:thumbup:
A good parable dambuster.
It just goes to show that the meek don't always inherit the earth but sometimes seem to be dumped on from a height.
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WTF ?????
Sex God
Quote by dambuster
My last words (hopefully) are actually someone else's.
u don`t mean it???????
just when we put a face to a name.......u can`t go!!!!!!!!
Quote by Scandal
I'm lost - can someone paraphrase for me please?
aRSexx :color:
:? Some people should lighten up and maybe try and get out a bit more :?
That's the top and bottom of it.
I feel light enough thank you, and I get out plenty.
Guess what I'm also still allowed to have thoughts about changes to the site and to voice my opinion providing I remain within the AUP.
Losing the ability to place pics of a certain nature might not have impact in how you use the site Scandal but it does on me, and I was disppointed that the changes that have banning implications for users, were kept so quiet initially.
I also can't see the point of locking a post to prevent media from quoting from it, as it leaves it there, still visible and still quotable, which is what started the thread in the first place.
Jas
XXX
Orgasminator
Quote by Scandal
I feel light enough thank you, and I get out plenty.
It's the ones who intimate that their whole world has fallen apart I'm on about.
You'd think it was the end of all life thereafter
No, it may not be the end of life but it was the end of the site as a lot of people knew it.
A lot of people have moved on permanently, others have stayed around..... everyone had a choice to make. Either give up and go elsewhere or stay and try to make this place like the community it was before.
I gave up and went elsewhere but recently I've been coming back as in the last couple of months there seems to be a gradual increase in the "oldies" and the decent threads. That is thanks to those who did stay and make the site what it is.
I don't think anyone has intimated that their whole world has fallen apart.... but it was a big thing when the site was taken over. For one, because we all thought it would be free forever, Amen. Two, a lot of people have put a lot of time and effort into this place and to see it go to waste is a bit offputting. Three, people have built solid friendships and relationships through this site in the past (and maybe in the future) so to see it being taken over and changed was tough to deal with.
Saying all that though, it has got a lot better here of late, I don't know whether that's because the dust has settled or what it is but now the AUP has been changed without anyone being notified beforehand or even straight after it looks like it's going to be hard to trust again!
Just my twopenneth worth.
Sex God
AUP`s????? what r they???? 
the site seems to be getting better
think it`s just a matter of everyone settling down-and finding there mod/op feet!!!!
it`ll probably take a few more months..........then come december,membership renewal
everything`ll go up in the air again!!!!!!!!!!!
the site seems to be getting better
think it`s just a matter of everyone settling down-and finding there mod/op feet!!!!
it`ll probably take a few more months..........then come december,membership renewal
everything`ll go up in the air again!!!!!!!!!!!
I don't know how I feel about all this. I used to surf a lot when my kids were around, as they know better than to just wander into my office but just lately I've not felt I can do that so much, maybe it's because I've lost the flavour of the place or what 
The changes to the AUP don't surprise me at all .... I've always believed that that any changes were at the discretion of the management and they reserved the right to change them without notice. However, after the ill feeling caused by the takeover I'm really surprised that the lessons of honestly and transparency weren't learned by the Admin's back then.
The community spirit in this place survives on trust and honesty. Without that many swingers would fade into the background as they feel it is fundamental to the "relationships" they create on here. Symbios should have learned by now that in order to gain trust you have to earn it ... just like all of us have had to do with our posting peers.
How difficult would it have been to post an update? It would have taken a minute or two and some of the bad feeling created in this thread would have been avoided. If they can change the AUP in seconds without a minute's thought for the 430,000 + members how difficult do you think it would be to announce that despite assurances we'd all have to pay for our usage starting tomorrow? (ok that's a huge example and I do hope it is one)
Trust and transparency ..... such small things that mean a huge amount in this community.
Cx
The changes to the AUP don't surprise me at all .... I've always believed that that any changes were at the discretion of the management and they reserved the right to change them without notice. However, after the ill feeling caused by the takeover I'm really surprised that the lessons of honestly and transparency weren't learned by the Admin's back then.
The community spirit in this place survives on trust and honesty. Without that many swingers would fade into the background as they feel it is fundamental to the "relationships" they create on here. Symbios should have learned by now that in order to gain trust you have to earn it ... just like all of us have had to do with our posting peers.
