Personally I would have shopped the guy, but has anyone considered the aftermath?
Given that the 14 year old was in a consensual relationship with the guy, and is wilful enough to virtually blackmail her mum into letting the guy in the house. What do you think would be the end result of a mum shopping her daughter's boyfriend to the police? I'm not talking about the guy, he can do time and I won't shed a tear for him. What I mean is what happens to the mum/daughter relationship?
I've been in a similar circumstance and I can attest that it is NOT a "it's all behind us now darling"! Pound to a pinch of shit the teenager would do her damnedest to get revenge on the person who "destroyed her life". Yup, poor old mum who can't do right for wrong.
A girl wilful enough to do what she's already done is quite capable of making her mum's life a living hell emotionally, ranging from being totally disruptive to actually running away from home. So who can say that that is better than the current circumstances? And if you can please elaborate.
It's all very well you knee-jerkers out there but have any of you given any thought to the real-life consequences of your 'black and white' actions?
I may have missed this but did the mother sit the 22 year old down and ask him to show restraint - pointing out to him that, what he was proposing to do was a crime and that she would report it if it happened?
I doubt whether he would've done it if she'd said it first.
I know that might've driven them out of the house but the thought may well have deterred the boyfriend.
The mother would still have had a rebellious and angry 14 year old daughter to deal with but then she wouldn't have been the first mother with that.
Setting a moral standard for your children always runs the risk of driving them away but if it is done with love and support, the more balanced children will realise it and come to terms with it. If not then it can be heartbreak but still worth the risk in my view.
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I do think it is disgusting for them to be given the ok to do this, but as it seems, if these 2 people where in love as they probs felt they were, even if the mother tried to stop them from seeing each other, they would have found a way. Short of locking the young girl in a basement with no windows, only lockin or unlocking from outside. It still doesnt make it acceptable tho
I was 14 when i lost mine to the person who is still my husband 17 yrs later, but even when i was married at 18 i still wouldnt do anything sexual in my parents house with them in it.
one rule, as a parent expect to be told that your child hates you lol
we should not as parents do what makes life easier in the short run for us, we have to do what is best in the long term for the child.
this guy is a , ok he may not have gromed her over the internet, and he may not be physically forcing her, but we all know thats not how all pedos work.
my god the mother handed her daughter over to him on a platter.
you cannot allow a child to hold emotional blackmail over your desisions.
he was an adult. she was a child. the mother was a fool.
xxfem xx
No I would not allow a 22 year old man to stay here overnight with my daughter.
xx
I am in complete agreement with your first paragraph but the second doesn't speak for me. We are all different and will therefore react differently to situations...as the various postings in this thread will confirm. Just because my view is different to yours does not mean that my comments are devoid of common sense or real world practicality and to suggest otherwise is crass arrogance.
There are a lot of good points in this thread. A lot of differing opinions and some food for thought for many I'd imagine.
It would be lovely if it didn't dissolve into a sniping match cause it's Saturday night, we're all alive and there really is no need to spoil a perfectly interesting and worthy subject by being rude to each other.
To those who have shared... thank you.
I did wonder if perhaps we had overlooked the fact that things are different now than they were when I was 14. That was 21 years ago. When you could leave your house unlocked while you popped to the shops, babies were left outside the supermarket alone while their mum went in, we left home in the mornings during the holidays armed with our packed lunch, 10p for the phone and our bikes. We didn't come home till it was dinner time and no-one worried. Well perhaps they did but not in the same way we worry today.
Maybe that's just how I remember it but to me there's a very big difference between consensual and . Just my opinion. One is abuse... the other is simply part of some people's lives as it was mine.
Can i ask the parents on here a question (and yes there is a method in my madness)
For those of you who have childern and they have BF or GF do you allow them to show a public display of affection to each other. i.e cuddle, hold hands ect?
If the above are items of law, the british legal system should be clearer of it what it means by certain elements within that law.
what is 'heavy petting'?... something American as far as I know, and what constitutes 'public display of affection'?
clarity is needed...
also further above is mentioned the , and under age sex.
isnt under age sexan act were both participants are under age?
this thread was started whereby one participant was uner age, and the other a legal adult... so isn't that ?
no need to correct my spelling or grammar thanks... you know what I mean.
lp