After reading a few pevious threads I can not believe people have to ask whos fault is unruly teenagers.
Are we not parents from the day our children are born until the day we die?
Isn't our role always to make sure we as parents take full responsiblity for our children?
Why are teenagers kicking around the streets?
Where are their parents?
If you dont like the teachers change the school, get involved at the school were you have a better view of what is going on.
Drinking havent we got to lead by example?
smoking I smoke and I will take responsiblity if my children smoke I know Children of smokers are more likely to smoke. I can only instill how stupid I am doing it.
So many people it seems want to shy away from the full responsiblity of parenthood. By blaming everyone else apart from themselves.
Sorry just my opinion
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whos to blame for unruly teenagers?
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Quote by Theladyisaminx
After reading a few pevious threads I can not believe people have to ask whos fault is unruly teenagers.
Are we not parents from the day our children are born until the day we die?
Isn't our role always to make sure we as parents take full responsiblity for our children?
Why are teenagers kicking around the streets?
Where are their parents?
If you dont like the teachers change the school, get involved at the school were you have a better view of what is going on.
Drinking havent we got to lead by example?
smoking I smoke and I will take responsiblity if my children smoke I know Children of smokers are more likely to smoke. I can only instill how stupid I am doing it.
So many people it seems want to shy away from the full responsiblity of parenthood. By blaming everyone else apart from themselves.
Sorry just my opinion
The only thing I am going to say on this thread Minxy is I always thought that children under the age of 16 WERE THE RESPONSIBILTY of their parents? :shock: :shock: I thought that was the legal standing?
Quote by Theladyisaminx
After reading a few pevious threads I can not believe people have to ask whos fault is unruly teenagers.
Are we not parents from the day our children are born until the day we die?
Isn't our role always to make sure we as parents take full responsiblity for our children?
Why are teenagers kicking around the streets?
Where are their parents?
If you dont like the teachers change the school, get involved at the school were you have a better view of what is going on.
Drinking havent we got to lead by example?
smoking I smoke and I will take responsiblity if my children smoke I know Children of smokers are more likely to smoke. I can only instill how stupid I am doing it.
So many people it seems want to shy away from the full responsiblity of parenthood. By blaming everyone else apart from themselves.
Sorry just my opinion
well said
Quote by kentswingers777
After reading a few pevious threads I can not believe people have to ask whos fault is unruly teenagers.
Are we not parents from the day our children are born until the day we die?
Isn't our role always to make sure we as parents take full responsiblity for our children?
Why are teenagers kicking around the streets?
Where are their parents?
If you dont like the teachers change the school, get involved at the school were you have a better view of what is going on.
Drinking havent we got to lead by example?
smoking I smoke and I will take responsiblity if my children smoke I know Children of smokers are more likely to smoke. I can only instill how stupid I am doing it.
So many people it seems want to shy away from the full responsiblity of parenthood. By blaming everyone else apart from themselves.
Sorry just my opinion
The only thing I am going to say on this thread Minxy is I always thought that children under the age of 16 WERE THE RESPONSIBILTY of their parents? :shock: :shock: I thought that was the legal standing?
Legal standing maybe but mine will be my responsiblity until the day I die.
What is a legal standing got to do with it?
Government make law! Are you saying they are right?
Oh here we go, another thread in retaliation to people being honest! 
I'm furious that people blame parents for their offsprings wrong doings. My response in the binge drinking is 'stop blaming the parents for binge drinking'.
Of course our kids are our responsiblity until the day we die. Minx you must have a very flowered view on life if you think kids will not do something that you cannot 100% control! It's life. Of course we can control our children until a certain age when I'm sorry but they're out on their own and you cannot be everywhere with them.
You have a 17yr old laddie and if he has never ever had a sip of alcohol without your knowing - you must be doing something right then and clearly I must be doing something wrong.
But of course if he had of had a drink would that then have been your fault? of course not!.
And to all the other perfect parents ready to have a go...
don't preach until you've been there.
I'm furious that people blame parents for their offsprings wrong doings. My response in the binge drinking is 'stop blaming the parents for binge drinking'.
Of course our kids are our responsiblity until the day we die. Minx you must have a very flowered view on life if you think kids will not do something that you cannot 100% control! It's life. Of course we can control our children until a certain age when I'm sorry but they're out on their own and you cannot be everywhere with them.
You have a 17yr old laddie and if he has never ever had a sip of alcohol without your knowing - you must be doing something right then and clearly I must be doing something wrong.
But of course if he had of had a drink would that then have been your fault? of course not!.
And to all the other perfect parents ready to have a go...
don't preach until you've been there. Quote by jaymar
Oh here we go, another thread in retaliation to people being honest!
