Quote by Kaznkev
testing out mint toothpaste as a lubricant as a 12 year old...
At least youll have smelt minty fresh!
and whoever said lawyers were bright were not referring to teeth...
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worst ever masterbation techniques
Sexlightened
If most are honest, I think most young lads have tried the tooth paste one at that age, all you think about is your next wank, and how to make it better, and every cupboard in the house get raided, along with most item's of clothing for added texture, but some years back I used to run night club doors and one night, one of the lads rang up and cried off work, his reason, wait for it,,,, was himself and his wife had been experimenting and she had put on a pair of marigold glove's and wanked him off with a bunch of nettle's, now even now I like to self indulge but I draw the line at nettle's.
Sex God
Quote by DungeonMaster
his wife had been experimenting and she had put on a pair of marigold glove's and wanked him off with a bunch of nettle's, now even now I like to self indulge but I draw the line at nettle's.
Ouch!!
Quote by Missy
I dripped hot candle wax on my cock once when I was 14 as I read in a magazine it was nice??: It really wasn't very nice at all... and my mum wanted to know why I was squeeling in the bathroom :sad:
:rotflmao: :rotflmao:Oi... it's true and it really, really hurt me. I have Birthday cake phobias now and everything
Quote by BIoke
Oi... it's true and it really, really hurt me. I have Birthday cake phobias now and everything
OMG
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:You nut!! I just sprayed a load of toffee crisp clusters! :rotflmao: In a right mess now!
Not really a worst technique - but was driving back from Manchester. The seam of my jeans was giving me the tickles as we were rumbling along the motorway :cool: all was quiet in the car, so could let my mind disappear to the land of fantasy and thoroughly enjoy the sensation :cool:
Was approaching that moment of no return, couldn't of been at a worse moment - right on the approach to the M6 toll booths
David yelling at me to get in a lane the right lane any lane just pick a bluddy lane you dozy mare, kids woke up whinging about how much further and I'm clutching the steering wheel, pointing the car in no particular direction, eyes glazed trying to choose a lane and talk in a non orgasm voice
Waste of a bluddy good orgasm that was
Sex God
Quote by brucie
testing out mint toothpaste as a lubricant as a 12 year old...
Pfffft!
Lubricants is it? That's nowt! You try liberally smearing yer cock and balls, and the other 'alf's lady parts in Forever Living Aloe Heat Gel, thinking it's the other Forever Living Aloe Gel that you've just picked up in the dark, the nice slippy one that's not exactly like Deep Heat, then you'll know about it! :shock: Not a cold water supply big enough to deal with the after effects of that one I can tell ya. :lol:N x x x ;)
Quote by Thebonediggers
mr B was ...ahem.....using a vibe to wank me....when we were courting...trouble is the batteries had leaked and i got more heat down 'there' than I bargained for.....he was frantically flicking water over my foo foo....jeez ive never know pain like it :shock: :giggle:
OMG reading that made me see my kids favourite book in a whole new light -
"Little Rabbit Foo-Foo riding through the forest, scooping up the wiggly worms and bopping them on the head".
Sex God
well i wouldn't wanna try listing all the diff things mr b has tried over the years wouldn't be so bad but you lot are talkin bout when you stuff you tried as teenagers my ole fool still tries stuff now tut never grown up i guess
when i was 15 i used to use an impulse bottle as a dildo but one time i didn't realise i had it lid first going in and the bloody lid popped off inside :eeek: boy did i panic managed to fish it out eventually but it had me scared for a bit trying to work out how i was gonna explain that one away
when i was 15 i used to use an impulse bottle as a dildo but one time i didn't realise i had it lid first going in and the bloody lid popped off inside :eeek: boy did i panic managed to fish it out eventually but it had me scared for a bit trying to work out how i was gonna explain that one away
A bit like the legendary - "I was hoovering in the nude and accidentally got my penis caught in the pipe", or "I was naked and accidentally sat down on this coke bottle open end first" (if you use them open end first, suction prevents their removal and the medical team have to drill a hole in the bottom to allow the air to displace).
Quote by fluff_n_stuff
A bit like the legendary - "I was hoovering in the nude and accidentally got my penis caught in the pipe", or "I was naked and accidentally sat down on this coke bottle open end first" (if you use them open end first, suction prevents their removal and the medical team have to drill a hole in the bottom to allow the air to displace).
Not that i am contemplating putting a coke bottle up me bum (or anything else for that matter). But lets say it was a matter of life or death that i had to insert said coke bottle in me bum......Then no way would it go in big end first. I would take my chances with suction
Quote by fluff_n_stuff
A bit like the legendary - "I was hoovering in the nude and accidentally got my penis caught in the pipe", or "I was naked and accidentally sat down on this coke bottle open end first" (if you use them open end first, suction prevents their removal and the medical team have to drill a hole in the bottom to allow the air to displace).
Yep, and cos u cant appear to be judgemental or horrified or amused, you have to be professional and say something like 'Yes, I understand, its easily done'
Sex God
Quote by Missy
Not really a worst technique - but was driving back from Manchester. The seam of my jeans was giving me the tickles as we were rumbling along the motorway :cool: all was quiet in the car, so could let my mind disappear to the land of fantasy and thoroughly enjoy the sensation :cool:
Was approaching that moment of no return, couldn't of been at a worse moment - right on the approach to the M6 toll booths
David yelling at me to get in a lane the right lane any lane just pick a bluddy lane you dozy mare, kids woke up whinging about how much further and I'm clutching the steering wheel, pointing the car in no particular direction, eyes glazed trying to choose a lane and talk in a non orgasm voice
Waste of a bluddy good orgasm that was
That is so horny, you ladys can be so naughty, and we may not even know, even if we are sat right next to you! :twisted:
