(Blatantly stolen from another web site)
Subject: EARLY RETIREMENT
It is important for men to remember, that as women grow older it becomes
harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when
they were younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some
are oversensitive and there is nothing worse than an oversensitive
woman.
My name is John. Let me relate how I handled the situation with my
wife, Sue. When I was laid off from my consulting job and took "early
retirement" in April, it became necessary for Sue to get a full-time
job, both for extra income and for the health benefits that we needed.
Shortly after she started working I noticed she was beginning to show
her age. I usually get home from the Golf Course about the same time she
gets home from work. Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost
always says she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts
dinner. I don't yell at her. Instead, I tell her to take her time and
just wake me when she gets dinner on the table. I generally have lunch
in the Men's Grill at the club so eating out is not reasonable. I'm
ready for some home cooked grub when I hit that door...
She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating. But now, it's
not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner.
I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each
evening that they won't clean themselves. I know she appreciates this,
as it does seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed.
I really think my old business as a consultant helps a lot. I consider
telling people what they ought to do one of my strong points...
And speaking of bed, her age really shows up there. I go out and golf
all day, come in dead tired and after a two hour nap and a good meal,
I'm ready, if you know what I mean. Age has caught her so bad that she
actually dozes off during lovemaking. But that's okay. Her satisfaction
in that area is important to a sensitive guy like me and if she enjoys
sleeping during our little trysts, what the hey…
Now that she has become older, she does seem to get tired so much more
quickly. Our washer and dryer are in the basement. Sometimes she says
she just can't make another trip down those steps. I don't make a big
issue of this; as she finishes up the laundry the next evening, I'm
willing to overlook it. Not only that, but unless I need something
ironed to wear to the Monday lodge meeting, or to Wednesday's or
Saturday's poker club, or to Tuesday's or Thursday's bowling, or
something like that, I will tell her to wait until the next evening to
do the ironing. This gives her a little more time to do some of those
odds and ends like shampooing the dog, vacuuming or dusting.
Also, if I had a really good day on the course and it was wet and muddy
my clubs are a mess, so I let her clean them, you know... get the grit
off the grips and a little light Brillo on the club faces at a casual
pace. My golf bag is heavy so I lift it out of the trunk for her. Women
are delicate, have weak wrists and can't lift heavy stuff as well as
men. But I did tell her I don't like to be wakened during my after golf
nap, so rather then bother me, she can put them back in the trunk when
she's finished.
Another symptom of aging is complaining, I think. For example, she will
say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills
during her lunch hour. But boys, we take em for better or worse, so I
just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over
two or even three days. That way she won't have to rush so much.
I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't
hurt her any (if you know what I mean). I like to think tact is one of
my strong points.
When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods.
She had to take a break when she was only half finished mowing the yard.
I try not to make a scene.
I'm a fair man. I tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of
freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit for a while. And, as long as she
is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me too, then
take her break by my hammock. That way she can talk with me until I fall
asleep.
I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Sue. I'm
not saying that showing this much consideration is easy. Many men will
find it difficult. Some will find it impossible! Nobody knows better
than I do, how frustrating women get as they get older.
However, guys, even if you just use a little more tact and less
criticism of your aging wife because of this article, I will consider
that writing it was well worthwhile. After all, we are put on this earth
to help each other... Signed, Paul
EDITOR'S NOTE: John died suddenly Thursday, Oct 3. He was found with a
Callaway extra long 50 inch Big Bertha Driver rammed up his rectum with
only 2 inches of grip showing. His wife Sue was arrested, but the Grand
Jury accepted her defence that he accidentally sat on it, and she was
released on Friday, Oct 4.
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Women need more help as they get older.......
Orgasminator
Is this a fictional story?
Sounds like its john who had the problem, nothing to do with women getting older. Not suprised he had something sharp shoved up his backside.......... suprised it didn't happen earlier.
Sounds like its john who had the problem, nothing to do with women getting older. Not suprised he had something sharp shoved up his backside.......... suprised it didn't happen earlier.
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: That cannot be true can it ?
