apply when making a deal. Agreeing within a suitable period, keeping to one's word and making the payment when its due.
One thing I do however is check the hotel price list before setting out on a jaunt. the using that as the basis of arriving at a price. I am happy to go up to half price of the room.
I don't need the mini bar. I bring my own flask and sandwiches. rolleyes

22 Dec 2008

Quote by essex34m
m8!

There are people I like who can't call me that lol

You really think that means anything to me?? You don't know me and I certainly dont want to know you. At times is it any wonder single guys get such a bad press on here.

22 Dec 2008

Quote by kentswingers777
m8!

There are people I like who can't call me that lol

You really think that means anything to me?? You don't know me and I certainly dont want to know you. At times is it any wonder single guys get such a bad press on here.
Well, thats certainly put me in my place.