Would you allow your child to do this?.....

28 Nov 2008

Quote by kentswingers777
How people who do not have kids can make some of the comments here, baffles me.
.

Sorry to cut the rest out but...
Maybe because they were once 14 themselves?
Maybe because every one is entitled to reply to any thread?
dunno

A 14 year old if that way inclined will have sex regardless of the law I know I did.
is a very complex issue but from what I have seen of this story I would'nt call it that, morally wrong and against the law yes but it does'nt seem like she is doing it against her will or being fed mind games like many paedophiles do (mind games is the wrong word but I cant think of the right one)

28 Nov 2008

Quote by westerross
There are a few people in this thread who could save a few quid on their TV licenses as they only seem able to see things in black and white

No, I think they have their values clear as opposed to some who are equivocating.
:roll:
.
Since when did values ever make a difference in the real world?
Oh my dear Peanut - values are everything.
.
Values are what you have just before doing something you have to do which doesn't fit in with those values.

28 Nov 2008

Quote by Peanut
There are a few people in this thread who could save a few quid on their TV licenses as they only seem able to see things in black and white

No, I think they have their values clear as opposed to some who are equivocating.
:roll:
.
Since when did values ever make a difference in the real world?
Oh my dear Peanut - values are everything.
.
Values are what you have just before doing something you have to do which doesn't fit in with those values.
I differ. Values are what you have before you decide what you are prepared or not prepared to do. Anything else is a moral wasteland and is a spiritual land full of tumbleweeds rolling in the wind.
.

28 Nov 2008

Quote by kentswingers777
Why is it that when a thread like this happens there is always the....namby pamby leftie liberals, who come out of the woodwork?
This is ( for those who choose to think differently ) Pure and simple!
Until people realise this is illegal and anyone who condones it or makes excuses for it, is nearly as guilty as the people that are allowing this to happen.
How people who do not have kids can make some of the comments here, baffles me.
It is an adult having sex with a child, and if there is anyone here who does not agree that is disgusting and wrong, then your own values do not ammount to much......my opinion and on this kind of topic I am definatly entitled to have.

Out of curiousity kent, if the lad was 15, 16 or 17 would you still think the same?

28 Nov 2008

Quote by westerross
There are a few people in this thread who could save a few quid on their TV licenses as they only seem able to see things in black and white

No, I think they have their values clear as opposed to some who are equivocating.
:roll:
.
Since when did values ever make a difference in the real world?
Oh my dear Peanut - values are everything.
.
Values are what you have just before doing something you have to do which doesn't fit in with those values.
I differ. Values are what you have before you decide what you are prepared or not prepared to do. Anything else is a moral wasteland and is a spiritual land full of tumbleweeds rolling in the wind.
.
Hmm, like the mum who decides to steal some bread for a starving child or the father who guns down his child's . I'm sure their values once were that I'd never steal or kill.
Values are something transient and are just a guideline that is valid at the time you have them. Circumstance and expedience almost always alters people's values.
Similarly the values you had at 20 are very likely to be different at 50.

28 Nov 2008

Quote by Deviants
Why is it that when a thread like this happens there is always the....namby pamby leftie liberals, who come out of the woodwork?
This is ( for those who choose to think differently ) Pure and simple!
Until people realise this is illegal and anyone who condones it or makes excuses for it, is nearly as guilty as the people that are allowing this to happen.
How people who do not have kids can make some of the comments here, baffles me.
It is an adult having sex with a child, and if there is anyone here who does not agree that is disgusting and wrong, then your own values do not ammount to much......my opinion and on this kind of topic I am definatly entitled to have.

Out of curiousity kent, if the lad was 15, 16 or 17 would you still think the same?
In answer to that question, yes it would be different. At that age in the eyes of the law he would NOT be classed as an adult.
For those who are interested the Dictionary term for a is.... " a person who is sexually attracted to children ".
At 14 she is a child and at 22 he is an adult, so he IS attracted sexually to a child. Paint the picture whatever colour you like, but in the end it boils down to the same thing.... illegal and it's !!

