Hi, im a former forces guy, sadly injured in Afgan where I lost my left foot and now use a prosthesis. I,ve been on the swinging scene for around 10 years, but since the accident have lost the confidence to make contact with people or send friend requests or even comment in the chat rooms. I dont look any different or act it. Im just a normal guy with sexual interests like everybody else. Will I still fit into the scene or is it time to give up and start collecting stamps? Any advice would be welcome even if just to buff my confidence a little. Many thanks jjrob.
Join the most popular community of UK swingers now
Login
Will I still be accepted?
There are some great stamps out there and there will be a glut of new covers issued with the Olympics and Jubilee around the corner, but if that's seriously how you think go back to Afganistan and see if you can give up the rest of yourself.
Your a soldier and whilst the change in your life is major, it is not life changing, you are not really any different now than you were before you were WIA, there are women here that get wet at the thought of a soldier in thier knickers, there are others who actually seek amputees (and not just in swinging.
Even clubs like Chameleons which because of the age of the building is not wheelchair friendly (and because it is a private members club does not come under the new legislation for wheelchair access) is accessible to you.
Seriously if this sounds unsympathetic I am sorry, but sympathy is not what you need, all you need is confidence, something that half the single guys going to clubs lack suffer from anyway when going for the first time.
If you feel it's too much come with me I will take you to Atlantis in Stoke on Trent and introduce you to a few people.
Your a soldier and whilst the change in your life is major, it is not life changing, you are not really any different now than you were before you were WIA, there are women here that get wet at the thought of a soldier in thier knickers, there are others who actually seek amputees (and not just in swinging.
Even clubs like Chameleons which because of the age of the building is not wheelchair friendly (and because it is a private members club does not come under the new legislation for wheelchair access) is accessible to you.
Seriously if this sounds unsympathetic I am sorry, but sympathy is not what you need, all you need is confidence, something that half the single guys going to clubs lack suffer from anyway when going for the first time.
If you feel it's too much come with me I will take you to Atlantis in Stoke on Trent and introduce you to a few people.
Quote by tyracer
take mids up on the offer.
she's a nice,straight talking woman and you'll be in good hands.
welcome,good luck, and i hope to see you in chat and around the forums.
Just to put the record straight and not give the guy false hopes and misconceptions, I am Jed (always me in the forums Sasha uses the Chatrooms which I don't) so it would be me taking him to the club (awwwww)not Sasha.
Meanwhile tyracer, Sasha said thankyou xx for the kind comment
Quote by MidsCouple24
take mids up on the offer.
she's a nice,straight talking woman and you'll be in good hands.
welcome,good luck, and i hope to see you in chat and around the forums.
Just to put the record straight and not give the guy false hopes and misconceptions, I am Jed (always me in the forums Sasha uses the Chatrooms which I don't) so it would be me taking him to the club (awwwww)not Sasha.
Meanwhile tyracer, Sasha said thankyou xx for the kind comment
not a problem. i see how some people are so notice these things.
good people will always stand out.
Sex God
Personally feet are not the extremity that I would be looking to be all present and correct, 
and so not an important part of my criteria. However, confidence is important ... I can understand your lack of confidence and the reasons why this has come about. I don't understand why you won't comment in chat though. If your accident is the problem, no one can see! I have often been very intrigued by people in chat when i don't even know what they look like, and all because they have let their personality shine through. Just be you, if you are a good person it will show. This is much more important than a loss of a foot (to me anyway).
and so not an important part of my criteria. However, confidence is important ... I can understand your lack of confidence and the reasons why this has come about. I don't understand why you won't comment in chat though. If your accident is the problem, no one can see! I have often been very intrigued by people in chat when i don't even know what they look like, and all because they have let their personality shine through. Just be you, if you are a good person it will show. This is much more important than a loss of a foot (to me anyway). Quote by Funlovers2009
Personally feet are not the extremity that I would be looking to be all present and correct,
I agree
A six pack helps
Rugged good looks won't do any harm
PERSONALITY WILL GET YOU LAID
Sex God
:welcome: to the forum jjrob!
You could maybe think about going to one of the Munches or socials advertised in the Let's Meet Up or Club Meets forums. That way you could meet folk, chat and build your confidence.
Ultimately, as others have said, confidence is sexy. Don't ever doubt yourself; in your own words, you're just a normal guy with sexual interests. :thumbup:
You could maybe think about going to one of the Munches or socials advertised in the Let's Meet Up or Club Meets forums. That way you could meet folk, chat and build your confidence.
Ultimately, as others have said, confidence is sexy. Don't ever doubt yourself; in your own words, you're just a normal guy with sexual interests. :thumbup:
Sex God
Hi JJrob, great to see you posting in the forums and always good to see a new 'poster' in here.
You ask if others will accept you, well, I cant answer that, but what I would say, is if they dont, they are ones who have a problem, not you
You ask if others will accept you, well, I cant answer that, but what I would say, is if they dont, they are ones who have a problem, not you
Quote by jjrob
Hi, im a former forces guy, sadly injured in Afgan where I lost my left foot and now use a prosthesis. I,ve been on the swinging scene for around 10 years, but since the accident have lost the confidence to make contact with people or send friend requests or even comment in the chat rooms. I dont look any different or act it. Im just a normal guy with sexual interests like everybody else. Will I still fit into the scene or is it time to give up and start collecting stamps? Any advice would be welcome even if just to buff my confidence a little. Many thanks jjrob.