I'm furious that people blame parents for their offsprings wrong doings. My response in the binge drinking is 'stop blaming the parents for binge drinking'.
Of course our kids are our responsiblity until the day we die. Minx you must have a very flowered view on life if you think kids will not do something that you cannot 100% control! It's life. Of course we can control our children until a certain age when I'm sorry but they're out on their own and you cannot be everywhere with them.
You have a 17yr old laddie and if he has never ever had a sip of alcohol without your knowing - you must be doing something right then and clearly I must be doing something wrong.
But of course if he had of had a drink would that then have been your fault? of course not!.
And to all the other perfect parents ready to have a go...
Jaymar.. it looks to me like you are taking responsibility. No-one can say you aren't.
I hope my son never has any issue with a substance or peers making decisions that will impact destructively on his own life. Ultimately yes, we are all parents until the child is no longer around. There isn't a manual, we do the best we can and we learn from our mistakes. Good parents give their children all the 'tools' they can to live a productive way of life. They hope their child takes on the information and lessons that have been taught and watch them go out into the world. They carry on with resilience and a new plan if things go wrong. They gamble that the new lesson will be installed better than the old was and re-send them out. etc etc.
Making mistakes is not 'lack of responsibility'. It is no longer caringto learn from the that is lack of responsibility.
Jaymar it is never easy, I am compiling a PM with some useful book details that you can buy or get from your library that have been invaluable for me when working with parents of young people in trouble.
Sex God
I think up to a point, how we raise them will affect how our children behave even when not in our company - I know I still think 'oh god if my mum/dad knew this!'.
But at some point you have to let go some of that responsibility and they have to make their own mistakes in order to learn from them. We can't be there for them every minute to protect them or instruct them.
But at some point you have to let go some of that responsibility and they have to make their own mistakes in order to learn from them. We can't be there for them every minute to protect them or instruct them.
Quote by splendid_
Oh here we go, another thread in retaliation to people being honest!
I'm furious that people blame parents for their offsprings wrong doings. My response in the binge drinking is 'stop blaming the parents for binge drinking'.
Of course our kids are our responsiblity until the day we die. Minx you must have a very flowered view on life if you think kids will not do something that you cannot 100% control! It's life. Of course we can control our children until a certain age when I'm sorry but they're out on their own and you cannot be everywhere with them.
You have a 17yr old laddie and if he has never ever had a sip of alcohol without your knowing - you must be doing something right then and clearly I must be doing something wrong.
But of course if he had of had a drink would that then have been your fault? of course not!.
And to all the other perfect parents ready to have a go...
Jaymar.. it looks to me like you are taking responsibility. No-one can say you aren't.
I hope my son never has any issue with a substance or peers making decisions that will impact destructively on his own life. Ultimately yes, we are all parents until the child is no longer around. There isn't a manual, we do the best we can and we learn from our mistakes. Good parents give their children all the 'tools' they can to live a productive way of life. They hope their child takes on the information and lessons that have been taught and watch them go out into the world. They carry on with resilience and a new plan if things go wrong. They gamble that the new lesson will be installed better than the old was and re-send them out. etc etc.
Making mistakes is not 'lack of responsibility'. It is no longer caringto learn from the that is lack of responsibility.
Jaymar it is never easy, I am compiling a PM with some useful book details that you can buy or get from your library that have been invaluable for me when working with parents of young people in trouble.
Thanks Splendid :kiss:
Warming the Bed
the actual answer to this is to teach by example as someone has already pointed out chilodren of smokers are more likely to smoke however the opposite is true in our case as we both smoke and both our children are anti
however generally your children will have a similar attitude to life as you children of parents who live on benefits assume that to be normal and will go on to have a similar life style
Generally speaking i think people divulge to much of whats going on in there lives to their children kids dont need to know every detail of your lives just look at what they are exsposed to via shows like holioaks and other soaps they seee this as real life and emulate them. the old adage of children should be seen and not heard may be a bit to draconian in this enlightened age but a shift back in that direction wouldnt be a bad thing
teachers seem to want to be one of the gang instead of respected/ feared figures of authority
forty years ago kids had no rights they were the resonsibility of there parents as their parents had absolute control
once you give children rights they cannot remain your responsibility
i dont belive for one minute that my parents lives were untouched by financial and emotional turmoil and strife but as a child i wouldnt have known they would have only told me as much as i needed to know and i would accept that ,now people heap they worries onto there kids sharing everything with them some things kids dont need to know
however generally your children will have a similar attitude to life as you children of parents who live on benefits assume that to be normal and will go on to have a similar life style
Generally speaking i think people divulge to much of whats going on in there lives to their children kids dont need to know every detail of your lives just look at what they are exsposed to via shows like holioaks and other soaps they seee this as real life and emulate them. the old adage of children should be seen and not heard may be a bit to draconian in this enlightened age but a shift back in that direction wouldnt be a bad thing
teachers seem to want to be one of the gang instead of respected/ feared figures of authority
forty years ago kids had no rights they were the resonsibility of there parents as their parents had absolute control
once you give children rights they cannot remain your responsibility
i dont belive for one minute that my parents lives were untouched by financial and emotional turmoil and strife but as a child i wouldnt have known they would have only told me as much as i needed to know and i would accept that ,now people heap they worries onto there kids sharing everything with them some things kids dont need to know
Sex God
Quote by mitzimad
teachers seem to want to be one of the gang instead of respected/ feared figures of authority
forty years ago kids had no rights they were the resonsibility of there parents as their parents had absolute control
once you give children rights they cannot remain your responsibility
Not all teachers want to be one of the gang.
