1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them
2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question
3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge
4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed
5. You hear your favorite song in an elevator
6. You watch the Weather Channel
7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of "hook-up" and "break-up"
8. You go from 130 days of vacation to 14
9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up"
10. You're the one calling the police because those damn kids next door won t turn down the stereo
11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you
12. You don't know what time (Macca's, KFC, the kebab shop) closes anymore
13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up
14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's leftovers
15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt
16. You take naps
17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one
18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach
19. You go to the chemist for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests
20. A $ bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good stuff"
21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time
22. "I just can't drink the way I used to" replaces "I'm never going to drink that much again"
23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work
24. You drink at home to save money before going to the bar
25. When you find out your friend is pregnant you congratulate them instead of asking "Oh shit, what the hell happened?"
Bonus:
26. You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn't apply to you and can't find one to save your sorry arse.
Then you forward it to a bunch of old pals & friends 'cause you know they'll enjoy it & do the same
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You know you are getting old when.......
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Sex God
Quote by Bonedigger
Bonus:
26. You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn't apply to you and can't find one to save your sorry arse.
So true it's ME!!!!!!!
:cry: :cry: :cry:
Sex God
30. When your Doctor is loads younger than you! 
31. When your young niece, leaves Uni and tells you she is starting teacher training in a weeks time!
ops: and you tell her she hasn't left school yet, to be informed 'I am 23 now'!! :oops:
31. When your young niece, leaves Uni and tells you she is starting teacher training in a weeks time!
ops: and you tell her she hasn't left school yet, to be informed 'I am 23 now'!! :oops: Sex God
32. When you have to sit down to put your socks on.
:cry: :cry: :cry:
:cry: :cry: :cry:
Sex God
33. When you walk into a room and think "now why did I come in here?"
Sex God
Where's 34?
Oh here it is!
34. When you walk out the house and forget to do your flys up.
:lol: :lol:
Oh here it is!
34. When you walk out the house and forget to do your flys up.
:lol: :lol: 
Sex God
35. When you set off to go to a social and you're still wearing your carpet slippers
(and they don't go with your outfit)
(and they don't go with your outfit)
Now a serious response
Well....... sensible if not serious.
Like most men I had always haboured dreams of becoming a sporting superstar despite my obvious lack of talent. I realised I was getting old when one afternoon I was watching the football on the telly the commentator made a great fuss over a player who he referred to as a veteran in his last season, and remarkable for his age and he was 3 years younger than me. Dreams of winning the FA cup vanished in a moment buried in beer and pizza.
Well....... sensible if not serious.
Like most men I had always haboured dreams of becoming a sporting superstar despite my obvious lack of talent. I realised I was getting old when one afternoon I was watching the football on the telly the commentator made a great fuss over a player who he referred to as a veteran in his last season, and remarkable for his age and he was 3 years younger than me. Dreams of winning the FA cup vanished in a moment buried in beer and pizza.
Sex God
37. You're just about to go out to a posh do, and someone says "we're running out of time shouldn't you get dressed now!"
And you're wearing your best suit!
:cry:
And you're wearing your best suit!
:cry:
Sex God
When kids say to you, "you know in the olden days, when you were young Mum" :shock:
when you decide to come out of the swinging closet and tell younger people at work your a swinger and they laugh thinking you have got to be joking.
or
you take your daughter to a museum and she ask's " mum is that like th ebike you would have had as a kid" pointing to the the penny farthing
xx fem xx
or
you take your daughter to a museum and she ask's " mum is that like th ebike you would have had as a kid" pointing to the the penny farthing
xx fem xx
Orgasminator
Quote by Bonedigger
1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them
2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question
3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge
4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed
5. You hear your favorite song in an elevator
6. You watch the Weather Channel
7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of "hook-up" and "break-up"
8. You go from 130 days of vacation to 14
9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up"
10. You're the one calling the police because those damn kids next door won t turn down the stereo
11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you
12. You don't know what time (Macca's, KFC, the kebab shop) closes anymore
13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up
14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's leftovers
15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt
16. You take naps
17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one
18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach
19. You go to the chemist for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests
20. A $ bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good stuff"
21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time
22. "I just can't drink the way I used to" replaces "I'm never going to drink that much again"
23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work
24. You drink at home to save money before going to the bar
25. When you find out your friend is pregnant you congratulate them instead of asking "Oh shit, what the hell happened?"
Bonus:
26. You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn't apply to you and can't find one to save your sorry arse.
Then you forward it to a bunch of old pals & friends 'cause you know they'll enjoy it & do the same
used to happen to me all the time, so i decided to change my favourite songs to ones no one else had ever heard of...... hey presto i felt young again lol