As a Bi male, I think your handsome x
Master of Sex
Interesting to come across your post today, because only recently I met someone who was also ex forces and injured- amputated below the knee. He is VERY cute, lovely to chat to, and very confident!! Especially with other bits of his body if ya know what I mean ;)
For me, it was not an issue at all. Obviously I'm not going to ignore the fact and pretend! But I am (I believe) a decent enough person, curious about life and people, and confident to ask questions about it and then move on. And I hope to think there are plenty other people out there like me. And if you do come across individuals who judge you, well, you don't want to associate with them anyway! It might be hard to meet people, but then, this is the case for everyone on here I think. It takes time to filter through and find the genuine people whatever your physique!
Goodluck!! x
For me, it was not an issue at all. Obviously I'm not going to ignore the fact and pretend! But I am (I believe) a decent enough person, curious about life and people, and confident to ask questions about it and then move on. And I hope to think there are plenty other people out there like me. And if you do come across individuals who judge you, well, you don't want to associate with them anyway! It might be hard to meet people, but then, this is the case for everyone on here I think. It takes time to filter through and find the genuine people whatever your physique!
Goodluck!! x
Sex God
It's great to see you getting back into the swing. Maybe I am unusual (or wierd if you like) but I find scars and such like interesting and not at all unattractive. People's lives are so fascinating and wrinkles, scars even the occasional amputation simply marks the events that have produced a rounded, interesting human being.
I'm also an engineer so would be very nosy about any mechanical prostheses.
When you are ready, you will be ready to jump back into the scene. You are a soldier - even if not active any longer. You know about overcoming threats and such like. You WILL overcome the loss of confidence that is a current but transitional condition. I do find that faking confidence can often result in gaining true confidence.
I'm also an engineer so would be very nosy about any mechanical prostheses.
When you are ready, you will be ready to jump back into the scene. You are a soldier - even if not active any longer. You know about overcoming threats and such like. You WILL overcome the loss of confidence that is a current but transitional condition. I do find that faking confidence can often result in gaining true confidence.
Casanova
jjrob I don't know how recent your injury is/was but you sound like you are still adjusting to it. A few people have mentioned this and I will also - your issue here is confidence, not people's acceptance, or your disability (whether actual, perseved or inbetween). You recognise yourself that the missing foot doesn't and shouldn't define you, so basically don't let it ;) Like Andy said just above: you've started your very profile with a mention of your injury, in detail - you are showcasing it yourself, making it a big deal. At first intance, strangers will have to take your word for who you are, so they will follow the direction you are sending them off to - so make it a positive one.
And hey do come in the chat, send messages, make contact etc - you still have two hands so at least typing is as easy as it ever was! Judging from the volume and quality of typing in most chatrooms it looks like most are typing with only one hand, if not their noses - so you'll have an advantage there ;) Remember, at the end of the day we all have our weak points and we all have our insecurities. Just get stuck back in and see how it goes (and I think the chat can be a great confidence booster).
Nooooo! As I said maybe not to be mentioned first thing, maybe not mentioned on the profile at all, but worth mentioning as conversation brings it up. And certainly something to let people know about before you meet them! As anybody who has been in a similar situation could tell you... there is nothing worse than being surprised with something you didn't expect (even if it's 2 stone of extra weight), can't quite adjust to right then (how many people here have seen a prosthesis? I sure haven't), and are not sure whether it's ok to even mention it/ask things about it - since the person had clearly chosen not to talk about it. Elephant in the room! Also not very endearing to downplay something that can be a big deal - even random strangers need time to adjust, it is not shallow to run from a situation you don't comprehend. Be open, be vulnerable even. People accept, and understand.
PS. for the record I let all my prospective meets know I am a little loopy, but most have noticed by that point!
And hey do come in the chat, send messages, make contact etc - you still have two hands so at least typing is as easy as it ever was! Judging from the volume and quality of typing in most chatrooms it looks like most are typing with only one hand, if not their noses - so you'll have an advantage there ;) Remember, at the end of the day we all have our weak points and we all have our insecurities. Just get stuck back in and see how it goes (and I think the chat can be a great confidence booster).
Quote by Andy_Jules
Also, when (not if) you decide to interact again it might be an idea to say nothing about your missing 5 toes and foot, not because it's a secret but simply because it really shouldnt matter and if you meet up and they take issue with you then simply turn around and hop off, they're the ones that are shallow not you.
Nooooo! As I said maybe not to be mentioned first thing, maybe not mentioned on the profile at all, but worth mentioning as conversation brings it up. And certainly something to let people know about before you meet them! As anybody who has been in a similar situation could tell you... there is nothing worse than being surprised with something you didn't expect (even if it's 2 stone of extra weight), can't quite adjust to right then (how many people here have seen a prosthesis? I sure haven't), and are not sure whether it's ok to even mention it/ask things about it - since the person had clearly chosen not to talk about it. Elephant in the room! Also not very endearing to downplay something that can be a big deal - even random strangers need time to adjust, it is not shallow to run from a situation you don't comprehend. Be open, be vulnerable even. People accept, and understand.
PS. for the record I let all my prospective meets know I am a little loopy, but most have noticed by that point!
Quote by jjrob
Thank you to everyone that left a comment, each and everyone of them has been a help. I have a new perspective on things now guys. My glass suddenly feels half full instead of half empty. And that profile is getting a makeover. Once again thank you. JJ
Just wanted to wish you good luck...and to say you have a lovely backside
(And also to say that I love the irony of the description "finding my feet" that you currently have on account of the amount of posts you have made
) 