I'm sure i'm not the first person this has happened to, nor the last, and i'm looking forward to the differing opinions and advice and experiences.
We had a pm from a couple (not this site), liked our profile, and wanted to meetup. Did the usual, read their profile, then checked their pics, clicking through them, lovely pics of lady, then got to the last one which was of the guy. Thought to myself, wow he looks just like a guy at work, then looked again and thought, bloody hell, it is him. He's not my boss and i'm not his so no major issues there.
Now then, i don't want to be rude and not reply, but tbh, don't like lying and saying, sorry not what we're looking for, cos actually they would have been, although this would be the easier option.
The other option is to say, look, i think i know you, i'm so and so. Or, i think i know you, if you want to know who i am, get back to us or you can live in ignorance.
I'm sure we won't play cos don't feel that would work with a colleague, but I'm just not sure what i want to to do with regard replying to them. What have other people done and was the outcome good for you?
I know it's diff for all people but interested in people's experiences.
(Mind you, this is still easier than having met my uncle and his partner in a club a while back, didn't know where to look, especially as she wasn't wearing much :scared: but thankful for small mercies, neither of us were playing at the time)
J x
Blimey Jack :-
You suggested :- 'The other option is to say, look, i think i know you, i'm so and so. Or, i think i know you, if you want to know who i am, get back to us or you can live in ignorance'.
I think thats the way i'd go. At least you can then come back with " i/we are not comfortable mixing work with pleaure etc....
Good luck though lovely people.
You know this is something we worry about from time to time.
I remember going to our first social in Newcastle and thinking OMG what will we do if some of our relatives/friends or colleagues are here!!
We have seen a profile of people we know on here who dont know we swing, and they have no idea that we know, but thankfully they haven't ever mailed us.
If they did I think we would just say "oh I think you are a little too close geographically to us, as we prefer to meet with people from out of the area" or something like that.
Not strictly true but gets the end result!!
I have this worry. I have a huge family and I don't doubt that at least one of my siblings is on here.
Thankfully, I've never seen any of them on the cams - :shock:
I don't give out my location normally, and when i have met, it's with someone whose location is miles away. Recently I have become aware of a couple from my home town, though from their photos i don't know them.
I pondered what to do for a while. I felt uneasy knowing I might see them, say, in Asda, and I would recognise them but as I have no public pics on profile, they would not know I was "one of us" if you know what I mean.
I felt somehow like I was ... out of order - I don't know what the correct word would be.
So I messaged them and told them I was from their town, and although we haven't met, it feels nice to have local pals with the same hobby as me.
If its an ad and we recognise people then its obviously a no-go. Also, we tend not to reply to ads from people who live in same town as us. However, when your at a club and you meet work collegues, people from next street and even people whos kids went to school with yours, well what can you do? Your all in the same boat, just go with the flow!
John & Shel
Years ago when I was on my own and discovering the joys of having a f...buddy, we decided to involve another male and chatted about it, before eventually putting a post on a website. My buddy owned his own business btw.
It just happened that i chose one of the guys who had responded as he seemed to best fit what we were looking for at the time. I spoke to my buddy on the phone who said yeh go ahead swap pics.... Well to cut a long story short it turned out that the guy was one of his employees who sent us an "oh i deffo know one of you!"
He also knew my buddys girlfriend, and knew that i wasnt her lol!
Well we decided the simplist way was to just be honest and he approached him man to man and just said lets just be discrete and forget it happened.
We did....although it still makes me smile now, many years later.
I asked a fella not to whisper me in a chatroom, and he said "I know who you are".
I said, in the open room, "xxx, do you know how intimidating that sounds?"
But he'd left by then.
I wasn't bothered, just some idiot trying it on.
Hello all
Recognised a lady no here (no longer a member) who I went to school with, many moons ago.
Met up with her for social rather than anything else and went from there, but more like rekindling an old flame than swinging?
Interesting division of opinions.
I wonder how many of those who say honesty is the best policy have ever been publicly outed as a Swinger and then lived with the consequences?
Just ignore them would be our suggestion - it is a big Ocean with lots of fish in it and you really don't need to tempt fate with something so close to home.