How difficult would it have been to post an update? It would have taken a minute or two and some of the bad feeling created in this thread would have been avoided. If they can change the AUP in seconds without a minute's thought for the 430,000 + members how difficult do you think it would be to announce that despite assurances we'd all have to pay for our usage starting tomorrow? (ok that's a huge example and I do hope it is one)
Trust and transparency ..... such small things that mean a huge amount in this community.
Cx
Sex God
Quote by Calista
How difficult would it have been to post an update?
they can post us our `new members `update every week!!!!!!!!!!
other sites we belong to have turned into pay sites & the forums just died a death ...
the forum on this site is pretty unique
this site has such great community spirit.......even the ones who voice disapproval........are only doing it in the interests of the community..........as they are gradually driven away..........this site will wind up as dull as dishwater.....which would be a great shame....
Quote by twos_company
they can post us our `new members `update every week!!!!!!!!!!
Ooh don't get me started on that one ......
I don't want to fill the rest of my fricking profile in because it doesn't say "here for the laughs" or Non Swinger!!!!!! (despite reassurances that the non swingers on the site are welcome too!)
I ticked the little box on my profile that says I don't want updates etc and yet still receive them and even if you add admin to your ignore list the "New Mail" thingy keeps flashing.
And finally stating the obvious, I'm less likely to pick swingers on my door step for fear of bumping into them in Asda with the kids in tow!!!! Or worse finding out they work for the same company as me!
:x :x :x Can you tell how pissed off I am about those "newest member" emails?Cx
Sex God
Quote by Calista
they can post us our `new members `update every week!!!!!!!!!!
Ooh don't get me started on that one ......
:x :x :x Can you tell how pissed off I am about those "newest member" emails?Cx
no..no... please tell us
:D :D this is more fun / more our speed than the chatroom!!!!!!!!!!!! :D
Sex God
Dammie, terrific post mate. but please do have another think if it meant what I think it did.
If you slam that door behind you now, it will just be the sound of another nail being driven into the coffin.
we have all tried hard to bring back the old spirit of this site, and personally I believe there are a lot of people on here that deserve a pat on the back, because slowly the ship is turning back on course, and mostly because of people like you doing the steering. Now is not the time to abandon ship, now is the time for all hands on deck.
imho.
If you slam that door behind you now, it will just be the sound of another nail being driven into the coffin.
we have all tried hard to bring back the old spirit of this site, and personally I believe there are a lot of people on here that deserve a pat on the back, because slowly the ship is turning back on course, and mostly because of people like you doing the steering. Now is not the time to abandon ship, now is the time for all hands on deck.
imho.
Sex God
Quote by Pete_sw
Dammie, terrific post mate. but please do have another think if it meant what I think it did.
If you slam that door behind you now, it will just be the sound of another nail being driven into the coffin.
we have all tried hard to bring back the old spirit of this site, and personally I believe there are a lot of people on here that deserve a pat on the back, because slowly the ship is turning back on course, and mostly because of people like you doing the steering. Now is not the time to abandon ship, now is the time for all hands on deck.
imho.
can`t believe no one else noticed till now!!!!!!!!!
check his non wedding thread in lmu.............
Sex God
if they ban everyone who make honest comments..............
what`ll be left????????
what`ll be left????????
Stop it.
Nobody has mentioned me being banned. Not directly to me, about me; at least.
I've been on muchthinner ice than this
As HLB said above, it's a precaution.
:dunno: :dunno: :dunno: :dunno:
I've said elsewhere that this Munch will go ahead, if enough people would attend, regardless what happens to SH.
If we have to find another way to arrange/promote the night, we will.
From a logistics point of view, the worse thing that could happen is that we have to organise the SHweddin via email/msn/ /writing on cows. But if that becomes necessary - that's exactly what we will do. "Me and her" already talked about that.
I hope that clears it up a little.
Nobody has mentioned me being banned. Not directly to me, about me; at least.
I've been on muchthinner ice than this
As HLB said above, it's a precaution.
Quote by In the notwedddin thread, I
While ever SH continues in it's present or in an acceptable new form, and I/we remain acceptable as members this will be run as a Swinging Heaven Munch. I truly hope that comes to pass.
:dunno: :dunno: :dunno: :dunno: I've said elsewhere that this Munch will go ahead, if enough people would attend, regardless what happens to SH.
If we have to find another way to arrange/promote the night, we will.
From a logistics point of view, the worse thing that could happen is that we have to organise the SHweddin via email/msn/ /writing on cows. But if that becomes necessary - that's exactly what we will do. "Me and her" already talked about that.