And children have always had rights, as human beings. They are just made more of now.
Quote by Freckledbird
teachers seem to want to be one of the gang instead of respected/ feared figures of authority
forty years ago kids had no rights they were the resonsibility of there parents as their parents had absolute control
once you give children rights they cannot remain your responsibility
Not all teachers want to be one of the gang.
And children have always had rights, as human beings. They are just made more of now.
my son won't become a human being until I say so....
:smackbottom: I will bloody disagree with you this week if it kills me
Sex God
Quote by splendid_
teachers seem to want to be one of the gang instead of respected/ feared figures of authority
forty years ago kids had no rights they were the resonsibility of there parents as their parents had absolute control
once you give children rights they cannot remain your responsibility
Not all teachers want to be one of the gang.
And children have always had rights, as human beings. They are just made more of now.
my son won't become a human being until I say so....
:smackbottom: I will bloody disagree with you this week if it kills me
Oh behave!
:lol: Quote by Freckledbird
teachers seem to want to be one of the gang instead of respected/ feared figures of authority
forty years ago kids had no rights they were the resonsibility of there parents as their parents had absolute control
once you give children rights they cannot remain your responsibility
Not all teachers want to be one of the gang.
And children have always had rights, as human beings. They are just made more of now.
my son won't become a human being until I say so....
:smackbottom: I will bloody disagree with you this week if it kills me
Oh behave!
:lol:Oh gosh, I can actually hear you say that in the classroom.
:shock:
Sex God
Quote by splendid_
Oh behave!
Oh gosh, I can actually hear you say that in the classroom.
:shock:
I don't, actually - I have 'the look'. :shock: :lol:
Sex God
Quote by Freckledbird
Oh behave!
Oh gosh, I can actually hear you say that in the classroom.
:shock:
I don't, actually - I have 'the look'. :shock: :lol:
Believe me it's true! The look instils three years education in 5 seconds!! :shock:
She's told me to 'Behave!' though. :scared:
.
Sex God
Very well put and probably alot of truth in this.
Quote by mitzimad
the actual answer to this is to teach by example as someone has already pointed out chilodren of smokers are more likely to smoke however the opposite is true in our case as we both smoke and both our children are anti
however generally your children will have a similar attitude to life as you children of parents who live on benefits assume that to be normal and will go on to have a similar life style
Generally speaking i think people divulge to much of whats going on in there lives to their children kids dont need to know every detail of your lives just look at what they are exsposed to via shows like holioaks and other soaps they seee this as real life and emulate them. the old adage of children should be seen and not heard may be a bit to draconian in this enlightened age but a shift back in that direction wouldnt be a bad thing
teachers seem to want to be one of the gang instead of respected/ feared figures of authority
forty years ago kids had no rights they were the resonsibility of there parents as their parents had absolute control
once you give children rights they cannot remain your responsibility
i dont belive for one minute that my parents lives were untouched by financial and emotional turmoil and strife but as a child i wouldnt have known they would have only told me as much as i needed to know and i would accept that ,now people heap they worries onto there kids sharing everything with them some things kids dont need to know
Sex God
Quote by westerross
I don't, actually - I have 'the look'. :shock:
Believe me it's true! The look instils three years education in 5 seconds!! :shock:
She's told me to 'Behave!' though. :scared:
.
Ooooooo when did I tell you to behave then? :shock:
Sorry for the hijack, Minx
Oh here we go, another thread in retaliation to people being honest!
I'm furious that people blame parents for their offsprings wrong doings. My response in the binge drinking is 'stop blaming the parents for binge drinking'.
