we went a while ago 4 check up just 2 b on safe side n b responsible. The staff were fantastic, helpful, and didnt even look up from her notes when she asked why the check up lol xx
Interesting thread.
I may add more later.... but to start with. I dislike them because I hate being poked about. I dislike the questions about whether my previous sexual partner was my boyfriend etc.. and the one before and the one before. I go on my own as my g/f lives 40 miles away. But if she didn't then I would take her with me too. I think that it is lovely that you both go together.
I do find them pretty dispassionate and non nonjudgmental but I do feel awkward.
It is a necessary 'evil' with this lifestyle. I do practice safe sex. But condoms are not infallible and I do have oral sex without condoms/dental dams.
The gum clinic do 'know' me now as I use the same initials etc every time I go. Since being in the lifestyle (20 months ish- fucking men for 12 months)I have been 3 times.
splendid
i have always gone regulary to my local clinic and have found it to be a not totaly unpleasant but very necessary trip and think that even if you display no symptoms it doesnt mean much till you get the test results to confirm things. i have a coil fitted and regulary get bacterial infections associated from it and get the treatment needed to clear it up and also get my smears done there as well. the only time i have ever come away not totaly happy was from my first visit when they ask all the awkward questions. how often, how many different partners etc. but the worst question i felt most insulted by was the "do you get payed?" question. i dont think the staff realise about the lifstyle totaly but the clinic i go to try their best to be non judgmental and helpful and even advised me to get hep injections which are usualy only offered to carers and hospital staff etc.
My experience of anyone working in health and care, is that they are usually extremely busy. Ideally they wish to attend to people who have had the misfortune to incur an accident or illness.
But often the hospitals and clinics find that they are inundated by the results of careless and irresponsible behaviour. Especially nowadays the effects of binge drinking and subsequent violence that seems to accompany it.
So don't be surprised if you detect a certain amount of disdain from the staff, if you consider strolling into a clinic, like it is a convenience; and announcing that your worries are founded on your 'recreational' activities. They don't actually feel inspired to help you out, but they do their duty in a professional manner. Which inevitably includes asking specific and relevant questions.
So they are generally polite and professional, but they are human and equally prone to feeling that their skills are often taken for granted and abused uneccesarily on occasion.
The first time I went with a friend and swinger so didn't feel so self-conscious - although we did giggle a lot in the waiting room!
I found the staff pretty ok really although the lady dealing with me did ask me about the "lifestyle" and why would I be involved in it. I told her matter of factly that I just want nsa sex, no relationship. I didn't feel the need to go into any great detail and she was happy with that.
Once the questions were out the way, the examination and blood tests were pretty straightforward, no hassle.
I've been again since and it's pretty much the same - in and out without any fuss.
If anyone got judgemental with me, I'd make a complaint. They're there to do a job not offer thier opinion.
the first ever time i went to the GU clinic was before i was a swinger and i went on my own really nervous about going i was but once in the waiting room was "suprised" to see couples and older people (older as in quite alot older i was 18 at the time),,,
in my own mind i had some how come to the conclusion everyone would be under 25 etc etc the embarrasment facter suddenly rose again when i was shown into the room told to take my bottoms of and sit on the bed then the door opens and in walks my part time tutor from college :shock: who was also a nurse :eeek: needless to say i nearly died but it was never mentioned at college or anywhere again about me being there so :thumbup: for descretion
The first time I went to a GUM clinic was because I was suffering from Bacterial Vaginosis(similar to thrush) they suggested I go and have further tests, I personally thought the questions they asked didnt relate to why I had gone in the first place, I too found there were people of all ages there, I found the staff to be interested in my answers to their questions and as I wasnt expecting the questions they were asking about my sex life and preferences I felt a bit uncomfortable.
The 2nd time I went was with my niece she had gone through something not very nice so had to have some tests done, the staff were brilliant with her but I did find that some of the other patients looked as if she was way too young to be there ( but may have been me being paranoid)
My experience very much follows on from what DuncanLondon said.
The last time I went to a clinic, they were not very keen to do any checks at all based on my "lifestyle choice". They wanted symptoms, or they weren't very interested in doing a full range of tests. I actually had to insist that they test me, on the basis that I had had sex with someone who contacted us to say that she had caught an STD. Thankfully, we were in the clear.
I think that from now on, I'll be going to the one of the private clinics where you pay to get tests done - at least you don't have to explain anything to them - you pay them, they do the tests. Simple. (This is from the experience of someone I know who went private last time.)
the thought that you have taken yourself to the gum clinic should be enought for the professionals to see you are responsible enough to care about your body and there fore show you respect as to having tests done after all no one goes there just for fun do they unless they want the free condoms :shock:
just my perceptions
and agree with lyns about many stis/stds having no symptoms to show and that is worrying as many people assume they will have symptoms
You are treated with clinical professionalism when you go for a checkup or treatment. I don't think you can expect to be respected for what you do ie the 'lifestyle', but you are respected as a human being; in need.
The questioning is largely to establish any trends in sexual activities and/or identify the possibility of a common source of infections. This may well be related to a social group who are sexually active within the culture of the group, and as a result showing increasing signs of the spread of infections.
It may be simple enough to go to an anonymous clinic and declare one's activities quite openly. If one is so willing to do this, why not go and see your doctor? Hmmmmmmm... unlikely.
Its this kind of contradiction which can be misinterpreted by outside observers.
I didn't mind being questioned in my visits. There was not much they could home in on as I kept the answers fairly simple, because one does not have get involved in a long inquiry.
Generally I found them as you would expect in any professional situation. Focussed on the facts and figures, efficiently going about their business. If one finds a touch of extra warmth and humanity, well fine, enjoy it. But I had no expectations of such and was happy enough to have made use of their skills.
Obviously it became apparent that people were not reporting their infections through their doctors many years ago, and as a result the clinics operate in an anonymous way. This has proved to be be a successful way of dealing with the issue.
Its easy to apply selective reasoning in such situations. Having the option not to divulge the full workings of your life to your doctor has some advantages.
Its just that we often talk to various people in a selective way, because of the circumstances. But has going to the clinic become comparable to going to the hairdressers?
I have been to the GU clinic just for piece of mind as i think many people do, i dont really think the staff care much about your life style whenever i have gone, tho i dont say we are swingers as i hate the phrase and dont see myself as a swinger, i do say we have a open marrage and we have sex with other people, the staff have never batted a eye lid at this and never made me feel embarrased, i think they hear so many stories they dont dont care and get used to it as every day life.
we attend the gum clinic quite frequently, we are totally upfront about our lifestyle and you dont get patronised always wear condoms for vaginal penetration (free from there)but of course one can catch some viruses from a persons finger when in a group situation, plus condoms come off, split in use etc. i have been told if you try to arrange health insurance say for a mortgage you have to answer a question about if youve had to have a sexual check up through your lifestyle at your doctors which may effect if they insure you whereas if you visit the gum clinic you dont have to use your real name there.
For those chosing the open route to sexual health...ie: name, address and all-the-rest. You may consider that your record of health care and treatment will soon be available at a centralised database. Your gp will have immediate access to your records, but so will a fairly large number of other people, many not involved in your health care in any way at all.
In fact the list of organisation who will have access to your records also includes the social services....and every tom, dick and harriet in most laboratories in the nhs.
) whilst sitting in the GU clinic today - what is your experience of them, what do you think they (staff at clinics) think of swinging?