I hope that clears it up a little.
Sex God
hello rip-van-winkle!!!!!!!!
you`re back in the land of the living!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D
seen too many people vanish lately!!!!!!!!
you`re back in the land of the living!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D
seen too many people vanish lately!!!!!!!!
Sex God
Quote by dambuster
Stop it.
Nobody has mentioned me being banned. Not directly to me, about me; at least.
I've been on much thinner ice than this
As HLB said above, it's a precaution.
I hope that clears it up a little.
I think............
Quote by dambuster
My last words (hopefully) are actually someone else's.
may be the source Dammy
Sex God
oohhh.....................................
Quote by twos_company
hello rip-van-winkle!!!!!!!!
you`re back in the land of the living!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D
seen too many people vanish lately!!!!!!!!
You mean me???
Land of living.... been so busy that I sometimes think I need a month in Barbados, lying on a beach with a hunky chunky blokey dealing with my every whim. Instead I've got work, more work, oh.. and sometimes there's work to fill my time.
It'd take an awful lot of rubbing to make me vanish!
:lol: 
Sex God
Quote by Scandal
I'm lost - can someone paraphrase for me please?
aRSexx :color:
:? Some people should lighten up and maybe try and get out a bit more :?
That's the top and bottom of it.
scandal,
SH for many of us has been life-changing. for some it's just shagging. for others it's a bit more complex than that? i could not have said, even to myself, that i am a bi-sexual man 2 years ago! that makes SH important in MY life! call me sentimental, call me sad, call me whatever you like, i don't care, but i certainly don't need to get out more ta very much! :P
SH was founded on honesty, openness and mutual respect, and thanks to that, it has encouraged honesty, openness and mutual respect. somehow, it doesn't quite seem to be that anymore? i can't quite put my finger on why that is. it's just a feeling i have? and yeah . . . it makes me sad to see something that has immeasurably enriched some peoples' lives, and has established a successful formula, come under threat. maybe that's me barking at shadows, but that's just how i see it.
admin used to respect the membership, because it was run for them!? that no longer holds true, and sometimes ((( with apologies to admin, cos i'm sure you are decent guys at heart, i genuinely am! ))) it seems they have little respect for us ((( their customers! ))) whatsoever? and yep, that pisses me off!!
The community spirit in this place survives on trust and honesty. Without that many swingers would fade into the background as they feel it is fundamental to the "relationships" they create on here. Symbios should have learned by now that in order to gain trust you have to earn it ... just like all of us have had to do with our posting peers.
How difficult would it have been to post an update? It would have taken a minute or two and some of the bad feeling created in this thread would have been avoided. If they can change the AUP in seconds without a minute's thought for the 430,000 + members how difficult do you think it would be to announce that despite assurances we'd all have to pay for our usage starting tomorrow? (ok that's a huge example and I do hope it is one)
Trust and transparency ..... such small things that mean a huge amount in this community.
:thumbup: :worship: :thumbup: neil x x x ;)
Sex God
I appreciate that some people's favorite website has changed a bit but can't see how it would affect their swinging/sex/friend circle lives.
well no, it would hardly affect THAT aspect of my life in any way shape of form . . . but you're suggesting that those of us who are critical of changes to the site are being entirely selfish? as though it's only the impact these changes have on us personally ((( and our swinging lifestyles, that are so dependent on SH? ))) that motivates our criticisms? that's simply not true!
If I'm in the mood for a bit of silly online, funny banter, I occassionally look into the forum. Sometimes I find it, most of the time I don't. It's no better for daft chat than alot of other forums I use - non-sex related - but it does have it's moments, some of which are sublimely funny.
what about those who use SH to discover deeply personal things? explore their sexuality? uncover aspects of themselves that have long been repressed, and now have an outlet? the funny banter is incidental to the point of this site? funny banter is what drew me in, and what i tried to do, but underneath all that were VERY serious things at times?
and this bit . . .
What I see some of the time are some people who appear to have virtually no other life beyond this forum. People who appear to have no other friends or interests beyond this place. You seem like an intelligent bloke to me, don't tell me you can't spot them?