Of course our kids are our responsiblity until the day we die. Minx you must have a very flowered view on life if you think kids will not do something that you cannot 100% control! It's life. Of course we can control our children until a certain age when I'm sorry but they're out on their own and you cannot be everywhere with them.
You have a 17yr old laddie and if he has never ever had a sip of alcohol without your knowing - you must be doing something right then and clearly I must be doing something wrong.
But of course if he had of had a drink would that then have been your fault? of course not!.
And to all the other perfect parents ready to have a go...
I will respond here I have also read your post in the binge drinking thread!
I hope you dont think I dont sympathise with you, I truely do. I have an 11 year old daughter who always pushes the boudaries, and I just hope and pray she doesn't buckle under peer pressure. I was a teenager once like us all I always looked for ways to push the boundaries, thought my parents didn't know much. But i still believe with the right footing at an early age they will hopefully come out of these phases and see sence. A lot of mine was down to disliking school and being bullied. Once I left school I changed. I don't live with a flowered view but do always feel there is something that makes children behave in certain ways when the parents are doing everything right. We as parents have be aware and look for signs and address them. Could be a mulitude of reasons some of which we would think very trival but children don't. I know my son has a group of friends in his life that do drink, but the parents drink within the home every night surely these children see that as a normal practice. (i am not saying this is the case in your home) we have a drink very rarely a few times a year and if our son is here we offer him one too. But as I said I have two younger ones who knows I might be here in a few years in your possition.
Quote by Theladyisaminx
Oh here we go, another thread in retaliation to people being honest!
I'm furious that people blame parents for their offsprings wrong doings. My response in the binge drinking is 'stop blaming the parents for binge drinking'.
Of course our kids are our responsiblity until the day we die. Minx you must have a very flowered view on life if you think kids will not do something that you cannot 100% control! It's life. Of course we can control our children until a certain age when I'm sorry but they're out on their own and you cannot be everywhere with them.
You have a 17yr old laddie and if he has never ever had a sip of alcohol without your knowing - you must be doing something right then and clearly I must be doing something wrong.
But of course if he had of had a drink would that then have been your fault? of course not!.
And to all the other perfect parents ready to have a go...
I will respond here I have also read your post in the binge drinking thread!
I hope you dont think I dont sympathise with you, I truely do. I have an 11 year old daughter who always pushes the boudaries, and I just hope and pray she doesn't buckle under peer pressure. I was a teenager once like us all I always looked for ways to push the boundaries, thought my parents didn't know much. But i still believe with the right footing at an early age they will hopefully come out of these phases and see sence. A lot of mine was down to disliking school and being bullied. Once I left school I changed. I don't live with a flowered view but do always feel there is something that makes children behave in certain ways when the parents are doing everything right. We as parents have be aware and look for signs and address them. Could be a mulitude of reasons some of which we would think very trival but children don't. I know my son has a group of friends in his life that do drink, but the parents drink within the home every night surely these children see that as a normal practice. (i am not saying this is the case in your home) we have a drink very rarely a few times a year and if our son is here we offer him one too. But as I said I have two younger ones who knows I might be here in a few years in your possition.
It's ok.. as I've said I never allowed my daughter to see me drunk, I don't believe in that. There was once and only once when that happened and it was a stupid mistake because I hadn't eaten. She was 14 and found it abs. hilarious because she said in her words 'cool, mam's drunk, how chilled out is she?' :shock: my immediate reaction was to tell her it was bedtime. I've done everything in my power for 15 years to protect my daughter from the horrors of drink and drugs, but her friends cannot back up what I've done, I'm afraid. She is now unfortunately in their grasps but I know deep down she knows drink doesn't bring the desired affects her pals tell her it does!
Quote by splendid_
Oh here we go, another thread in retaliation to people being honest!
I'm furious that people blame parents for their offsprings wrong doings. My response in the binge drinking is 'stop blaming the parents for binge drinking'.
Of course our kids are our responsiblity until the day we die. Minx you must have a very flowered view on life if you think kids will not do something that you cannot 100% control! It's life. Of course we can control our children until a certain age when I'm sorry but they're out on their own and you cannot be everywhere with them.
You have a 17yr old laddie and if he has never ever had a sip of alcohol without your knowing - you must be doing something right then and clearly I must be doing something wrong.
But of course if he had of had a drink would that then have been your fault? of course not!.
And to all the other perfect parents ready to have a go...
Jaymar.. it looks to me like you are taking responsibility. No-one can say you aren't.