28 Nov 2008

Quote by Dirtygirlie
[ stuff

:thumbup:
Pretty much sums up my views.
I have to say that at 13, I felt ready to have sex, and I would have, had the opportunity arisen.
At 16, I did, for the first time, with someone who was 18.
I then at 16 did, with someone who was 28 (he thought i was 20!)
This was my choice, (and yes I was at the legal age, so not quite as bad as the op example, but he was 12 years older than me) if he had come along 2 or 3 years before, then i might well have done it then. It didn't harm me, and I know that at a younger age it wouldn't have either.
I waited until i was 16 because I was too much of a scardey cat to break the rules, that's the only reason. I was desperate to from a very early age, I didn't stop thinking about sex.
Like it or not, for a lot of under 16s, it is ALL they think about, talk about, want to do, which I can see is very difficult for parents to think about.
You still want to cling on to your childs innocence, but they are most likely far from innocent (well, I certainly was redface

)
I often feel its such a subject to talk about, but i was first in primary seven when i discovered masturbation, and that certainly did not rob me of my childhood or make me weird etc etc.
However, I certainly wouldn't have shagged in my parents house- in fact den is the only one i have and would (and thats v v quietly, if at all! lol) and it was probably down to my respect for them and the way i was brought up that i never, and that i waited till i was 16, but i really dont think waiting a couple of years would have added any extra maturity to my decision making or made any difference to my attitudes.
If this makes me a namby pambie lefty then so be it, but it also makes me a very horny teenager once upon a time, who doesn't think sex in earlier teenage years for SOME is all that bad (note some- so many of my friends haven't even reached the maturity now to be shagging sensibly!)
It did make me think when someone mentioned re what is the 22 yr old doing?! I would never have thought at that age to sleep with anyone aged younger than probably 18 at a push, so i do think it a bit strange that he is aware of her age and still going ahead with it, knowing that it's illegal.
The guy that I slept with that was much older never knew i was 16 (we met in a club- he's not exactly gonna get me to produce id to prove anything, is he?) and especially in that case the guy could never be in the wrong about sleeping with someone underage.
wow! also an essay!
m xx

28 Nov 2008

Quote by Cherrytree
Why is it that when a thread like this happens there is always the....namby pamby leftie liberals, who come out of the woodwork?
This is ( for those who choose to think differently ) Pure and simple!
Until people realise this is illegal and anyone who condones it or makes excuses for it, is nearly as guilty as the people that are allowing this to happen.
How people who do not have kids can make some of the comments here, baffles me.
It is an adult having sex with a child, and if there is anyone here who does not agree that is disgusting and wrong, then your own values do not ammount to much......my opinion and on this kind of topic I am definatly entitled to have.

Kent -
Can you be more insulting?
How come you are allowed your opinions, but anyone who disagrees with you is a namby pamby leftie liberals, who come out of the woodwork
And, for your information, the discussions are not limited to those who have direct knowledge of the issues concerned - I have no children but I feel my views, whether agreed with or not - are allowed on here - just as yours are on any topic you choose to discuss.
Sorry Cherry but where have I ever said you are not entitled to an aopinion? You have the same rights as me or anyone else on here, to express whatever opinion you like.
As it clearly says at the bottom of my siganature, it is MY opinion. You are just as entitled as I am to have one.
What is the point in having a discussion or even crossed words with someone, if your or my opinions are the same? dunno

I do not feel I have said anything " insulting " I have expressed MY opinion, but there are people on here who think I am not entitled to mine. We all are entitled to one, and on that basis we will agree to disagree, otherwise what is the point in having a forum in the first place? :dunno:

29 Nov 2008

Quote by kentswingers777
Why is it that when a thread like this happens there is always the....namby pamby leftie liberals, who come out of the woodwork?
This is ( for those who choose to think differently ) Pure and simple!
Until people realise this is illegal and anyone who condones it or makes excuses for it, is nearly as guilty as the people that are allowing this to happen.
How people who do not have kids can make some of the comments here, baffles me.
It is an adult having sex with a child, and if there is anyone here who does not agree that is disgusting and wrong, then your own values do not ammount to much......my opinion and on this kind of topic I am definatly entitled to have.