. . . . is patronising! we won't fall out over it, but you're being patronising! i think all of us came here, with family, friends, a real world life, a social scenen, blah blah blah . . . . what SH gave us was a different kind of life, and yes a hell of a lot of us have invested a great deal in it, cos it's important, but please don't patronise members for doing that as though they're sad feckers with nowt else to live for?
i think most people have been perfectly clear where they are coming from?
neil x x x ;)
Quote by Scandal
I don't think they are. I think alot of forum users are here for a bit of spending some yadda yadda yadda time. It fills the hours for some people because they don't actually do any swinging or shagging - in my experience of knowing them Neil!
Erm.....that is the general idea of The Cafe......the Meeting Up section is where you need to look for Swinging/Shagging.
Sex God
Quote by couple_ne2000
I don't think they are. I think alot of forum users are here for a bit of spending some yadda yadda yadda time. It fills the hours for some people because they don't actually do any swinging or shagging - in my experience of knowing them Neil!
Erm.....that is the general idea of The Cafe......the Meeting Up section is where you need to look for Swinging/Shagging.
Yep, some folk haven't worked that bit out yet though couplene_2000.... shhh, don't tell them and it'll be all the more for us! ;)
Scandal, not everyone who chats in the cafe are non-swingers, i'd remind you not to generalise so much.
People use the site for very different reasons and your reason for using the site hasn't changed much so don't complain when other people have issue. Thats the whole point of the site, there are many different uses for it as there are users and some bits overlap. Each to their own.
now run along and play nicely with the blow up dollies while i mourn not having a life.
;) :lol:
Gem. x Quote by neilinleeds
The community spirit in this place survives on trust and honesty. Without that many swingers would fade into the background as they feel it is fundamental to the "relationships" they create on here. Symbios should have learned by now that in order to gain trust you have to earn it ... just like all of us have had to do with our posting peers.
How difficult would it have been to post an update? It would have taken a minute or two and some of the bad feeling created in this thread would have been avoided. If they can change the AUP in seconds without a minute's thought for the 430,000 + members how difficult do you think it would be to announce that despite assurances we'd all have to pay for our usage starting tomorrow? (ok that's a huge example and I do hope it is one)
Trust and transparency ..... such small things that mean a huge amount in this community.
:thumbup: :worship: :thumbup: neil x x x ;)
(this is not specifically to neil - it was just this bit that raised the thought and
I haven't read what comes after this bit yet)
People value the SH community and there is no doubt there is a community (or even communities) of sorts on this site. However, I do smile when people expect Symbios to act like part of the community. Symbios is the facilitator, it is not the community and therefore should not be expected to act as such. No matter how often the guys come in the cafe/chatroom and join in.
Think of it this way....
Within a great land (the internet) there are many kingdoms (websites). Each kingdom is overseen by their own hierarchy – some governed by democratically elected governments (these are rare) but mostly they are ruled by monarchs.
The monarchs rule the kingdom – whether their kingdom was inherited or acquired by trade of goods.
The monarchs ensure that roads are built and maintained, that aqueducts are constructed to provide water away from the rivers and they develop a market place where people can meet - so all my prosper. They do these things and many things more to enable communities to grow throughout their kingdom. Yet, they are not part of those communities for they live in the castle. From time to time they may raise taxes to build new roads, impose laws for the greater good (as they see it), even raise an army to protect the kingdom – for that is their role.
The monarchs are not the community and the communities are not the monarchs.
The communities are the people and in this particular part of the SH kingdom – the community is a collective of peoples thoughts, ramblings, questions and so on appearing as text on a page. The monarchy is not the cause of a community failing – as there is still a kingdom, there are roads, there is a market place. The community is the cause because the community was/is what you write.
If the monarchy fails to maintain the roads and builds a fucking great refuse tip just down the wind – it does not bring about the end of a community. A community is not a thing it is a connection – an acknowledged connection between people. You can live in a certain town or city it does not mean you are part of that community just because you stack your pile of bricks there or even that a community actually exists there to be part of. There is only a community if there is a connection and the spirit of the community is how that community communicates.
People have mentioned the community feeling being back on SH. It was fuck all to do with the monarchy or anything they did – they live in the castle - it was the nature of the community’s contributions – what you write!
So next time any of you find yourself wanting to write 'woe is me' the monarchy has made a change and the community will die as a result – have a think about what you are doing. Heckle the monarchs for being out of touch by all means, but when it comes to the community – that is something completely different and well outside of the castle walls.