I hope my son never has any issue with a substance or peers making decisions that will impact destructively on his own life. Ultimately yes, we are all parents until the child is no longer around. There isn't a manual, we do the best we can and we learn from our mistakes. Good parents give their children all the 'tools' they can to live a productive way of life. They hope their child takes on the information and lessons that have been taught and watch them go out into the world. They carry on with resilience and a new plan if things go wrong. They gamble that the new lesson will be installed better than the old was and re-send them out. etc etc.
Making mistakes is not 'lack of responsibility'. It is no longer caringto learn from the that is lack of responsibility.
Jaymar it is never easy, I am compiling a PM with some useful book details that you can buy or get from your library that have been invaluable for me when working with parents of young people in trouble.
thanks petal :kiss:
Sex God
I do believe that children learn a lot from the home but......
There are children out there (we know....we have one) who just have to find out what something is like for themselves and wont settle untill they do.....
They may well never do it again but theyhave to try just the once....
Then you have the children that suffer from a particular illness (again we know we have one) and that sometimes affect their higher reasoning and no matter what you do....How many warnings you issue.....How many punishments you issue.....You cant change it....
There are no hard and fast rules and there certainly isn't a book or manual on how to raise the perfect child....
Its like life really.......
There is no rehearsal......You just have to make the best effort you can now and if things dont turn out perfect dont beat yourself up over it....
I hope at least some of what I written makes sense to somebody..
Oh and Jaymar
:therethere:
There are children out there (we know....we have one) who just have to find out what something is like for themselves and wont settle untill they do.....
They may well never do it again but theyhave to try just the once....
Then you have the children that suffer from a particular illness (again we know we have one) and that sometimes affect their higher reasoning and no matter what you do....How many warnings you issue.....How many punishments you issue.....You cant change it....
There are no hard and fast rules and there certainly isn't a book or manual on how to raise the perfect child....
Its like life really.......
There is no rehearsal......You just have to make the best effort you can now and if things dont turn out perfect dont beat yourself up over it....
I hope at least some of what I written makes sense to somebody..
Oh and Jaymar
:therethere:
Subject close to my heart lol. I work in 2 diferrent communities and both have been identified as severely socially and economically deprived. Area 1 - kids treat all adults with respect, rarely in trouble with local police, there is a few young people with an ASBO and most of all I come home from work with a feeling of achievement because the young people actually work with us (just to add this is the worst off area of the 2). Area 2 - every week since christmas I have to call the police to work to deal with anti social behaviour, last week a member of my staff was assualted with a chair, staff cars have been damaged and a local voluntary centre has banned all young people over the age of 11 using the provision because of damage caused to the building and assault on a 73 year old volunteer.
Who is to blame? Area 2 I blame the parents and the adults in the community as they have allowed the young people to take over the community. They are out till after midnight and many are taking drugs and using alcohol. The community has become frightened of the young people and they know it. As for Area 1, the community has always worked together to improve the way of life in the community and constantly work with local police to combat the problems with drugs and alcohol. Yes there are still issues if anti social behaviour in the community, but the adults are not frightened. There is the difference.
Who is to blame? Area 2 I blame the parents and the adults in the community as they have allowed the young people to take over the community. They are out till after midnight and many are taking drugs and using alcohol. The community has become frightened of the young people and they know it. As for Area 1, the community has always worked together to improve the way of life in the community and constantly work with local police to combat the problems with drugs and alcohol. Yes there are still issues if anti social behaviour in the community, but the adults are not frightened. There is the difference.
Quote by mickandmich
Subject close to my heart lol. I work in 2 diferrent communities and both have been identified as severely socially and economically deprived. Area 1 - kids treat all adults with respect, rarely in trouble with local police, there is a few young people with an ASBO and most of all I come home from work with a feeling of achievement because the young people actually work with us (just to add this is the worst off area of the 2). Area 2 - every week since christmas I have to call the police to work to deal with anti social behaviour, last week a member of my staff was assualted with a chair, staff cars have been damaged and a local voluntary centre has banned all young people over the age of 11 using the provision because of damage caused to the building and assault on a 73 year old volunteer.
Who is to blame? Area 2 I blame the parents and the adults in the community as they have allowed the young people to take over the community. They are out till after midnight and many are taking drugs and using alcohol. The community has become frightened of the young people and they know it. As for Area 1, the community has always worked together to improve the way of life in the community and constantly work with local police to combat the problems with drugs and alcohol. Yes there are still issues if anti social behaviour in the community, but the adults are not frightened. There is the difference.
Goes back to my thread on binge drinking under age drinkers! :shock:
Sex God
Short answer....we are all responsible.
Sex God
Quote by Staggerleei agree
Short answer....we are all responsible.