Kent -
Can you be more insulting?
How come you are allowed your opinions, but anyone who disagrees with you is a namby pamby leftie liberals, who come out of the woodwork
And, for your information, the discussions are not limited to those who have direct knowledge of the issues concerned - I have no children but I feel my views, whether agreed with or not - are allowed on here - just as yours are on any topic you choose to discuss.
Sorry Cherry but where have I ever said you are not entitled to an aopinion? You have the same rights as me or anyone else on here, to express whatever opinion you like.
As it clearly says at the bottom of my siganature, it is MY opinion. You are just as entitled as I am to have one.
What is the point in having a discussion or even crossed words with someone, if your or my opinions are the same? dunno

I do not feel I have said anything " insulting " I have expressed MY opinion, but there are people on here who think I am not entitled to mine. We all are entitled to one, and on that basis we will agree to disagree, otherwise what is the point in having a forum in the first place? :dunno:
Whatever makes you think that opinions can't be insulting? rolleyes

29 Nov 2008

Quote by Peanut
Why is it that when a thread like this happens there is always the....namby pamby leftie liberals, who come out of the woodwork?
This is ( for those who choose to think differently ) Pure and simple!
Until people realise this is illegal and anyone who condones it or makes excuses for it, is nearly as guilty as the people that are allowing this to happen.
How people who do not have kids can make some of the comments here, baffles me.
It is an adult having sex with a child, and if there is anyone here who does not agree that is disgusting and wrong, then your own values do not ammount to much......my opinion and on this kind of topic I am definatly entitled to have.

Kent -
Can you be more insulting?
How come you are allowed your opinions, but anyone who disagrees with you is a namby pamby leftie liberals, who come out of the woodwork
And, for your information, the discussions are not limited to those who have direct knowledge of the issues concerned - I have no children but I feel my views, whether agreed with or not - are allowed on here - just as yours are on any topic you choose to discuss.
Sorry Cherry but where have I ever said you are not entitled to an aopinion? You have the same rights as me or anyone else on here, to express whatever opinion you like.
As it clearly says at the bottom of my siganature, it is MY opinion. You are just as entitled as I am to have one.
What is the point in having a discussion or even crossed words with someone, if your or my opinions are the same? dunno

I do not feel I have said anything " insulting " I have expressed MY opinion, but there are people on here who think I am not entitled to mine. We all are entitled to one, and on that basis we will agree to disagree, otherwise what is the point in having a forum in the first place? :dunno:
Whatever makes you think that opinions can't be insulting? rolleyes

My opinion.

29 Nov 2008

Quote by kentswingers777
Why is it that when a thread like this happens there is always the....namby pamby leftie liberals, who come out of the woodwork?
This is ( for those who choose to think differently ) Pure and simple!
Until people realise this is illegal and anyone who condones it or makes excuses for it, is nearly as guilty as the people that are allowing this to happen.
How people who do not have kids can make some of the comments here, baffles me.
It is an adult having sex with a child, and if there is anyone here who does not agree that is disgusting and wrong, then your own values do not ammount to much......my opinion and on this kind of topic I am definatly entitled to have.

Kent -
Can you be more insulting?
How come you are allowed your opinions, but anyone who disagrees with you is a namby pamby leftie liberals, who come out of the woodwork
And, for your information, the discussions are not limited to those who have direct knowledge of the issues concerned - I have no children but I feel my views, whether agreed with or not - are allowed on here - just as yours are on any topic you choose to discuss.
Sorry Cherry but where have I ever said you are not entitled to an aopinion? You have the same rights as me or anyone else on here, to express whatever opinion you like.
As it clearly says at the bottom of my siganature, it is MY opinion. You are just as entitled as I am to have one.
What is the point in having a discussion or even crossed words with someone, if your or my opinions are the same? dunno

I do not feel I have said anything " insulting " I have expressed MY opinion, but there are people on here who think I am not entitled to mine. We all are entitled to one, and on that basis we will agree to disagree, otherwise what is the point in having a forum in the first place? :dunno:
Whatever makes you think that opinions can't be insulting? rolleyes

My opinion.
Then your opinion is incontrovertibly wrong and I can prove it.

29 Nov 2008

I am sure you could, but I really am not bothered what you can or cannot prove really.
I have said my views as others have and this subject is heading one way only......so I am leaving it before I really say something I may/may not regret.
bolt

29 Nov 2008

Quote by Dirtygirlie
Sorry Cubes... whilst I appreciate that's your opinion and whilst I'm well aware you're entitled to it I'm afraid I can't agree.

No need to apologise. smile

I'm all for a heathly balanced debate and everyone's experience will lead them to differing opionions over most things.
All I'm saying is that my upbringing, and the upbringing my children get from me, excludes anything involving statutory . If that seems too black and white then maybe it is but in my life it's the way things are.

29 Nov 2008

Quote by kentswingers777
I am sure you could, but I really am not bothered what you can or cannot prove really.
I have said my views as others have and this subject is heading one way only......so I am leaving it before I really say something I may/may not regret.