Quote by PoloLady
People value the SH community and there is no doubt there is a community (or even communities) of sorts on this site. However, I do smile when people expect Symbios to act like part of the community. Symbios is the facilitator, it is not the community and therefore should not be expected to act as such. No matter how often the guys come in the cafe/chatroom and join in.
………………………………………………………….
So next time any of you find yourself wanting to write 'woe is me' the monarchy has made a change and the community will die as a result – have a think about what you are doing. Heckle the monarchs for being out of touch by all means, but when it comes to the community – that is something completely different and well outside of the castle walls.
That was the main point of starting the thread. It was a rant at the “Monarchs†for their “interferencesâ€, inconsistency and what I see as a “Fuck you, take it or leave it†attitude
This is an extract from a PM.
As I tried to explain in my replies, my main issue isn’t actually with the mods.
What would I like to see 4T do ?
I’d like them to be one thing or the other.
Either butt out and let the Mods get on with moderating, and the community get on with having the fun we’ve had over the last couple of years; while they achieve their return on investment. Sit back, shut the fuck up, and take the money they’re owed.
OR
Join in properly with the bollox and banter of the place. I truly believe the half hearted attempt a couple of them have made is purely in response to members trying to include them, rather than them actually wanting to be part of the community.
I think the thread, like so many of it’s nature, is in danger of becoming circular, and descending into personal digs members.
Harry Hill gets on my tits too.
Quote by ScandalKerching!!!
Scandal, not everyone who chats in the cafe are non-swingers, i'd remind you not to generalise so much.
I didn't say everyone, not even most people just SOME people. Both you and Neil missed the somebit. I didn't even say the somepeople were this or that! I only said they appear!! So Gem, I won't not generalise if you don't not read it properly.
:roll: :roll: These look like two sweeping statements to me:
This part of the site is mainly a planning committee for the hardcore munchers. I've been to munches and met you at one. I had a great time but as a give/get exercise it was virtually pointless in meeting people I wanted to have sex with.
I don't think they are. I think alot of forum users are here for a bit of spending some yadda yadda yadda time. It fills the hours for somepeople because they don't actually do any swinging or shagging - in my experience of knowing them Neil!
and the use of some does little to disgiuise that when you use terms like a lot and mainly.
Being neither a hard core muncher or a non-swinger I feel grateful that I'm apparantly not included in your negative view of anyone who doesn't follow the true Scandal path to internet enlightment.
The only winners from the takeover of SH appear to be Symbios and those looking for a quick shag so it's hardly surprising that some of the others are letting off steam. What course of action do you recommend? Walk, roll over, take it on the chin or scream and shout, even if that does nothing but make that individual feel better.
My view of the internet, and this site particularly, is that in terms of finding real swinging partners, rather than cyber friends or drinking buddies, it's uneccessarily hard work. However, I wouldn't dream of denigrating anyone's use of the site for whatever reason. We are all here for our own personal ends. Some have been on a genuine voyage of discovery, some have been here for a quick shag and some are here just for the yadda yadda yadda.
No one reason is any better than another for being here. Why am I here? Until the takeover it was for the craic. Now I rarely log on but do look in to see if things have improved - not too much improvement in my view so far but I live in hope. Should I not be here since I've never placed or replied to an ad on this site, since this seems to be, in your view, a site solely for active internet swingers? A look back over your posting history would suggest that you yourself did quite a bit of yadda yadda yadda but presumably you've seen the light now?
In the time I've used this site, and that's longer than most, I've seen SH grow from a tiny site, with 20 in the chat room causing excitement, to the monster that it became, thus acquiring a value that made it ripe for takeover. Over that time some people have made genuine discoveries about themselves, some have become active swingers, some have remained just here for the chat. It seems sad that the possibilities of life changes (not too strong a phrase in terms of Neil's earlier post, and the couples we know who have started to play after finding this site) seem over, flooded by a tide of 'get yer tits out ' in the chatroom and an ever more sanitised forum.
Do I really care? Yes and no. I enjoyed my time spent on here and do miss the old forum. It allowed me to waffle about swinging when I couldn't speak to my swinging friends IRL. Will I miss munches? Not in the least, we decided after 2 that they weren't for us. Will it affect my swinging. Not 1 bit. The internet has never been a route for finding swinging partners for us, although it has fortuitously warned us off a few. Will I lose sleep over SH, or any internet site? No, but if it means that much to some people that they do, then I understand, commiserate, wish them luck and certainly don't look down my nose at them.
