not sure if this is posted in the right forum but here goes...
me and my girlfriend have only really watched programs on the TV about swinging and have never experienced another person with us. she says the idea really turns her on of going to a swinging party. she is a little nervous though and for the first few times she feels she would just like to see what goes on before getting more 'involved'. Is this possible? or would we look like time wasters or people who are two shy to do anything (although i believe if the chance came along for me id be fine, i couldnt leave her standing on her own lol).
would anyone like to share there first experiences with us?
Lee & V
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Your first swinging experiences.....
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The right people wouldn't think you were timewasters, and anyone who would wish you to rush into anything are probably not what you are after.
The best advice I would give you is to hang around here, get to know people, sign up for a social event like a munch and take it from there.
Mrs RSAB2 xxx :angel:
The best advice I would give you is to hang around here, get to know people, sign up for a social event like a munch and take it from there.
Mrs RSAB2 xxx :angel:
, membership numbers are defo up!
Quote by Jags
Have to point out that most people would think your request for 'experiences' odd - tell me your not a journalist/media person please??
no im not from the the media hehe, was just interested on how peoples first times at parties went. not knowing much about what goes on at parties (apart from the obvious) my partner and i were just wandering what other peoples experiences were for first times.
Orgasminator
I would say that a swingers club, or a swinging/playing party is probably the worst place for a new couple to go to.
Also on a first meet, it is probably best in a social environment such as a pub with another couple/single... it gives you the opertunity, if needed, to say thanks... let us think about it.
If you meet someone(s) the first time, at thiers again it leaves you with the opertunity to leave... if its at yours and one/both get cold feet it can be very awkward to say "its not going to happen, time we went to bed and you went home..." that said, one would hope the other couple (first time or not) would be able to read the signs and body language...
The main advantage of setting in stone that the first meet is social only is that then there is no pressure to play, no need for huddled wispers "shall we/sharnt we... I want to... I dont... etc." you can talk it over and decide if you both like the other people(s) and if you'd like to entertain the idea of taking things further.
While no one would worry or mind if you played, or didnt, at a club... if can be dificult to have a sensible discussion if at a club one is straining at the leash and the other is wanting to leave... its no reflection on the couple, just that different people can react differently to the situation and visual stimulation... and in that situation it can be very dificult to discuss things rationaly.
The program "real wife swaps" last one (I missed the other 2) was actually a nice intro to the scene for the newbies... but... only because of the great couple from cheterfield understanding their predicament.... I was a little upset they portraid the other couple as always gagging for it and "hardened" whats wrong with gagging for it and being into the more "we like, lets go for it..." everyone should be entitled to play how they feel comfortable playing.. my ex and I used to do all our vetting in MSN, by the time we met for a social we knew we were probably up for playing all things being equal... guess some would have classed that as hardened although the numbers of people we met was quite small, others classed anything other than 2 or 3 socials before a first play as "harded"
I have been asked on at least one occasion "if we all click in person, we'd want to play are you ok with that?" I was, we did, and it was great :-) Some would class that as hardened... the problem is once you've swung a couple of times, just 2, 3, whatever, then you can get quite blazie sounding about it all yet still be far from "hardened" especially to new people that are still toying with the idea of swinging.
If you both enjoy the first swing, and are honest with how you made you feel at the time and afterwards in the cold light of day and both want to do it again and still feel the same towards each other... then you've already learnt that sex and love dont have to go hand in hand, especially in relation to how you feel about your partner with someone else... people can cheat and detatch the sex from the love, but can find it impossible to reconcile thier partner doing the same to them even if both cheat, as apposed to swing/swap, within the same time frame.... oh well, lol.
As I want to get an eatly night tonight, for a change, and i'm shattered i'll hunt out my recollections of my first ever swing as a single, and the first ever swing when I was in a relationship as couple and post a link to them tommorow.
Also on a first meet, it is probably best in a social environment such as a pub with another couple/single... it gives you the opertunity, if needed, to say thanks... let us think about it.
If you meet someone(s) the first time, at thiers again it leaves you with the opertunity to leave... if its at yours and one/both get cold feet it can be very awkward to say "its not going to happen, time we went to bed and you went home..." that said, one would hope the other couple (first time or not) would be able to read the signs and body language...
The main advantage of setting in stone that the first meet is social only is that then there is no pressure to play, no need for huddled wispers "shall we/sharnt we... I want to... I dont... etc." you can talk it over and decide if you both like the other people(s) and if you'd like to entertain the idea of taking things further.
While no one would worry or mind if you played, or didnt, at a club... if can be dificult to have a sensible discussion if at a club one is straining at the leash and the other is wanting to leave... its no reflection on the couple, just that different people can react differently to the situation and visual stimulation... and in that situation it can be very dificult to discuss things rationaly.
The program "real wife swaps" last one (I missed the other 2) was actually a nice intro to the scene for the newbies... but... only because of the great couple from cheterfield understanding their predicament.... I was a little upset they portraid the other couple as always gagging for it and "hardened" whats wrong with gagging for it and being into the more "we like, lets go for it..." everyone should be entitled to play how they feel comfortable playing.. my ex and I used to do all our vetting in MSN, by the time we met for a social we knew we were probably up for playing all things being equal... guess some would have classed that as hardened although the numbers of people we met was quite small, others classed anything other than 2 or 3 socials before a first play as "harded"
I have been asked on at least one occasion "if we all click in person, we'd want to play are you ok with that?" I was, we did, and it was great :-) Some would class that as hardened... the problem is once you've swung a couple of times, just 2, 3, whatever, then you can get quite blazie sounding about it all yet still be far from "hardened" especially to new people that are still toying with the idea of swinging.
If you both enjoy the first swing, and are honest with how you made you feel at the time and afterwards in the cold light of day and both want to do it again and still feel the same towards each other... then you've already learnt that sex and love dont have to go hand in hand, especially in relation to how you feel about your partner with someone else... people can cheat and detatch the sex from the love, but can find it impossible to reconcile thier partner doing the same to them even if both cheat, as apposed to swing/swap, within the same time frame.... oh well, lol.
As I want to get an eatly night tonight, for a change, and i'm shattered i'll hunt out my recollections of my first ever swing as a single, and the first ever swing when I was in a relationship as couple and post a link to them tommorow.