As is your right, but please don't insult us by thinking that we buy into the BS that "it's only your opinion which you are entitled to state" is any excuse to say what you like and it protects you from being insulting.

29 Nov 2008

Quote by Cubes
Sorry Cubes... whilst I appreciate that's your opinion and whilst I'm well aware you're entitled to it I'm afraid I can't agree.

No need to apologise. smile

I'm all for a heathly balanced debate and everyone's experience will lead them to differing opionions over most things.
All I'm saying is that my upbringing, and the upbringing my children get from me, excludes anything involving statutory . If that seems too black and white then maybe it is but in my life it's the way things are.
Having an opinion is one thing, but having to deal with real life situations is quite an another.
It's also quite easy to sit back and type the right thing especially when one hasn't been in the situation themselves. Far, far easier than having to deal with the situation itself.
NB this is not aimed at you specifically by the way.

29 Nov 2008

Quote by Peanut
I am sure you could, but I really am not bothered what you can or cannot prove really.
I have said my views as others have and this subject is heading one way only......so I am leaving it before I really say something I may/may not regret.

As is your right, but please don't insult us by thinking that we buy into the BS that "it's only your opinion which you are entitled to state" is any excuse to say what you like and it protects you from being insulting.
:thumbup:

29 Nov 2008

Saying my opinion is the same as saying..with the greatest of respect. They mean the same thing.
It can let you say things that said differently may be offensive. If people do not like MY opinion, then with the greatest of respect...tough. lol

29 Nov 2008

Quote by kentswingers777
Saying my opinion is the same as saying..with the greatest of respect. They mean the same thing.
It can let you say things that said differently may be offensive. If people do not like MY opinion, then with the greatest of respect...tough.

Yeah, right. If you say so. rolleyes

29 Nov 2008

I totally agree if people don't like other people's opinions, tough - spot on.
Where I think your argument falls down, Kent, is not in your opinions, it's in the way you sometimes can't say them without also being insulting.
namby pamby leftie liberals, who come out of the woodwork
This sentence isn't your opinion on the issue we are discussing, it's a general putdown of the people who disagree with you. Or am I wrong?

29 Nov 2008

Quote by Cubes
No need to apologise. I'm all for a heathly balanced debate and everyone's experience will lead them to differing opionions over most things.
All I'm saying is that my upbringing, and the upbringing my children get from me, excludes anything involving statutory . If that seems too black and white then maybe it is but in my life it's the way things are.

Just picked up this post and in no way is this just aimed at you Cubes.
But how many people here had sex before they were 16? dunno

I did and as far as I know it has done me no harm! A 14yr old can be as much a woman as an 18yr old. Well actually I think that a persons age doesn't matter, more what they have inside.
As for the guy involved in this instance, I do think he should sit down and have a think about his choices. Plus I would not expect a parent to allow their child to be sleeping with someone in their own home.
I was about 25 before my parents let me have a boyf sleep in my room! lol

29 Nov 2008

Quote by Cherrytree
I totally agree if people don't like other people's opinions, tough - spot on.
Where I think your argument falls down, Kent, is not in your opinions, it's in the way you sometimes can't say them without also being insulting.
namby pamby leftie liberals, who come out of the woodwork
This sentence isn't your opinion on the issue we are discussing, it's a general putdown of the people who disagree with you. Or am I wrong?

I never said that because of people not agreeing with me at all. That comment is aimed at people who are always quick to come to somebodys aid, no matter how much wrong they have done.
It was NOT aimed at anybody in particular on this occasion, believe me if it was I would tell you. I am not bothered what people think of me or my views to be honest, so I would say if that was the case.
Mrs777 does not like me using the namby pamby leftie liberal phrase either... I really cannot see where the problem is.
So I have explained my actions and my views on this subject, and have also explained Cherry that my comment was not aimed at anyone in particular. So on that basis I will exit this, and bid you a nice weekend.

29 Nov 2008

Quote by kentswingers777
Saying my opinion is the same as saying..with the greatest of respect. They mean the same thing.
It can let you say things that said differently may be offensive. If people do not like MY opinion, then with the greatest of respect...tough.

I did not read your "opinion" as having any respect for me or mine. What you say there may mean the same thing to you but in my world, with my upbringing and my morals say that you don't know the first thing about having the greatest respect for anyone other than yourself.
I'm not going to apologise for having the best mum in the world who supported me regardless of the disappointment and upset I caused her. Nor will I apologise for my opinion.
You're welcome to the last word. :mrgreen:

29 Nov 2008

Quote by kentswingers777
So on that basis I will exit this, and bid you a nice weekend.

