I thought it was one of Sarge’s jokes – or a bit of departing banter from Arti…….
So I pushed………..
:roll: FFS!
I have no idea if anyone else saw the note or if anyone followed me but a hole in the wall appeared and I started falling…
I was in a parrallel forum. If you think this one here is weird then you should see the other one.
The first room I entered was full of old shoe boxes – each time I opened one I heard a groan. It really spooked me and I ran out. :shock:
The second room I entered had ladies knickers stuck all over the wall and ceiling and occasionally one fell off and landed on my head. :shock:
The third room had rail upon rail of different coloured tights and delicately made silk shirts with lots of ruffles and in the corner a suit of armour. Once I realised the suit of armour was walking towards me I ran out and slammed the door. :shock: :shock:
The next room was even worse. As I walked in an usher – dressed like the one from Rocky Horror – handed me a pair of 3d glasses. I put them on and immediately received a black eye from a 3ft monster cock which then chased me from the room. :shock: :shock: :shock:
As I slammed the door behind me and leant against it panting I suddenly realised that there was writing on the door in tiny letters. It said “Jag’s fantasy cock world"……….
I walked back to the third room and it said “Will’s Dressing room†– I opened the door and there was the suit of armour – only this time it spoke to me “Fred – help me out of this – just spent two hours defending Sappho’s honour and I am knackeredâ€
When I returned to the second room some time later…. Well – Will in tights never could keep me on my feet for long – the laughing always gave me cramp you know……… it said on the door “Angel Chats wardrobe†– How on earth did she get her knickers to stick all over the place – really neat! (Or is that one of those questions I just know I am going to regret asking ??????????)
The first room was the one that scared me though as all the shoe boxes kept moaning……. Until I realised it was labelled “Sarge’s joke room†!!!!!!!!!!!!
:lol: :lol: That was over 3 weeks ago – and ever since I have been walking the corridors of a world beyond your wildest nightmare…..
Behind one door were red ducks making nests out of womens breasts and offering me a peace pipe to smoke. :roll: :roll:
Others had coppers in, all dressed in ladies underwear, saying “never done this before – all in the line of duty you know!â€
8-) Even wierder was a room where there were racks and racks of emoticons and animated gif’s all labelled“Copyright Kinky Lizard 2004 – hand’s offâ€
The best one for me had Betty Boop in it just dressed in a T shirt which said “If you can catch me you can have me†– It took me 3 days before I realised that it was actually a nightmare room as the bird in there was fit as fuck and could do a sub 2hour 40min marathon. I did spend another 3 days in there trying though – just in case she decided she did want to be caught….. no such luck. However I did shed 7lbs – as good as my bout of the screaming shits only no side effects other than sexual frustration! I really must stop wearing heels when I run.
The one labelled “Blue’s path to enlightenment†did not even get opened as I have seen the effect’s of her path to enlightenment and it usually means farting without a sound for 3 weeks….. :cry: :cry:
Finally I found sanctuary in a library where a lovely librarian – who seemed to spend all her time proof reading – nurtured me back to sanity and mopped my fevered brow with her blouse – which for some reason was made of chamois leather…….. until Will showed up again waving a sword at me and screaming like a banshee. :doh:
In the end I went to see the devil in his office…..The sign said “Mark†in a nice gold italic script!
There I did a trade……
I wanted to get back to the world I knew and loved……
In return I had to agree to have sex with every female member of Swinging Heaven in my real world. After confirming the small print that I was to be the giver not the taker I signed. I know, it is a shit job, but someone has to do it………….
:wink: I worked it out that at 20 seconds a shag and 13 hours recovery time I should be finished around Xmas 2008……
ops: :oops: So ladies – please form an orderly queue around the GFZ – Will, care to be my second, or even understudy ?????????? :shock:
It is so nice to be back………I think! :wink: :wink:
Mind you - don't suppose anyone even noticed I was missing!
Fred
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: 
:smackbottom: :smackbottom: :smackbottom: :smackbottom: :smackbottom: 
:kissmyarse: :kissmyarse: 
:whip:
:D