Surely you need more than 2 inches of grip showing to perform a good swing
As for women dozing off during lovemaking, I always thought I had tired them out...hehe
Moral of the story is obviously to keep your golf clubs away from the wife - no change there then.... :twisted:
Surely you need more than 2 inches of grip showing to perform a good swing
As for women dozing off during lovemaking, I always thought I had tired them out...hehe
Moral of the story is obviously to keep your golf clubs away from the wife - no change there then.... :twisted:
my wife wouldnt dare take a brillo pad to my clubs, think ofl the damage that could do to them over a prolonged period of time, she would have to work extra shifts at christmas to keep paying for new ones. No, I have her use a toothbrush instead, and being an understanding chap like Paul I bought her an electric one for her birthday to make life a bit easier (a bit like the breadmaker last year). But come to think of it she goes through an awful lot of new heads, i wonder if she has discovered a second use for the toothbrush, and why does she not wan sex anymore?????????????
Quote by Parrot
(Blatantly stolen from another web site)
Subject: EARLY RETIREMENT
It is important for men to remember, that as women grow older it becomes
harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when
they were younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some
are oversensitive and there is nothing worse than an oversensitive
woman.
My name is John. Let me relate how I handled the situation with my
wife, Sue. When I was laid off from my consulting job and took "early
retirement" in April, it became necessary for Sue to get a full-time
job, both for extra income and for the health benefits that we needed.
Shortly after she started working I noticed she was beginning to show
her age. I usually get home from the Golf Course about the same time she
gets home from work. Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost
always says she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts
dinner. I don't yell at her. Instead, I tell her to take her time and
just wake me when she gets dinner on the table. I generally have lunch
in the Men's Grill at the club so eating out is not reasonable. I'm
ready for some home cooked grub when I hit that door...
She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating. But now, it's
not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner.
I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each
evening that they won't clean themselves. I know she appreciates this,
as it does seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed.
I really think my old business as a consultant helps a lot. I consider
telling people what they ought to do one of my strong points...
And speaking of bed, her age really shows up there. I go out and golf
all day, come in dead tired and after a two hour nap and a good meal,
I'm ready, if you know what I mean. Age has caught her so bad that she
actually dozes off during lovemaking. But that's okay. Her satisfaction
in that area is important to a sensitive guy like me and if she enjoys
sleeping during our little trysts, what the hey…
Now that she has become older, she does seem to get tired so much more
quickly. Our washer and dryer are in the basement. Sometimes she says
she just can't make another trip down those steps. I don't make a big
issue of this; as she finishes up the laundry the next evening, I'm
willing to overlook it. Not only that, but unless I need something
ironed to wear to the Monday lodge meeting, or to Wednesday's or
Saturday's poker club, or to Tuesday's or Thursday's bowling, or
something like that, I will tell her to wait until the next evening to
do the ironing. This gives her a little more time to do some of those
odds and ends like shampooing the dog, vacuuming or dusting.
Also, if I had a really good day on the course and it was wet and muddy
my clubs are a mess, so I let her clean them, you know... get the grit
off the grips and a little light Brillo on the club faces at a casual
pace. My golf bag is heavy so I lift it out of the trunk for her. Women
are delicate, have weak wrists and can't lift heavy stuff as well as
men. But I did tell her I don't like to be wakened during my after golf
nap, so rather then bother me, she can put them back in the trunk when
she's finished.
Another symptom of aging is complaining, I think. For example, she will
say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills
during her lunch hour. But boys, we take em for better or worse, so I
just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over
two or even three days. That way she won't have to rush so much.
I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't
hurt her any (if you know what I mean). I like to think tact is one of
my strong points.
When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods.
She had to take a break when she was only half finished mowing the yard.
I try not to make a scene.
I'm a fair man. I tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of
freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit for a while. And, as long as she
is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me too, then
take her break by my hammock. That way she can talk with me until I fall
asleep.
I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Sue. I'm
not saying that showing this much consideration is easy. Many men will
find it difficult. Some will find it impossible! Nobody knows better
than I do, how frustrating women get as they get older.
However, guys, even if you just use a little more tact and less
criticism of your aging wife because of this article, I will consider
that writing it was well worthwhile. After all, we are put on this earth
to help each other... Signed, Paul
EDITOR'S NOTE: John died suddenly Thursday, Oct 3. He was found with a
Callaway extra long 50 inch Big Bertha Driver rammed up his rectum with
only 2 inches of grip showing. His wife Sue was arrested, but the Grand
Jury accepted her defence that he accidentally sat on it, and she was
released on Friday, Oct 4.
Male chauvanist pig!!!!