You too Kent.

29 Nov 2008

Quote by kentswingers777
I totally agree if people don't like other people's opinions, tough - spot on.
Where I think your argument falls down, Kent, is not in your opinions, it's in the way you sometimes can't say them without also being insulting.
namby pamby leftie liberals, who come out of the woodwork
This sentence isn't your opinion on the issue we are discussing, it's a general putdown of the people who disagree with you. Or am I wrong?

I never said that because of people not agreeing with me at all. That comment is aimed at people who are always quick to come to somebodys aid, no matter how much wrong they have done.

As opposed to people who are always quick to get the lynching rope out?

It was NOT aimed at anybody in particular on this occasion, believe me if it was I would tell you. I am not bothered what people think of me or my views to be honest, so I would say if that was the case.

If you are truly not bothered about people's view on either your or your opinions why do you spend so much time expressing them in public fora?

Mrs777 does not like me using the namby pamby leftie liberal phrase either... I really cannot see where the problem is.

Perhaps you should listen to other people's opinions and you may gain a better understanding and then see where the problem is.

So I have explained my actions and my views on this subject, and have also explained Cherry that my comment was not aimed at anyone in particular. So on that basis I will exit this, and bid you a nice weekend.

Why do I doubt this thread departure?
After all, you're now at the centre of yet another thread. rolleyes

29 Nov 2008

No I wouldn't.....

29 Nov 2008

Quote by Peanut
Why do I doubt this thread departure?
After all, you're now at the centre of yet another thread.

Why? because in my mind, with respect, Nuts you just won't leave kent alone :-(
I think that the fact that the 14 year old was having sex is almost less of an issue than the fact that it was a 22 year old having sex with a minor and the parent of the minor thinking it was Ok, and to do so in the manner it was done. Not right from an adult perspective whatever we feel about how we know the about how the child felt.

29 Nov 2008

Quote by Lost

Why do I doubt this thread departure?
After all, you're now at the centre of yet another thread.

Why? because in my mind, with respect, Nuts you just won't leave kent alone :-(
worship

to that one Mr doesn't know where he is :-)

29 Nov 2008

Quote by Lost

Why do I doubt this thread departure?
After all, you're now at the centre of yet another thread.

Why? because in my mind, with respect, Nuts you just won't leave kent alone :-(

With respect (a true get out of jail free card if ever there was one) if that's the case then the same could be said of yourself (along with others) with regard to me

I think that the fact that the 14 year old was having sex is almost less of an issue than the fact that it was a 22 year old having sex with a minor and the parent of the minor thinking it was Ok, and to do so in the manner it was done. Not right from an adult perspective whatever we feel about how we know the about how the child felt.
I don't recall anywhere seeing the mother say she thought it was okay, more along the lines that it was the lesser of two evils. She didn't create the situation but was merely trying to handle it in what she thought was the best way.
I don't condone her decision or even agree that what she did was right but as the parent of two girls who have either gone through the hormonal teenage stage or are smack in the middle of it, I can see where the woman was coming from.
Hands up all those people who think that telling a 14 year old girl who she can have as a boyfriend means that she will dump him?
Right, all you people with their hands up don't have teenage daughters. When you do you have got such a shock coming to you.
And for all those of you with your hands up that do have teenage daughters and still think it works, then the bad news is that you have no idea what your daughter does when she's out.

29 Nov 2008

In a perfect world...........hell no way.
In the real world...........I would do anything to help and protect my daughters and would not discount anything.
Dave_Notts

29 Nov 2008

lesser of two evils,??
there was another option here, what the parents could have done was call the police etc, they didnt know he wasnt known to them, they didnt know the 14 year old hadnt been groomed.
14, may look like a young adult, may think they are a young adult, but they are a child.
just cuse you feel the child will do it still anyway does not mean you say oh go ahead then,in fact do it at home.
your are the parent and there to protect her.
if the guy had been 15 has been mentioned, fact is this debatable issue was raised based on the facts that he wasnt.
its a good thread and a shame some people cant keep to the damm original issue.
legally the mother was in the wrong. in my eyes morally the mother was wrong.
some times children ask for something for the parent to say no to show they care.
xxx fem xx