A long time ago (well,a few minutes) in a Galaxy far far away... (Well here)
(Fanfare) : "SHAG WARS"
Admit it, you can see it now. The star speckled screen with the big writing, the huge orchestral score accompanying the pre-amble as it slowly works its way towards infinity...
"It is a dark time for the Boobles. The Grumpire has won many battles and forced the brave resistance fighters out of their hiding places and forced them to flee for their lives. The Grumpire, under the command of the Evil Bonkerer Kenty-swine has transformed the SHuniverse into his own playground, with men fighting men, women fighting women, dog fighting cat, fleas performing violin solo's and all sorts of odd happenings... Despite this the Boobles spiritual leader Man-Eater (Noladreams) has managed to place a message vital to the survival of the boobles in the memory banks of her ever reliable Fur Q unit FurQMe2 (Mrs B). Together with her trusty companion Cee-Me-B-Erectio (Cherrytree) they have been placed into the care of Princess Near-Orgasma (Witchy)and despatched to the planet Getitinme to deliver the message that is the a new hope for the boobles...
Unfortunately as Near-Orgasma's craft approaches Getitinme, she is intercepted by the evil lord of the shit, Darth Res (who in a previous like was Wanakin Mydonger), who is closing in to capture the princess and her cronies..."
As you see, I have some characters already in place, however I still need :-
Obi-Wankin-Obi - Former Poki legend. Once defeated Darth Res in mortal combat, only for Darth Res to come back stronger with a better line in bondage gear.
Lick MyDonger - Is the brother of Princess Near-Orgasma and the son of Darth Res. The chief hero and good guy of the piece and also incredibly dull.
Wank Solo - Loner, pirate and vagabond. Owner of the starship The Once-in-a-Millennium Bonkin. Best friends with...
Chewcokka - Eight feet tall, hairy and speaks in a series of odd growls and grunts. Oral technique questionable. Wank's best buddy.
Grand Muff Talkin : Other than Darth Res and Evil Bonkerer Kenty-swine, Muff is the third in command of the Grumpire and owns the most scariest weapon ever invented... The Death Staff (Scream!)
Nobba Twatt - Evil bounty hunter who is hunting down Wank and Chewcokka for not turning up at a dogging meet in Wankerhead.
Application for any of the above roles is welcome via pm or on here. Other roles to be advertised as soon as suitable crap puns are thought of.
OMG tears are tripping me...im having to try and make a story up to the kids now of why im laughing!!
Res you loon!!!
I'll run the casting couch!!! :twisted:
Sarah, I had you down as Queen Bumidala of the planet Nabooty... You can do the casting couch as well though, I'll send the first auditionees up for the role of the "Death Staff" that should bring a smile to your face and a tear to your eyes...
As for Silk and Big G... I think Art Director looks suitable, along with script editor, the genius of the "Swinging in a Credit Crunch" thread must not be overlooked.
For Prequels and Sequels I am going to need the following characters too...
Queen Bumidala of Nabooty - Sarah seems to have this nailed down.
C(o)unt DoUscrew - a former poki who has turned bad and looks a little like Count Fuckula.
Quim Gone Jism - a long serving poki held in great esteem, but a bit of a maverick. Likes marmite on his toast, will travel at 40mph in a 30 zone to catch the bad guy. He is the one who discovered Wanakin and leaves with a self-satisfied grin.
Roda - The wisest and ugliest of all the poki. Leader of the poki council and part time bucking bronco.
Shava the muff - The nastiest most lecherous crime lord in the galaxy. Possibly Brazillian.
Darth Gaunty - Shit lord and tThe even more evil alter ego of Evil Bonkerer Kenty-swine.
Darth Maul - Darth Gaunty's henchman. A fan of groping, Rugby and facepaints.
OOH OOH! :bounce:
Can I put RPM down for the role of;
"Jabbat The Butt"
Did someone say Shaagggg?
There's not many female roles are there?
Can I be in charge of wardrobe instead? I'll be more than happy to be the (un)dresser :twisted:
Who is playing Princess LayHer?
Fantastic... We need more ladies roles so we can have two Princesses and Layher sounds perfectly suited to Splendid...
Great thread Resonance....
You should be in Hollywood
Minxy you can do make up and hair, you have an implement that blows hot air in your bedroom, I've seen it on cam. You've also got a hairdryer... :-O
Yes! I meant your bum! Aren't I a rascal?! ;-)
Some quotations from the film take on a whole new meaning when transposed into Shag Wars now...
"Look at the Size of that thing!"
"I dunno, do you think a princess and a guy like me could???"
"This is Red Five, I'm going in."
"This will be a day long remembered, it has seen the end of Obi-Wankin-obi..."
"She may not look like much, but she's got it where it counts kid, but were a little rushed, so if you'll just get on board..."
"...It surrounds us and penetrates us..."
"Into the garbage chute flyboy!"
"You'd think if you came in here you'd have a plan for getting out..."
'They are heading for that some moon.'
'That,s no moon'
'i don,t like the look off this.'
lol "That's no moon it's a space station!" pmsl!
Thankyou , forgotten about those!
res do you need any help on the technical side ? i'm good with a screwdriver.
