Why Women are Crabby
We start to "bud" in our blouses at 9 or 10 years old only to find anything that comes in contact with those tender, blooming buds hurts so bad it brings us to tears. Enter the almighty, uncomfortable training bra contraption the boys in school will snap until we have calluses on our backs.
Next, we get our periods in our early to mid-teens (or sooner). Along with those budding boobs, we now bloat, we cramp, we get the hormone crankies, have to wear little mattresses between our legs or insert tubular, packed cotton rods in places we didn't even know we had.
Our next little rite of passage (premarital or not) is having sex for the first time which is about as much fun as having a ramrod push your uterus through your nostrils (IF he did it right and didn't end up with his little cart before his horse), leaving us to wonder what all the fuss was about.
Then it's off to Motherhood where we learn to live on dry crackers and water for a few months so we don't spend the entire day leaning over Brother John. Of course, amazing creatures that we are (and we are), we learn to live with the growing little angels inside us steadily kicking our innards night and day making us wonder if we're having Rosemary's Baby.
Our once flat bellies now look like we swallowed a watermelon whole and we pee in our pants every time we sneeze. When the big moment arrives, the dam in our blessed Nether Regions will invariably burst right in the middle of the shopping centrell and we'll waddle with our big cartoon feet moaning in pain all the way to A & E. Then it's huff and puff and beg to die while the midwife says, "Please stop screaming, Calm down and push. Just one more (or 10 ) good push," warranting a strong, well-deserved impulse to punch the ***** (and hubby) square in the nose for making us cram a wiggling, mushroom-headed 10 lb bowling ball through a keyhole.
After that, it's time to raise those angels only to find that when all that "cute" wears off, the beautiful little darlings morph into walking, jabbering, wet, gooey, snot-blowing, life-sucking little poop machines.
The teen years. Need I say more?
The kids are almost grown now and we women hit our voracious sexual prime in our early 40's while hubby had his somewhere around his 18th birthday.
Now we hit the grand finale: "The Menopause," the Grandmother of all womanhood. It's either take the HR (hormone replacement) and chance cancer in those now seasoned "buds" or the aforementioned Nether Regions, or, sweat like a pig in July, wash your sheets and pillowcases daily and bite the head off anything that moves.
Now, you ask WHY women seem to be more spiteful than men when men get off so
easy INCLUDING the icing on life's cake ...... being able to pee in the woods without soaking their socks...
Now I love being a woman but "Womanhood" would make the Great Ghandi a tad
crabby. Women are the "weaker sex"? Yeah right. Bite me!
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why women are crabby
Quote by lucyslovely
Why Women are Crabby
We start to "bud" in our blouses at 9 or 10 years old only to find anything that comes in contact with those tender, blooming buds hurts so bad it brings us to tears. Enter the almighty, uncomfortable training bra contraption the boys in school will snap until we have calluses on our backs.
Next, we get our periods in our early to mid-teens (or sooner). Along with those budding boobs, we now bloat, we cramp, we get the hormone crankies, have to wear little mattresses between our legs or insert tubular, packed cotton rods in places we didn't even know we had.
Our next little rite of passage (premarital or not) is having sex for the first time which is about as much fun as having a ramrod push your uterus through your nostrils (IF he did it right and didn't end up with his little cart before his horse), leaving us to wonder what all the fuss was about.
Then it's off to Motherhood where we learn to live on dry crackers and water for a few months so we don't spend the entire day leaning over Brother John. Of course, amazing creatures that we are (and we are), we learn to live with the growing little angels inside us steadily kicking our innards night and day making us wonder if we're having Rosemary's Baby.
Our once flat bellies now look like we swallowed a watermelon whole and we pee in our pants every time we sneeze. When the big moment arrives, the dam in our blessed Nether Regions will invariably burst right in the middle of the shopping centrell and we'll waddle with our big cartoon feet moaning in pain all the way to A & E. Then it's huff and puff and beg to die while the midwife says, "Please stop screaming, Calm down and push. Just one more (or 10 ) good push," warranting a strong, well-deserved impulse to punch the ***** (and hubby) square in the nose for making us cram a wiggling, mushroom-headed 10 lb bowling ball through a keyhole.
After that, it's time to raise those angels only to find that when all that "cute" wears off, the beautiful little darlings morph into walking, jabbering, wet, gooey, snot-blowing, life-sucking little poop machines.
The teen years. Need I say more?
The kids are almost grown now and we women hit our voracious sexual prime in our early 40's while hubby had his somewhere around his 18th birthday.
Now we hit the grand finale: "The Menopause," the Grandmother of all womanhood. It's either take the HR (hormone replacement) and chance cancer in those now seasoned "buds" or the aforementioned Nether Regions, or, sweat like a pig in July, wash your sheets and pillowcases daily and bite the head off anything that moves.
Now, you ask WHY women seem to be more spiteful than men when men get off so
easy INCLUDING the icing on life's cake ...... being able to pee in the woods without soaking their socks...
Now I love being a woman but "Womanhood" would make the Great Ghandi a tad
crabby. Women are the "weaker sex"? Yeah right. Bite me!
So what are you saying?
Sex God
Hit the nail on the head 
Hmm lots of detractors there.... but there is positive stuff too.... like being able to go all night... having longer better orgasms, rather than some 10 second incident. And lets face it... because you had boobs sprouting from your chest you look a lot nicer than men do, and have a far larger choice of sexy underwear and sexy clothes!!
All men get to flaunt is their beer bellies... women get to display their assets in public, and nobody complains or calls the cops!
...Who says you can't pee outside?? I think your just using the wrong technique (or maybe I just know the wrong women!)
..... Am now going to run and hide from all the abuse and flames...... :giveup:
All men get to flaunt is their beer bellies... women get to display their assets in public, and nobody complains or calls the cops!
...Who says you can't pee outside?? I think your just using the wrong technique (or maybe I just know the wrong women!)
..... Am now going to run and hide from all the abuse and flames...... :giveup:
Sex God
Quote by Clare_Lincs
Oi Roger we can kill the little blighters but i just dont like the mess it makes when theyre squished that all
But - spiders are nice - they eat flies and things for you ...
Quote by J3diMast3r
Oi Roger we can kill the little blighters but i just dont like the mess it makes when theyre squished that all
But - spiders are nice - they eat flies and things for you ...
The two fecking great bastards that found there way into this house the other night never ate the flies and could never in a million years be called nie!!!!! Had to call hubby home from work for one and the dog ate the other :!: :!: :!: :!:
Cue two hyper hysterical children and an arachnophobic mom all shedding tears with a rather unsympathetic hubby looking for one whilst the dog sat licking her lips wondering waht the hell all the fuss was about!
I prefer to put the spiders outside 
:grin: